The Wife (or Girlfriend) Factor - Blu-ray Forum

BRu-LAy · 11-19-2009, 10:49 PM

Sometimes as I go through the threads and posts throughout the site, I see people putting things like

".....hope my wife will approve this"

"......my wife isn't going to like that I bought this"

".......selling/trading these movies because the wife told me to"

etc.....

Guys, primarily you married ones......what is your take on this? Are your wives in control in this way? I'm getting married in a few months, and so I may/may not be headed this way.

Clark Kent · 11-19-2009, 10:59 PM

Let me ask Lois if I am allowed to post an honest answer to this question.

Hammie · 11-19-2009, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BRu-LAy

Sometimes as I go through the threads and posts throughout the site, I see people putting things like

".....hope my wife will approve this"

"......my wife isn't going to like that I bought this"

".......selling/trading these movies because the wife told me to"

etc.....

Guys, primarily you married ones......what is your take on this? Are your wives in control in this way? I'm getting married in a few months, and so I may/may not be headed this way.

Marriage in general is about compromises, including a shared HT room. If you get a dedicated room, you may be better off. But when it comes to decorations, spending money, and room layout, 9/10 times you need to get acceptance from the significant other. (Sometimes just to make them feel like they are in control of the situation.

)

Mubbly · 11-19-2009, 11:08 PM

I think half of them say that for a joke. My wife doesn't really care what I do in regards to blu-rays and HT. Although, I'd love to put my system in our spare room - not the living room. Can't get her to agree with me on that, but that's OK.

I would be careful about boss-wives(see John & Kate). It never turns out good..

There should be a lot of compromises for each other, out of love. I'm sure she has her hobbies, as do we.

Moefiz · 11-19-2009, 11:47 PM

Its all about staying with in the budget that you have, when you have kids and mortgage to pay sometime you need the voice of reason to bring you back to reality...

BRu-LAy · 11-19-2009, 11:58 PM

Thanks for your input. I remember on one of the trade/sell threads someone was getting rid of their stuff because the wife didn't approve of its content.

Luckily, I'm marrying a girl who won't be as controlling.

Bizdady · 11-20-2009, 12:14 AM

Run away!! lol jk

SDBlu · 11-20-2009, 01:03 AM

It all varies on a case by case basis. My wife supports me in my HT hobby as long as I keep it within reason. Someone else mentioned compromise and that is also necessary. Priorities and budgets have to be set. I have a wife and two boys and they come first for me. After the family and bills are taken care of...with the $$ left over, then come the BLU's

Psychonaut · 11-20-2009, 01:33 AM

Mine breaks my balls about buying stuff so I have to buy in a constant trickle. If I make a mass purchase (usually made with music), I get *****ed out. I'd really rather she hit me in the balls than reach that octave with her voice but oh well.

Uniquely · 11-20-2009, 01:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BRu-LAy

Guys, primarily you married ones......what is your take on this? Are your wives in control in this way? I'm getting married in a few months, and so I may/may not be headed this way.

It's not a control thing. It's about realizing that financial decisions need to be shared and agreed upon; and realizing that your partner's priorities may not be exactly the same as yours, so compromises will definitely be in order at times.

Steve · 11-20-2009, 01:40 AM

I agree that I think alot of guys post that kind of stuff as a joke. For me it's just a matter of not going crazy spending a ton of money we don't have. For the most part we like the same movies, but if you look through my listed blu-ray collection you'll undoubtedly be able to pick out a couple that are hers which I don't really care for.

Jwilly019 · 11-20-2009, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fireman325

I agree that I think alot of guys post that kind of stuff as a joke. For me it's just a matter of not going crazy spending a ton of money we don't have. For the most part we like the same movies, but if you look through my listed blu-ray collection you'll undoubtedly be able to pick out a couple that are hers which I don't really care for.

You mean to tell me that you don't like Twilight?

Deadset · 11-20-2009, 01:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BRu-LAy

Guys, primarily you married ones......what is your take on this? Are your wives in control in this way? I'm getting married in a few months, and so I may/may not be headed this way.

It's all about choosing your battles. They don't control you, you don't control them, it's a give n take. When you get married you share everything, and make decisions together not separate.

mj79 · 11-20-2009, 01:49 AM

After being engaged, owning a house and being a carpenter, ive learned when a woman wants a specific sized house , then you just have to add another 50% square footage for yourself.. that will give you all the room in the garage you will ever need, and that should also give you an extra 2-3 rooms in a house all to yourself as well

Lord_Stewie · 11-20-2009, 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BRu-LAy

Sometimes as I go through the threads and posts throughout the site, I see people putting things like

".....hope my wife will approve this"

"......my wife isn't going to like that I bought this"

".......selling/trading these movies because the wife told me to"

etc.....

Guys, primarily you married ones......what is your take on this? Are your wives in control in this way? I'm getting married in a few months, and so I may/may not be headed this way.

Make sure your future wife doesn't see this thread.

Plus I agree with Deads, its a give n take relationship.

