Starcrash

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Starcrash Blu-ray

StarCrash Blu-ray Review

All-Movie Guide

Italian schlock-master Luigi Cozzi (billed as Lewis Coates here) directed this low-budget Star Wars rip-off in 1978, right when the sci-fi craze was hitting audiences on a world-wide scale. The story begins familiarly enough, with a huge spaceship tracking through an extremely colorful space scene while under attack by some kind of unknown and deadly force resembling a lava lamp. Being no match for the '60s acid-flashback rays, they manage to jettison a few escape pods just before being blown to kingdom come. Fast forward now to the other end of the galaxy, where we find the best smugglers in town -- gorgeous Stella Star (Caroline Munro) and space-pimp Akton (Marjoe Gortner) -- outrunning a band of cops on their tail. Eventually, they're caught, taken into custody, and sentenced to intense Labor Camps, where Stella is forced to wear a skimpy Barbarella-like outfit by the extreme, merciless guards. A break-out ensues, and in the intense laser shoot-out, Stella manages to escape, only to be captured again by the semi-green-skinned Thor (Robert Tessier) and his annoying southern-drawled robot, Elle (voiced by genre veteran Hamilton Camp). Brought in front of the Emperor of the Galaxy (Christopher Plummer) and reunited with Akton, the sexy duo find themselves suddenly in charge of finding Prince Simon (David Hasselhoff). Thus begins the heroes' amazing adventure through space and time as they search for Hasselhoff and end up fighting Amazons, Cavemen, and the Evil Count Zarth Arn (Joe Spinell) along the way. ~ Jeremy Wheeler

One of my favourite Italian sci-fi oddball movies is coming to blu ray in September. Starcrash, a 1979 science fiction rip-off of Star Wars, is one of the most mind-numbing experiences you can go through as a film viewer. The plot is thread bare, the special effects make you want to want to make your own special effects just so you don't have to watch these ones again and the acting! Oy!

Nowhere else in the film-making spectrum could you get a guy from the cast of the Godfather, Christopher Plummer and David Hasselhoff in the same film? Most laws of filming and, indeed of physics get ignored and in the end you feel like killing most of the cast.

Why then, would you watch it?

Because the film goes along at a gleeful pace, never slowing down for anyone and anything like a story arch or explanation. The cast are all on autopilot, reading their lines like they're following a cooking recipe. And Christopher Plummer, Jesus! I know every actor has phoned in a performance at one time or another but I never thought he could. But he does and we should be glad he does as him on a bad day is better than the ENTIRE CAST PUT TOGETHER. Also the special effects are just. plain. funny. There's nothing else I can say about them.

For years the only way to see this film was on shoddy DVD versions that were poor at best and dire at worst. I, myself, own a French sourced DVD that has the original (the only thing original about the movie) English language track and on the other bonus disc a copy of "Starcrash 2". At least it says it's Starcrash 2 but I tell you nothing looks the same on the second disc. And the fact that there's no English track doesn't help matters.

I for one, thank Shout Factory! for taking the challenge of bringing Starcrash to blu ray. While I'm not expecting a miracle from them in terms of PQ and AQ, it will be nice to finally shelve my French DVD, permanently. With some of the "Roger Corman's Cult Classics" line getting raised eyebrows from some quarters in terms of "why restore this film?", I guarantee that Starcrash will test their patience. Not me however.

More info can be gleaned from the Wiki article. And for the truly brave, my friend Jeff recorded a podcast entirely devoted to this film on his site. He pretty much ruins the plot of the movie but this is not a film that you should want cliffhangers from, IMO.

Check out this movie. If you don't feel like parting with your money, then US readers should at least Netflix it.

Just get drunk first to get the full effect.