Spoiler Warning: The Clone Wars reviews & reactions

[CRMA]

Saw this posted at www.joblo.com. It wasn't good, read for yourself.

Plot: In this CGI prequel to REVENGE OF THE SITH, Anakin Skywalker must rescue Jabba the Hut’s infant son from the clutches of the dark side in order to secure Jabba's political influence for the alliance.
Review: OH, THE HUMANITY!!! How I hated this poor excuse for a film! After seeing STAR WARS: REVENGE OF THE SITH, I figured that at long last the STAR WARS saga had come to an end. While I did not particularly enjoy the prequels- even at their worst the films still had their moments. As soon as this film was announced I expected the worst. It reeked of a greedy cash grab from George Lucas, and when I was assigned to review the film, I wasn't all that enthusiastic. So I went into the film with a bit of baggage but in my wildest dreams I never figured the film could be this bad.

How bad is it?

Let me put it this way: the film could not possibly be worse. If the filmmakers had just filmed Lucas flipping off the camera for two hours it would not be as bad as this film. Remember how much everyone hated Jar Jar Binks in THE PHANTOM MENACE? Jar Jar is like Han friggin' Solo compared to the new characters introduced in this film!




First, let's start with Anakin's new pre-teen sidekick - Ashoka Tano - who's like the Jedi equivalent of HANNAH MONTANA. Throughout the film, not only does she keep getting into trouble constantly while cracking bad jokes, but she repeatedly calls Skywalker, "Sky-guy". WTF? Is that was passes for comic relief in the STAR WARS universe. Sky-guy? What the hell is this, DEGRASSI HIGH? After she'd been onscreen for about three minutes I was already looking for the exit- but I decided to stick it out. Surely it can't get any worse, I foolishly thought to myself.
It did…

Meet Jabba's offspring, STINKY. Yep, Stinky. That's what they call him in the film. He's a baby version of Jabba, and spends the movie making funny faces and farting. That's right folks, STAR WARS now has fart jokes. Sounds pretty bad so far, right?

But wait...There's more. Turns out Jabba's got an evil, cross dressing, English speaking cousin who sounds suspiciously like Truman Capote. Once this character hit the screen, I honestly could not believe what I was seeing. For a second, I thought someone might have spiked my coffee with LSD, but alas, I was not high.




Another bad thing about this film is that, while Lucas & co. were able to get Christopher Lee & Samuel L. Jackson to lend their voices to the film, they were not able to get Frank Oz so the whole film we have to listen to a wrong sounding Yoda. I couldn't care less that Ewan McGregor & Hayden Christensen didn't voice their characters but Yoda?! C'mon George, cut him a check!
Obviously, John Williams is also absent in this outing, and in his pace they hired a hack named Kevin Kilner to re-orchestrate his themes. By re-orchestrate I mean that Kilner adds wanking heavy metal guitar solo's during the action scenes. Which is great because I don’t know about you, but I always thought the original trilogy would have been better if it had been scored by Whitesnake.

Suffice to say I did not enjoy this travesty of a film. It makes the two eighties EWOK movies look like THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK in comparison. Easily the worst film of 2008 so far. George Lucas should be ashamed. Also, if people think I'm being overly harsh on a film designed for kids, I should note that the screening I was at was full of kids, and they were all restless or sleeping by the time the film was over.

[bigMacDaddyBLU]

Originally Posted by CRMA

Saw this posted at www.joblo.com. It wasn't good, read for yourself.

Plot: In this CGI prequel to REVENGE OF THE SITH, Anakin Skywalker must rescue Jabba the Hut’s infant son from the clutches of the dark side in order to secure Jabba's political influence for the alliance.
Review: OH, THE HUMANITY!!! How I hated this poor excuse for a film! After seeing STAR WARS: REVENGE OF THE SITH, I figured that at long last the STAR WARS saga had come to an end. While I did not particularly enjoy the prequels- even at their worst the films still had their moments. As soon as this film was announced I expected the worst. It reeked of a greedy cash grab from George Lucas, and when I was assigned to review the film, I wasn't all that enthusiastic. So I went into the film with a bit of baggage but in my wildest dreams I never figured the film could be this bad.