Zman2k2 · 11-20-2009, 03:14 AM

I have to say right now, that my wife is FANTASTIC!! When I initially got involved in HT, she made room for me in the living room, by moving some furniture around. She has put up with all my "toys" in the living room for now, and is in the process of helping me plan a basement theater room. But it's not like I don't help out with things that I can as well. I made some sacrifices a few years ago, and we bought a duplex where we rent the other half to her parents. And personally, I can't stand her father. It's a hate-hate relationship with him.

As said, it's all about give and take. Learn to ask about things, and be ready to explain why you need that new amp or BD player. But also be reasonable in understanding that she may not be comfortable emptying the bank account for some of this stuff. Save and be happy. Remember that you are together for the long-haul, not just until you get in each others' way.

SellmeyourDVD · 11-20-2009, 03:34 AM

I'm currently engaged, and I hate to brag, but I get to do what I want, when I want

.

I'm in the process of selling my tv right now, and instead of getting an LCD/LED I was going to get a larger version of the tv I have right now. After I told my fiancee that she literaly said, "just get the LED tv, you know it's the one you want, and you know you'll have regrets later on, so just get it!"

ManUtd · 11-20-2009, 05:19 AM

For me it's all about priorities and compromises. When I got married we just lived in apartment and we had a lot of disposable income even after meeting our savings goal every month. I could pretty much could buy anything for my hobbies. When we bought a house and had a kid obviously priorities changed. Mortgage, my kid's education, retirement, etc. are now the priority. As a result I now have a limited budget for my hobbies and I have to save up a lot longer to get what I want and so does my wife. I accept this as simply a fact of life and got no regrets whatsoever.

Sylin · 11-20-2009, 06:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moefiz

Its all about staying with in the budget that you have, when you have kids and mortgage to pay sometime you need the voice of reason to bring you back to reality...

^^^ This is wise.

One of the best benefits of marriage is that you and your spouse should compliment one another--that is to say, you both become better by having the other one around. Marriage is a partnership, not a joint venture. Success comes when both the husband and wife are equally quick and ready to give and forgive.

My wife and I are great together. She's great at starting projects. I'm great at finishing them. She's a frugal shopper. I'm an excellent cook. But most importantly, we communicate honestly about life, love, health, money, the kids, spirituality, career, you name it. We trust one another implicitly.

Just keep in mind that in America the primary cause of divorce is money fights. I'd recommend Dave Ramsey's radio show, and his book The Total Money Makeover.

Kyo28 · 11-20-2009, 08:53 AM

My wife indeed plays a major role in my depenses but I think that's only natural.

We've agree on an average monthly budget we both can spend for our hobbies and how much we need to save up at least each month. In all honesty, I must admit I spend more on hobby than she does.

For small purchases (one blu-ray, a cheap pair of shoes, etc) we don't consult each other, since we stay in our respective budgets. For bigger purchases (a new TV, an AV receiver, etc) we discuss everything together: specs, price, etc and then make the purchase after reaching an agreement.

In the end, it's always a bit give & take but as long as you do things in concertation with each other and in a respectful manner towards each other, I think things go smoothly.

11-19-2009, 10:49 PM	#1
BRu-LAy Special Member Member since:Feb 2008 Location:Fortress of Solitude Trading Score:46	The Wife (or Girlfriend) Factor Sometimes as I go through the threads and posts throughout the site, I see people putting things like ".....hope my wife will approve this" "......my wife isn't going to like that I bought this" ".......selling/trading these movies because the wife told me to" etc..... Guys, primarily you married ones......what is your take on this? Are your wives in control in this way? I'm getting married in a few months, and so I may/may not be headed this way.

11-19-2009, 11:08 PM	#4
Mubbly Active Member Member since:Dec 2007 Location:Antioch, CA Blu-ray collection:72 Blu-ray reviews:2	I think half of them say that for a joke. My wife doesn't really care what I do in regards to blu-rays and HT. Although, I'd love to put my system in our spare room - not the living room. Can't get her to agree with me on that, but that's OK. I would be careful about boss-wives(see John & Kate). It never turns out good.. There should be a lot of compromises for each other, out of love. I'm sure she has her hobbies, as do we. Last edited by Mubbly; 11-19-2009 at 11:12 PM.

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11-19-2009, 10:59 PM	#2
Clark Kent Blu-ray Prince Top contributor Member since:Oct 2007 Location:Metropolis Blu-ray reviews:2 Trading Score:184	Let me ask Lois if I am allowed to post an honest answer to this question.

11-19-2009, 11:47 PM	#5
Moefiz Blu-ray Knight Member since:Jul 2007 Blu-ray collection:288 DVD collection:20 Blu-ray reviews: 15 Trading Score:70	Its all about staying with in the budget that you have, when you have kids and mortgage to pay sometime you need the voice of reason to bring you back to reality...

11-19-2009, 11:58 PM	#6
BRu-LAy Special Member Member since:Feb 2008 Location:Fortress of Solitude Trading Score:46	Thanks for your input. I remember on one of the trade/sell threads someone was getting rid of their stuff because the wife didn't approve of its content. Luckily, I'm marrying a girl who won't be as controlling.

