The Canyons (directed by Paul Schrader and starring Lindsay Lohan)

[jvince]

Genre:
Thriller

Synopsis:
Youth, glamor, sex and Los Angeles, circa 2012.


Director:
Paul Schrader

Writer:
Bret Easton Ellis (American Psycho)

Star:
Lindsay Lohan (Mean Girls)

[Kleeberg]

Brett Easton Ellis's books are tough to make into movies. This doesn't look good at all.

youtube.com/watch?v=ior-Tw5Yzkw

youtube.com/watch?v=j7z3x53dSrE

[Snicket]

The New York Times ran an amazing article about this. I guess they had a journalist with them from start to finish. Fascinating read, I would link to it but I'm on my phone. Definitely check it out.

I don't want to see this movie, but I want to see the making of this movie.

[Hawkguy]

Originally Posted by Snicket

The New York Times ran an amazing article about this. I guess they had a journalist with them from start to finish. Fascinating read, I would link to it but I'm on my phone. Definitely check it out.

I don't want to see this movie, but I want to see the making of this movie.

This one, right? Interesting indeed :

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/13/magazine/here-is-what-happens-when-you-cast-lindsay-lohan-in-your-movie.html?smid=tw-share&_r=1&pagewanted=all

Edit: Uhh..guess that doesn't work..though it did for me at first (?)

[Snicket]

Originally Posted by CoopFilm

This one, right? Interesting indeed :

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/13/magazine/here-is-what-happens-when-you-cast-lindsay-lohan-in-your-movie.html?smid=tw-share&_r=1&pagewanted=all

Edit: Uhh..guess that doesn't work..though it did for me at first (?)

Yep, that is the one. The link is not working but a quick google search will bring it right up.

[Jumpman]

Sad article but really fascinating.

[Yoku]

Originally Posted by Snicket

There is no way they could afford film on their budget, especially with Lindsey blowing the daily wages of the crew on sushi and booze.

That article i think is a interesting read probably better than the movie itself

[Scottie]

This film was absolutely terrible.

You would think that with such films as The Last Temptation Of Christ, Obsession, Raging Bull, and Taxi Driver attached to his name, Paul Schrader would have made this very simple film a lot better, but this film is nothing short of a train wreck. I honestly should have known better before I wasted 100 minutes of my time and $7.99 for the On-Demand rental. With such people as Lindsay Lohan and a real life porn star involved, this film was doomed from the start.

The film opens up with some very simple and irrelevant shots of random movie theaters in the Los Angeles area as the credits roll. This was only the beginning of a long string of random and irrelevant moments that plague this film throughout its runtime. Some of the other honorable mentions include noting what day of the week it is (they only showed Monday and Tuesday), filming random shots of people who had no role in the movie, filming random shots of random objects (such as a painting on a psychiatrist's wall), and the random sexcapades that were present during the film.

The central premise of the entire movie is how Lindsay Lohan's character, Tara, a ditzy woman who Lindsay Lohan herself resembles, is fought over by two different men. Christian, her current boyfriend, is a rich and snobby nobody who thinks that he is a somebody because he has some money. He thinks that the world revolves around him and that he can come and go as he pleases. The other man is Ryan, a model, who Tara once dated. He has been having an affair with her for over a month and Christian is very suspicious of him. The entire movie consists of Christian being suspicious of Tara. He goes so far as to hire numerous men to follow both Ryan and Tara. One of the funniest things he did was using his internet technician to hack into both Ryan and Tara's FaceBook accounts, deleted text messages, and bank accounts. It was rather unrealistic, but then again, most of the irrelevant jargon that weighed down this film was unrealistic as well.

After that went on for about 80-90 minutes of the film, Tara decides to smarten up and leave Christian (but not until he gives her the okay to leave first!) After he does, he also asks her to give him an alibi for where he was (I won't spoil the details for you guys, but he's involved in a murder) and she (stupidly) agrees. Even after she has broke off this relationship, Christian still threatens her with "if you ever see Ryan again, blah, blah, blah, I WILL KILL HIM AND I WILL GET AWAY WITH IT!" (It's probably the funniest thing I heard in a movie all year).

The Canyons (one of the most random things you could call a film) is a perfect example of money well-wasted. I can only imagine how much time was spent writing this rather laughable script compared to the amount of money that was spent on filming, editing, and producing it.

This film is not worth anything more than 0.5 / 4 stars.

[Hawkguy]

^ I totally agree with you on this one...it was just awful.

[Scottie]

Originally Posted by CoopFilm

^ I totally agree with you on this one...it was just awful.

I honestly don't know how I tolerated it. It was so bizarre and stupid...

[Hawkguy]

Originally Posted by iScottie

I honestly don't know how I tolerated it. It was so bizarre and stupid...

Me too..it wasn't the entertaining mess I hoped for, it was just mess. I can't believe we sat through the whole thing.

-------------------------------

For anyone curious to see it, my advice would be not to waste time/money on it..

[Scottie]

Originally Posted by CoopFilm

Me too..it wasn't the entertaining mess I hoped for, it was just mess. I can't believe we sat through the whole thing.

Yeah, I thought it would have at least been tolerable, but it was like pulling teeth.

It was all over the place and not in a good way. It was the most random things thrown in to try to make the film work, but it just didn't...

Was it ever made clear whether the films they were involved with were Hollywood films or Pornography?

Also, I'm struggling to understand why anybody would invite random men over to watch you have sex with your girlfriend...it's just so...no...

[Abdrewes]

Gotta be honest, Scott: paragraph 2 perked my interest...ALOT!

[Scottie]

Originally Posted by Abdrewes

Gotta be honest, Scott: paragraph 2 perked my interest...ALOT!

When I mean random, it was the most RANDOM and irrelevant things to the entire story.

It's like if I made a movie of myself cutting grass and I randomly add in a clip of me at a 3-year-old's birthday party. That's how random.

Originally Posted by CoopFilm

I have no idea if that was made clear..

I'm struggling to understand why..just..why is this a thing. It's baffling that something so random can be so lacking in entertainment value, huh?

Yeah, there was honestly no substance or merit.

I'm not sure why they were allowed to make this haha.

[Hawkguy]

Originally Posted by iScottie

It's like if I made a movie of myself cutting grass and I randomly add in a clip of me at a 3-year-old's birthday party. That's how random.

Sounds fantastic--we need to make that

[Abdrewes]

Originally Posted by iScottie

When I mean random, it was the most RANDOM and irrelevant things to the entire story.

It's like if I made a movie of myself cutting grass and I randomly add in a clip of me at a 3-year-old's birthday party. That's how random.



Yeah, there was honestly no substance or merit.

I'm not sure why they were allowed to make this haha.

(Gotta cut the grass for the party)
I'm sure there must be some inferred meaning there. Example: the beginning of Walkabout. It kinda requires you to make sense of the juxtapositions.

I may have to see this sometime in the week. Full review possibly.

[Hawkguy]

Originally Posted by Abdrewes

I'm sure there must be some inferred meaning there. Example: the beginning of Walkabout. It kinda requires you to make sense of the juxtapositions.

I may have to see this sometime in the week. Full review possibly.

While I wouldn't recommend it... I want to read that review