For anyone interested here are direct links to previous reviews of DVDs and blurays picked up at Dollar Tree:
January 2022 Reviews:
Viking Siege -- (5/10) -- Viking Siege is a low budget, British film in which a group of female warriors infiltrate a local monastery to exact revenge on the monks there who kidnapped several of their family members and sold them into slavery. Their plans are somewhat derailed when a group of vikings show up to the monastery in search of refuge from a group of tree-beasts that are trying to kill them. None of the actors in the film are well-established, with most only having a few other film credits to their resume (with most of those being similarly budgeted films).
Overall, this provides a recipe for a terrible movie; and yet, oddly, Viking Siege is a pretty entertaining B film. The actors do a pretty solid job (particularly when factoring in their experience level); the plot rarely meanders off onto tangents; the action scenes are pretty decent; and while there are a number of characters in the film, most of them stand out enough so that they don't simply blend together.
First off, this is 8 films on one double-sided DVD (four movies on each side). The video quality for some of the films is really bad as it honestly looks like someone took a VHS recording and simply added it to a DVD.
The Crippled Masters -- (5/10) -- After it's been decided that Lee Ho has betrayed his vengeful master, his arms are cut off as punishment and he's banished from the dojo he was a member of. With no money and no connections, things turn worse for Lee Ho when he attempts to get food in a restaurant and finds eating and drinking without his arms extremely difficult, resulting in ridicule by the other patrons, and ultimately Lee Ho is thrown out and finds himself on the run again. He soon finds himself in a rural community where he begins to learn to live life again with his disability.
Not long after, Tang, the man who oversaw Lee Ho's punishment, finds that he has also ran afoul of the evil master and has his legs drenched in acid as his punishment, leaving him crippled as well. He ultimately finds himself in the same rural village as Lee Ho while also running from the master and the two former adversaries square off before ultimately coming together to realize their true enemy is the master who they decide to seek vengeance against.
Depending upon one's viewpoint, The Crippled Masters can be seen as an exploitative film that awkwardly focuses on the disabilities of its two main protagonists, or as a vehicle that's far ahead of its time by highlighting the capabilities of the two men and showcasing them as heroes who are more the able to fight back against their adversaries.
Regardless, the real problem is that while the film is decent and watchable -- it's just not that good. The martial arts scenes certainly highlight the hard work and training put in by its two main stars, but they aren't on par with most other films of this era and genre. And while plot isn't always the main driving force in a kung-fu film, the storyline for The Crippled Masters is very basic and predictable, with some significant holes (for example, it's never explained what Lee Ho allegedly did, which began the whole conflict in the movie).
Fist of Fear, Touch of Death -- (2/10) -- Fist of Fear, Touch of Death is a faux documentary in which "TV reporter" Adolph Caesar is hosting a karate tournament in which competitors are trying to become the heir apparent to Bruce Lee. The promoter of the event, Aaron Banks, is churning up additional interest in the tournament by circulating the rumor that Bruce Lee's death was actually the result of a maneuver known as the "touch of death," a punch that would somehow cause internal damage resulting in later death. The film also features Fred Williamson, who oddly serves as a comedic element where random New Yorkers confuse him as Harry Belafonte. The film intersperses past segments of Bruce Lee in action (or in interviews) alongside interviews of the competitors in the "tournament," many of whom speculate about Bruce's death not being a natural event. There are additional segments of the competitors in "action" as well as some "biographical details" in which scenes from two older films are used to portray a story of Lee's background including the history of his "great grand-father," who ironically also died of the "touch of death."
Overall, this film is laughable, but sadly not in a way that provides a lot of entertainment. The tournament story is simply a wraparound to the segments of "The Bruce Lee Story" which fictitiously recounts Lee's background. Much of the action is poorly done (aside from the scenes from old, actual kung-fu films). Bruce Lee is prominently featured on movie posters (or DVD covers) and is only in the film via past interviews or old movie scenes (that are simply strung together to tell a "story" of his past). Perhaps the only interesting aspects are simply seeing a few scenes of New York City in 1980 in the wrap-around "tournament" story as well as seeing a truly ridiculously made exploitation film.
Jackie and the 36 Crazy Fists -- (5/10) -- Audio and video on this particular film was not good at all, so some of the initial scenes were a bit hard to understand. Up front, though, Jackie Chan is not in this film despite being on the cover and his name being used in some translations of the title. That said, it was a decent kung fu movie.