How bad is it?

Let me put it this way: the film could not possibly be worse. If the filmmakers had just filmed Lucas flipping off the camera for two hours it would not be as bad as this film. Remember how much everyone hated Jar Jar Binks in THE PHANTOM MENACE? Jar Jar is like Han friggin' Solo compared to the new characters introduced in this film!




First, let's start with Anakin's new pre-teen sidekick - Ashoka Tano - who's like the Jedi equivalent of HANNAH MONTANA. Throughout the film, not only does she keep getting into trouble constantly while cracking bad jokes, but she repeatedly calls Skywalker, "Sky-guy". WTF? Is that was passes for comic relief in the STAR WARS universe. Sky-guy? What the hell is this, DEGRASSI HIGH? After she'd been onscreen for about three minutes I was already looking for the exit- but I decided to stick it out. Surely it can't get any worse, I foolishly thought to myself.
It did…

Meet Jabba's offspring, STINKY. Yep, Stinky. That's what they call him in the film. He's a baby version of Jabba, and spends the movie making funny faces and farting. That's right folks, STAR WARS now has fart jokes. Sounds pretty bad so far, right?

But wait...There's more. Turns out Jabba's got an evil, cross dressing, English speaking cousin who sounds suspiciously like Truman Capote. Once this character hit the screen, I honestly could not believe what I was seeing. For a second, I thought someone might have spiked my coffee with LSD, but alas, I was not high.




Another bad thing about this film is that, while Lucas & co. were able to get Christopher Lee & Samuel L. Jackson to lend their voices to the film, they were not able to get Frank Oz so the whole film we have to listen to a wrong sounding Yoda. I couldn't care less that Ewan McGregor & Hayden Christensen didn't voice their characters but Yoda?! C'mon George, cut him a check!
Obviously, John Williams is also absent in this outing, and in his pace they hired a hack named Kevin Kilner to re-orchestrate his themes. By re-orchestrate I mean that Kilner adds wanking heavy metal guitar solo's during the action scenes. Which is great because I don’t know about you, but I always thought the original trilogy would have been better if it had been scored by Whitesnake.

Suffice to say I did not enjoy this travesty of a film. It makes the two eighties EWOK movies look like THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK in comparison. Easily the worst film of 2008 so far. George Lucas should be ashamed. Also, if people think I'm being overly harsh on a film designed for kids, I should note that the screening I was at was full of kids, and they were all restless or sleeping by the time the film was over.

that's dumb....

[CRMA]

yeah, that was pretty bad.

[Marine Mike]

The greatest part about it is that I bet for them to increase Blu-Ray sales of this title they'll add one kicker to it, to rule them all.

Bonus Features:
-First Look at Original Trilogy on Blu-Ray

[jurassic_pork]

wow, i had not seen the score but the brother didnt even give it a 1 (got a big fat 0 of 10).

[Lucy Diamond]

Originally Posted by jurassic_pork

wow, i had not seen the score but the brother didnt even give it a 1 (got a big fat 0 of 10).

Damn man...it's like just being StarWars isn't enough anymore.

I never thought George would make it difficult to be a StarWars fan.

Stinky the Hutt!?!??! Are you f'ing kidding me!??!!?

Thank you Mr. Review person for putting an extra $10.50 in my pocket.


Maaaaaaaaaan...and I used to make such FUN of Star Trek people.

[CYMBOL]

Originally Posted by Marine Mike

The greatest part about it is that I bet for them to increase Blu-Ray sales of this title they'll add one kicker to it, to rule them all.

Bonus Features:
-First Look at Original Trilogy on Blu-Ray

Wow, good call Mike.

[jk1138]

It was not as bad as this guy is saying, but I agree 100% with Zero the Hutt, that was by far the worst thing ever in any Star Wars. The rest is acceplable as it is a KIDS MOVIE, and not ment to be anything more. There are parts that adults are not going to like, but kids will love.

[jurassic_pork]

Originally Posted by CRMA

Saw this posted at www.joblo.com. It wasn't good, read for yourself.

