The "What's on your mind?" thread

[The_Donster]

Originally Posted by miribeau

Santa Claus that crap. Make a list, check it twice. Write it again, in private, at home, to help you memorize it, then keep a copy with you on Thursday. Also, if there is a register involved, tally it three times. A little yellow notepad is a heck of a lot more useful than a cell phone notepad. When you've finished, eat a cookie.

Cheers. That’s most definitely the plan on Wednesday night. The other lead is a bit better instructor at practical applications compared to the assistant manager. I don’t think he can handle me throwing multiple questions at him.

He seems to get flustered when I ask him a question when he’s going over things. I wrote a few codes down and it doesn’t seem as overly complicated outside of computer and alarm codes. The store manager said he’d swing by herself that night, but he says a lot of things lol.

Originally Posted by Mike16

I actually left my hometown for the opposite reason, to get away from family. Now we live about 1 1/2 - 2 hours from any & all relatives, and are loving it thus far.

Well, you know where I’m at there Scarriere. I’m doing my best to make this work, but I’m not sure where I’d go. I’m not overly close to my family. I’m a bit like Mike. So best I can be is a sympathetic shoulder of support on whatever decision you make. Do what’s best for you

[Captain Flint]

Originally Posted by Mike16

This was my first FFA (*free for all) weekend in months, 3 whole days of no OT at work and no work done on the houses... Quite frankly, I don't like being lazy, I have to keep busy. That said, I'm bored outta my mind right now.

I'm the complete opposite. I absolutely hate being busy. My natural habitat is my couch playing video games, watching movies and eating junk food. Naturally lazy and I wouldn't have it any other way.

[miribeau]

Originally Posted by Cinema84

Can't get over how old Linda Hamilton looks on that T6 trailer. She looks like she's pushing 80 but she can't possibly be that old, can she? Unless that was mostly makeup lol. I thought Arnie was beginning to look quite elderly in other recent films but Hamilton's got him beat. Arnie himself doesn't look old in that trailer, BTW. Must be the facial hair covering up the wrinkles

I had a different reaction.... Seeing her made me rather abnormally happy. She's only around 60 and that was not make-up. She was a solar-baby, through and through, in her glorious youth. I don't go out in the sun and use tons of sunscreen in the mornings and evenings, when there's a little light lurking out there. I look young, friend, YOUNG. People comment on it. My hands look around twenty to twenty-five years younger than I actually am.
My neck is smooth and tight. I've been careful, granted, missing out on a lot of the living she's gotten to do out there, in the UVA/UVB nightmare we all call daytime, as a result of being so careful. Seeing a world-famous celebrity, one I've always found quite beautiful, looking so much older than she is, makes me very happy. So, now you know I've got a little darkness in me.

Originally Posted by Scarriere

I'm thinking about leaving town. There's nothing really holding me to this place and I'd really rather be closer to family.
I love my hometown, but I think I'd be happier somewhere else.

Did they scatter or did they all move to a particular area, the family that would be closer to you, if you move? Do you like that area, assuming it is one area?

Originally Posted by Mike16

I actually left my hometown for the opposite reason, to get away from family. Now we live about 1 1/2 - 2 hours from any & all relatives, and are loving it thus far.

Dad and me. We separated from everyone, broke off on our own, built a new family. We have people we love, don't get me wrong, but having them nearby is too much of a burden. He and I do very well being apart from the others and adding new people as we see fit, keeping the blood-tie to just to two of us. Now, if his parents were somehow still alive, they'd be with us. But they were awesome.

Originally Posted by Mike16

This was my first FFA (*free for all) weekend in months, 3 whole days of no OT at work and no work done on the houses... Quite frankly, I don't like being lazy, I have to keep busy. That said, I'm bored outta my mind right now.

Being bored is impossible. If you look around you, right now, and take two minutes to ask what you could be doing, that would be fun or useful or both, you'll find something to fully occupy and entertain yourself. On the rare occasion I get bored for two seconds and have resolved to not do any chores, and am actually able to stick to the promise of no chores, which usually only happens on God's day, I grab a blu from the giant watch pile, lock the door, turn off the phone, and disappear into another world.