Champ vs. Champ -- (6/10) -- Champ vs. Champ begins as a mundane, run of the mill kung fu film typical of the late 70's or early 80's in which Dragon Lee finds himself attacked while wandering through a rural area. Apparently he'd been told never to return to the region as he's ran afoul of the local, villainous leader. There's additional, boring setup to establish the local villain is after a list of his enemies that are plotting against him (because apparently people wishing to overthrow him wrote down a list of everyone participating in the coup attempt) and kidnaps some of the ringleaders (one of which turns out to be the father of Dragon Lee's bride to be).
Eventually, though, things pick up when Dragon Lee loses his leg to a poison dart and has to replace it with a steel one and a run of the mill kung-fu film with a slightly convoluted plot morphs into a mixture of great martial arts fighting and laugh out loud comedy (some of which was likely unintentional). I probably would have rated this 2.5 stars, but had to round up to 3 given that it has one of my (now) favorite lines, "What are you doing here, you long-haired son of a she-goat?"
Road -- (4/10) -- Road is an independent, relatively low-budget action film from the UK which focuses on Shokka, a former criminal who is trying to track down the people responsible for killing his younger brother.
The film seems to have been a labor of love for its creator Vitae Nas as the opening credits explains that the movie took him ten years to complete and required jumping through a number of hoops. In fact, Nas served as writer, director, producer, cinematographer, editor, and basically everything else. It's worth noting that at the end of the credits is basically a letter by the filmmaker talking about his life's history which was a bit bizarre.
The majority of the actors in the film are amateurs -- most of which have few (if any) other acting credits on their resume. In fact, many are hip hop or rap artists in the UK -- such as Roach Killa (a Punjabi artist), Dr. Zeus (a notable Punjabi music producer), and Scorcher (an English rapper). Oddly, the star of the film (Cameron Caan) isn't featured on the movie poster -- instead that credit goes to Ricci Guarnaccio, who has a relatively minor role in the film, but has the notoriety of being a star on the UK reality series Geordie Shore (which is essentially the British version of Jersey Shore).
Overall, this movie isn't that good, but it's certainly not terrible. I've watched quite a few low-budget/indy films and many are abysmal and tough to get through; and for an independent film from a first time filmmaker (who directed, wrote, and did nearly everything else for the film) -- Road is somewhat impressive. The cinematography is relatively well-done as flashback scenes are handled through black and white segments; several of the action scenes are well shot; some of the fight scenes are fairly well-done; and somehow the filmmaker arranged to have a number of high end automobiles, a helicopter, and an actual tank in the film. The script and plot aren't great, but it's a cohesive storyline that works. The audio is consistently clear throughout, which is nice as poor audio quality is often a characteristic of low-budget films).
Curse of the Mayans -- (2/10) -- Curse of the Mayans focuses on an expedition by Chicago-based academic Dr. Alan Green. Dr. Green has been hired by a wealthy collector to track down a lost Mayan structure to collect an unstated object. Dr. Green seeks out Danielle Noble who puts together a team to assist with the exploration.
There are lots of problems with this film. The story build-up is very long. This is an 88 minute sci-fi/horror film, and there are about 60 seconds worth of alien/horror scenes in glimpses in the first 65 minute. The sci-fi element finally occurs about 70 minutes into the film. In addition, several of the scenes are shot in a weird slow motion style that makes them seem to be dream sequences despite the fact that they were not.
Quite a lot of time is spent on establishing that the main female protagonist (Danielle) lost her former boyfriend in an accident despite it having little relevance to the rest of the plot. Another scene in which the exploration party is accosted by bandits takes a surprising amount of time despite contributing nothing to the story. A number of actors are involved with the movie, yet only three characters really stand out -- Dr. Green and the two females in the party. Little to no time is spent establishing who the male members of the exploration party are, and it makes them nearly indistinguishable as the story unfolds (I actually found myself trying to figure out which guy was which nearly 50 mintues into the movie). The last twenty minutes are overly dark making it difficult to see what happens; and when adding that to the fact that only three characters are recognizable, it makes following the events nearly impossible. The conclusion is, as expected based on the build up, unsatisfying. Overall, this just isn't a good film.
