The Dating Advice Thread

[Louisville Slugger]

I think I am going to get this hoodie:

https://teessing.com/146916446-12157...SABEgKyVPD_BwE

lol...

[jayman3]

Originally Posted by Louisville Slugger

I think I am going to get this hoodie:

https://teessing.com/146916446-12157...SABEgKyVPD_BwE

lol...

Yep. I've been told, "you're like the brother I never had."

[Batman1980]

Originally Posted by Erzengel

I always said that personality can go a long way but attraction at least gets your foot in the door.

There's nothing wrong with wanting someone to be pleasant on the eyes.

From my experience girls don't really talk to guys they're not at least a little attracted to so it works both ways.

[jayman3]

Originally Posted by Batman1980

From my experience girls don't really talk to guys they're not at least a little attracted to so it works both ways.

We need some female opinions in here. I'd like to hear it from both sides.

[civiclx]

I always used to say, and you can figure I either mean it to be self-deprecating or I'm being conceited and I'm saying it to be self-deprecating and I'm being honest, I could get a lot of girls because of my looks but I could never keep them because of my personality. Besides being really insecure, I'm also just boring as **** and have absolutely no edge to me at all. I'm just me and me kind of sucks

Also...I have to be careful with what thoughts I share because I do care a bit about not sounding conceited...but I've had a lot of girls approach me and obviously you would think it has to do with my looks but I've also thought, "if I was REALLY good looking, maybe girls would be too intimidated to come up to me. I wish I was THAT good looking" lol

[civiclx]

Originally Posted by jayman3

We need some female opinions in here. I'd like to hear it from both sides.

Well we have lots of them in this particular forum even if they have a twig and berries

[Erzengel]

Originally Posted by jayman3

We need some female opinions in here. I'd like to hear it from both sides.

I've seen really attractive girls with guys who aren't on their level. I known quite a few couples like that. It seems they either make them laugh, or are just very good to them (not talking financially).

Some women and men, looks are very important, some not so much. It just depends on the woman or the man.

Everyone is different.

[Blu-Benny]

I know plenty of people where the wife is way hotter than the husband.

while looks do play a role in a relationship......there has to be some kind of attraction between the 2 people........it's not the ONLY thing that comes into play.

in the long run.....looks fade, who the person is on the inside will always be there.

one thing to always remember, not everyone has the same taste when it comes to looks. I'm the only guy in my group of friends that finds Kaley Cuoco gorgeous. what 1 person finds attractive can be a turnoff to the next person. so to assume/think you have to be this amazingly hot person to even have chance to talk to a woman is

[civiclx]

I'll admit that I sometimes have trouble remembering that different people have different tastes. I'm not putting her down but there seem to be a few guys that really think JLaw is hot. Not just Kip and Batman but she has a few admirers here and I don't see it at all. I mean if someone says she's cute, ok sure. But to think she's beautiful, I don't get.

I also tend to think that if someone can get a really attractive girl, then they should be able to get an average looking girl. I know I'm wrong in my thinking but it's like if a guy can get Minka Kelly, then he should definitely be able to get Blake Lively.

Also I think most women love a confident man so if there is a man that is lacking in looks but you would never know from his attitude, I think that can go a long way.

[jayman3]

Shit.....I know this girl who I'm friends with on Facebook. We've never actually met in person (as in face to face) but I have passed her by in the hallway once or twice while at college. We used to go to the same campus. Since then she's moved to Tampa.

However, we've been Facebook friends for six years now. I talk to her daily for hours on end. Sometimes we'll converse for more than four hours without a break. And that's late into the night (our conversations are most active between 9pm-3am). We share such a deep and powerful connection. A bond I never felt before with another person. Her and I both acknowledge this.

The issue here is she got out of an abusive relationship that last four years; so a new relationship isn't exactly on her mind. She is extremely dedicated to education and work. Which doesn't leave much personal hang out time. It's like we both know we're meant for each other but neither of us will say it.

I flirt with her all the time. She claims she's oblivious to someone flirting with her. But I don't buy it as she plays along too. So I told her, "you're the ideal woman I'd love to date." And she said, "I think that's a premature statement to make as you might not like me in person."

What do you make of that, and what should I do?

[civiclx]

I'd just ask her out jayman. Tell her how you feel, how you think you guys have a connection and how you should meet up and then take it from there.

[jayman3]

Originally Posted by civiclx

I'd just ask her out jayman. Tell her how you feel, how you think you guys have a connection and how you should meet up and then take it from there.

Every time we do make plans to see each other, they are never carried out.

She's either too busy with class or I'm occupied with errands. It also makes it difficult how we live two hours apart.

[civiclx]

Originally Posted by jayman3

Every time we do make plans to see each other, they are never carried out.

She's either too busy with class or I'm occupied with errands. It also makes it difficult how we live two hours apart.

Oh, I didn't realize you guys live that far from each other. Hmm, ask her to move in with you. Problem solved!

[Erzengel]

Originally Posted by jayman3

The issue here is she got out of an abusive relationship that last four years; so a new relationship isn't exactly on her mind. She is extremely dedicated to education and work. Which doesn't leave much personal hang out time. It's like we both know we're meant for each other but neither of us will say it.

