Having a baby, with my EX

[Blu-Benny]

Originally Posted by Orange Green Tea

LOL that's probably how this happened.

just wasn't quick enough!!

[Orange Green Tea]

Originally Posted by Blu-Benny

just wasn't quick enough!!

lol that doesn't work. to think so leads to issues like this.

[Hatter]

Originally Posted by CoMaToast

Thanks man. I always am a guy to take responsibilities foe my actions. But when I feel like I got tricked into giving her a paycheck for the next 18 yrs every month , I'm not gonna be the nice guy about things as I usually would

I don't want to be mean but tricked is not the word I'd use. False sense of security seems more like it.

It takes two you know. Where was your proactive preventative methods of using a good old condom just in case since no birth control method is 100% reliable even if taken?

I do hope you're able to get a working relationship going with her for the sake of the child.

[Orange Green Tea]

Originally Posted by Hatter

I don't want to be mean but tricked is not the word I'd used. False sense of security seems more like it.

It takes two you know. Where was your proactive preventative methods of using a good old condom just in case since no birth control method is 100% reliable even if taken?

I know right?

[Marcus Wright]

[DetroitSportsFan]

Originally Posted by CoMaToast

Not knowing anything about this. What do you mean by " back support" ? And what needs to be done now? Paternity test I'm assuming is the first thing? Trust me. She's already goig after money.

Back support means that meter starts running the moment the child is born. If you don't pay regularly, the bill keeps climbing and eventually when the bill gets high enough, you will have a warrant put out for your arrest. Here in Michigan, nonpayment of child support is a felony.

Yes, get a paternity test ASAP after the child is born.

[CoMaToast]

Originally Posted by Hatter

I don't want to be mean but tricked is not the word I'd use. False sense of security seems more like it.

It takes two you know. Where was your proactive preventative methods of using a good old condom just in case since no birth control method is 100% reliable even if taken?

I do hope you're able to get a working relationship going with her for the sake of the child.

Already got this lecture in the blame game by her. And I know I messed up , but in this case deceit is worse than or equal to stupidity.

[DetroitSportsFan]

Originally Posted by Orange Green Tea

lol that doesn't work. to think so leads to issues like this.

Sure it does. My wife and I have been together almost 9 years, never used birth control (except in the very beginning) and she has been pregnant twice. Both pregnancies were 100% planned. All it takes is some willpower and a disciplined penis.

As for the OP's situation, I always believed that you never have unprotected sex unless you're 100% sure you will be with her in the long term.

[CoMaToast]

Originally Posted by DetroitSportsFan

Back support means that meter starts running the moment the child is born. If you don't pay regularly, the bill keeps climbing and eventually when the bill gets high enough, you will have a warrant put out for your arrest. Here in Michigan, nonpayment of child support is a felony.

Yes, get a paternity test ASAP after the child is born.

Honestly I thought child support DID start when the child was born/taken home and after a court case determining the amount she will get. I doubt ahe will have a written agreement that it will start and end at any certain point

[linkgx1]

Originally Posted by DetroitSportsFan

Sure it does. My wife and I have been together almost 9 years, never used birth control (except in the very beginning) and she has been pregnant twice. Both pregnancies were 100% planned. All it takes is some willpower and a disciplined penis.

As for the OP's situation, I always believed that you never have unprotected sex unless you're 100% sure you will be with her in the long term.

Did you use like, a whip or belt or something?

[Blu-Benny]

Originally Posted by DetroitSportsFan

Sure it does. My wife and I have been together almost 9 years, never used birth control (except in the very beginning) and she has been pregnant twice. Both pregnancies were 100% planned. All it takes is some willpower and a disciplined penis.

As for the OP's situation, I always believed that you never have unprotected sex unless you're 100% sure you will be with her in the long term.

i gotta agree. we've had 2 planned pregnancies w/success, 3 actually if u count the miscarriage my wife had when we were trying for a 3rd.

we always used a condom and just to be extra precautious, i'd never do anything inside her just incase the condom broke.....which happend more times than i cared for.