How are you bored and a member of a blu-ray forum? Where is your watch pile? What's in it?

[Scarriere]

Originally Posted by civiclx

What town do you live in again and where would you think about moving to?

I live in Yellowknife,NT, Canada.
I'm wanting to move to Edmonton,AB, Canada.

Originally Posted by The_Donster

Well, you know where I’m at there Scarriere. I’m doing my best to make this work, but I’m not sure where I’d go. I’m not overly close to my family. I’m a bit like Mike. So best I can be is a sympathetic shoulder of support on whatever decision you make. Do what’s best for you

Thank you Donster!
I only moved back here to try to make it work with my wife. That hasn't happened and likely never will. She's great and I wish it did, but it's not meant to be.

Originally Posted by miribeau

Did they scatter or did they all move to a particular area, the family that would be closer to you, if you move? Do you like that area, assuming it is one area?

Yes, they scattered, hahaha. All from here, but left one by one over the years.
Yes, I like Edmonton a lot. I was considering Leduc, a smaller town south of the city, but am now set on Edmonton.



There's much more to do down there. Movies, pubs, concerts, hockey games and a lot more. But ultimately, it's family that is the biggest reason for leaving. I have three sisters, a daughter and my two granddaughters there. One of my sons is a three hour drive from there as well.
My hometown is much better for my dogs, but we'll adapt. I'm sure they'll see the difference in my happiness and also be happier as well.
It's not gonna happen for a month or so, but I'm looking forward to it very, very much.

[miribeau]

Originally Posted by Scarriere

I live in Yellowknife,NT, Canada.
I'm wanting to move to Edmonton,AB, Canada.



Thank you Donster!
I only moved back here to try to make it work with my wife. That hasn't happened and likely never will. She's great and I wish it did, but it's not meant to be.



Yes, they scattered, hahaha. All from here, but left one by one over the years.
Yes, I like Edmonton a lot. I was considering Leduc, a smaller town south of the city, but am now set on Edmonton.



There's much more to do down there. Movies, pubs, concerts, hockey games and a lot more. But ultimately, it's family that is the biggest reason for leaving. I have three sisters, a daughter and my two granddaughters there. One of my sons is a three hour drive from there as well.
My hometown is much better for my dogs, but we'll adapt. I'm sure they'll see the difference in my happiness and also be happier as well.
It's not gonna happen for a month or so, but I'm looking forward to it very, very much.

For us, that would be a huge city, far too large. The town outside maybe, but not the city. It is a nice one, if you like cities, but it is also experiencing a great influx of people, which has it expanding. I think a couple miles outside of Leduc would be more my speed, if it were in the mountains.

[The_Donster]

Will that have any affect on your work or would you be closer Scarriere? Given that we just moved here and I’m now 5 minutes from work I’d hate to have to move and start over if we can’t make this work. Like I said, do what will make you happy. Your furbabies will be happy if you are happy.

[InuYashaCrusade]

Originally Posted by Captain Flint

I'm the complete opposite. I absolutely hate being busy. My natural habitat is my couch playing video games, watching movies and eating junk food. Naturally lazy and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Me too. I like getting out of the house for an hour or two a day but other than that I hate being busy. Unless I get a few hours of video games or movies in per day then I get grumpy. Everyone at work is over here begging for 40+ hours and I'm over saying, "can we go back to 20-25 hours please??" lol. I like being able to save up money on the busy months but it throws me off course. My sleep schedule gets screwed up and the lack of free time bothers me.

[Batman1980]

Thinking about how the inside of the screen on my 2DS brick broke somehow. I was considering fixing it but it seems like it would almost be the cost of a new system. Don't think it's any big loss as I will have a Nintendo Switch Lite soon and my 2DS XL still works great. Doubt the brick would've been anything but an emergency system so the only real loss in all of this is my Pokemon Bank access on that system and the games that were on that system like Pokemon Crystal, Yellow and Super Mario Brothers 2.

