In need of serious help

[Owen Lol]

Before I explain what my problem is. I must admit. I am a High school student.

Now that that's out of the way. Here's my problem. I am forced to share a room. It's the most painful thing in my life today. I get so, so pissed off at my brother. Having to see him all the time. No time alone, nowhere to call my own. Only "ours". My biggest problem with him is that he never leaves the room. He is CONSTANTLY on the computer. Gaming mainly, but not all he does. When I try to watch movies, all I hear is the keyboard typing. Doesn't sound like much but when you spend $20+ dollars I prefer to watch it in peace. It may not sound terrible to some of you. But try it some time. Typing a fast pace. And the occasional talking on the mic and hysterical laughter, and the loud gunfire and explosions so loud I can hear it through the movie, and through his headphones. I rage my ass off . Also when I get from home, he doesn't look away from the screen, just stares with dead eyes at the screen. When I ask him to turn his computer off for the time I watch a movie. And that's to much for him. He ended up yelling at me and tell me "Shut the f*ck up you f*cking wuss!" I talk to my parents about it ALL the time. I mean more than three times day. I'm near tears in frustration when I think of how shitty this really is. The only real chance I have is to convince my parents to fix up our basement, it has real potential to be really nice with some hard work. And they say they'll talk about it and never get back to me. They try to avoid the subject as much as possible. I'm afraid to invite any friends over because he is ALWAYS here. And he has 0 social skills. I feel like I'm talking to a wall. No answer, no emotion, no cares but the computer. I can't do homework or anything like that in "our" room because it is impossibly hard to concentrate. Nobody I know shares a room.
I've tried so many things to try to fix our basement. My Dad was pretty adamant on fixing it for a short while. And in that short time, we got a lot done. We took the ugly bars on the ceiling down, moved everything from the basement to the garage (that was the longest process, took a few days of hard work) and we also installed new lights. If we could just put in the last effort, carpet/ hardwood the floor. It would be perfect. And he could game in the dark in peace. I'm tired of this life. I'm tired of him. I'm sick of being the one he does all of his complaining to. Which is a shit load when he's in a bad mood. Which is every day.
I chose this forum because it's one of the few ones that he isn't an active member on.
I've come up with so many valid points trying to convince my parents to just finish the basement. But they don't count for sh*t.
Ex. I could excel academically, socially, I wouldn't be in a terrible mood 60% of the time. I deserve to have it done. I brought home better grades than I ever have in my life. I was awarded for it. But I still feel that all of efforts are useless. I don't know what more I can do to prove that I deserve it. My parents constantly backfire things like "There are people in the world that have to share a room with their whole family!" And I just speak the truth, "Well we aren't those people! We can afford it! I deserve and but you just don't want to do it! That's the real problem and you have no idea what it's like to share a room. Having NO where that's just yours. Where nobody can tell you what you don't want to here."
I'm generally a happy person. But in all honesty, this may lead to a depressing.

If anyone has any valid points, ideas, suggestions, on how to solve, or even help the situation. Please share. I'm desperate now. And I never thought I would take it to a forum to hear what other people have to say.
He is currently on his comp, playing away at his games. Same as always.

From BD lover to BD lover. Please help.

[Galactus]

You're whole post has me worried dude!

[Owen Lol]

Originally Posted by Blu Blood

You're whole post has me worried dude!

There's no short way to say it. I needed to really say as much as I could in the smallest way possible. Believe me that's far from all that happens..

[JJ]

Seriously, to the above post by Blu Blood.

Now, I mean this without any harm, but - I'm not exactly sure what you could hope to gain from us here on the forum.

Now, personally, I did share a room with my younger sister until my second year of college (age 19) - but I suppose she was much different than your brother. It becomes apparent to me that he is not going to change until real life smacks him in the face. Your parents seem unwilling to do anything about it, for some reason or another.

The only thing you can do, which is my firm recommendation because it is how I live my life (Jose the person, not JJ the hilarious online persona) - is to, basically, do you.