[Orange Green Tea]

Originally Posted by Blu-Benny

i gotta agree. we've had 2 planned pregnancies w/success, 3 actually if u count the miscarriage my wife had when we were trying for a 3rd.

we always used a condom and just to be extra precautious, i'd never do anything inside her just incase the condom broke.....which happend more times than i cared for.

Better safe than sorry dude. The only 100% way to prevent kids is no sex.

Any form of contraceptive comes with a chance of pregnancy, albeit some have lower chances than others.

[linkgx1]

This is scaring me, I think I'm just gonna get married. Then have babies to tell you guys to

[linkgx1]

Originally Posted by Orange Green Tea

Better safe than sorry dude. The only 100% way to prevent kids is no sex.Any form of contraceptive comes with a chance of pregnancy, albeit some have lower chances than others.

You can always chop your parts off.

[1blufan]

Look at the positive man, you've got a little one that's coming along no matter what. You can't change anything from the past, so don't dwell on all the bullsh*t she's pulled, start preparing for the future. No court will give 100% custody to one parent over the other unless certain circumstances come out during a court hearing.
This is kind of like a divorce case, each state has different rules, pertaining to child support and such.
Be the best dad you can and love your child, your ex has nothing to do with you becoming a fantastic dad.
Like other posters have stated it sounds like she's coming at you a little bit so your best bet is to get all this stuff worked out in a court system if you two can't come to a legitimate term. Be the bigger person and try not to fight with her, if she wants to fight and argue with you, just tell her when she wants to talk reasonably we will talk, if not you both will be going around in circles until the baby comes along. Don't get into crap with her family, this is yours and hers child, and nobody else's. Unless you think it might not be yours, but you have to watch out with this, it will piss her off if you come at her with I don't even know if the childs mine.
The most important thing is Congrats, there's nothing like becoming a father and playing a role in developing your kid.
By the way, I've been with my girlfriend for over 10 years, we've hit some hard times over the years and she then floored me with I'm pregnant. The whole time I though she was on birth control. She never told me she was no longer taking it. After the initial shock I became very excited for having a child. I'm 38 and my little girl is almost 4 months old and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Even with all the crap that happened I figured what was the point of holding onto this frustration and anger for not being informed she was no longer on birth control.
Keep your head up !!! You'll be just fine. It's just overwhelming at first.

[Louisville Slugger]

This thread scares me, but best of luck man!

[Elandyll]

imo

1) get info about legalities, consult with lawyer if possible (some advice helplines are free I believe)
2) see / talk with Ex, if there is any chance to make it work
3) paternity test at birth. Do not sign paternity papers until you are sure, it'd be a mess

-> if no father, you are clear.

-> if father, time to work it out either of two way.

a) Raising with her (jointly or separately): Can you work it out?
b) fight her for full or partial custody .

For either a or b, please consider what is best for the child, not for yourself
If you believe that staying with her would be harmful for the child (on a physical or emotional level), then it's worth fighting (legally) over imo

[jkwest]

best thread of 2011


good luck, mate.

[bhampton]

When you mention all the crazyness of your ex, I have to wonder... how do you know it's supposed to be yours?

I think you could have reasonable doubts. If it's not yours then you may be very lucky so that you can walk away from a crazy situation.

I'm not suggesting you evade but you should be concerned about the possibility.

Every girl will claim she hasn't been with anyone else period. Actual statistics show they all lie about this type of thing. It's a purity thing or something. I wonder how a person in her situation proceeds if you just leave it to her to prove it is yours.

Ok... I googled this up a bit for ya... check this...

You have to wait until the baby is born, petition the father in family court for a DNA test...then the test will be done at a specific location with all three of you...after that you will meet back in court to officially hear the results (results will be mailed home to you as well)...at that point, the judge will establish legal paternity and child support. Visitation is another separate court hearing.


Man... I would tell her to go get that kind of stuff and prove it's yours. If she whacko crazy like you say and you don't like her tell her to come back with the DNA test and don't bother you till then.

If it comes up as yours.... then step right up and take all the responsability you can. If not... Tell her to bother the real baby-daddy.



-Brian

[Orange Green Tea]

Time to go on Maury!