Timecrimes -- (6/10) -- Timecrimes is a low budget Spanish film that focuses on time travel. I didn't have high expectations for the film, but I have to say I found it pretty entertaining and worth hanging on to. It approaches time travel in an interesting way -- instead of focusing on major events or massive changes, it simply focuses on one guy making a small jump in time and looking at how that can impact things. Definitely worth a watch. The DVD release also includes an interesting short film by the director, which has nothing to do with Timecrimes, but is also an entertaining and bizarre watch.
December 2021 Reviews:
Battalion -- (2/10) -- This is a low budget sci-fi film out of Australia in which the Earth comes under attack by a group of aliens who begin attacking areas in the South Pacific. The actors (who are all Australian) play American soldiers who are deployed to aid with the fight. For a low budget film, the acting and special effects are decent enough. The real problems with the film are with the script, editing, and audio. Several scenes feature audio that's tinny and difficult to understand. Also, the script writers attempted to get far too creative with the story as there are several scenes jump around from present to past. Unlike other films that effectively use that mechanism, these time jumps don't seem to have any actual purpose in telling the story -- in fact, the film probably would have been better had all the scenes simply been put together in chronological order. There were also a few minor plot points that the viewer just has to interpret as they are alluded to without any real explanation. Overall, with better editing and a slightly better script (in which some of the melodrama was trimmed out), this could have been a good low budget sci-fi watch.
Merry Christmas, Baby! -- (4/10) -- This is the fourth Christmas film to feature the Chandler family, although it's the only one in the series to be released on blu-ray (via Echo Bridge). The film is made for TV, originally airing on Up TV and centers on a large family getting ready for the Christmas season. Marci is focusing on her new event planning business which has had a rocky start; Blair focuses on being the ideal father for his new baby, particularly as they approach their first Christmas together; Myra is struggling with an empty nest; and Stephanie is struggling with starting a new career. The movie is something of a dramatic comedy, and while it does well with the comedic scenes, the drama sometimes feels a bit too forced. In particular, the scenes with Blair focusing on his role as a father seem like something from an 80's soap opera. While it's the fourth film in a five film series, it doesn't really require previous knowledge of the first three to enjoy. Overall, it's an average Christmas movie and does somewhat prompt one to check out the other films focused on this famiily.
Tiny Christmas -- (4/10) -- This is a very short film (66 minutes) from Nickelodeon aimed primarily at a pre-teen audience. The premise is that an elf delivering presents from Santa accidentally shrinks a girl and her cousin using a pair of special goggles. Through a series of predictable events, they end up at the home of their nearby neighbor and must find their way home to return to their normal size before the end of Christmas. Despite being fairly predictable, it's a cute movie that many older elementary school kids will enjoy. The acting is solid and professional -- the two lead girls starred in TV series on Nickelodeon and a few of the supporting actors are recognizable from shows on the SyFy network such as Panou (Flash Gordon, Sanctuary) and Matty Finochio (Day of the Dead). Overall, it's a fun, quick holiday watch.
Black Nativity -- (5/10) -- This is a film adaptation of a play by Langston Hughes, and is primarily a musical. Overall, I thought it was pretty good.
Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas Is You -- (4/10) -- There are lots of animated Christmas movies and specials that have been made. Many are good, and quite a few are fairly poor. This one fits more into the latter category. At 90 minutes, it feels overly long -- like a 40 minute cartoon that's been stretched with pointless filler to get to feature length. In addition, there are elements of the story that are just questionable for a Christmas special. For example, a young Mariah's grandfather is overly envious of his neighbors to the point of trespassing onto their property to try to disable or damage their exterior Christmas decorations. That might work in the right context, such as irreverent or goofball comedy (South Park, The Simpsons, or even the Christmas special Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer), but seems out of place in a special that's aimed at younger kids and is more of a straightforward story of finding the true meaning of Christmas. The animation isn't very good given that this is a Universal release. Overall, it's okay, but certainly no Christmas classic.
A Merry Friggin Christmas -- (6/10) -- This doesn't get great reviews, but I thought it was a pretty solid Christmas film. Joel McHale plays the estranged son of Robin Williams and while spending the holidays with his family (who he struggles to connect with) he realizes on Christmas Eve he's left his son's presents back at their home several hours away. He and his father set off to retrieve the presents. It's a good family story and has some very funny moments (mostly from the awkward brother, played by Clark Duke).