Do what you can, push YOURSELF to get away from surroundings and environments that upset you. Take it upon your own hands to either fix that garage, kick ass in school so you can go away for college, get a job to move out, so on or so forth. YOU have to resolve this. With your own personal strength, fortitude, and determination. We can blow sunshine up your rear all day long, but that's not helping a thing. Take command, Owen.

If he ignores you, you ignore him. No reason to try to make amends with someone who doesn't care. Bring your friends over. Don't modify YOUR life to deal with his issues. Don't complain to your parents, because you will lose their respect. Don't beat yourself up over him. Focus that energy on other things. How old are you?

[Galactus]

Originally Posted by Owen Lol

There's no short way to say it. I needed to really say as much as I could in the smallest way possible. Believe me that's far from all that happens..

The only thing i can add is don't keep taking that bullsh!t from your brother, lay down the law. I guarantee he will stop disrespecting you like the way you described, if he doesn't wanna get off the computer! pull the fu@king power cable!!!

[Owen Lol]

Originally Posted by JJxiv1215

Seriously, to the above post by Blu Blood.

Now, I mean this without any harm, but - I'm not exactly sure what you could hope to gain from us here on the forum.

Now, personally, I did share a room with my younger sister until my second year of college (age 19) - but I suppose she was much different than your brother. It becomes apparent to me that he is not going to change until real life smacks him in the face. Your parents seem unwilling to do anything about it, for some reason or another.

The only thing you can do, which is my firm recommendation because it is how I live my life (Jose the person, not JJ the hilarious online persona) - is to, basically, do you.

Do what you can, push YOURSELF to get away from surroundings and environments that upset you. Take it upon your own hands to either fix that garage, kick ass in school so you can go away for college, get a job to move out, so on or so forth. YOU have to resolve this. With your own personal strength, fortitude, and determination. We can blow sunshine up your rear all day long, but that's not helping a thing. Take command, Owen.

If he ignores you, you ignore him. No reason to try to make amends with someone who doesn't care. Bring your friends over. Don't modify YOUR life to deal with his issues. Don't complain to your parents, because you will lose their respect. Don't beat yourself up over him. Focus that energy on other things. How old are you?

Wow. That was deep. That was something I really needed to hear.. Thanks.. Thank you very much to take it upon yourself to help the situation. And I'm 14 almost 15..

[JJ]

Originally Posted by Owen Lol

Wow. That was deep. That was something I really needed to hear.. Thanks.. Thank you very much to take it upon yourself to help the situation. And I'm 14 almost 15..

Ah, see?! You're still young as heck! Plenty of time to sort your life out. I was afraid you were in your late teens, early twenties. No, no. You're more than good. CONCENTRATE. If something upsets you, remove it from your life. I'm telling you, it's all on you.

But I don't recommend what Blu Blood said, lol. No need to start something with him that can only devolve (is that even a word?) into something worse. He'll have his own issues to deal with in the future.

[Galactus]

Originally Posted by JJxiv1215

Seriously, to the above post by Blu Blood.

Now, I mean this without any harm, but - I'm not exactly sure what you could hope to gain from us here on the forum.

Now, personally, I did share a room with my younger sister until my second year of college (age 19) - but I suppose she was much different than your brother. It becomes apparent to me that he is not going to change until real life smacks him in the face. Your parents seem unwilling to do anything about it, for some reason or another.

The only thing you can do, which is my firm recommendation because it is how I live my life (Jose the person, not JJ the hilarious online persona) - is to, basically, do you.

Do what you can, push YOURSELF to get away from surroundings and environments that upset you. Take it upon your own hands to either fix that garage, kick ass in school so you can go away for college, get a job to move out, so on or so forth. YOU have to resolve this. With your own personal strength, fortitude, and determination. We can blow sunshine up your rear all day long, but that's not helping a thing. Take command, Owen.

