Tips for my semi-complicated relationship with female friend...lol

[bmsmcr]

Alright, so this feels kind of odd but this matter has been consuming my mind and I figure it's always good to get opinions on matters, right?! So there is this girl who I am friends with, we go to college together which is where we spend most of our time. We met in high school during my senior year and became close friends. Well, I started to like her, as in "like" like her. I told her that I did. Needless to say, our final high school years were off a bit, she got in with the wrong crowd, liked a bunch of *******s for some reason, and our friendship took a hit. But she eventually broke out of that. When college started up we became friends again and now see each other a lot at the college. BUT, she has a boyfriend, so that's just something I have to deal with. He's not in town a lot so he's not around all of the time. I feel like whenever we are together there is this underlying tension going on though from our past "ventures". There is just this look...like when we make eye contact, I don't know how to explain it. Most of my other friends have moved for college so she's really the only person I talk to in town. I want to have her as a friend but I'm afraid that if I make any attempt to hang out with her that she'll think I still like her and am trying "something", which is not the case, I just want a friend to hang with! Would it be inappropriate to ask her to like get lunch sometimes casually or come over to play games or watch movies? Like are there certain activities that would make her feel comfortable with it all? And I'm pretty sure her current boyfriend knows I liked her, which also worries me...I DON'T KNOW. I just want to make sure I'm not stepping over a line here. Thanks for reading and any advice or comments would be greatly appreciated...

[HyperRealist]

Why do people think a Blu-ray forum is a good place to ask for love advice?

[King Troll]

hmmmm.....yes

[RicketyCricket]

So you liked-liked her last year and you just want to be friends now? Why, what changed?

And you can hang out with her, if you step over a line, she'll let you know.

[HyperRealist]

challenge her boyfriend to a duel

[bmsmcr]

Originally Posted by HyperRealist

Why do people think a Blu-ray forum is a good place to ask for love advice?

I don't know who else to ask, my friends are too concerned with themselves to listen lol

[bmsmcr]

Originally Posted by RicketyCricket

So you liked-liked her last year and you just want to be friends now? Why, what changed?

And you can hang out with her, if you step over a line, she'll let you know.

Well she got a boyfriend and I've since had a girlfriend so I've moved on from that.

[bhampton]

Originally Posted by HyperRealist

challenge her boyfriend to a duel

Good one.

Here's the deal

1st you got friend zoned. And friend zoned at this point is all you can hope for, there's no going back

2nd You can't do the just want to be friends thing if secretly you hope that's going to change back to she wants you. So you make eyes at her and it freaks her out.

3rd if you don't just want to be her pansy....move on.

[ultlife2013]

Originally Posted by HyperRealist

challenge her boyfriend to a duel

With swords or...

[wormraper]

move on, it may not seem like it but there's plenty of fish in the sea.

[MaCruz]

Originally Posted by HyperRealist

Why do people think a Blu-ray forum is a good place to ask for love advice?

The one quesiton that's never asked on here would be.... show us some pictures!

[Nielsb90]

Originally Posted by bhampton

Good one.

Here's the deal

1st you got friend zoned. And friend zoned at this point is all you can hope for, there's no going back

2nd You can't do the just want to be friends thing if secretly you hope that's going to change back to she wants you. So you make eyes at her and it freaks her out.

3rd if you don't just want to be her pansy....move on.

Originally Posted by wormraper

move on, it may not seem like it but there's plenty of fish in the sea.

If we are to believe that he just wants to be her friend I see no reason to move on.. I have a few female friends and that works just fine! One of them is my former flirt - it can work out no problem.. Yes, you can ask her out for lunch.

[bhampton]

Originally Posted by Nielsb90

If we are to believe that he just wants to be her friend I see no reason to move on.. I have a few female friends and that works just fine! One of them is my former flirt - it can work out no problem.. Yes, you can ask her out for lunch.

I am there too... One of my best friends could have been something else at one point. However, that's part of a larger circle of close friends or I would have cut ties.

Its ultimately a relationship based on what ifs that never happen.