Krampus: The Reckoning -- (3/10) -- Basically all of the low-budget Krampus movies are bad, so in watching them, it's often a matter of trying to determine if one isn't completely woeful. With that, Krampus: The Reckoning is one of the better entries in the low budget Krampus genre. While it's plot is generic, formulaic, and predictable, it's at least cohesive and sensible. The filmmakers don't try to get overly creative -- they put together a basic low budget horror movie (with many of the typical components, including amateurish acting and some gratuitous nudity) that isn't great cinema, but is certainly watchable.
Krampus: Origins -- (1/10) -- One of the problems that I often notice with low budget films, particularly ones in the horror genre, is that they try to get a bit too creative with the storyline. They often try to introduce too many concepts or characters, resulting in a convoluted plot that doesn't have a cohesive beginning, middle, and end. Krampus: Origins falls prey to this fallacy. The film begins in World War I where a soldier finds a mysterious artifact that an enemy soldier was somehow using. At the same time, the soldier's wife takes up a new position as a teacher at a parochial school (or orphanage) which is ran by an alcoholic priest. Several of the students are engaged in witchcraft (although not for nefarious purposes, it seems). Krampus doesn't play an actual in the movie until an hour into the 90 minute film. Ultimately, there's simply too many elements that don't come together well in the end as the plot wraps up relatively quickly, leaving some questions that most viewers simply wouldn't be interested enough to learn more about.
The Munsters' Scary Little Christmas -- (4/10) -- Overall this was a decent Munsters film. Certainly not as good as the original cast, but a mediocre watch.
November 2021 Reviews:
Coven -- (1/10) -- I really thought when I first checked into this movie, it had mixed to mediocre reviews on IMDb, but it's currently sitting at a 2.7 and that's way too high for this film. It's pretty bad. It's 80 minutes, mostly boring, has amateurish acting, and is clearly inspired by The Craft to a point where it copies aspects of that movie. For such a short movie, it takes quite some time to really get moving into the storyline; some aspects don't make a lot of sense or connect well; and the majority of "what happens" occurs in the last 20 minutes. Overall, it's just not worth the time.
The Dalton Gang -- (1/10) -- This is another Christopher Forbes movie (which means it's bad) and it's probably on the lower end of his films (which means it's really bad). It's basically about the Dalton Gang from the Old West and culminates in the Coffeyville Bank Robbery. The acting is bad, but that's a staple for Forbes' films. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) the audio is also bad in some scenes making it very difficult to hear the dialog. There's very little action; but that's often the case in these films -- they are primarily scenes of dialog as one would see in a play with a few interconnecting "action" scenes scattered in. The ending gunfight is over quite quickly, which probably aligns with history, but makes for an anti-climactic movie scene.
October 2021 Reviews:
Little Monsters -- (7/10) -- Little Monsters is an Australian zombie romantic comedy where a group of young children go on a school field trip to visit a well-known kid's entertainer only to be caught up in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. Josh Gad plays the kids entertainer and is far from his normal "good guy" role. Lupita Nyong'o plays the kids' teacher who focuses on keeping the kids safe and oblivious to the dangers around them. Overall, the movie is quite funny as well as entertaining throughout. Definitely a solid pickup from Dollar Tree.
Family Bible Collection: The Power of the Resurrection with 3 Bonus Movies
This is a 4 film collection and all the movies are on a single disc.
The Power of the Resurrection -- (3/10) -- This was probably the best video quality of all the movies on the disc. Unfortunately, it's fairly boring. Peter is in prison with another young man who fears impending torture by the captors. Peter reassures the man by recounting the last days of Christ's life and his resurrection. It wasn't bad -- just not overly interesting.
I've previously reviewed the other 3 films on this DVD:
[Show spoiler]
I Beheld His Glory -- (5/10) -- If I recall correctly, this film (which is about an hour in length) features the first TV appearance of James Dean. The film focuses on a Roman centurion who is sent out to recount the last days of Christ's life. He finds a group of people eager to listen to his story and he goes through the events from the Last Supper to the Crucifixion. Overall, it was decent. The video quality is not that great -- I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it was simply a transfer from a VHS recording. Dean's role is pretty minor overall.
Hill Number One -- (5/10) -- This film is actually an episode of "Family Theater," which was originally a radio show started by Patrick Peyton (the priest who popularized the phrase, "the family that prays together stays together" back in the 1940's) that eventually became a television show. Anyways, this is set in the 1950's during the Korean War and begins with a wraparound story in which a company from the US Army are discussing the difficulties in taking one of the hills. When the company priest visit, he recounts the story of the first hill (referencing the hill of the Crucifixion). The story then transitions to a speculative account of the time period between the Crucifixion and the Resurrection. Again, the video quality isn't the best, but it was relatively entertaining.
