i hate my life and wished i was dead sometimes

[y2jman]

yeah i'm 35 years old got nothing going for me no job don't drive take taxi's here and there too shy asked a women out never had a women btw
plus fact that i got some disabilites on me like hand shakes been though alot surgey wise got scars over my body being a heart patient things like open heart pacmaker too sorry to lose some weight kindof have some stretch marks on me hate my body btw

got a paralized vocal cord i can talk just voice goes high and low however a few years ago got injection only make voice loud i'm not so sure went away yet i don't know if i want to do round 2 whenever injection completely wears out and i'm back having a low voice

what else about me had a hole in thoat due to trachea when i was a baby



i drawl socal security every month on the 3rd i do pay for rent down internet and stuff down at brother's old room living with parents

half of my friends married and moved its hard to get a few friends to go see wrestling with me nashville sometimes my had takes me if have no choice


apprently i guess i have a little asperger's in me i get depressed time to time

i just don't know why i'm still alive and living basically don't know my purpose in life

i did go to nashville state tech community collage 2 years graduated 2004 got computer technology certificate thing didn't help me get a job


i went to career center last week couldn't talk to somebody i thought somebody will call this past tues but i guess wanted me there

there's nothing much to do in the job world can't talk on phone folks still can't understand me and can lift alot of things due having a pacmaker meh