Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland (Spoilers)

[Idioteque...]

Originally Posted by Foggy

I think Sleepy Hollow is stupid and daft, I like Sweeney Todd, Chraile I'm split on.

I thought you said it was okay eh?

The hate for Sleepy Hollow is ridiculous. It's from being a stupid film. It's quite smart and quite fun. It's not the greatest movie ever made, but it is probably the best adaptation of the original story. Though I feel they should have kept him a school teacher like he was in AKW's script.

[Foggy]

Originally Posted by Idioteque...

I thought you said it was okay eh?

The hate for Sleepy Hollow is ridiculous. It's from being a stupid film. It's quite smart and quite fun. It's not the greatest movie ever made, but it is probably the best adaptation of the original story. Though I feel they should have kept him a school teacher like he was in AKW's script.

I do think it is a stupid and daft, the first transformers is stupid and daft and that's ok

[Ashamed Pegasus]

There's a new featurette trailer online...

http://www.apple.com/trailers/disney/aliceinwonderland/

[kurtis21]

Originally Posted by idioteque...

i thought you said it was okay eh?

The hate for sleepy hollow is ridiculous. It's from being a stupid film. It's quite smart and quite fun. It's not the greatest movie ever made, but it is probably the best adaptation of the original story. Though i feel they should have kept him a school teacher like he was in akw's script.

+10000

[Michael1989]

Alice In Wonderland Review - Robbie Collin brands it "Hat-rocious"

Source.

IT'S not often that you can start a film review quoting the wisdom of Orlando Bloom.

But Alice in Wonderland is a strange case.

As Elf-features himself once said in his film Elizabethtown: "There's a difference between a failure and a fiasco. A failure is simply the non-presence of success. Any fool can accomplish failure.

"But a fiasco? A fiasco is a disaster of mythic proportions."

And readers, that's Alice in Wonderland for you - a bona fide, bums-in-the-air fiasco that needs to be burned and the ashes hurtled off in the direction of the nearest black hole as soon as you can, NASA.

In fact it's Lesbian Vampire Killers bad - the kind of film that you don't just dislike or even hate, but one that your body physically rejects like a dodgy organ transplant.

I know it sounds extreme. After all, this is a much-touted, mega-budget, 3D spectacular from none other than Tim Burton and Disney, starring a host of family favourites.

So let me explain. Set 15 or so years after the original Alice adventures, this film stars Mia Wasikowska as a 19-year-old Alice who remembers nothing of her first trip down the rabbit hole.

In the middle of an embarrassing marriage proposal, she flees to the woods, tumbles down the hole again and learns it is her destiny to kill the Jabberwocky, dethrone the Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter) and return power to her White sister (Anne Hathaway).

In 2008, when Tim Burton chose Mia to play Alice, she had never acted in a big feature film before. And that remains true to this day.

Cos bejaysus - there's not been a lead character this paper-flat since the South Park movie.

The girl's got all the warmth of a refrigerated trout, and a face you'd expect to see Blu-Tacked to the inside of a London phone box. She's not a heroine - she looks like she's ON heroin.

She wanders through Wonderland - which has been renamed Underland for no good reason.

Flailing

And along the way she meets the expected cast of characters played by famous names in full-on, blazing-egos, celeb-cameo mode. Paul Whitehouse does his See You Jimmy voice as the March Hare, and Alan Rickman texts in his five-or-so lines as the Caterpillar. Matt Lucas is Tweedledum and Tweedledee - two fake-looking CGI lumps with half a personality between them. And Stephen Fry plays the Cheshire Cat (the only beast in fiction smugger than him).

All of them use funny-voice humour - where you get a wacky accent in place of actual gags.

But worst of all - and it pains me to say it - are Johnny Depp and Helena.

Johnny's Mad Hatter is a flailing, pointless idiot whose Scottish accent comes and goes like Ashley Cole on a US tour. It's the worst part he's played in his life.

And whoever thought up his "breakdance" should be dragged out into the street and given the Saigon Execution treatment.

Then there's Helena. She's Burton's missus so that's probably why he found it too hard to breathe those words that no husband wants to say to his wife:

"Stop doing a seventh-rate impression of Queenie from Blackadder II and put some bloody EFFORT into it, woman."

Now on to the special effects. Oddly, for a kids' film, there are THREE instances of someone getting spiked through the eyeball. By the third time, Burton's managed the peculiar trick of being disgusting AND boring at the same time.

The 3D's cack, too. Remember Avatar and Up, with their long, graceful, tracking shots that drew you right into the picture? Well, there's none of that here.

Instead you get flat-looking people slightly in front of a flat-looking backdrop, and the occasional pointy thing shoved in your face - all cut together at a speed that'll snap your retinas.

Because while Burton knows how to make a 2D movie look good, he plainly doesn't understand that the same techniques can sink a 3D one.

Burton on his A-game is a force to be reckoned with. Think Sweeney Todd, Edward Scissorhands and Batman Returns.

But if there is a letter 26 places past Z, that's the type of game he's on here.

So let me call it now: Alice in Wonder- land - the most disappointing film of 2010.

And just call me the Mad Hater.