Martin Luther -- (3/10) -- This was previously reviewed in February:
This is a 1953 film that serves as a biographical account of a portion of Martin Luther's life. The quality of this particular release wasn't that good (although that's not to be unexpected considering there are four movies on the disc and it's from Echo Bridge) -- it's probably VHS level. It was certainly watchable and, while not terrible, the film was mostly boring. It's almost more of an acted out documentary than an actual biopic. There are lots of details of the specifics of his beliefs and how they differed from the Church at the time, but there was little in the film that delved into his character. Overall, I just didn't feel that this was a very engaging movie and I can't see ever wanting to re-watch it.
Beyond Skyline -- (6/10) -- I re-watched this while watching the Skyline trilogy all together since I recently picked up the third film in the series (Skylines). Overall, I thought it was a solid trilogy and this second film in the series is quite good. While it works as a standalone film for folks unfamiliar with the other movies, it's far better to watch it right after watching the first movie in the series since it helps connect everything together.
Rise of the Mummy -- (3/10) -- This is a low budget British horror film in which a group of university students studying a newly discovered mummy become the victims of an ancient curse. YouTube personality coolduder makes an appearance in the film as a YouTube expert on paranormal things. Overall, it was okay. It definitely could have been better, but had some interesting aspects beyond what you find in a typical low-budget horror film.
Woman in the Woods -- (5/10) -- This was a weird one that grew on me as I watched it. Jason is a Canadian of Filipino decent whose father just died. For years, his father had always told Jason about growing up in the Philippines and about all of the legends of the place. He spoke about wanting to take Jason there to show him all of these fantastical things. After his father died, Jason takes off to the Philippines without telling his family and ends up experiencing many of the legends his father told him about. The movie is narrated by the father and many of the other characters in the Philippines don't speak English (and there's no subtitles) so you don't always know what they are saying -- but I think that's the point of the movie because Jason often has no idea what people are saying to him. While not a great movie, this was still pretty entertaining and will be one I'll hang on to.
A Haunted House -- (5/10) -- I know some people found the bluray of this film at Dollar Tree. I actually got the DVD in a trade (which may or may not have been a Dollar Tree purchase for the other person). Anyways, the film is similar to Scary Movie and mostly spoofs Paranormal Activity. It's not great, but it was entertaining enough for what it was.
Vampire's Kiss -- (7/10) -- So this is one of the MGM titles that seemingly got a Dollar Tree specific release. The DVD has no special features and no menu -- the movie starts up as soon as you plug it in. That said, the quality was okay, and the movie itself was quite entertaining. Nicolas Cage plays a higher up at a publishing firm who is struggling with his romantic relationships as well as his mental health. When he meets a mysterious woman one night, he becomes convinced she's a vampire who is slowly turning him into one as well. Cage is extremely over the top and quirky in the film, which really enhances the whole story. Overall, definitely entertaining.
Crying Wolf -- (6/10) -- This is not at all what I expected it to be. I was anticipating a low budget werewolf movie (which it is). But it's really more comedy horror (specifically British comedy) than just low-budget horror and I thought it worked quite well. It was definitely worth the watch.
September 2021 Reviews:
The Answer -- (3/10) -- This is a pretty forgettable movie about a guy with special powers who, after receiving a mysterious gift from his long-dead mother, is being hunted by a mysterious group with superhuman powers. The first 10-15 minutes was entertaining enough but it fell apart after that and became cheesy, predictable, and boring.
Krampus Unleashed -- (3/10) -- Decades ago a group of fortune hunters find the lost treasure of a German immigrant including a summoning stone that unleashes the Krampus. Many years later, a family visiting relatives in the American southwest find the stone and accidentally unleash Krampus on themselves and the nearby locals. Overall, for a low budget Krampus movie, this wasn't overly terrible. I had very low expectations after watching some of the other "Krampus" films. It's certainly not great, but it is better than some of the others.
Donnybrook -- (6/10) -- Jamie Bell is a former marine who is down on his luck and living in poverty. He believes the only option to help his family is to enter the Donnybrook -- an underground bare knuckle fighting competition. Frank Grillo is a brutal meth dealer who exerts his brutality on all who cross his path, including his own sister. Margaret Qually portrays the conflicted sister who struggles between her loyalty to her brother and her own self-preservation. Overall, this is a pretty good (if difficult) watch. It's difficult both in content as well as the visuals -- some scenes are so dark that they are almost unviewable. Definitely a title I'll probably hang on to.