[Scarriere]

Originally Posted by The_Donster

Will that have any affect on your work or would you be closer Scarriere? Given that we just moved here and I’m now 5 minutes from work I’d hate to have to move and start over if we can’t make this work. Like I said, do what will make you happy. Your furbabies will be happy if you are happy.

Yes, it does have an affect. I'd have to fly back here the night before and get a BnB to make my flight the next day.
Or I could chance an early morning flight and make my connecting flight to work that day. I've done that before and it was close calls too many times on making my flight to work. The lady was forgiving a couple of times but said I gotta get there sooner.
I've got a great job and should try to make it work. But there's a couple of other options that are two weeks on, two weeks off that I should consider.

[Mike16]

Originally Posted by Scarriere

I've got a great job and should try to make it work. But there's a couple of other options that are two weeks on, two weeks off that I should consider.

You work a 2 weeks on / 2 weeks off rotation shift? Sounds interesting, I wouldn't mind a schedule like that... I currently work 4 on 3 off every week, which isn't too bad considering some of the jobs I've had....

[Head bugs]

Good luck and stay safe over there, Floridians.

[miribeau]

Originally Posted by Scarriere

Yes, it does have an affect. I'd have to fly back here the night before and get a BnB to make my flight the next day.
Or I could chance an early morning flight and make my connecting flight to work that day. I've done that before and it was close calls too many times on making my flight to work. The lady was forgiving a couple of times but said I gotta get there sooner.
I've got a great job and should try to make it work. But there's a couple of other options that are two weeks on, two weeks off that I should consider.

You lost me at flight. You are moving such that you will have to fly to work? Flying triggers clotting. That's why so many people have heart attacks and strokes a few days to a week after flying and why so many pilots and flight attendants and people in the air force are on low dose blood thinners year round. That's a lot of effort to put in and risk to your body. Why not just live where you can drive to work?

My grandfather, dead a long time now, high ranking, joked that the Air Force was only giving blood thinners to pilots who spent a long time at altitude, routinely, because they have to be monitored too closely, with constant blood testing. They had rules about how often a pilot could go up, not in wartime, to prevent accumulations of tiny blood clots, that can stick together and cause stroke. That was in the 1970s. I can't understand anyone still commuting by airplane. One trip, a couple times a year, you can still end up like Luke Perry, a few days off the plane, hit by a massive stroke caused by micro clots joining together, when they should have dispersed and dissolved.

I wish you luck with this, truly, but you may want to rethink the constant air travel idea.

[Head bugs]

Franco Columbu passed the other day, I didn't know he and Schwarzenegger were so close.

[miribeau]

Originally Posted by Head bugs

Franco Columbu passed the other day, I didn't know he and Schwarzenegger were so close.

I did. Then I forgot. Then I did again. Then I forgot again. They were best friends for what I had thought to be their whole lives. Hard to believe it was only 54 years. They seemed like brothers, from birth. It's very sad that he's gone.

[Head bugs]

Originally Posted by miribeau

I did. Then I forgot. Then I did again. Then I forgot again. They were best friends for what I had thought to be their whole lives. Hard to believe it was only 54 years. They seemed like brothers, from birth. It's very sad that he's gone.

He died in a bizarre, horrible way too. rip

[miribeau]

Originally Posted by Head bugs

He died in a bizarre, horrible way too. rip

It was neither bizarre nor horrible, from my perspective and, I suspect, the perspective of many who knew him. I've rarely seen an elderly and ill patient with the fortitude to swim out, away from their home and family, and just keep on going, such that no one can get to them in time. I'm not saying he did anything in particular, but I can say that I've seen many people die in many ways, at the end of a long decline, and I've rarely seen someone with the grace to literally swim out to meet their maker. My family expects that if I am ever too ill to handle it, the boat will be gone and possibly never found. I would never take my own life, under any circumstances, but I would seek God where I know he can be found, on any given day, and put my life in his hands, asking that he do what he thinks best. Franco was a good and religious man. He knew someone would meet him, wherever he ended up. I am certain they did.

