The "What's on your mind?" thread

[BizCat]

Originally Posted by Mike16

My wife and I just started seeing a marriage counselor and it's doing wonders for us. I was never a believer that counseling actually helps but I'm being proved wrong. One of our "lessons" so far basically tells us arguments/fights so long as not physical is actually a good thing-who knew?

Best to be on the same page.

[Hitman Horton]

Originally Posted by The_Donster

Yeah, I don’t buy that “another era” jive. Lots of people in my family were divorced growing up. So I’d say their successful marriage is based on the points they’ve made on it recently. And let’s be clear, there are more good marriages than bad. You just hear about the bad ones more. Like life in general.

My parents, an aunt and an uncle all divorced when I was younger...over thirty years ago. I agree that it has nothing to do with a different era. A successful marriage is a lot of work and sometimes people just don't want to put it the work. This is not a reflection on The Donster's situation because there are many reasons marriages don't work.

Originally Posted by Mike16

My wife and I just started seeing a marriage counselor and it's doing wonders for us. I was never a believer that counseling actually helps but I'm being proved wrong. One of our "lessons" so far basically tells us arguments/fights so long as not physical is actually a good thing-who knew?

It's true. Arguing is good for a marriage. You argue because you care. When you stop arguing you know you're in trouble. I'm glad that councelling is working out for you and your wife.

[Hitman Horton]

Originally Posted by Cinema84

Congratulations! My parents were married for 45+ years (my mom passed last year). You guys come from another era, a time of ideals and massive social change. It made sense to hook up in those days and many are still together. It sort of doesn't make sense now. A lot of people get married for the financial security, as a means of escape or even for the novelty. Love is NOT part of the equation.

One more thought for you. You say you love your dog but you're not going to marry him/her. Do you plan on getting rid of it. My guess is no. Since that is the case, you will be together "till death do you part."

[RageATL]

Originally Posted by civiclx

I'm thinking about getting a portable Bluetooth speaker but I don't really need one that badly. I kind of want one though and you know how it is when you decide that you want something...

I have like five of these things, love 'em. I have a problem with stuff like that, I tend to buy different ones, same with pairs of headphones around the house.

[RageATL]

Originally Posted by Cinema84

Congratulations! My parents were married for 45+ years (my mom passed last year). You guys come from another era, a time of ideals and massive social change. It made sense to hook up in those days and many are still together. It sort of doesn't make sense now. A lot of people get married for the financial security, as a means of escape or even for the novelty. Love is NOT part of the equation.

This is an extremely jaded and skewed view of marriage as a whole and while I certainly disagree with it, you're allowed to have your own opinion so I hope you enjoy the path you have chosen/choose. That being said, to insist that love is not part of the marriage equation and expect folks to accept that is kinda silly, but what do I know, I'm a happily married dude who loves his wife, so...

[RageATL]

Originally Posted by Mike16

My wife and I just started seeing a marriage counselor and it's doing wonders for us. I was never a believer that counseling actually helps but I'm being proved wrong. One of our "lessons" so far basically tells us arguments/fights so long as not physical is actually a good thing-who knew?

My ex-wife found a counselor when things starting going sideways for us and we went a bunch of times. Needless to say it didn't help that particular marriage but I have always been a proponent of counseling and stayed with it throughout my divorce as I believed in/liked my counselor and the work we were doing. Once the divorce was final, I kept at it as a single dude as it helped me to cope in this new world I was now a part of. Welp, fast forward 9 years...I'm still attending with the same counselor from all those years ago, we still make progress and I am happily married again. I truly believe that if I hadn't kept at it, put in the work and as I like to say, "dug through my shit" and process all of the necessary feelings and emotions, I would not be where I am today. I get that it's not for everyone, but I do believe that everyone should give it at least a solid try for a while to see if it takes. I feel as though people owe it to themselves to do so. I think the world would be a better place if more folks did which is why I am all for getting past the old stigma that mental health used to be improperly labeled with. End of rant.

[Dustin44]

Originally Posted by The_Donster

Apparently my son was a Deatheater, tattoo and all. I haven’t seen pictures. So I’m not sure

In lighter news. We are getting a divorce. So I need to start looking for a place. Hopefully I can find something affordable around here. Since this is where I work. Anyway, going to get cleaned up and check out a couple of places before I head into work.

Wow, sorry to hear that, Donster.

[RageATL]

Originally Posted by RageATL

In general, it seems that the friends my wife and I surround ourselves with have just been acting funny lately, like everyone all at once and it's palpable, nothing we're making up or being delusional about. Almost like it's an environmental type thing, like it's written in the stars or it's some kind of Seasonal Affective Disorder-type thing during this time of the year. It's wild.

Welp, this might be the culprit (and yes I do believe in this type of shit ):

Mercury in retrograde:

It's when the inner planet Mercury appears to go in a backwards motion, and it's happening now, as of today. In fact, it's happening for the third time this year: October 31 through November 20, 2019. February 17 through March 10, 2020.