LEGO DC Comics Super Heroes: The Flash -- (6/10) -- This was pretty good. The Justice League are working to stop Joker when Flash ends up in a time loop. He later ends up facing off with Reverse Flash. Not quite as funny as some of the other LEGO DC Superhero movies, but overall, entertaining.
My Pet Dinosaur -- (4/10) -- The premise of this movie is that a group of kids live in a town where a number of people are getting cancer (although that whole plot point seems to disappear). They find a mysterious substance while wandering in the woods to work on a science project and take samples. Later, a baby dinosaur appears from the substance in one of the kid's rooms. The kids keep it a secret until it begins growing at an exponential rate. More dinosaurs begin to show up in the town and the military shows up to deal with the situation (and seemingly keep information bottled up). The kids work to save the dinos despite the "evil" military leader. Overall, it's okay for a low budget kids movie.
The Dwarves of Dragon Mountain -- (4/10) -- This is a fantasy movie in which three dwarves who are miners get trapped in a cave-in. The acting is good. The costumes are great. It's filmed well. But, overall, it's just okay. There's not a ton of action as it's mostly a character-driven piece. There are components that connect them to their outside world, but you don't learn a lot about what's going on overall. This feels almost like a short story that exists in a larger world that would work better if you're familiar with that larger world scenario.
CJ7 -- (2/10) -- CJ7 is about a poor father and son pair in China who cross paths with a cute alien that attempts to help their family. The movie is written by, directed by, and stars Stephen Chow (Kung Fu Hustle, Journey to the West) and is released by Sony. It has a pretty decent rating on IMDb, so I thought this would be pretty good. However, there are tons of problems with this film. For a movie aimed at children -- it's not that good. Granted, there are cultural differences between the US and China and this was created for a primarily Chinese audience. That said... the movie features scenes in which the father beats the boy for wanting a toy; locks him in a small wardrobe; yells at him; etc. The father (a poor construction worker) has a physical fight with his boss at his job. The kid beats on the cute alien and throws it in the trash can after it doesn't aid him in cheating on a test. The cute alien defecates on the boy in retaliation for the poor treatment it received. Overall, it was hard to get through this film. Luckily I have a friend that's a huge Stephen Chow fan, because this one won't stay in my collection.
Monolith -- (5/10) -- The premise of this is a woman is taking a surprise visit to see her husband with her kid driving a new, state of the art vehicle with a lockdown feature. After an unexpected accident, the child gets locked in the car in lockdown mode and it's up to the mother to figure out a way to save her child while in the middle of nowhere. I expected this to be hokey, and while I wouldn't say it was a great movie, it definitely kept me entertained and invested in the story. Most everything is predictable -- you see every mistake coming before it happens, but again, the movie does a good job of keeping one invested in the story. Additionally, the desert scenery where the film is set is very visually appealing. Overall, this was a pretty good watch.
August 2021 Reviews:
The League of Legend Keepers: Shadows -- (2/10) -- This is about a "family of archaeologists" (although it's really just the father) who have traveled around the world looking for 5 pendants that supposedly relate to the Holy Grail (although that plot detail later gets seemingly lost). Their most recent stop is California where Sophie, the eldest daughter (and star, and co-writer of the film), is having trouble with many of her new classmates. Simultaneously, an ancient spirit is also on the hunt for the pendants, but there is also a super secret organization (The League of Legend Keepers) who work to keep the world (and, as they mention, galaxy) safe from such evil. This is a Dove approved movie that's supposedly a horror film for kids. The problem is some of the scenes would be a bit too much for younger kids while the plot is too much of a mess for older kids to be entertained with. It's co-written by the movie's star (Isabella Blake-Thomas) and directed by her mother. There are some competent actors in the film that have been in other things, but the movie just doesn't come together. It's quite short (at 72 minutes) but feels like a longer watch as it's fairly dull (and at times convoluted).
