Greetings, Star Wars Fans ! (If I am a Trekkie, what do you call yourselves: Warsies ?)
It is now Force Friday + 14 days, and I have figured out The Force Awakens.
Note: I have
no insider information, I haven’t read anything leaked online, so no need to cry and complain “OMG mars396 ! SPOILERS!!!!!” This is all 100%
from my own mind.
My ideas come from three concepts:
This is STAR WARS. Everyone is related to each other in some way, since 1999 there are these silly little things called midichlorians, and we were specifically told (as ridiculous as it sounds) that in all the Galaxy, there are only ever two SIth: a Master and an Apprentice.
This is JJ Abrams. I obsessively watched every episode of Lost, and rewatched both of his Star Trek movies more times than would be considered healthy, so I “get” JJ Abrams.
This is Disney. There will be a dead mother (although Star Wars has also had its share of maternal death, so Star Wars + Disney is indeed a perfect Mom-hating marriage)
On to my crazy ideas. DO NOT READ if you want to go into The Force Awakens with no pre-conceived notions. You’ve been appropriately warned.
[Show spoiler]So, what’s been happening since the Battle of Endor ?
Thanks to foolish writing, we know the Sith have been removed from the Universe. There will be no secret Vader’s apprentice showing up. (I hope. I will shout profanities at the screen if something that utterly dumb happens.) The Empire was crippled, but hundreds of ships, thousands of troopers, and all the factories that made all that Imperial stuff still exist. Some have embraced the overthrow of the Emperor and will leave behind their Imperial ways, others will regroup, and plot, and plan, and scheme. The South, err I mean, the Empire Shall Rise Again ! Without the Empire’s protection, the Galaxy’s Wretched Hives of Scum and Villany had free reign to prey on the weak. Some worlds have become overwhelmed with crime and poverty. After three decades of this, these worlds will openly embrace the First Order as heroes. This is how The First Order will gain a foothold in the Galaxy, along with the financial backing of all the wealthy families who prospered under Imperial Rule behind them. The New Republic is basically the impoverished lower and middle class, struggling to maintain order with what’s left of their Rebel fleet, while the Galaxy’s Wealthy join up with the First Order. With the wealth and all the power of the Dark Side (more on that later), the First Order sets out to reclaim the Galaxy.
So who is in this movie?
Finn. He is not the light saber wielding Jedi you are looking for (more on her in a bit). His brandishing of Luke’s saber in the trailer is a Red Herring (a very common JJ Abrams M.O.). He is Lando’s son or nephew (come on, this is Star Wars - EVERYONE is related). Growing up in Cloud City has given him plenty of time to find that light saber in the bowels of Cloud City (or acquire it from the Ugnaut who did find it). As the Empire fell and the economy tanked, Cloud City went out of business, and Finn had to become a scavenger to survive. He neither likes nor hates the First Order, and only picks a side when he meets the love of his life (more on her in a bit). He is basically this trilogy’s Han Solo; the Son of Lando will fly the Millenium Falcon to support his girlfriend’s Resistance.
Rey. She is the daughter of Leia and Han Solo. The Daughter of the Daughter of Skywalker is strong with the Force (or loaded with midichlorians, if you must), and she will become the Jedi badass of this trilogy. Not in this first movie, of course, as we already have our Jedi Master (Luke).
Luke and his son. The Son of the Son of Skywalker is strong with the Force (or filled with midichlorians, etc). He becomes seduced by the Dark Side (more on him in a bit), joins up with the Knights of Ren, and chooses Kylo as his Knights of Ren name. He either kills his mother, or she dies early in the movie, or before the movie (you are watching Disney). The Widower Jedi Master must face his son in the climatic light saber duel, in an attempt to turn him back to the Bright Side. Kylo destroys his father, turning him into a Force Ghost for the rest of the trilogy “If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.” Yes, JJ will be unable to resist a father/son showdown and for the 63 year old Jedi to utter the exact line the previous 63 year old Jedi uttered in 1977 at the time of his transformation into a Force Ghost.
The Supreme Leader of the First Order. As the Emperor was thrown into the core reactor, his body was vaporized, along with all his midichlorians. These midichlorians became their own entity, basically a cloud of the Dark Side. This vaporous form has wandered the Galaxy, gaining strength, getting followers (probably by physical contact – how he turned Luke’s son to the Dark Side) and eventually forming into a physical being (ala Voldemort) in the second or third film of this trilogy. There is a reason the reigning King of Motion Capture (Andy Cerkis) was cast as Snoke – because he currently has no body. JJ has demonstrated that he tends to name his characters after their physical appearance (Captain Phasma’s shiny armor reminded him of the shiny ball in Phantasm, hence her name), so I say Snoke = smoke. The return of Lost’s Smoke Monster ! ! ! ! !
So here are my predictions:
Kylo and Luke fight to Luke’s destruction (the Son strikes down the Father). Luke’s Force Ghost will train Rey to face her cousin. Rey will be able to turn him back to the Bright Side in episode eight or nine, and together the two Skywalker cousins will (in episode nine) take down the creature that is formed from all the Dark Side midichlorians. They will literally destroy the Dark Side, once and for all. Both of Vader’s grandchildren do not survive this encounter: Luke’s son dies saving his cousin, thus redeeming himself from all the evil he’s done as Kylo Ren.
The First Order will be this trilogy’s Rebellion, striking out from secret bases, and be a force that the New Republic (called the Resistance for some reason) must hunt down and wipe out.
(perhaps they are called the “Resistance” because the First Order has the support of all the wealthy politicians in the New Senate, and so the “Resistance” are the ones who oppose the Senate and attempt to “resist” the First Order’s Senate-supported conquest of the Galaxy?)
Finn will fly the Falcon with (an apparently immortal) Chewbacca in support of the Resistance Fleet.
Finn and Rey live happily ever after. (They gotta get Billy Dee for that wedding scene! Imagine Han Solo and Lando Calrissian at their children's wedding!)
JJ will name all three movies “The Force” with a verb:
The Force Awakens
The Force Rises
The Force Triumphs
Or some such like that.
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