This was just absolutely horrible. Was so disappointing in everything. Only Kiefer and Sting cracked me up. It was a huge waste of time and space. I do think this will be my worst movie of the year when all is said and done.
Just got done watching and I agree with you. As of now, it's the worst movie I've seen this year.
The original movie was clearly an overstretched, zany SNL skit...but with a lot of charm. It was a light-hearted, fluffy bit of light relief that was quite clever in its witty take-down of the glitzy celebrity/fashion world. At the centre of this ridiculously glossy ham fest was the dynamite duo of the blonde, hippy-esque, Hansel, and the brunette, Tom Cruise-esque, Derek Zoolander. Both vacant, narcissistic, world famous male models clashing head to head for the grand number one spot in the fashion universe. Oh as a side plot, the evil Mugatu was trying to use Zoolander in order to assassinate a world leader. So what has changed for this belated sequel? well not much frankly. The plot actually follows in the same steps as before with Zoolander once again quitting the modelling world and then once again being forced back into it, this time to gain custody of his son. At the same time, Hansel has done pretty much the same thing and is also dragged back into the modelling world after his orgy partners all turn up pregnant. Both are invited back to 'civilisation' by the mysterious Billy Zane who is apparently still looking for that big break back into Hollywood (just like the original). Oh and Mugatu is still up to his old tricks.
I think the first thing that hit me was how lame the jokes were, I mean really seriously lame and forced. Within the first ten minutes of the film Billy Zane hands Zoolander his Netflix, 'whoa! Jack Ryan...and Jack Reacher! Tonight's gonna be a total jack-off'. Are you groaning? you must be, surely you must be! Remember now, within the first ten flippin' minutes! Anyway as you can imagine things don't really get any better than that for the rest of the run time. There are barely any moments that did make me actually smile, the main one being the death sequence of Justin Bieber which I'm sure came at the top of most people's list. Another was a quick quip from a news report at the start of the movie, where the reporter speaks about the 3.7 million high school graduates of 2016 not knowing what a fax machine was, and couldn't name a caucasian President.
The only other oddly amusing things that stood out (stood out in the sense that they were mocking modern society) was Benedict Cumberbatch playing some weird, eyebrow-less, mono-sexual/pan-sexual...model person, who claims not to be confined by binary constructs and has married himself (mono-marriage, is that actually a thing?? really wouldn't surprise me). It was strangely realistic considering today's current trends, as was both Zoolander and Hansel hesitantly agreeing to it all, not liking labels and supporting it all etc...And then you had the character of Don Atari who was pretty much the face of modern youth I guess. You're not suppose to understand half of what he says because he speaks in this modern youth tongue that's kinda like speaking in reverse, whilst taking the piss out of everything 'old'. Highly annoying, I know that's the idea but nonetheless, highly annoying.
The rest of the movie is completely stuffed with one big cameo after another as if you were watching some millionaires fanboy flick (I suppose you are). Zoolander has a son who of course turns out to be fat and ugly, whilst also resenting him for not being a good father. Mugatu once again has some evil, dastardly, Bond-esque scheme to...well I'm not sure really, kill all the leading people in the fashion industry I think it was. This involves kidnapping Zoolander's son under the guise of some ancient prophecy about the fountain of youth in order to lure all the bigwigs of fashion to one place...or whatever. And Hansel...doesn't really do anything except help out here and there or have breakdowns over his pregnant orgy family. Basically Hansel is replaced by Valentina Valencia played by Penelope Cruz in a stereotypically spoof Bond-esque role. Hell everything here is a stereotypical Bond spoof, its basically Austin Powers with loads of cameos.
Of course the movie isn't supposed to be remotely serious, its virtually a spoof, and in terms of hitting its targets...well I guess it does. The problem is none of this is funny anymore, apart from the odd lone gag its all terribly cliched, bloated, self-indulgent and cringeworthy. I mean come on! I've never seen so many cameos, but what for?? they don't add anything to the movie, they don't make it funnier or cooler, they just stick out as, at times, badly crowbarred in cameos. This movie really did feel like a sketch that had been padded out tremendously, the only remaining plus points that spring to mind are the inclusion of Ariana Grande in a latex catsuit and hood, and Milla Jovovich looking hot as hell in her Dominatrix attire. So for mature and adolescent male boner fuel...full marks! For witty social commentary...half marks, everything else..dross.
I saw it awhile ago in my theater setup. I think the movie is still a worthwhile view and maybe even repeated one too. My biggest gripe with the film is they tried too hard to be dumb. The first film felt like a natural story of famous idiot models and enjoyed the overall Dumb Blonde joke that it was. Repeat viewings always seem to show me something new to laugh at that i would miss from my other viewings. That is how feel towards this sequel that i will see something new that wasn't noticed before. The whole thing with Sting was great. I burst out laughing when his "My father was taken by 'The Police'" line was completed by his reveal. So if i have to go by my one viewing so far. I give the movie a 3/5 with possible room to grow
I saw it awhile ago in my theater setup. I think the movie is still a worthwhile view and maybe even repeated one too. My biggest gripe with the film is they tried too hard to be dumb. The first film felt like a natural story of famous idiot models and enjoyed the overall Dumb Blonde joke that it was. Repeat viewings always seem to show me something new to laugh at that i would miss from my other viewings. That is how feel towards this sequel that i will see something new that wasn't noticed before. The whole thing with Sting was great. I burst out laughing when his "My father was taken by 'The Police'" line was completed by his reveal. So if i have to go by my one viewing so far. I give the movie a 3/5 with possible room to grow
I thought the first half was good, but the second half ruined the whole film.