July 2021 Reviews:
Amityville MT Misery Road -- (0.5/10) -- This almost has to be seen to be believed. A Florida couple receive a letter from a friend who went out to the haunted area of Mt. Misery Road in NY. The letter included photos of floating "orbs" that were apparently supernatural. The couple decides to take a trip there and records their journey. They are warned to stay away from the place by some local guy in Florida who grew up near the area as well as a "historian" in NY who researched and published about the area. Ignoring the advice, they push onward and document everything with their cell phone. The real-life couple that star in this film directed, produced, wrote, created the music, etc. etc. (literally the end credits list the two of them in every category). Chuck Morrongiello is the lead and he's apparently a guitarist that previously played with Marty Balin (of Jefferson Airplane). His wife features prominently in the movie and often seems to enjoy displaying her physical attributes. Overall, the story is a mess. The acting is a mess. The camera work seems to primarily be done with a cell phone and a selfie stick. I'm somewhat amazed that it actually got a DVD release.
The Jurassic Games -- (5/10) -- This is basically what it sounds like -- Jurassic Park meets Hunger Games. The premise is death row inmates are put into a live virtual game show in which they must face off with dinosaurs. If the contestants die in the virtual world, they are immediately given a lethal injection in the real world. The final survivor wins their freedom. Overall, for a B movie with a hokey premise, I thought this was pretty entertaining. It has at least a couple of actors I've seen before including Perrey Reeves who was Mrs. Ari Gold in the HBO Entourage series.
Can You Keep a Secret? -- (5/10) -- This is a fairly standard straight to video romantic comedy which stars Tyler Hoechlin (Superman in DC's Arrowverse) and Alexandra Daddario. The premise is a woman is returning on a plane from a bad business trip experience and gets a bit too tipsy on the plane. When they experience turbulence, she spills all of our closest secrets out to the man sitting next to her who she later discovers is the CEO of the company she works for. Overall it was a pretty fun, light watch.
Alien: Reign of Man -- (1/10) -- This is from the same writer and director as The Dawnseeker and stars one of the same actresses, who plays a character by the same name (however, it seems the movies are not connected). The movie focuses on an attempt to save Earth, which has been ravaged by a virus that's turned humans into zombies (as best I can recall -- honestly the whole virus thing is mostly in the background). A group of eternals (who have survived the virus?) are on a mission to get a device that will somehow turn time back and prevent the virus. Honestly, I could be wrong about some of the plot details -- the movie is hard to follow, it's boring, the acting is poor, and the dialog is often pompous and over-written. Overall, this is terrible and not worth the time.
The Dawnseeker -- (1/10) -- I'm okay with low budget sci-fi (and can understand cheesy effects for a movie that's micro-budget). One can also understand acting that's amateurish in these types of films. The real problem with this movie is it makes little sense. There's an opening scene prior to the beginning credits that... doesn't seem to connect with the rest of the film. Then the story moves to a ship of mercenaries are headed to a planet to get a substance needed to save Earth's sun (which is dying). On board, they have a Predator-like captive called a Dawnseeker, which is designed/bred(?) to kill all species that are different from it. Not surprisingly, the ship crashes and the mercenaries find themselves up against the Dawnseeker. Again, the effects are... bad (for example, the Dawnseeker has a rubber mask on that looks quite similar to a Predator). I won't mention anything else that happens so as not to spoil it for anyone brave enough to sit through it, but then it simply ends in a fairly confusing manner.
June 2021 Reviews:
Consumed: Includes 2 Bonus Movies
This is a 2 disc set with Consumed on the first disc and the two bonus movies (Jewel and Taking Back Our Town) on the second disc.
Consumed -- (6/10) -- A single mom who works at a local diner and is taking night classes discovers a rash on her young son that the doctors can't explain and medicine doesn't help with. She lives in a town that is essentially owned by a large corporation that specializes in genetically modified food. When she begins to suspect that GMO foods are the cause of her son's condition, she finds herself afoul of a large connected network that spans from the company to the local university, police agency, and even her friends. The lack of help and stress of the situation begins to test her mental health as she deals with a large scale conspiracy to cover up what may be going on with the corporation. Overall, this movie is decent. It has some high level actors (Danny Glover, Anthony Edwards, Griffin Dunne, Taylor Kinney) who do a solid job with the script. It does require some suspension of disbelief though (or at least an interest in conspiracy theories) to avoid cringing at times as it was definitely an agenda-driven film. So far of the Echo Bridge (includes 2 bonus movies) this is probably the best one I've watched.
