The "What's on your mind?" thread

[LordoftheRings]

Originally Posted by civiclx

I don't know what I want with her right now. I just know that I don't want to end up hurting her and I don't want to be put into a position where I have to do something that will be hard for me, like letting her down. I think it's because it's going well and she seems to really want to move forward and she seems to be getting to where she's all in. With my mental health conditions, building relationships is hard for me to do.

We did end up hanging out for an hour and a half after work. She drove me to my car a few aisles over in the parking lot and we sat in her car until nearly 8am after getting off at 6:30am. If I'm trying to go slow and not have her put too much hope in me just yet, I didn't do a good job this morning. Not to kiss and tell or anything but just to give you an idea of where we are, while no sexual activity occurred, she did handle me.

I need to take her out and then we can have a good time and just talk. As for telling her about this other girl, I don't want to but I feel like I should. Not to say that I haven't lied more than a few times but I have this really strong desire to be honest with people and tell the truth so that's why I want to be upfront with her. Of course I realize that if I do want something with this woman, telling her about this other girl might not be the best course of action.

Anyway, going to head on home and pick out a movie to watch so as I walk home, I'll be thinking about what I might want to watch tonight.

[Hitman Horton]

Originally Posted by civiclx

I don't know what I want with her right now. I just know that I don't want to end up hurting her and I don't want to be put into a position where I have to do something that will be hard for me, like letting her down. I think it's because it's going well and she seems to really want to move forward and she seems to be getting to where she's all in. With my mental health conditions, building relationships is hard for me to do.

We did end up hanging out for an hour and a half after work. She drove me to my car a few aisles over in the parking lot and we sat in her car until nearly 8am after getting off at 6:30am. If I'm trying to go slow and not have her put too much hope in me just yet, I didn't do a good job this morning. Not to kiss and tell or anything but just to give you an idea of where we are, while no sexual activity occurred, she did handle me.

I need to take her out and then we can have a good time and just talk. As for telling her about this other girl, I don't want to but I feel like I should. Not to say that I haven't lied more than a few times but I have this really strong desire to be honest with people and tell the truth so that's why I want to be upfront with her. Of course I realize that if I do want something with this woman, telling her about this other girl might not be the best course of action.

Anyway, going to head on home and pick out a movie to watch so as I walk home, I'll be thinking about what I might want to watch tonight.

You absolutely should talk to her about the other girl. Lying is NEVER a good idea. Especially at the beginning of a relationship.

[LordoftheRings]

LOTR & The Hobbit trilogies on 4K + Blu-ray ... Plus the One Ring to Rule Them All / 30-disc set ... On March 18

$210 divided by 30 = $7 per disc.
Do you really need more Peter Jackson in your movie library?
Take that $210 and invest it in AI.

[Fors*]

Originally Posted by civiclx

I don't know what I want with her right now. I just know that I don't want to end up hurting her and I don't want to be put into a position where I have to do something that will be hard for me, like letting her down. I think it's because it's going well and she seems to really want to move forward and she seems to be getting to where she's all in. With my mental health conditions, building relationships is hard for me to do.

We did end up hanging out for an hour and a half after work. She drove me to my car a few aisles over in the parking lot and we sat in her car until nearly 8am after getting off at 6:30am. If I'm trying to go slow and not have her put too much hope in me just yet, I didn't do a good job this morning. Not to kiss and tell or anything but just to give you an idea of where we are, while no sexual activity occurred, she did handle me.

I need to take her out and then we can have a good time and just talk. As for telling her about this other girl, I don't want to but I feel like I should. Not to say that I haven't lied more than a few times but I have this really strong desire to be honest with people and tell the truth so that's why I want to be upfront with her. Of course I realize that if I do want something with this woman, telling her about this other girl might not be the best course of action.

Anyway, going to head on home and pick out a movie to watch so as I walk home, I'll be thinking about what I might want to watch tonight.

OK.....I will be honest and this is just my opinion, but this sort of sounds like you are more worried about maintaining your options and how you can come out of this situation looking good than it is about the woman's feelings.

If your relationship is currently platonic with the woman you have been talking to after work in the car, then you owe her nothing at this time in explaining your love life. If you tell her about the other woman at this point, she will more than likely feel like "I am his fall back option if this other woman doesn't work out....basically I am sloppy seconds". You might feel better for "being honest".......but the cost for doing so will be her hurt feelings....and good luck with her after that.

I will go back to what I said yesterday.....you have basically made it clear the other woman is option 1....so you need to tie up this loose end (for good or bad) before you pursue anything "romantic" with the other woman you have been talking to. But IMO....I would not tell her anything about option 1 as you owe her nothing at this time (unless you are actually more than platonic).

The battle here is not so much about which girl to pursue....but how to deal with your developing guilty conscience because the woman you are talking to is developing into something more, yet you still have a romantic interest with the other woman. I say get out of limbo with the other woman you actually like (again, good or bad) and then when that dust settles, you will know your path....all without hurting anyone.

