Fantastic Four (2015)

[walruswarrior]

Originally Posted by octagon

Heh, that should be a nice little Get Out of Jail Free card for all the people who swore up and down they would never ever ever see this but will be dissecting it frame-by-frame twenty minutes after its released.

"oh, no, I didn't pay for this craptacular disaster, I just like strawberry Crush a lot'

Personally I'm a Grape guy myself.

[GP Legend]

I didn't know they made a strawberry crush.

[MrBlonde]

Originally Posted by DisneyBlu;10955521[B

]Same bad photoshop they've been using with her in all the posters and ads. [/B]

But hey, good news is if someone doesn't want to spend money on Fantastic Four, they can spend money on Crush soda instead and get a ticket to see this for free.

Ah. I haven't really payed too much atattention, so I haven't noticed.

[DisneyBlu]

Problem with the official synopsis.

FANTASTIC FOUR, a contemporary re-imagining of Marvel’s original and longest-running superhero team, centers on four young outsiders who teleport to an alternate and dangerous universe, which alters their physical form in shocking ways. Their lives irrevocably upended, the team must learn to harness their daunting new abilities and work together to save Earth from a former friend turned enemy.

Johnny Storm was never, ever, never ever, an outsider. Unless you consider good looking, cool, popular, women-always-hanging-off-of-him to be an outsider, Johnny Storm was never an outsider.

And neither was Sue Storm.

Or Ben Grimm, pre-transformation.

The only one that could apply to is Reed (of the Ultimate comics).

[DisneyBlu]

In addition to Crush soda, Fantastic Four will have tie-ins with Denny's restaurants.

Fantastic Four And Denny's Are Bringing Clobberin' Time To Your Stomach

Following on their unholy pacts with The Hobbit movies, Denny’s has lined up a new cross-promotional menu designed to make you feel moderately bad about yourself while eating while advertising a movie. The Fantastic Four are heading to Denny’s, and they’re bringing “Thing Sauce” with them.

Sadly, some of the intense wackiness of the Hobbit menus are not to be found in this new Fantastic Four-themed menu (dubbed the “Slamtastic 4” menu, so you know we’re already off to a great start) but we’re still left with some hilariously weird/terrible comic book food mashups. Each member of the team gets a signature dish except for, strangely enough, Mr. Fantastic. I guess they couldn’t come up with something as an equivalent to “can stretch his limbs and stuff.” (Surely noodles or spaghetti? Denny’s, call me! Let’s work this out!).

Sue Storm gets the “Invisible Woman Slam”:



Nothing says invisibility like... fruit pancakes? I almost wish they just charged you for an empty plate for the terrible joke.

Meanwhile, the Human Torch gets the “Human Torch Skillet”:



Which is appropriately dotted with jalapeños, because, you know, fire and stuff. As our own Ria Misra said upon hearing about this, “I just don’t think anything you order off a Denny’s menu should have the word “human” in it at all.” I’m also sad that this skillet does not have the same sort of radioactive glow the Hobbit food did, which would actually work here!

So far, so lazy for the Fantastic Four/Denny’s crossover, but it’s at least, err, saved a little by “The Thing Burger”:



First off, the good thing. Great— or should I say fantastic — use of a cheddar bun to give a decidedly Thing-ish texture. Less great? Well, here’s the description, emphasis mine:

Hand-pressed beef patty topped with hash browns, an Egg cooked to order, Cheddar Cheese, two crispy Bacon strips, and punch-packing Thing Sauce. Served on a Cheddar bun with our wavy-cut french fries.

Oh god, Thing Sauce. What is Thing Sauce? What makes it “punch-packing”? Why does “Thing Sauce” sound like something you’d hear about in an adult Fantastic Four parody? Who in their right mind wants to consume something slathered in Thing Sauce?? I have so many questions, and all the potential answers terrify me.

At this point, the menu decides to just give up the pretence of creativity altogether, giving us the “I dunno, let’s say there’s four different things are in this because Fantastic Four” items that are the “Fantastic Four-Cheese Omelette” and the “Fantastic Four-fruit smoothie”, but there is one final piece of weirdness: The Doctor Doom Lava Cake.



The blogger thing in the movie was bad enough, but really, Denny’s? This is all you can do for the all-caps glory that is Victor Von Doom? Surely Lava cake would be a Johnny Storm joint. WHERE IS THE RICH COMMITMENT TO THE LORE OF THE FANTASTIC FOUR IN THIS MENU, DENNY’S. WHERE.

