A Column about Movie Etiquette

[ronboster]

I read this column from a Daily Beast writer and his recent experience at an art house screening of "TAR".

I was a little surprised this would happen at an Angelika Cinema (that was my go-to when living in Houston), but maybe the last couple of years being housebound as changed ppl's experiences of seeing movies....

What I mean by that statement is that people treat the public movie theater experience as if they are in their living rooms.

I'll admit I have 3 different levels of engagement:

1) Watching a movie in our living room. We'll take about the movie (good or bad), look up an actor's IMDB page when a question comes up or any number of engagements.

2) Watching a movie in the home theater. A lot of times my wife will say, is this an upstairs movie (living room) or a downstairs movies (basement HT). Usually, very little discussions unless the movie really sucks

3) Watching a movie in the theater. Absolutely no talking during the film. I actually get anxious when ppl around me are openly chatting during the previews (wondering if they are going to respect the no talk, no text social contract in a public theater).

I know we've had dozens of similar threads, but this column made me revisit the topic relative to ppl now re-entering the public movie experience.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/obsess...uette?ref=home

[CarbonUnitM78]

That article is so disheartening! I hear a lot of people complaining about rude people in movie theatres but I wonder how many actually try to do something about it. We can't let people like that rule the roost and go unchallenged. We must take our movie theatres back! If people can't behave in a movie theatre, let them stream it at home. Some theatres also have private theatre rentals.

When I watch a movie at home with a family member, the rule is that we don't talk during the movie. The only exception is if it's a movie that is playing in the background or a film we have seen many times before.

[drush9999]

There's a massive difference between what people do at home (their business) and what they do in a movie theater (everyone's business).
I have lost my goat twice over the years with people at a screening to STFU.

[ronboster]

Originally Posted by CarbonUnitM78

That article is so disheartening! I hear a lot of people complaining about rude people in movie theatres but I wonder how many actually try to do something about it. We can't let people like that rule the roost and go unchallenged. We must take our movie theatres back! If people can't behave in a movie theatre, let them stream it at home. Some theatres also have private theatre rentals.

When I watch a movie at home with a family member, the rule is that we don't talk during the movie. The only exception is if it's a movie that is playing in the background or a film we have seen many times before.

For Costco members there are nitrogen tire pumps at many locations. Recent location had one broken and other one working. It just so happened someone decided to park their car in the space for the working unit and go shopping. There is signage stating for servicing tires only (or something to that extent). In fact all the spaces against that side of the building have signs stating for tire center only...so there's really zero confusion this isn't for parking to shop.

I wanted to fill my tires, but there was a car in the non-working space and the guy was trying to drag the working hose from the other unit to fill his tires. I went a head and parked in the lot where there were dozens of empty spaces (wasn't busy that day) about 10-20 yards from the tire filling spaces.

As it happened, two ppl walked up to the abandoned car (in the tire space), so I asked if it was her car. She said yes and I noted that space was for filling the tires only (and not to go shopping). She immediately apologized and I felt she was embarrassed and sorry for parking there.

As I was turning around, the guy with her said, "you weren't hurt by it". My response was "that not's the point. The point is there were empty spaces available and these are for filling tires only". Again, his comeback was "and you weren't hurt by it...you'll be okay". My response was that's not the point, the point is there is a social contract for everyone to follow the signs that Costco's installed for a reason. I turned away and of course, his retort was "and you weren't hurt by it."

If "you weren't hurt by it" as the rule of thumb, instead of following the "rules" or "implied social contract"...then we'd have a pretty "f-d up" societal norms.

IMO, it's a selfish position to do what you want (like talking and texting during a movie) vs what one should be doing when interacting with others in public.

[Moviefan2k4]

I'm blessed in that I haven't had very many rude theater moments. The people around me have usually been very courteous and well-mannered.

[stvn1974]

Psst...it isn't just at movie theaters that people are asses anymore.

[Lee A Stewart]

Count your blessings. It hasn't reached the "Movie Theater Rage" point like it has for "Road Rage."

[stvn1974]

Originally Posted by Lee A Stewart

Count your blessings. It hasn't reached the "Movie Theater Rage" point like it has for "Road Rage."

I've told this story on the site before but when I saw Basic Instinct in a crowded theater there was a couple with a crying baby. A guy stood up and said "if you don't shut that baby up I am going to stick a gun in it's mouth". The family quickly left.

[Moviefan2k4]

Originally Posted by stvn1974

I've told this story on the site before but when I saw Basic Instinct in a crowded theater there was a couple with a crying baby. A guy stood up and said "if you don't shut that baby up I am going to stick a gun in it's mouth". The family quickly left.

That's what I would definitely call overkill, no pun intended.

[50strat54]

I worked in retail for 20 years.

I hate the public and avoid them whenever possible.

I’m retired now and I have the Regal Movie Pass. I try and go when I think there will be less people there. I usually wait to see a movie two weeks past it’s opening.

I’ve seen fist fights in movie theaters. Best not to be confrontational. Like road rage you never know who has a gun.

[Jay H.]