Plot: In this CGI prequel to REVENGE OF THE SITH, Anakin Skywalker must rescue Jabba the Hut’s infant son from the clutches of the dark side in order to secure Jabba's political influence for the alliance.
Review: OH, THE HUMANITY!!! How I hated this poor excuse for a film! After seeing STAR WARS: REVENGE OF THE SITH, I figured that at long last the STAR WARS saga had come to an end. While I did not particularly enjoy the prequels- even at their worst the films still had their moments. As soon as this film was announced I expected the worst. It reeked of a greedy cash grab from George Lucas, and when I was assigned to review the film, I wasn't all that enthusiastic. So I went into the film with a bit of baggage but in my wildest dreams I never figured the film could be this bad.

How bad is it?

Let me put it this way: the film could not possibly be worse. If the filmmakers had just filmed Lucas flipping off the camera for two hours it would not be as bad as this film. Remember how much everyone hated Jar Jar Binks in THE PHANTOM MENACE? Jar Jar is like Han friggin' Solo compared to the new characters introduced in this film!




First, let's start with Anakin's new pre-teen sidekick - Ashoka Tano - who's like the Jedi equivalent of HANNAH MONTANA. Throughout the film, not only does she keep getting into trouble constantly while cracking bad jokes, but she repeatedly calls Skywalker, "Sky-guy". WTF? Is that was passes for comic relief in the STAR WARS universe. Sky-guy? What the hell is this, DEGRASSI HIGH? After she'd been onscreen for about three minutes I was already looking for the exit- but I decided to stick it out. Surely it can't get any worse, I foolishly thought to myself.
It did…

Meet Jabba's offspring, STINKY. Yep, Stinky. That's what they call him in the film. He's a baby version of Jabba, and spends the movie making funny faces and farting. That's right folks, STAR WARS now has fart jokes. Sounds pretty bad so far, right?

But wait...There's more. Turns out Jabba's got an evil, cross dressing, English speaking cousin who sounds suspiciously like Truman Capote. Once this character hit the screen, I honestly could not believe what I was seeing. For a second, I thought someone might have spiked my coffee with LSD, but alas, I was not high.




Another bad thing about this film is that, while Lucas & co. were able to get Christopher Lee & Samuel L. Jackson to lend their voices to the film, they were not able to get Frank Oz so the whole film we have to listen to a wrong sounding Yoda. I couldn't care less that Ewan McGregor & Hayden Christensen didn't voice their characters but Yoda?! C'mon George, cut him a check!
Obviously, John Williams is also absent in this outing, and in his pace they hired a hack named Kevin Kilner to re-orchestrate his themes. By re-orchestrate I mean that Kilner adds wanking heavy metal guitar solo's during the action scenes. Which is great because I don’t know about you, but I always thought the original trilogy would have been better if it had been scored by Whitesnake.

Suffice to say I did not enjoy this travesty of a film. It makes the two eighties EWOK movies look like THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK in comparison. Easily the worst film of 2008 so far. George Lucas should be ashamed. Also, if people think I'm being overly harsh on a film designed for kids, I should note that the screening I was at was full of kids, and they were all restless or sleeping by the time the film was over.

this confirms my greatest fears......oh what has hapenned to my Star Wars

[stockstar1138]

saw it last night. paid for a ticket for the actual movie, like i said i wasn't. it was on the mega screen and they always check tickets, so no getting around it.

ill start this review off with a disclaimer. i am a huge star wars fan. i am a star wars purist. i watch the original theatrical version in letterbox 16:9 over the nice cleaned up CGI special editions. that is my feelings about star wars.

my review starts off with the settings in itself. i watched this movie at 9:50 on a friday night in st. louis, mo. they always check tickets for the mega screen like i said, there was nobody checking tickets. how odd i thought. then i walked into the 500 seat autotorium and to my suprise there was about 20 people there and i only got there 10 min. before the film started.

im just going to list the pros and cons of this movie to keep this relatively short.

- the battle sequences were awesome. i absolutely loved them and i have to say they were on a bigger scale and better done then in any of the movies, they reminded me much of the critically acclaimed star wars anime cartoon series that was on cartoon network a few years ago. i just wish this movie would have been nothing but battles taking place, because unfortunately that is about the only thing i found good about this movie. luckily quite a bit of time was spent showing battles.