Zoolander 2 is a dire, dire sequel to one of the most hilarious films of the last 20 years. It is almost hard to believe the extent to which co-producer, co-writer, director, and star Ben Stiller has miscalculated this belated second chapter of his fashion-industry lampoon, the unpleasant crux of which is the obsolesce of the title character and Owen Wilson's Hansel in a meaner, more imbecilic, more fast-paced modern world. Stiller and co. commit nearly every comedy-sequel sin, such as recycling previously strong gags almost beat for beat, and they deliver the uninspired result at maximum volume. Rare is so thinly imagined a film also this overwrought; it punishes in its desperation to please, to never slow down, to cover every base. It also leans heavily on celebrity cameos, which it believes are amusing in and of themselves. "Here is Sting. There is Willie Nelson. Here is Ariana Grande. There is Katy Perry. Dying of laughter yet? THESE PEOPLE ARE WELL-KNOWN!" More than once, the film even pauses to call attention to its cameo coups, lest anyone not recognize, say, Marc Jacobs or Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour. Only Will Ferrell, briefly reprising the elaborately haired role of fashion-designer-cum-Bond-antagonist Mugatu, lands a few comic punches. I wish I never saw this film, to be honest, because the first is a major point of nostalgia and sentimentality for me. This sequel cannot retroactively ruin its forebear, but it does turn Zoolander into a blemished brand rather than a standalone gem.
I'll admit I did laugh out loud a few times and some jokes really landed, however for the most part this is an extremely sloppy sequel. The plot is all over the place and it gets more and more convoluted as it goes along (not in a good way, more in a "we don't really know what we're doing and making this up as we go along" way). They really needed to refine the jokes and plot here and make this tighter. It could have been a winner but it really doesn't hold up to scrutiny. So many odd choices here. Plus, Kristen Wiig is entirely wasted (could have been a great character but they really trashed that idea with the idiotic "reveal" at the end) and Fred Armisen plays a really strange role as a CGI child. Worth a Redbox rental or see it on Netflix.
2.5/5.
[Show spoiler]Zoolander 2 is a dire, dire sequel to one of the most hilarious films of the last 20 years. It is almost hard to believe the extent to which co-producer, co-writer, director, and star Ben Stiller has miscalculated this belated second chapter of his fashion-industry lampoon, the unpleasant crux of which is the obsolesce of the title character and Owen Wilson's Hansel in a meaner, more imbecilic, more fast-paced modern world. Stiller and co. commit nearly every comedy-sequel sin, such as recycling previously strong gags almost beat for beat, and they deliver the uninspired result at maximum volume. Rare is so thinly imagined a film also this overwrought; it punishes in its desperation to please, to never slow down, to cover every base. It also leans heavily on celebrity cameos, which it believes are amusing in and of themselves. "Here is Sting. There is Willie Nelson. Here is Ariana Grande. There is Katy Perry. Dying of laughter yet? THESE PEOPLE ARE WELL-KNOWN!" More than once, the film even pauses to call attention to its cameo coups, lest anyone not recognize, say, Marc Jacobs or Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour. Only Will Ferrell, briefly reprising the elaborately haired role of fashion-designer-cum-Bond-antagonist Mugatu, lands a few comic punches. I wish I never saw this film, to be honest, because the first is a major point of nostalgia and sentimentality for me. This sequel cannot retroactively ruin its forebear, but it does turn Zoolander into a blemished brand rather than a standalone gem.
I was going to post a review but this sums up my feelings pretty well.
It's far too reliant on cameos and throwback jokes. Cameos were crammed in and purely for the sake of shock value. The first film was also full of them but they were integrated well (
[Show spoiler]i.e. Bowie hosting the walk-off, Kravitz accepting the award, Natalie Portman's red carpet opinion
). References to the original were either unfunny (
[Show spoiler]new milk ad
) or misused (
[Show spoiler]Zoolander and Penelope Cruz share a Mugatu-Todd stare
). I knew going in that the film will at the very least provide a handful of amusing Zoolander moments. Still, the fact that those few moments were all the film amounted to was disappointing.
All countries
Argentina
Austria
Belgium
Brazil
Bulgaria
Chile
China
Colombia
Cyprus
Czech Republic
Estonia
Denmark
Finland
Greece
Hong Kong
Hungary
Iceland
Indonesia
Ireland
Israel
India
Latvia
Lithuania
Malaysia
New Zealand
Norway
Philippines
Poland
Portugal
Romania
Russia
Singapore
South Africa
South Korea
Sweden
Switzerland
Taiwan
Thailand
Turkey
Ukraine
United Arab Emirates
Hybrid Mode