Taking Back Our Town -- (5/10) -- This was a Made for TV movie from the Lifetime Network that was okay. It's based on a true story and is set in rural Louisiana. It focuses on a local teacher and a group of other townspeople who band together to combat a corporation attempting to bring in a new plant that will provide few jobs for the town but lots of potential pollution. The group finds pushback not only from the company, but also from their neighbors and state-wide politicians. Overall, there are some notable actors in the film and it was a decent watch.
Jewel -- (7/10) -- This movie focuses on a woman (supposedly in her early 40's) in the 1940's who has an unexpected child that is born with Down Syndrome. The movie stars Farrah Fawcett and really focuses more on her drive to give her child as normal a life as possible while also dealing with the family demands of all of her other four older children. It's a drama that's also made for TV (although I don't know what network). Overall, it was the one film in this set I was least interested in, and yet, it was easily the best movie of the bunch. Fawcett did a great job and overall this one was far more memorable than the other two films.
Family Bible Collection: The Power of the Resurrection with 3 Bonus Movies
This is a 4 film collection and all the movies are on a single disc.
I Beheld His Glory -- (5/10) -- If I recall correctly, this film (which is about an hour in length) features the first TV appearance of James Dean. The film focuses on a Roman centurion who is sent out to recount the last days of Christ's life. He finds a group of people eager to listen to his story and he goes through the events from the Last Supper to the Crucifixion. Overall, it was decent. The video quality is not that great -- I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it was simply a transfer from a VHS recording. Dean's role is pretty minor overall.
Hill Number One -- (5/10) -- This film is actually an episode of "Family Theater," which was originally a radio show started by Patrick Peyton (the priest who popularized the phrase, "the family that prays together stays together" back in the 1940's) that eventually became a television show. Anyways, this is set in the 1950's during the Korean War and begins with a wraparound story in which a company from the US Army are discussing the difficulties in taking one of the hills. When the company priest visit, he recounts the story of the first hill (referencing the hill of the Crucifixion). The story then transitions to a speculative account of the time period between the Crucifixion and the Resurrection. Again, the video quality isn't the best, but it was relatively entertaining.
Martin Luther -- (3/10) -- This was previously reviewed in February:
[Show spoiler]
This is a 1953 film that serves as a biographical account of a portion of Martin Luther's life. The quality of this particular release wasn't that good (although that's not to be unexpected considering there are four movies on the disc and it's from Echo Bridge) -- it's probably VHS level. It was certainly watchable and, while not terrible, the film was mostly boring. It's almost more of an acted out documentary than an actual biopic. There are lots of details of the specifics of his beliefs and how they differed from the Church at the time, but there was little in the film that delved into his character. Overall, I just didn't feel that this was a very engaging movie and I can't see ever wanting to re-watch it.
The Night Crew -- (6/10) -- I had very low expectations of this and found this thoroughly entertaining. The premise is a group of bounty hunters are sent to Mexico to retrieve a Chinese girl who has recently escaped from a cartel leader. After recovering her, they find themselves on the run from the forces of the cartel and end up pinned down in an abandoned motel. There, they find there's more to their captive than they expected. Overall, this was good -- I'm hopeful that the bluray will show up in a future wave.
Follow That Bird -- (5/10) -- I recall seeing this in the theater as a kid when it was first released and may not have seen it since. It was quite fun to re-visit. The premise is that Big Bird is given a new family to live with (the Dodos). When that doesn't work, he tries to find his way back to Sesame Street only to be captured by a traveling circus. His friends from Sesame Street set out to find him initially (and eventually to rescue him). Overall, it was pretty entertaining and there's a special feature of an interview with the actor behind Big Bird that was interesting.
Amazing Zorro / Treasure Island
Amazing Zorro(4/10) -- This is basically the story of Zorro. Overall, it was one of the weaker DIC movies that I've seen. It wasn't bad, but just not as good as several of the other films I've watched that DIC released around this time period that I've managed to pick up at Dollar Tree.
The Take Down -- (2/10) -- This movie is written and directed by David Newton, a career stunt man who has worked in some major motion pictures, and stars Jake Jagodka, another stunt man who has worked on some of those same movies. Honestly, the movie is an absolute mess. Jake is a hitman who botches his latest assignment (although the rationale is a bit odd) and finds himself on the run as a result. He attempts to get his family to safety (although it's not clear who is protecting them or their relationship to Jake), and finds himself the target of a number of assassination attempts. The majority of the movie is literally fight scenes in which he squares off with a would-be assassin and takes them down. The movie ends about as confusingly as it begins. I give it a 2 only because the action scenes are at least alright.