-clones were cool.

neutral

- the score. i knew going in this wasn't going to be john williams, which of course is disappointing. id heard there was techno music in it, guitar solos in it and i expected the absolute worse. in all reality it wasn't bad at all. there were some things that were a little mixed up from the live action movies, but nothing that was bad. there were a few times in which i thought the music didn't fit the mood. that was my only complaint.

- battle CGI. it seemed like the CGI in the battles was stepped up quite a bit from other scenes. it def. wasn't as good as it could be, but i would argue it was up there with some non-pixar films. far from Final Fantasy though, which would have been a lot cooler. i realize this is actually a tv show, not a movie and that gives it some forgivness points too.

- bodily function humor. only one burp, fart or poop in the whole film, which i thought was pretty good. i had excpected more.

Cons

- the dialogue was absolutely horridenous. i know star wars is supposed to have cheesey, over the top, scruffy looking nerf herder dialogue and ive actually always kind of like it. this was just flat out bad. from battle droids counting the number of enemies, to master yodas over the top and at some points incoherrent backwards speech, to asohka it was all real, real, real bad. there are so many quotable bad lines from this movie its not even funny....actually it is and i spent the next hour repeating ridiculous lines with my friends after we saw it. there is a cringe worthy line every 2 min. in this movie, no joke.

- the story. look i know this is for kids, but so are movies like ratatouille, wall-e, kung fu panda, horton, madagascar, ice age, etc and the story was just so underdeveloped and so linear and pointless i could care less about it. it wasn't compellinng at all, it was beyond basic and beyond dumb. i could think of 1000 different plot lines in the clone wars to talk about then rescuing Stinky the Hutt. I mean there was a point where jabba hired jedi to find stinky, the jedi found him, dooku showed him that the jedi had stinky, but that the jedi were the ones who kidnapped him and jabba just bought it and was like "JEDI GOOJOO!" obi-wan leaves jabbas palace and dooku walks in right as obi-wan leaves and its just like, wouldn' have obi-wan sensed a FREAKIN SITH LORD!!! it wasn't thought out well at all.

- the characters. ummmmm....is this the same anakin we saw in the rest of the saga? i don't think so. he is rational, unemotional, responsible and thinks things through. anakin also seems to have little abilities with the force. we never once see him use it in a jaw dropping way like when he jumped out of the speeder in ep. II, now he freaks out about a wall falling down that has a big hole right where he is standing. oh yeah he is also wrong about half a dozen times in this movie, which in the live action movies he seems to always be right....except about his faith in the dark side of the force now what makes anakin constantly having to be corrected about doing the wrong thing even worse. is its not obi-wan who is doing the correcting. its asokha who is in fact my new most hated character in the star wars universe. this little smart ass padawan is full of cheesey dialogue, i know better than Anakin "Sky Guy" Skywalker and I don't even know what else, she is annoying and a bad, bad, bad character. i hate her, i want her to die ASAP so we can get on to some good tv shows. words cannot describe how much i hate her. Obi-wan is not a negotiator, he just stalls the enemy until reinforments arrive. yoda sucked for dialogue reasons. the clones were good, i liked them. the battle droids were dumber than ever, so many dumb things im not even going to list them. stinky the hutt is well a baby hutt, who just moos and purrs the whole way though, never really cared if he lived or died. and then there is ziro the hutt. oh ziro, you are not as bad as ashoka or jar jar, but you are a bad, bad, bad character. i mean its a big purple, ghey, feather wearing hutt that sounds like truman capote. i have nothing against ghey people, they just should just not be adding sexuality into a hutt imo, that is all. oh yeah, hutts speak huttese too, not english (ill get back to this later). r2 can now fly miles across valleys too with his boosters.

