The Canyons (directed by Paul Schrader and starring Lindsay Lohan)

[jvince]

Genre:
Thriller

Synopsis:
Youth, glamor, sex and Los Angeles, circa 2012.


Director:
Paul Schrader

Writer:
Bret Easton Ellis (American Psycho)

Star:
Lindsay Lohan (Mean Girls)

[Kleeberg]

Brett Easton Ellis's books are tough to make into movies. This doesn't look good at all.

youtube.com/watch?v=ior-Tw5Yzkw

youtube.com/watch?v=j7z3x53dSrE

[Snicket]

The New York Times ran an amazing article about this. I guess they had a journalist with them from start to finish. Fascinating read, I would link to it but I'm on my phone. Definitely check it out.

I don't want to see this movie, but I want to see the making of this movie.

[Hawkguy]

Originally Posted by Snicket

The New York Times ran an amazing article about this. I guess they had a journalist with them from start to finish. Fascinating read, I would link to it but I'm on my phone. Definitely check it out.

I don't want to see this movie, but I want to see the making of this movie.

This one, right? Interesting indeed :

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/13/magazine/here-is-what-happens-when-you-cast-lindsay-lohan-in-your-movie.html?smid=tw-share&_r=1&pagewanted=all

Edit: Uhh..guess that doesn't work..though it did for me at first (?)

[Snicket]

Originally Posted by CoopFilm

This one, right? Interesting indeed :

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/13/magazine/here-is-what-happens-when-you-cast-lindsay-lohan-in-your-movie.html?smid=tw-share&_r=1&pagewanted=all

Edit: Uhh..guess that doesn't work..though it did for me at first (?)

Yep, that is the one. The link is not working but a quick google search will bring it right up.

[Jumpman]

Sad article but really fascinating.

[legendarymatt92]

I like Paul Schrader and both his written and directorial work - he seems a good choice for something as debached as this. Lohan, on the other hand, is a passable actress at best -- she's never been particularly brilliant for me, even in Mean Girls (which most cite as her best work).

That article was both fascinating and disturbing, though; I'd only ever heard of problems like this with older, classic films - it seems strange seeing such problems in between words such as "texting" and "emails".

[fgomike]

The Canyons - isn't that what you would describe whats between her legs?

[thrillmygorilla]

Straight-to-video.

[Taipan]

Straight to streaming.....

[spanky87]

These movies that go for a vintage look, need to be shot on FILM. Digital video with added film grain and scratches looks so tacky.

[Snicket]

Originally Posted by spanky87

These movies that go for a vintage look, need to be shot on FILM. Digital video with added film grain and scratches looks so tacky.

There is no way they could afford film on their budget, especially with Lindsey blowing the daily wages of the crew on sushi and booze.

[retablo]

Originally Posted by spanky87

These movies that go for a vintage look, need to be shot on FILM. Digital video with added film grain and scratches looks so tacky.

Only the trailers are "vintage". The movie is supposed to look normal.

[Kleeberg]

From Yahoo News...

Lindsay Lohan's Comeback Isn't Good Enough for SXSW
By Esther Zuckerman

In yet more bad news for Lindsay Lohan, her film The Canyons, which co-stars porn star James Deen, has reportedly been rejected from SXSW. An "insider" tells the Hollywood Reporter that the film has "quality issues" and an "ugliness and a deadness to it." Which, wow, harsh.

The one hope for Lohan in this whole saga was that there were notable, albeit not-in-their-prime creative types behind the camera. Director Paul Schrader wrote Taxi Driver and writer Bret Easton Ellis is, well, Bret Easton Ellis, Twitter account and all.

Based on this month's fascinating New York Times Magazine piece from the set, The Canyons sounded like a behind-the-scenes disaster. That said, author Stephen Rodrick explains that Schrader still had hope for the film, thinking it would get into Sundance — it didn't. Ellis, though, hated it, saying: "The film is so languorous. It’s an hour 30, and it seems like it’s three hours long. I saw this as a pranky noirish thriller, but Schrader turned it into, well, a Schrader film." Lohan, too, was not pleased, pretty much hating the movie at a private screening: "He showed the film to Lindsay and her mother, Dina, in October at his New York City apartment. They were both so furious about how the camera lingered on Deen that Schrader had to move Dina to another room to get through the screening." So she'll have to come up with some new excuses once The Canyons inevitably flops.

[tonylopez]

I can not wait to not see it! LOL

[Cinemach]

I know this is going to be terrible, but I'm looking forward to seeing it.

A behind-the-scenes movie of this movie would make a good...movie.