[Member-222782]

Originally Posted by RageATL

This is an extremely jaded and skewed view of marriage as a whole and while I certainly disagree with it, you're allowed to have your own opinion so I hope you enjoy the path you have chosen/choose. That being said, to insist that love is not part of the marriage equation and expect folks to accept that is kinda silly, but what do I know, I'm a happily married dude who loves his wife, so...

What I meant to convey is that love should be the reason people choose to marry but it's not. People marry for the reasons I gave. I'm not totally against marriage; in fact, I actually hope to tie the knot someday but I'm not psychologically ready to give up my independence and share my life with another person. I don't know, maybe I'll never be ready

[RageATL]

Originally Posted by Cinema84

What I meant to convey is that love should be the reason people choose to marry but it's not. People marry for the reasons I gave. I'm not totally against marriage; in fact, I actually hope to tie the knot someday but I'm not psychologically ready to give up my independence and share my life with another person. I don't know, maybe I'll never be ready

My bad, I must have misunderstood. Either way, we're cool, I just wanted to chime in with my two cents cuz believe you me, after my divorce, I pretty much swore off getting married again. Long story short, I met a fantastic woman who through just being the loving person she is, changed my mind about a LOT of things and ideas that I was steadfastly resolute in upholding. I wish you luck in the future on this front.

[Hitman Horton]

Originally Posted by Cinema84

What I meant to convey is that love should be the reason people choose to marry but it's not. People marry for the reasons I gave. I'm not totally against marriage; in fact, I actually hope to tie the knot someday but I'm not psychologically ready to give up my independence and share my life with another person. I don't know, maybe I'll never be ready

You really didn't do a good job of expressing yourself at the time. I would think that people do marry for love, or what they think is love at that time. I really think people should live togetherfirst. That's when you really get to know somebody.

As for you...never say never. You might think you're not ready but you may meet the right person tomorrow that will change that. Stranger things have happened.

[getinfotricks]

Happy to join

[civiclx]

If I had a million dollars, I'd blow it all on Coq...Le Coq Sportif that is.

[The_Donster]

Originally Posted by Dustin44

Wow, sorry to hear that, Donster.

All for the best my friend, but thank you

Originally Posted by Hitman Horton

You really didn't do a good job of expressing yourself at the time. I would think that people do marry for love, or what they think is love at that time. I really think people should live togetherfirst. That's when you really get to know somebody.

As for you...never say never. You might think you're not ready but you may meet the right person tomorrow that will change that. Stranger things have happened.

I totally agree with this and add, you have to like the other person. Not just love them, but like them. That’s where the real happiness is to me. As far as never getting married Cinema84. I had a friend who felt the same way who recently got married. So as Hitman Horton said, never say never.

[sk33tr]

Originally Posted by getinfotricks

Happy to join

welcome aboard

[Xtempo]

My brother says he cares but damn, why can't he go to meetings or help more with understanding my mental illness. Instead of becoming my Guardian and not understanding a damn or even care. I am not him and I frankly am my own person and existence which He seems to want me to be more like him and not like me.

We need better Mental Health awareness and understanding in this country. even within families.

[RageATL]

Originally Posted by Xtempo

My brother says he cares but damn, why can't he go to meetings or help more with understanding my mental illness. Instead of becoming my Guardian and not understanding a damn or even care. I am not him and I frankly am my own person and existence which He seems to want me to be more like him and not like me.

We need better Mental Health awareness and understanding in this country. even within families.

Ugh sorry to hear this. Having someone's understanding when you're struggling with something like that is paramount. I hope he comes around and sees your side.

And YES, YES WE DO!!!

[Hitman Horton]

Originally Posted by The_Donster

All for the best my friend, but thank you



I totally agree with this and add, you have to like the other person. Not just love them, but like them. That’s where the real happiness is to me. As far as never getting married Cinema84. I had a friend who felt the same way who recently got married. So as Hitman Horton said, never say never.

It sounds weird but that really is true. You have to like the person and that takes time to develop.

[y2jman]

so we all know my story direct tv streaming issues stopped working since sept 5th

I finally, went by at and t store today gave them piece of paper I type up the other night the young buck chatted with direct tv and talked to a representive on phone

there is something matter on direct tv side watch online streaming its not me their system is jacked up apparently when they updated system I guess on sept 5th? they mess stuff up doing other folks god forbids why I had to wait 3 months to finally get the ball rolling I don't know

anyways women on phone said 24 hours well still not working<-I went over there around 3:30 and left around 4 I don't know if I need to call the at and t store tomorrow speak to guy or wait until Friday?

he said he will get to the bottom of this seems at and t and direct tv are 2 peas in a pod since a normal person customer care direct tv is sorry esp on phone language situation

[BizCat]

Black Friday on my mind... I need some money!!