- minor inconsitancies. ummmm....i thought the clone wars were about the heroics of skywalker and kenobi, because by the looks of things, it should be about ashoka and skywalker, with ashoka being the better jedi, because IMO she was a better jedi than skywalker in this movie. she took out 3 magna guards by herself, it took both anakin and obi-wan to take out 2 in episode III i belive. jabbas power is another one. his power now stretches across the entire outer rim. i don't understand, maybe its cause i don't read all the books, but i have never pictured jabba as that important. i mean they say in ep. I that the hutts control tattoine and thats why they don't want to go there, but they are cool going to many other outer rim planets that supposedly the hutts all have power over now + their trade routes? and if the hutts have power all over the outer rim, why wouldn't they be at war with whoever tried to take power of the outer rim in the clone wars??? it just doesn't make sense, maybe im not getting something though.

- CGI, character animations, environments, all bad. i know its a tv show, but the surface of tatooine looks no better than it does in the original KOTOR for the last-gen xbox.

- subtitles (or lack there of). supposedly kids don't like subtitles in movies now. so instead we have to hear jabba grumble and then a protocol droid translate EVERYTHING HE SAYS!!!! it adds a lot of unnesscary time to this movie and really got on my nerves. the only thing worse than not adding subtitles is having the hutts speak flat out english....like truman capote.

thats my review. i give The Clone Wars a 3/10....and to enthusisits, no it is not as bad as the holiday special. it was actually better than i had expected, but it still was very bad.

[cj-kent]

I just got home from taking my two daughters to see Clone Wars. Their responses should be standard for how good this movie is. They loved it. Everything they wanted to see in a Star Wars movie was there. All of the characters they love. All of the cool lightsabers and stretchy stars (oddly absent from all three prequel movies). They were completely thrilled. As for me, I'm a bit of a Star Wars purist myself. I prefer the unaltered original versions of the original trilogy. I don't however, place this movie in the league with the live-action films. It does fit very well in the realm of the clone wars cartoon network played a few years ago. After reading bashing review after bashing review, I'm wondering what everyone was really expecting from this movie. It is a KID's film and as such it is completely successful. Any adult that goes in there without a child with him or her has entered the theater for wrong reasons and with the wrong expectations.

Kids will love this and it will make lots of money (at least in the home theater realm). It will launch whatever television show (for KIDS) Lucas has in mind and that will be successful too. It will also, with any luck, bring to market the thing all of us really want out of this, the Trilogies on Blu!

So buy your family some tickets and help the cause!

[CYMBOL]

Originally Posted by CRMA

Meet Jabba's offspring, STINKY. Yep, Stinky. That's what they call him in the film. He's a baby version of Jabba, and spends the movie making funny faces and farting. That's right folks, STAR WARS now has fart jokes. Sounds pretty bad so far, right?

Hmmm, guess he missed the parts in Phantom Menace where Jar Jar steps in poo, and the part where he's get farted on by some animal.

It was over for me with the Phantom Menace.


After lines like:

• "You were banished because you were clumsy?"
• "I'll try spinning, that's a good trick!"
• "Yippee!!!"

You know, I won't bother posting more cause I just don't have the time to list them all.

I knew this was just for kids to get a new generation of merchandising in. Sure there were some cool scenes, but eye candy with no soul just leaves you feeling empty. Even my love for the original trilogy just isn't the same. Lucas finally squashed it out of me.

[stockstar1138]

that review had me rofling. this is gonna be so bad, im seeing it tonight.

read the last line too George Lucas, i know you have said many of times you make the movies for the kids: THE KIDS THINK THEY SUCK TOO!!!

[Woody]

"Sky guy"?
"Stinky"?
and noone voicing their characters..................

Hello rock bottom, nice to meet you.

[bhampton]

I can't understand this.

Those clone wars cartoons that were on TV and then DVD were fun enough I thought.

But, this new stuff looks so amazingly bad I just can't understand it.

Sounds like it's worse than it looks... This is sad.

The only thing I can see is they want to kill off any interest in star wars by making fun of anyone who will go to see this type of thing.

-Brian

P.s. Any word on when I can get this on Blu Ray?

[stockstar1138]

i feel dumb for actually thinking this was going to be good.

the clone wars cartoons on CN had me beilving, cause those were sweet but man, this sucks.