The problem with telling off rude people at the theater is, it ruins the movie-going experience for me - even if the people stop their rude behavior. It irritates me while they are doing it, and it irritates me that I had to tell them to stop. And, I missed part of the movie. If I go to tell an employee, most of the time they don't care - and I missed part of the movie while I left to tell them.

Rude people are everywhere, but if I come across these people at a sporting event, in a restaurant, or at a retail store, their rudeness doesn't interrupt things they way it does at a movie theater. And for the millionth time - if people can behave themselves at a museum, they can do it elsewhere.

[Streamingsux]

It's hard to judge when enough is enough in the theater. When do you go "ok, I'm about to distract from the movie myself. But this has to stop.."

I almost got there tonight. There was a family came in. And I do mean a family. Who brings a kid with a pacifier into Halloween Ends? I saw the kid and was like great. Here we go. The only thing that kept me from saying something tactless was that there were people closer to them than I was who weren't saying anything and I'd have certainly disrupted them too. Plus, I'd let it go too long anyway. If I was going to cause a scene...it should have been done before the movie had really gotten going. I'll never understand all that bullshit. No talking unless it's something absolutely necessary. Phone stays in the vehicle. Or at least stays off. If not....why do people even go?

[Fellini912]

Originally Posted by CarbonUnitM78

That article is so disheartening! I hear a lot of people complaining about rude people in movie theatres but I wonder how many actually try to do something about it. We can't let people like that rule the roost and go unchallenged. We must take our movie theatres back! If people can't behave in a movie theatre, let them stream it at home. Some theatres also have private theatre rentals.

When I watch a movie at home with a family member, the rule is that we don't talk during the movie. The only exception is if it's a movie that is playing in the background or a film we have seen many times before.

[Mystic]

I stopped going to the cinema years ago. I got tired of having a bad experience time and time again due to rude and obnoxious people. There was a time when I'd confront people and tell them to knock off the BS, but I got tired of it being a regular occurrence, and realized I'd rather watch movies at home with my wife and / or friends and just have a quiet enjoyable time "at the movies" at home.

[GeoffOliver]

I worked at a movie theater for 4 years and saw plenty of films with my employee pass (80 in 2019 alone), so I certainly experienced my share of rude people. Kids talking, babies crying, people talking or loudly whispering, laughing in inappropriate places, phones going off, the usual stuff.

But the other night I saw the OG Halloween at a local theater (thankfully not for the first time). I haven't lived in this area long, and hadn't been to this cinema before. Two groups of teenagers. Both rude as hell. One of them was slightly less rude. They would loudly talk and giggle (not at the movie), and one of them kept burping loudly. On a normal day, they'd be the bad group I'd be talking about. But the other group... this was the first time I had been in a theater with people actually jumping around and chasing each other around the theater. Seriously, what the f*ck? Do they have no sense that they're bothering the hell out of the people around them? Ruined the experience. And no, I didn't tell anyone working until after. Why should I have to miss any of a movie because of someone else? Anyway, they just told me to avoid Saturday nights.

[50strat54]

Originally Posted by Streamingsux

It's hard to judge when enough is enough in the theater. When do you go "ok, I'm about to distract from the movie myself. But this has to stop.."

I almost got there tonight. There was a family came in. And I do mean a family. Who brings a kid with a pacifier into Halloween Ends? I saw the kid and was like great. Here we go. The only thing that kept me from saying something tactless was that there were people closer to them than I was who weren't saying anything and I'd have certainly disrupted them too. Plus, I'd let it go too long anyway. If I was going to cause a scene...it should have been done before the movie had really gotten going. I'll never understand all that bullshit. No talking unless it's something absolutely necessary. Phone stays in the vehicle. Or at least stays off. If not....why do people even go?

Kid was brought in because the family didn’t want to pay for a babysitter.

Tonight I was the only one in the theater for Lyle Lyle Crocodile. Sitting in the back row in the slow parts I did look at my phone. It was one big home theater living room for me.

I dont use my phone if there are people in the theater.

[CarbonUnitM78]

Originally Posted by ronboster

For Costco members there are nitrogen tire pumps at many locations. Recent location had one broken and other one working. It just so happened someone decided to park their car in the space for the working unit and go shopping. There is signage stating for servicing tires only (or something to that extent). In fact all the spaces against that side of the building have signs stating for tire center only...so there's really zero confusion this isn't for parking to shop.

I wanted to fill my tires, but there was a car in the non-working space and the guy was trying to drag the working hose from the other unit to fill his tires. I went a head and parked in the lot where there were dozens of empty spaces (wasn't busy that day) about 10-20 yards from the tire filling spaces.

As it happened, two ppl walked up to the abandoned car (in the tire space), so I asked if it was her car. She said yes and I noted that space was for filling the tires only (and not to go shopping). She immediately apologized and I felt she was embarrassed and sorry for parking there.

As I was turning around, the guy with her said, "you weren't hurt by it". My response was "that not's the point. The point is there were empty spaces available and these are for filling tires only". Again, his comeback was "and you weren't hurt by it...you'll be okay". My response was that's not the point, the point is there is a social contract for everyone to follow the signs that Costco's installed for a reason. I turned away and of course, his retort was "and you weren't hurt by it."