[The_Donster]

Correct me if I’m wrong, but haven’t you always had to fly when headed home Scarriere? I could have swore you’ve done the wheels up countdown when making work related postings

[The_Donster]

One step forward, two steps back. Had to have another “talk” with The Mrs about where I stand in this relationship. I feel like all we’re trying to do is keep the peace and not working on our relationship. While she feels that my working on my relationship with our son is key to us making it work. I say it is the opposite. It all starts and end with us.

[miribeau]

Originally Posted by The_Donster

One step forward, two steps back. Had to have another “talk” with The Mrs about where I stand in this relationship. I feel like all we’re trying to do is keep the peace and not working on our relationship. While she feels that my working on my relationship with our son is key to us making it work. I say it is the opposite. It all starts and end with us.

Telling someone you would like them to work on their relationship with someone you both love is usually a genuine request. However, in the context of marital discord, discussions of counseling and trying this or that to improve communication, it is often a stalling or deflecting tactic. Unfortunately, there are dozens of reasons ranging from fear of communicating and then finding it doesn't work, all the way down to actually not wanting things to improve, that could be behind that deflection or stall. Counseling could help in that case.

Working on your relationship with your son will simply substitute "fixes" he wants you to make, in order to improve, and "fixes" you want him to make, in order to improve, very few of which will overlap to fixes she would ask of you or you would ask of her. Given how much of our energy children suck away, with all of the problems they cause, giving more to them is rarely the solution. I only speak from helping with others' children, finding that it taxed my home-life significantly to help, and then, in looking more closely at friends and colleagues and their lives, finding that their marriages fell apart because they never knew when to focus on each other instead of their kids. Even with all the joy they bring, giving more energy to kids is never the solution to the deadening of a marriage, if kids are being raised well and loved. The solution is the work of focusing on the marriage, independent of children, and figuring out what each person needs in order to "feel loved".

I feel loved being taken care of, having him not mind enough to complain or declare his greatness at doing those things I define as taking care of me, having him just do them and say nothing about it. I feel loved being held. I feel loved in silence, watching a movie or listening to music. I feel loved being the one most sought to spend time with. I feel loved in easy companionship and friendship. He feels loved being told he is great, he is appreciated, he is better than others. He feels loved being left alone, to do whatever it is he wants to do, not being bothered. He feels loved being king, whether it is king of the home, king of my life, king of making rules, king of all things, just being king makes him happy.

It's easy when you understand each other and accept each other, as to motivation and what makes you most happy. None of that is going to happen from you spending more time with your son or suddenly being best friends. Your son very well may want from you a completely different version of you from the version your wife wants. He may want loud, fun Dad, where she wants quiet respectful Husband.

You guys need to make some lists, not about specific gripes, but, rather, about what makes you feel connected and loved. If she says she feels loved knowing you love your son, that's fair enough, but if you were his best friend and spent all your time with him, that would not make her feel loved and I guarantee there are other things that would make her feel loved, having nothing to do with him.

Some parents love their kids, but don't get along with them. That isn't the end of the world, so long as everyone knows they are loved and always have a home and family. Some couples love each other and don't like each other. This is the end of the world. So, I hope you can get her to take the relationship you have built together, independent of any offspring or other family involvement, more seriously, and I'm sorry this is happening in your life.

[Mike16]

Originally Posted by The_Donster

One step forward, two steps back. Had to have another “talk” with The Mrs about where I stand in this relationship. I feel like all we’re trying to do is keep the peace and not working on our relationship. While she feels that my working on my relationship with our son is key to us making it work. I say it is the opposite. It all starts and end with us.

I know you didn't ask for this, and if it's inappropriate please disregard this entire post but I just wanted to say I fully agree, you and the Mrs should concentrate on your relationship first and foremost. Would it be possible for you two to take off for a weekend retreat of sorts? IIRC you're former military, do you take advantage of VA benefits? If so, look into "Strong Bonds" marriage retreats through them. The only cost to you would be travel to and from wherever the retreat is, and the fact that you have to sit in a counseling group session every day and discuss your relationship. Both my parents are retired Army, and strong bonds helped improve their 35yr crumbling marriage. Of course YMMV, but if there's a retreat near you, what do you have to lose?