1. Yepz, the software (like PowerDVD, WinDVD) can be compared with the ''chipset'' of a stand-alone player, and de BD-rom drive as the drive in the player. (which is often a Sata player, like in a PC)
2. Dell PCs are indeed hard to mod, but replacing an optical drive is easy peasy, that's just standard stuff.

(harddisk too, when it dies, you can just walk to your local PC store, and buy a new Sata HDD.)
And about VLC:
Don't get me wrong, It's installed on my laptop and it's great for playing some exotic web formats without struggling with codecs and I-know-it-better players, but for DVDs I'm no fan of it.
But that's totally irrelevant considering the fact that VLC can't handle BD's, except for uncrypted M2TS files and you may cross your fingers then that it plays without hiccups etc.
Savvy?