That is my 2 pennies.

[Hitman Horton]

Originally Posted by Fors*

OK.....I will be honest and this is just my opinion, but this sort of sounds like you are more worried about maintaining your options and how you can come out of this situation looking good than it is about the woman's feelings.

If your relationship is currently platonic with the woman you have been talking to after work in the car, then you owe her nothing at this time in explaining your love life. If you tell her about the other woman at this point, she will more than likely feel like "I am his fall back option if this other woman doesn't work out....basically I am sloppy seconds". You might feel better for "being honest".......but the cost for doing so will be her hurt feelings....and good luck with her after that.

I will go back to what I said yesterday.....you have basically made it clear the other woman is option 1....so you need to tie up this loose end (for good or bad) before you pursue anything "romantic" with the other woman you have been talking to. But IMO....I would not tell her anything about option 1 as you owe her nothing at this time (unless you are actually more than platonic).

The battle here is not so much about which girl to pursue....but how to deal with your developing guilty conscience because the woman you are talking to is developing into something more, yet you still have a romantic interest with the other woman. I say get out of limbo with the other woman you actually like (again, good or bad) and then when that dust settles, you will know your path....all without hurting anyone.

That is my 2 pennies.

Just reading the last post, they're relationship is NOT platonic.

[russweiss1]

Originally Posted by Driver78

I'm supposed to be receiving a 1099-K from eBay but it hasn't happened yet. This is causing me some anxiety as this is the first time I've been required to file one of these and I don't know what to expect. All I know is, for the first time ever, instead of a tax refund, I'm expecting to owe the IRS money. I can handle a couple hundred bucks but I'm screwed if it turns out I owe thousands

You can go into your seller's hub and on the far left click on taxes. The 1099-K hasn't been uploaded yet (at least on my account).

[Driver78]

Originally Posted by russweiss1

You can go into your seller's hub and on the far left click on taxes. The 1099-K hasn't been uploaded yet (at least on my account).

Thanks, found it. I still don't have mine but it does say this on one of the pages:

Not applicable for tax year 2024

Does this mean I won't get one? I certainly expected to. There's still 3 days left for the form to show up if it turns out I do owe. Weird that they would wait until the last minute. I already have my W-2 forms and could file my taxes now if I wanted to - which is what I feel like doing lol.

[Fors*]

Originally Posted by Hitman Horton

Just reading the last post, they're relationship is NOT platonic.

Well, when a relationship is not platonic, then I considered this to be a committed relationship....therefore, he is being dishonest. However, if it is anything other than a committed relationship, then I restate what I said in my previous post.

[fighthefutureofhd]

There is nothing committed about this relationship. If anything, this relationship is purely friendly with a chance for more.

Originally Posted by Hitman Horton

Just reading the last post, they're relationship is NOT platonic.

She just pulled his parking break. That's all. That doesn't make it anything more than what it is. A platonic relationship that has potential to move in other directions. It could be that all she wants is a good friend with some benefits on the side. We don't know her full intentions. It's too early to say or tell. But one thing is certain. If he tells her about the other woman, she will definitely do more than pull the parking break next time. It won't be pretty. Like Fors* said, she won't take it well. Most women wouldn't. Civicx needs to keep his mouth shut and figure out what he wants before going forward. Being honest doesn't help anyone. The fact that these two work together makes it so much worse if he spills his guts. DON'T SAY a WORD CIVICX

Originally Posted by Vilya

I am genuinely sorry that you have these difficulties. Try not to be hard on yourself. You have access to a qualified therapist, so keep working with them.

My only advice is to keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will be surprised someday how far you have travelled. Do not give up. I have always felt that perseverance is more than half the battle.

Thanks for the kind words and advice. It helps. I am working on it. Step by step.

[Hitman Horton]

I'm done with this conversation. I only stepped in because somebody had to step up for this lady. You can do what you want but I can sleep well at night because I told you to do the right thing. If you tell her, she will likely be hurt. That's correct. She'll be hurt because you weren't honest from the very beginning like you should have been. Better to tell her now and hurt her a little bit then to wait until her feelings, whatever they are, are deeper. Then you'll hurt her a lot.

[civiclx]

Originally Posted by Fors*

OK.....I will be honest and this is just my opinion, but this sort of sounds like you are more worried about maintaining your options and how you can come out of this situation looking good than it is about the woman's feelings.

If your relationship is currently platonic with the woman you have been talking to after work in the car, then you owe her nothing at this time in explaining your love life. If you tell her about the other woman at this point, she will more than likely feel like "I am his fall back option if this other woman doesn't work out....basically I am sloppy seconds". You might feel better for "being honest".......but the cost for doing so will be her hurt feelings....and good luck with her after that.