I flirt with her all the time. She claims she's oblivious to someone flirting with her. But I don't buy it as she plays along too. So I told her, "you're the ideal woman I'd love to date." And she said, "I think that's a premature statement to make as you might not like me in person."

What do you make of that, and what should I do?

Originally Posted by jayman3

Every time we do make plans to see each other, they are never carried out.

She's either too busy with class or I'm occupied with errands. It also makes it difficult how we live two hours apart.

Think she has some baggage.

Probably poor self esteem brought on by being in an abusive relationship.

Personally, I've wanted a gf since I was 6 year old, and I could still name every girl I had a crush on from 1st grade to when I went on my first date. My quest to meet someone always surpassed everything else.

But I've known people like your friend, school/work/career would always be tantamount to everything else.

So even if you put all your energy into trying to go and see her, she would still need to put the effort.

I'd just make sure you put the option out there to meet up, BUT, I would still be looking around.

[jayman3]

Originally Posted by Erzengel

Think she has some baggage.

Probably poor self esteem brought on by being in an abusive relationship.

Personally, I've wanted a gf since I was 6 year old, and I could still name every girl I had a crush on from 1st grade to when I went on my first date. My quest to meet someone always surpassed everything else.

But I've known people like your friend, school/work/career would always be tantamount to everything else.

So even if you put all your energy into trying to go and see her, she would still need to put the effort.

I'd just make sure you put the option out there to meet up, BUT, I would still be looking around.

Definitely. She's one to keep on the backburner and in the meantime continue looking elsewhere as I've been doing.

Like, she's not my 'top priority.' Besides, the current college where I go to is dominated by females. They're close to 70% of the student population. So I have plenty of choices.

[civiclx]

I think about all sorts of stuff. That's why I've created this thread but surprisingly I've kept pretty quiet.

So she's on the backburner. She's not your priority. So what if you did end up having a relationship with her? Would you feel guilty that you had her in a relationship with a guy who didn't consider her a priority. I'm only busting your balls because I do the exact same thing to myself.

[dallywhitty]

Originally Posted by jayman3

We need some female opinions in here. I'd like to hear it from both sides.

Speaking for my missus: we attended the same Film Studies classes and she was attracted to me pretty much from the get-go (she's told me as such, so I'm not being big-headed, I promise!). She knew my favourite film was Blade Runner and deliberately picked the 'Tears in Rain' scene to study as she expected it would gauge my attention. Later she sat next to me with the bullshit excuse that her usual seat was occupied and we ended up working on the same project together.

Seven years later, we're engaged and living together, accompanied by a cat, a dog, a syrian hamster, a leopard gecko, and a degu. Obviously looks play a big part in a relationship - it's no good if you're not attracted to your significant other - but I think it's also important to have similar interests, mutual respect and trust, and it also helps if you're best friends. We were friends for several months before anything actually progressed, so you don't necessarily have to approach a woman with a dating mindset. Sometimes things just happen.

[Louisville Slugger]

Originally Posted by dallywhitty

Speaking for my missus: we attended the same Film Studies classes and she was attracted to me pretty much from the get-go (she's told me as such, so I'm not being big-headed, I promise!). She knew my favourite film was Blade Runner and deliberately picked the 'Tears in Rain' scene to study as she expected it would gauge my attention. Later she sat next to me with the bullshit excuse that her usual seat was occupied and we ended up working on the same project together.

Seven years later, we're engaged and living together, accompanied by a cat, a dog, a syrian hamster, a leopard geckon, and a degu. Obviously looks play a big part in a relationship - it's no good if you're not attracted to your significant other - but I think it's also important to have similar interests, mutual respect and trust, and it also helps if you're best friends. We were friends for several months before anything actually progressed, so you don't necessarily have to approach a woman with a dating mindset. Sometimes things just happen.

This is my dream. Blade Runner is my favorite film as well.

[BizCat]

You can do it!

[Blu-Benny]

Originally Posted by jayman3

Shit.....I know this girl who I'm friends with on Facebook. We've never actually met in person (as in face to face) but I have passed her by in the hallway once or twice while at college. We used to go to the same campus. Since then she's moved to Tampa.

However, we've been Facebook friends for six years now. I talk to her daily for hours on end. Sometimes we'll converse for more than four hours without a break. And that's late into the night (our conversations are most active between 9pm-3am). We share such a deep and powerful connection. A bond I never felt before with another person. Her and I both acknowledge this.

The issue here is she got out of an abusive relationship that last four years; so a new relationship isn't exactly on her mind. She is extremely dedicated to education and work. Which doesn't leave much personal hang out time. It's like we both know we're meant for each other but neither of us will say it.

I flirt with her all the time. She claims she's oblivious to someone flirting with her. But I don't buy it as she plays along too. So I told her, "you're the ideal woman I'd love to date." And she said, "I think that's a premature statement to make as you might not like me in person."

What do you make of that, and what should I do?

I'd call her on it and say you want to meet and be proven wrong.

as for being too busy w/errands, if you think it's worth the time and effort to pursue a relationship, make the time.