Interested in a dining experience that is probably the closest you’ll get to experience the feeling the Fantastic Four went through when they were blasted by cosmic radiation and got their powers? Denny’s Fantastic Four menu will be available from June 23rd.

http://io9.com/fantastic-four-and-de...e-t-1711993352

I hope they don't have a picture of naked Thing next to "Thing Sauce" on the menu...

[MrBlonde]

"The Slamtastic Four"

[DanTheMan]

Denny's

[GorillaGuy]

Laughed out loud pretty hard like 5 different times while reading that article

Thing sauce

[DisneyBlu]

Some of the best comments from that article:

This burger bears as much resemblance to The Thing as this movie does to The Fantastic Four...

LOL! Really? The cocky character has a giant sausauge on his plate?

I went to Red Robin yesterday and saw they have a Terminator Genisys burger. Jalapeño bun, jalapeño sauce, sliced jalapeños, avocado, pepper jack cheese, bacon, and I think there was a beef patty in there somewhere. My rectum burned just reading it.

Doom could not wait for the purity of the fudge in the lava cake to cool and in his haste, scarred his tongue in a megalomaniacal quest for flavor. Now he tastes only rubber and hate for RICHARDS!!!

IT’S CHEDDARBUN TIME

Christ, it could have at least been “The Doctor Doom Lava-veria Cake”.

Denny’s: Not Someplace You Go, Someplace You End Up™

Nothing says, “I’m going wait to see this movie on Netflix,” like a promotional tie in with Denny’s.

[mrrant_33]

Fantastic Four.
The movie experience that allows you to simultaneously rot your teeth, clog your arteries and lower your expectations for a proper adaptation.

[Dalekbuster523Bluray]

Originally Posted by DisneyBlu

Problem with the official synopsis.



Johnny Storm was never, ever, never ever, an outsider. Unless you consider good looking, cool, popular, women-always-hanging-off-of-him to be an outsider, Johnny Storm was never an outsider.

And neither was Sue Storm.

Or Ben Grimm, pre-transformation.

The only one that could apply to is Reed (of the Ultimate comics).

More proof that Josh Trank knows nothing about the characters whatsoever...

I can see this going either way with the critics, though. Either they'll love it as they did Batman Begins (although Batman Begins WAS a great movie whereas there's no chance I'd enjoy this one) or they'll hate it for all the reasons why those of us don't like the idea don't like it.

[imsounoriginal]

Fox knows they've got a turd on their hands, can't even market this decently or get good promotional tie-ins.

[toddly6666]

Originally Posted by DisneyBlu

In addition to Crush soda, Fantastic Four will have tie-ins with Denny's restaurants.

Fantastic Four And Denny's Are Bringing Clobberin' Time To Your Stomach



http://io9.com/fantastic-four-and-de...e-t-1711993352

I hope they don't have a picture of naked Thing next to "Thing Sauce" on the menu...

I thought this was a joke article from The Onion.

[Dalekbuster523Bluray]

Originally Posted by imsounoriginal

Fox knows they've got a turd on their hands, can't even market this decently or get good promotional tie-ins.

Perhaps they should rename it 'The Failure Four'?

[spiderfan1985]

You know? I actually went to Denny's during their Hobbit menu for Desolation of Smaug. I liked it. Late night/early morning because I was working 3rd shift at the time. But this just looks… wow. I'm sure the food might taste fine, but this is really lazy for a tie-in. The movie itself looks extremely iffy so. I may see it and may not. I may wait for Blu, but I just hope I can get at least a little enjoyment from it. And that Thing Burger looks suspiciously like the Smaug's Fire Burger which I tried and liked. It also used the cheddar bun. But THING SAUCE? Uh… yeah… I'll leave that one for someone else to mine the various connotations of the word sauce.

[Captain Flint]

Zero interest in this film. Hated the first two and this reboot looks like hot garbage. I very rarely judge movies based on their trailers, I always go see them and then judge them but this movie looks like trash.

[avecha]

Originally Posted by dantheman89

Denny's

What movie is this from?

[Lehnhart]

Originally Posted by avecha

What movie is this from?

Easy A

[spectre08]

The Thing Burger is definitely going to happen next time I'm drunk, no doubt about it

[Tony208]

The Thing has no crotch and now Denny's is serving Thing sauce?

Don't eat at Denny's.