I will go back to what I said yesterday.....you have basically made it clear the other woman is option 1....so you need to tie up this loose end (for good or bad) before you pursue anything "romantic" with the other woman you have been talking to. But IMO....I would not tell her anything about option 1 as you owe her nothing at this time (unless you are actually more than platonic).

The battle here is not so much about which girl to pursue....but how to deal with your developing guilty conscience because the woman you are talking to is developing into something more, yet you still have a romantic interest with the other woman. I say get out of limbo with the other woman you actually like (again, good or bad) and then when that dust settles, you will know your path....all without hurting anyone.

That is my 2 pennies.

I will say that I am into self-preservation as much or more than anyone else. It's not very often but occasionally I do put other peoples feelings before my own. Selfishly, I don't want to be put into a position where I have to let anyone down but it's more to do with looking out for her than concern about looking like an ass.

As for her being my second option, I've thought about that. I definitely wouldn't want her to feel that way. As for being honest, I think because I'm so politically correct and tend to sugarcoat things, sometimes part of me just wants to be really honest if the truth isn't too awful lol

Pretty soon my anger will be on my mind as I'll be doing my class from 2pm to 3pm. I'm at Chili's now snacking on some chips and a Diet Coke. I think I'll go home after the class is over, maybe not right away. But I don't think I'll go anywhere else today.

[civiclx]

Originally Posted by Hitman Horton

You absolutely should talk to her about the other girl. Lying is NEVER a good idea. Especially at the beginning of a relationship.

I do agree about lying not being a good idea. I wouldn't consider me not telling her about the other girl lying. I might not be upfront with her but I wouldn't call it lying. But yes, I agree that honesty is normally the best policy.

[Fors*]

Originally Posted by civiclx

I will say that I am into self-preservation as much or more than anyone else. It's not very often but occasionally I do put other peoples feelings before my own. Selfishly, I don't want to be put into a position where I have to let anyone down but it's more to do with looking out for her than concern about looking like an ass.

As for her being my second option, I've thought about that. I definitely wouldn't want her to feel that way. As for being honest, I think because I'm so politically correct and tend to sugarcoat things, sometimes part of me just wants to be really honest if the truth isn't too awful lol

Pretty soon my anger will be on my mind as I'll be doing my class from 2pm to 3pm. I'm at Chili's now snacking on some chips and a Diet Coke. I think I'll go home after the class is over, maybe not right away. But I don't think I'll go anywhere else today.

Good luck with whatever decision you make.....I hope it works out for you.

[Hitman Horton]

Originally Posted by civiclx

I do agree about lying not being a good idea. I wouldn't consider me not telling her about the other girl lying. I might not be upfront with her but I wouldn't call it lying. But yes, I agree that honesty is normally the best policy.

I've said what I needed to say. Your response tells me everything I need to know. I spoke up for the lady because nobody else was.

[civiclx]

I need to get me a tub of cheap vanilla ice cream and a 2-liter of root beer and be able to make root beer floats anytime I want, or at least until I run out of one or the other. I think I'll get cheesecake here at Chili's and then make a root beer float tonight...or a Diet Pepsi float.

Also, someone mentioned covers. Besides GNR's cover of Knockin' On Heaven's Door, I also like Delbert McClinton's cover of Come Together and long before I had heard of The Band, I like Vince Gill's cover of their Ophelia which was on the Maverick (Mel Gibson film) soundtrack.

[LordoftheRings]

Dr. Phil?

Good chemistry, good sex and respect.

[VictoryAtNight]

[LordoftheRings]

Screenshot_20250127_124636_Facebook.jpg

[civiclx]

I’m on the bus headed to Costco to eat. I’ll get a strawberry sundae and I’m just thinking that I should have brought my Heath bits to add to the Sunday. Next time

[fighthefutureofhd]

Originally Posted by Hitman Horton

I've said what I needed to say. Your response tells me everything I need to know. I spoke up for the lady because nobody else was.

Um, I was speaking up for the lady. No lady who is older wants to hear from a guy who might be interested in her that he also has the hots for an younger, prettier woman. Saying that it will hurt her upfront but is better in the long run is not helping her at all. That just makes her trust in men go way down and that will take time to heal from. There are just things you should never a tell a woman. This is one of those things. Especially, if you barely know the woman. Not to mention the fact that she works with CivicX. if he were to tell her than it would really muck things up at work. As for the "lying", there is no lying. They are not together in any way. They are just friendly. That does not preclude her to every detail of his life. She's not entitled to that if Civix doesn't want to share. The whole point I have made all along was not to hurt this woman with information she does not need to know.

Not at this time anyway. Telling her only hurts her and can ruin her self image/esteem perhaps. Why would anyone want to hurt someone on purpose when they don't need to? It's not like her not knowing is causing any issues now anyway. The other girl is just someone he kinda likes more. But not that much more when you think about it. Or he would've done something by now. Possibly anyway. Honesty is all well and good, but sometimes you need to think about what being honest does in the long run. Which means that there are times to shut your mouth and let it be.