11-20-2009, 12:14 AM	#7
Bizdady Blu-ray Duke Member since:Nov 2007 Location:8 1 8 Biatch!! L.A. Home Theater Gallery:21 Blu-ray collection:209 Blu-ray reviews:1 Trading Score:38	Run away!! lol jk

11-20-2009, 01:03 AM	#8
SDBlu Special Member Member since:Jul 2008 Location:So Cal Blu-ray collection:171	It all varies on a case by case basis. My wife supports me in my HT hobby as long as I keep it within reason. Someone else mentioned compromise and that is also necessary. Priorities and budgets have to be set. I have a wife and two boys and they come first for me. After the family and bills are taken care of...with the $$ left over, then come the BLU's

11-20-2009, 01:33 AM	#9
Psychonaut Blu-ray Samurai Member since:Apr 2008 Location:Second left after Wal-Mart Blu-ray collection:111	Mine breaks my balls about buying stuff so I have to buy in a constant trickle. If I make a mass purchase (usually made with music), I get *****ed out. I'd really rather she hit me in the balls than reach that octave with her voice but oh well.

11-20-2009, 01:40 AM	#11
Steve Blu-ray Knight Top ranked HT gallery Top contributor Member since:May 2008 Location:Anna, TX 4K collection:128 Blu-ray collection:416 Trading Score:41	I agree that I think alot of guys post that kind of stuff as a joke. For me it's just a matter of not going crazy spending a ton of money we don't have. For the most part we like the same movies, but if you look through my listed blu-ray collection you'll undoubtedly be able to pick out a couple that are hers which I don't really care for.

11-20-2009, 01:49 AM	#14
mj79 Banned Member since:Jun 2009 Location:San Antonio/ Duluth Mn	After being engaged, owning a house and being a carpenter, ive learned when a woman wants a specific sized house , then you just have to add another 50% square footage for yourself.. that will give you all the room in the garage you will ever need, and that should also give you an extra 2-3 rooms in a house all to yourself as well

11-20-2009, 03:14 AM	#16
Zman2k2 Blu-ray Guru Top contributor Member since:Jan 2008 Location:Calgary, Canada Home Theater Gallery:5 Blu-ray collection:136 Trading Score:54	I have to say right now, that my wife is FANTASTIC!! When I initially got involved in HT, she made room for me in the living room, by moving some furniture around. She has put up with all my "toys" in the living room for now, and is in the process of helping me plan a basement theater room. But it's not like I don't help out with things that I can as well. I made some sacrifices a few years ago, and we bought a duplex where we rent the other half to her parents. And personally, I can't stand her father. It's a hate-hate relationship with him. As said, it's all about give and take. Learn to ask about things, and be ready to explain why you need that new amp or BD player. But also be reasonable in understanding that she may not be comfortable emptying the bank account for some of this stuff. Save and be happy. Remember that you are together for the long-haul, not just until you get in each others' way.

11-20-2009, 03:34 AM	#17
SellmeyourDVD Blu-ray Guru Member since:Apr 2008 Blu-ray collection:125 Trading Score:11	I'm currently engaged, and I hate to brag, but I get to do what I want, when I want . I'm in the process of selling my tv right now, and instead of getting an LCD/LED I was going to get a larger version of the tv I have right now. After I told my fiancee that she literaly said, "just get the LED tv, you know it's the one you want, and you know you'll have regrets later on, so just get it!"

11-20-2009, 05:19 AM	#18
ManUtd Blu-ray Count Top contributor Member since:Feb 2008 Location:In my HT Home Theater Gallery:1 4K collection:15 Blu-ray collection:829 Blu-ray reviews: 5 Trading Score:5	For me it's all about priorities and compromises. When I got married we just lived in apartment and we had a lot of disposable income even after meeting our savings goal every month. I could pretty much could buy anything for my hobbies. When we bought a house and had a kid obviously priorities changed. Mortgage, my kid's education, retirement, etc. are now the priority. As a result I now have a limited budget for my hobbies and I have to save up a lot longer to get what I want and so does my wife. I accept this as simply a fact of life and got no regrets whatsoever.

11-20-2009, 08:53 AM	#20
Kyo28 Power Member Member since:Jun 2008 Blu-ray collection:446 Blu-ray reviews:12	My wife indeed plays a major role in my depenses but I think that's only natural. We've agree on an average monthly budget we both can spend for our hobbies and how much we need to save up at least each month. In all honesty, I must admit I spend more on hobby than she does. For small purchases (one blu-ray, a cheap pair of shoes, etc) we don't consult each other, since we stay in our respective budgets. For bigger purchases (a new TV, an AV receiver, etc) we discuss everything together: specs, price, etc and then make the purchase after reaching an agreement. In the end, it's always a bit give & take but as long as you do things in concertation with each other and in a respectful manner towards each other, I think things go smoothly.

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