If he ignores you, you ignore him. No reason to try to make amends with someone who doesn't care. Bring your friends over. Don't modify YOUR life to deal with his issues. Don't complain to your parents, because you will lose their respect. Don't beat yourself up over him. Focus that energy on other things. How old are you?

I agree 100%

[Owen Lol]

Originally Posted by JJxiv1215

Ah, see?! You're still young as heck! Plenty of time to sort your life out. I was afraid you were in your late teens, early twenties. No, no. You're more than good. CONCENTRATE. If something upsets you, remove it from your life. I'm telling you, it's all on you.

But I don't recommend what Blu Blood said, lol. No need to start something with him that can only devolve (is that even a word?) into something worse. He'll have his own issues to deal with in the future.

You're good at this..
And a job would be nice to have.. Take my mind off something. Self-fulfillment. I hope that's a word

[JJ]

Originally Posted by Owen Lol

You're good at this..
And a job would be nice to have.. Take my mind off something. Self-fulfillment. I hope that's a word

Yes. ALWAYS be doing something. The more you aren't doing anything, the more you have things in your mind, bothering you, making you think unnecessarily. Put your mind to something else. Not even self-fulfillment, self-motivation.

[Galactus]

Originally Posted by JJxiv1215

But I don't recommend what Blu Blood said, lol. No need to start something with him that can only devolve (is that even a word?) into something worse. He'll have his own issues to deal with in the future.

And just what is that supposed to mean? Did i say start a fight?

I'm just trying to help the kid build confidence to fix the situation.

[Secretagentnumber6]

To watch movies at least I recommend getting your hands on some good headphones and find a way to get the sound through them. Get some good noise cancelling headphones that will completely block out the typing. You of course may need a sound system to plug the phones into to get the sound through them but nonetheless this would be the easiest way to solve the movie problem if he is uninterested in watching them when you are. This may be abit expensive but Christmas is coming up so get your wishes in early. Sennheiser makes great headphones that will likely do the job but they are a bit expensive, so you may want a cheaper alternative.

[Owen Lol]

Originally Posted by JJxiv1215

Yes. ALWAYS be doing something. The more you aren't doing anything, the more you have things in your mind, bothering you, making you think unnecessarily. Put your mind to something else. Not even self-fulfillment, self-motivation.

MMm. Makes a lot of sense. Didn't think this thread would end up being at all helpful.

[Clark Kent]

First, only worry about problems you can control. Living at home in a limited space with your brother at the moment is something you probably can't change on your own. He sounds like he has some sort of addiction to computer use and very likely gaming. I saw it in a relative of mine and it is depressing just to see another person have it. Think of concrete steps to resolve your difficulties. Is there anyone else in your family you can talk to besides your parents about this issue?

I doubt talking to your brother directly will do much, but you could always discuss it with him and see if he is willing to compromise or give you more personal time.

Good luck with your problem.

[Owen Lol]

Originally Posted by Clark Kent

First, only worry about problems you can control. Living at home in a limited space with your brother at the moment is something you probably can't change on your own. He sounds like he has some sort of addiction to computer use and very likely gaming. I saw it in a relative of mine and it is depressing just to see another person have it. Think of concrete steps to resolve your difficulties. Is there anyone else in your family you can talk to besides your parents about this issue?

I doubt talking to your brother directly will do much, but you could always discuss it with him and see if he is willing to compromise or give you more personal time.

Good luck with your problem.

I've tried talking to him. My parents have. They've taken in away. And still nothing.

[Beta Man]

Take Mohandas Ghandi as your inspiration....... Become passively aggressive.

My one recommendation, which you can start immediately, and would have immediate effects would be.......... SLEEP ON THE COUCH.

Trust me.... sounds stupid, but look at it this way....

1) Your parents will want to know why you keep sleeping on the couch and staying up too late..... then you tell them you can't share a room.....