Verdict: Chunderland * (Out of 5*)

It's harsh, but the scariest part is, 9 times out of ten he's usually right. So I guess it may end up being a flop afterall.

[tarik]

OUCH thats pretty stinging

[Beast]

I kinda had concerns that it was gonna be more along the lines of Planet of the Apes and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.... than Burton's more brilliant work. And it seems to be the case. Now I think I might wait til it hits DVD. Cause it just sounds terrible. Even the trailers have been uninspiring.

[P@t_Mtl]

Harsh review I am still not sure if I will go and see it or not. Recently I am more and more willing to skip certain movies as they just become more and more horrible. I do not mind CGI and effects but stories are just lacking too much in many movies in the last 5 years.

[Q?]

Originally Posted by P@t_Mtl

Harsh review I am still not sure if I will go and see it or not. Recently I am more and more willing to skip certain movies as they just become more and more horrible. I do not mind CGI and effects but stories are just lacking too much in many movies in the last 5 years.

I don't like what I see in the trailer and I don't like the visual look.

Agree about what you said.

[Foggy]

Originally Posted by Michael1989

Alice In Wonderland Review - Robbie Collin brands it "Hat-rocious"

Source.



It's harsh, but the scariest part is, 9 times out of ten he's usually right. So I guess it may end up being a flop afterall.

well I don't agree with him most the time, but it sounds the way I think it going to be. I did agree with him with Public Enemies.

Keep in mind he gave New Moon 4 stars

[Idioteque...]

Originally Posted by Michael1989

Alice In Wonderland Review - Robbie Collin brands it "Hat-rocious"

Source.

It's harsh, but the scariest part is, 9 times out of ten he's usually right. So I guess it may end up being a flop afterall.

To be honest seemed like the guy wanted to hate it from the beginning. I'm not going to criticize his insults until I've seen the film but I don't trust this guy's opinion.

Originally Posted by Foggy

well I don't agree with him most the time, but it sounds the way I think it going to be. I did agree with him with Public Enemies.

Keep in mind he gave New Moon 4 stars

That's all we needed to know.


I think I'm going to finish reading the novel this week. I like how they accept the original in continuity of this one. It's the only reason I accept this movie because it's doing what Star Trek is doing. It's a sequel that's not ignoring what has happened but it's also a reboot.

[Foggy]

Originally Posted by Idioteque...

To be honest seemed like the guy wanted to hate it from the beginning. I'm not going to criticize his insults until I've seen the film but I don't trust this guy's opinion.

He had it on his most anticipated list for 2010, though

[casablanca3]

Originally Posted by Foggy

well I don't agree with him most the time, but it sounds the way I think it going to be. I did agree with him with Public Enemies.

Keep in mind he gave New Moon 4 stars

Hahaha hilarious and people like/listen to this guy? I was super stoked for Alice before but now I know for sure that it will rock

[Foggy]

Originally Posted by Idioteque...

Well he gave New Moon 4 stars. His opinion is automatically fail.

well yeah but if he had alice on his most anticipated that means he wasn't going in automaticly hating it.

[Idioteque...]

Originally Posted by Foggy

well yeah but if he had alice on his most anticipated that means he wasn't going in automaticly hating it.

Well I accept that. He probably thought this was going to be a film that appeals to his tweeny bopper brain.

The Mad Hatter being weird? SAY IT AIN'T SO!

[Foggy]

Originally Posted by Idioteque...

Well I accept that. He probably thought this was going to be a film that appeals to his tweeny bopper brain.

The Mad Hatter being weird? SAY IT AIN'T SO!

he didn't say he was weird, he said he was flailing pointless idiot.

Before I go on, I do have my doubts about the film, I feel like it looks to be WOW LOOK AT ALL THIS SHIT FLYING AT YOU!!!!!and low on story, especially considering it's changing the story to alice goes back to wonderland, so they can change it to an adventurous movie.

I hope it's fun, and the story is good enough, but the film seems to be less story and more flashing colours and fast moving items.

[casablanca3]

It is going to be one awesome crazy ass trip!!! I am not expecting The Godfather here, just one hell of a cool and wild ride!

[P@t_Mtl]

Originally Posted by Foggy

I hope it's fun, and the story is good enough, but the film seems to be less story and more flashing colours and fast moving items.

I tought this was about Alice and not Avatar

I am sure this will be popular. When a movie like Avatar make's over $2 billions at the box office, I can expect pretty much anything now

[Foggy]

Originally Posted by P@t_Mtl

I tought this was about Alice and not Avatar

I am sure this will be popular. When a movie like Avatar make's over $2 billions at the box office, I can expect pretty much anything now

I don't think it will be as popular as you'll think, I think it will flunder rather like A Christmas Carol did, they relased that far to early, and lost out on a lot of money. They releasing this, while children are still at school, makes no sense. Disney really need to think of better times to release movies.

[casablanca3]

Originally Posted by Foggy

I don't think it will be as popular as you'll think, I think it will flunder rather like A Christmas Carol did, they relased that far to early, and lost out on a lot of money. They releasing this, while children are still at school, makes no sense. Disney really need to think of better times to release movies.

I am betting $70-80 million opening weekend. It will get a huge boost from the Imax and 3D theaters it is taking away from Avatar.