[Scottie]

Isn't this the one where Lindsay had all of the cameramen get naked so she didn't feel as uncomfortable?

[legendarymatt92]

Originally Posted by iScottie

Isn't this the one where Lindsay had all of the cameramen get naked so she didn't feel as uncomfortable?

Nah, just Paul Schrader...and it was his idea to do it, apparently.



The press never give films like this much of a chance - just because it doesn't have a Hollywood ending and both the author and "star" (who are both quite far up their own behinds) didn't like it, they've now assumed it's going to be one of the worst things ever made. I quite like the premise, and the old-fashioned trailers worked well, so I'll try and see it if it manages to get to a cinema somewhere near me.

[thrillmygorilla]

Originally Posted by Kleeberg

From Yahoo News...

Lindsay Lohan's Comeback Isn't Good Enough for SXSW
By Esther Zuckerman

In yet more bad news for Lindsay Lohan, her film The Canyons, which co-stars porn star James Deen, has reportedly been rejected from SXSW. An "insider" tells the Hollywood Reporter that the film has "quality issues" and an "ugliness and a deadness to it." Which, wow, harsh.

The one hope for Lohan in this whole saga was that there were notable, albeit not-in-their-prime creative types behind the camera. Director Paul Schrader wrote Taxi Driver and writer Bret Easton Ellis is, well, Bret Easton Ellis, Twitter account and all.

Based on this month's fascinating New York Times Magazine piece from the set, The Canyons sounded like a behind-the-scenes disaster. That said, author Stephen Rodrick explains that Schrader still had hope for the film, thinking it would get into Sundance — it didn't. Ellis, though, hated it, saying: "The film is so languorous. It’s an hour 30, and it seems like it’s three hours long. I saw this as a pranky noirish thriller, but Schrader turned it into, well, a Schrader film." Lohan, too, was not pleased, pretty much hating the movie at a private screening: "He showed the film to Lindsay and her mother, Dina, in October at his New York City apartment. They were both so furious about how the camera lingered on Deen that Schrader had to move Dina to another room to get through the screening." So she'll have to come up with some new excuses once The Canyons inevitably flops.

and rejected by Sundance.

[Scottie]

This film was absolutely terrible.

You would think that with such films as The Last Temptation Of Christ, Obsession, Raging Bull, and Taxi Driver attached to his name, Paul Schrader would have made this very simple film a lot better, but this film is nothing short of a train wreck. I honestly should have known better before I wasted 100 minutes of my time and $7.99 for the On-Demand rental. With such people as Lindsay Lohan and a real life porn star involved, this film was doomed from the start.

The film opens up with some very simple and irrelevant shots of random movie theaters in the Los Angeles area as the credits roll. This was only the beginning of a long string of random and irrelevant moments that plague this film throughout its runtime. Some of the other honorable mentions include noting what day of the week it is (they only showed Monday and Tuesday), filming random shots of people who had no role in the movie, filming random shots of random objects (such as a painting on a psychiatrist's wall), and the random sexcapades that were present during the film.

The central premise of the entire movie is how Lindsay Lohan's character, Tara, a ditzy woman who Lindsay Lohan herself resembles, is fought over by two different men. Christian, her current boyfriend, is a rich and snobby nobody who thinks that he is a somebody because he has some money. He thinks that the world revolves around him and that he can come and go as he pleases. The other man is Ryan, a model, who Tara once dated. He has been having an affair with her for over a month and Christian is very suspicious of him. The entire movie consists of Christian being suspicious of Tara. He goes so far as to hire numerous men to follow both Ryan and Tara. One of the funniest things he did was using his internet technician to hack into both Ryan and Tara's FaceBook accounts, deleted text messages, and bank accounts. It was rather unrealistic, but then again, most of the irrelevant jargon that weighed down this film was unrealistic as well.

After that went on for about 80-90 minutes of the film, Tara decides to smarten up and leave Christian (but not until he gives her the okay to leave first!) After he does, he also asks her to give him an alibi for where he was (I won't spoil the details for you guys, but he's involved in a murder) and she (stupidly) agrees. Even after she has broke off this relationship, Christian still threatens her with "if you ever see Ryan again, blah, blah, blah, I WILL KILL HIM AND I WILL GET AWAY WITH IT!" (It's probably the funniest thing I heard in a movie all year).

The Canyons (one of the most random things you could call a film) is a perfect example of money well-wasted. I can only imagine how much time was spent writing this rather laughable script compared to the amount of money that was spent on filming, editing, and producing it.

This film is not worth anything more than 0.5 / 4 stars.