If "you weren't hurt by it" as the rule of thumb, instead of following the "rules" or "implied social contract"...then we'd have a pretty "f-d up" societal norms.

IMO, it's a selfish position to do what you want (like talking and texting during a movie) vs what one should be doing when interacting with others in public.

He said "you weren't hurt by it." He must have been irritated that you said something to the woman because what he said doesn't make much sense. Yes, you may not have been hurt by it, but someone else was. According to that guy, you are guilty of actually caring about other people.

[CarbonUnitM78]

Originally Posted by GeoffOliver

I worked at a movie theater for 4 years and saw plenty of films with my employee pass (80 in 2019 alone), so I certainly experienced my share of rude people. Kids talking, babies crying, people talking or loudly whispering, laughing in inappropriate places, phones going off, the usual stuff.

But the other night I saw the OG Halloween at a local theater (thankfully not for the first time). I haven't lived in this area long, and hadn't been to this cinema before. Two groups of teenagers. Both rude as hell. One of them was slightly less rude. They would loudly talk and giggle (not at the movie), and one of them kept burping loudly. On a normal day, they'd be the bad group I'd be talking about. But the other group... this was the first time I had been in a theater with people actually jumping around and chasing each other around the theater. Seriously, what the f*ck? Do they have no sense that they're bothering the hell out of the people around them? Ruined the experience. And no, I didn't tell anyone working until after. Why should I have to miss any of a movie because of someone else? Anyway, they just told me to avoid Saturday nights.

Something similar happened to me when I recently saw Avatar. A group of kids sat in the back row and were talking throughout the movie. One of them forgot(?) to silence her phone so we kept on hearing when she got a new text message. Thankfully it was only a few times. They all also inexplicably kept on leaving the auditorium for a short while then coming back in. This happened a few times each time with loud footsteps on the stairs. No courtesy. I guess some people treat the movies as a place to hang out and not watch the film, to the chagrin of film fans. Those theatre employees just told you to avoid Saturday nights? That's sad that they won't enforce movie theatre etiquette.

[ronboster]

Originally Posted by CarbonUnitM78

He said "you weren't hurt by it." He must have been irritated that you said something to the woman because what he said doesn't make much sense. Yes, you may not have been hurt by it, but someone else was. According to that guy, you are guilty of actually caring about other people.

"you weren't hurt by it" is such a straw man argument too. If we conducted ourselves by that rule...I guess I could park right in the front of the entrance to any store. Lock up my car and go shopping. Ppl can drive around and walk around the car, as long as I'm not blocking the entrance. No one is hurt by it.

Typing this out reminded me of working as a valet manager at a hotel when I was very young. As you can imagine, ppl would leave their car parked right in front and go check in (sometimes no one was on the front drive). When it became clear, they decided to also take their bags to their room or just forgot about their car in front of the entrance doors (can cause a back up as others are trying to check in).

We had a car jack that we'd place on the under carriage and just hand tow the car off to the side. The expression on ppl's faces when they'd not see their car was priceless.

[Number_6]

The article seems to suggest that this is trend that’s begun in just the last couple of years (pandemic) but this is a trend that’s been on the rise for awhile now.

I actually pretty much swore off going to theaters the second time I saw Endgame. I had seen it myself but my wife hadn’t and the boys wanted to see it again.

There was the obligatory family in the row in front of us who were all on their phones during the entire movie so we had the cell phone blazing up at us thanks to the stadium seating that every theater has now. (I kind of wish they would go back to the non-stadium seating that theaters had when I was a kid as it’s clear people are just not going to give up messing with their phones and at least I wouldn’t have the light in my face.) I’m not surprised to see this from teens/young adults, what got me is even the parents who were my age where doing it too. I know I sound like stereotypical old-man but I’ve never understood why you’ll pay $12 to go to a theater to play on your phone that you could do for free at home.

Then there was Beavis and Butthead directly behind us who were clearly high and kept a constant Captain Obvious restating everything that just happened on screen. “He just said that”, “She just did that, huh-huh-huh”. There’s no point in telling them to knock it off as their the type that would think that getting called out for being jerks is absolutely hilarious and then just keep doing it.

Then there was the family up in front who brought a one-year-old who was clearly having a really bad day. Every time there was some type of loud noise - which during Endgame is all the time for 3 hours - the kid would start screaming like his hand got chopped off. Instead of taking the kid out of the theater, she would just walk around the corner into the hallway - which is still open to the auditorium so everyone can still hear him screaming.

Those behaviors individually are annoying but the combination of the three with the just generally poorly-behaved audience made me finally swear off going to theaters. I was just so done with it at that point, and I used to love going to the theater to see movies.

I’ve only been to the theater twice since then - to see Dune in IMAX and to see The Batman. Both times I took time off work so I could go early during the day during the week.

I don’t expect people to sit in stone silence, but it would be nice if when people make noise it’s because their responding to what they see on the screen, not causing a distraction for other. But it’s clear to me this is the age we live in now.