There's an outside chance that she will be mauled by wild animals or disfigured in an industrial accident and then the tides of sympathy could shift but who wants to wait on stuff like that.

[Josh B]

Originally Posted by bmsmcr

Alright, so this feels kind of odd but this matter has been consuming my mind and I figure it's always good to get opinions on matters, right?! So there is this girl who I am friends with, we go to college together which is where we spend most of our time. We met in high school during my senior year and became close friends.

Well, I started to like her, as in "like" like her. I told her that I did. Needless to say, our final high school years were off a bit, she got in with the wrong crowd, liked a bunch of *******s for some reason, and our friendship took a hit. But she eventually broke out of that. When college started up we became friends again and now see each other a lot at the college. BUT, she has a boyfriend, so that's just something I have to deal with.


He's not in town a lot so he's not around all of the time. I feel like whenever we are together there is this underlying tension going on though from our past "ventures". There is just this look...like when we make eye contact, I don't know how to explain it. Most of my other friends have moved for college so she's really the only person I talk to in town. I want to have her as a friend but I'm afraid that if I make any attempt to hang out with her that she'll think I still like her and am trying "something", which is not the case, I just want a friend to hang with!


Would it be inappropriate to ask her to like get lunch sometimes casually or come over to play games or watch movies? Like are there certain activities that would make her feel comfortable with it all? And I'm pretty sure her current boyfriend knows I liked her, which also worries me...I DON'T KNOW. I just want to make sure I'm not stepping over a line here. Thanks for reading and any advice or comments would be greatly appreciated...

Who are you trying to fool, us or yourself? /rhet

[bmsmcr]

Originally Posted by Nielsb90

If we are to believe that he just wants to be her friend I see no reason to move on.. I have a few female friends and that works just fine! One of them is my former flirt - it can work out no problem.. Yes, you can ask her out for lunch.

THANK YOU. I do seriously just want to be friends with her, I don't have any hopes for more then that.

[thrillmygorilla]

Just walk away.

[neoz]

Originally Posted by HyperRealist

Why do people think a Blu-ray forum is a good place to ask for love advice?

haha this thread feels like it belongs in 4chan.

Originally Posted by wormraper

move on, it may not seem like it but there's plenty of fish in the sea.

Originally Posted by thrillmygorilla

Just walk away.

I agree move one. Your only going to complicate things more because you still have feelings for her even though you are in a relationship yourself. That isn't fair your girlfriend. She is in a relationship too and needs to focus on her boyfriend. You being there while he isn't is a good thing. Sure girls have friends that are boys all the time but it's hard enough we he is gone that he was to worry about that crap. Not saying you would do anything but being in the military and being deployed things like that happen.

I would just you move on but stay in contact. Work on your relationship and if either of your relationship don't turn out then if you still want her then go after her.

[bmsmcr]

Originally Posted by neoz

haha this thread feels like it belongs in 4chan.





I agree move one. Your only going to complicate things more because you still have feelings for her even though you are in a relationship yourself. That isn't fair your girlfriend. She is in a relationship too and needs to focus on her boyfriend. You being there while he isn't is a good thing. Sure girls have friends that are boys all the time but it's hard enough we he is gone that he was to worry about that crap. Not saying you would do anything but being in the military and being deployed things like that happen.

I would just you move on but stay in contact. Work on your relationship and if either of your relationship don't turn out then if you still want her then go after her.

I'm not in a relationship myself at this point in time. I wouldn't even consider hanging out with her if I had a GF cause like you said, it would just complicate things.

[Edh63]

Originally Posted by HyperRealist

Why do people think a Blu-ray forum is a good place to ask for love advice?

... And yet, here you are giving advice. I guess you answered your own question.

[UK_fan_05]

Originally Posted by bmsmcr

I'm not in a relationship myself at this point in time. I wouldn't even consider hanging out with her if I had a GF cause like you said, it would just complicate things.

Reverse the roles and I think you have your answer. If you feel that way, maybe you have to assume she would feel that way too and you wouldn't want to complicate things for her would you?