2) Your parents will see your new-found hobby of sleeping on the sofa that they wish to enjoy..... in a space where THEY wish to a moment's peace, as an infringement on their relaxation and peace..... They will WANT you to not sleep on the couch, and will realize the lengths you're willing to go to not share a room with your brother.

3) If sleeping on the sofa causes too much distress with the parents, set up some sort of old couch, small bed, etc. in the basement...... they won't be able to bare the thought of you spending your nights in an improperly finished basement, and they'll try to meet you half-way on it at least.....


I know earlier you said "They can afford it" so you don't have to share a room..... but realize that basement remodels are VERY VERY VERY expensive..... but, perhaps pitch it to them in terms of dollars and cents, and let them know that not only would it appease you (your main goal) but it would increase the value of the home, and give your dad a "Man Room" or your mom an exercise/craft/rec/whatever room once you and your brother have both moved out of the house, and are on your own.....

If the money isn't "really" there though.... I think asking your parents to dump a lot of money into a remodel that they don't have, during a time when real estate is struggling, is asking too much..... but look for common ground, and find a solution that benefits EVERYONE..... I'm sure your brother doesn't want to share a room either.....

[crazyBLUE]

Originally Posted by JJxiv1215

Seriously, to the above post by Blu Blood.

Now, I mean this without any harm, but - I'm not exactly sure what you could hope to gain from us here on the forum.

Now, personally, I did share a room with my younger sister until my second year of college (age 19) - but I suppose she was much different than your brother. It becomes apparent to me that he is not going to change until real life smacks him in the face. Your parents seem unwilling to do anything about it, for some reason or another.

The only thing you can do, which is my firm recommendation because it is how I live my life (Jose the person, not JJ the hilarious online persona) - is to, basically, do you.

Do what you can, push YOURSELF to get away from surroundings and environments that upset you. Take it upon your own hands to either fix that garage, kick ass in school so you can go away for college, get a job to move out, so on or so forth. YOU have to resolve this. With your own personal strength, fortitude, and determination. We can blow sunshine up your rear all day long, but that's not helping a thing. Take command, Owen.

If he ignores you, you ignore him. No reason to try to make amends with someone who doesn't care. Bring your friends over. Don't modify YOUR life to deal with his issues. Don't complain to your parents, because you will lose their respect. Don't beat yourself up over him. Focus that energy on other things. How old are you?

-

[silversnake]

I think Beta Man just won this thread.

Great advice.

[tilallr1]

Originally Posted by Beta Man

Take Mohandas Ghandi as your inspiration....... Become passively aggressive.

My one recommendation, which you can start immediately, and would have immediate effects would be.......... SLEEP ON THE COUCH.

Trust me.... sounds stupid, but look at it this way....

1) Your parents will want to know why you keep sleeping on the couch and staying up too late..... then you tell them you can't share a room.....

2) Your parents will see your new-found hobby of sleeping on the sofa that they wish to enjoy..... in a space where THEY wish to a moment's peace, as an infringement on their relaxation and peace..... They will WANT you to not sleep on the couch, and will realize the lengths you're willing to go to not share a room with your brother.

3) If sleeping on the sofa causes too much distress with the parents, set up some sort of old couch, small bed, etc. in the basement...... they won't be able to bare the thought of you spending your nights in an improperly finished basement, and they'll try to meet you half-way on it at least.....


I know earlier you said "They can afford it" so you don't have to share a room..... but realize that basement remodels are VERY VERY VERY expensive..... but, perhaps pitch it to them in terms of dollars and cents, and let them know that not only would it appease you (your main goal) but it would increase the value of the home, and give your dad a "Man Room" or your mom an exercise/craft/rec/whatever room once you and your brother have both moved out of the house, and are on your own.....

If the money isn't "really" there though.... I think asking your parents to dump a lot of money into a remodel that they don't have, during a time when real estate is struggling, is asking too much..... but look for common ground, and find a solution that benefits EVERYONE..... I'm sure your brother doesn't want to share a room either.....

Awesome advice man.

[Bizdady]

Cant put a tv in the basement?