[frank_t]

without reading past the 1st couple of posts....

lucas has really screwed up. as if he couldn't leave well enough alone with indy (cripes, they rode off into the sunset in the 3rd movie!), along comes this travesty.

i will certainly purchase Ep IV..VI and probably the 1st three since they will most likely be a boxed set when they arrive (god those 1st three were bad, but i guess to complete the "saga" I'll purchase them and do the usual chapter-skip to what's worth watching, which isn't much)

oh well. i'm sure this new crapola will have it's fans. to each their own...

[obiwopkenobi62]

Originally Posted by STARSCREAM

Few things here. First, I'm as big a star wars fan as their is but some of you guys that defend, defend, defend whatever george puts out need to open up and pull the wool outta your eyes. It has taken me all the way until now but I am finally starting to see the light, George is putting out sh*t...plain and simple. I also agree that the "it's for kids" is a gigantic copout wad of bullsh*t. The orignal trilogy and prequel trilogy are kids movies at heart and George says they are for kids. Those are how d*mn awesome movies. Although the prequels (particularly phantom menace) have alot of fart jokes and other really kiddie crap that was too much over the top for Star Wars. I'm just sick of all the toning it down to make it seem like Star Wars is for 4 year olds (this goes for other movies as well). I used to defend anything that had the Star Wars name attached to it and would try to justify things or talk myself outta not liking certain things even though deep down I knew I didn't like it. I defended it no matter what but .......NOT ANYMORE. I'm sick of it. If it's bullsh*t I'm calling it bullsh*t. There is absolutely no sense it making stuff like this Clone Wars movie like it is. Think back to when you first saw the original Star Wars (A New Hope) and heard leai talk about obi wan serving her father in the clone wars. EVERYBODY was like wow, whats that and I bet it was awesome. Now look at what we get to explain the wars.... Rant over, stepping off soap box to go watch original trilogy to remember just how good Star Wars IS and CAN BE.

I agree with you 100%. I've been a big fan since '77 and have a huge collection, but I'm not going to see this. I may check it out when it comes on T.V.. George Lucas has completely lost it. From what I've heard so far with reviews I'm turned off, I mean more fart jokes and a lame looking Hutt. WTF?
I also stopped collecting about a year ago. It is no longer fun for me and the figures look like crap. I get more enjoyment with watching the original trilogy and displaying my vintage items.
Someone needs to step up and slap the shit out of George.

[obiwopkenobi62]

Originally Posted by charlie swords

i wont defend everything the man does, he has made some really poor decisions but im also not so jaded that i cant find some good in things he does or approves.

also remember the series will have different writers and different directors for the episodes so im sure some will better than others. and he always has the upcoming live action series as a chance to redeem himself. but im sure people complain about that too. hell he could make a shot for shot remake of ANH and someone would find a reason to complain. You cant please all the people all the time, it seems some people just cant accept that his vision (however flawed it maybe at times) has changed since '77.

and despite how people make it seem this movie is not 90 minutes of a gay looking hutt farting.

All I can say is how would you feel if Lucas decided to ad some farts or lame looking Hutts to A New Hope and call it the super duper edition. Maybe he could even get Steven Segal to be a super jedi and use his signature raspy voice. Maybe he could have Obiwan call Luke Sky guy a few times for good measure.
If this is any indication of the future of Star Wars, then the Live action show will suck too. Remember everything that Lucas has put on T.V. has pretty much sucked.
Damn, what's next Star Wars The Musical?

[charlie swords]

Originally Posted by obiwopkenobi62

All I can say is how would you feel if Lucas decided to ad some farts or lame looking Hutts to A New Hope and call it the super duper edition. Maybe he could even get Steven Segal to be a super jedi and use his signature raspy voice. Maybe he could have Obiwan call Luke Sky guy a few times for good measure.
If this is any indication of the future of Star Wars, then the Live action show will suck too. Remember everything that Lucas has put on T.V. has pretty much sucked.
Damn, what's next Star Wars The Musical?

your optimism is staggering...

he can do whatever he wants...they're his movies and i have the option to watch it or not. If i watch it and like it than good if i dont then i dont have to watch it again. There is no reason to get so worked up and complain about it if i dont like it...its not like he kicked my dog. but everyone can voice there own opinion thats what the internet is for, that and porn...

and i believe i said earlier the sky guy thing was stupid.