Am I in the Friend Zone? - Blu-ray Forum

MCT · 03-01-2010, 07:29 AM

I feel so lame making a thread about something like this, but here goes.

Known this woman for about a year and a half now. We've been on a couple of dates, have talked on the phone extensively during this timeframe, but I've never kissed or done anything intimate with her up to this point. We used to work together for about half the time, so thats why it took me awhile to even go on a date with her (didn't want to complicate things too much). Well a few months ago, I asked her to accompany me to NYC for a wedding I'm going to, and she said that she'd like to but she just got into a relationship, and didn't think he'd like that. So she's been with this guy for about 5 months now, and yet, she calls me day and nite. We talk more than I'd like to admit, honestly.

So today I got bold and out of the blue asked her if she'd like to come over and watch a movie with me. Again, she said that she couldn't do that because she has a boyfriend, which I respected. Bottom line is, I'm very attracted to this woman, but she will not do anything with me as long as she is with this guy, yet she calls me relentlessly, in fact I think I talk to her more than she does to her man. I kept thinking maybe it's because she's interested and wants to see if I really like her, but then I realized how selfish and inconsiderate of her that would be, so its more likely that she sees me as confession booth. I think I'm fixed firmly in the friend zone and there's no escaping it. This is starting to piss me off because I would hate to just distance myself from her, but if we're going to be nothing more than plutonic friends, I don't want to waste my time, yet on the same token, I don't want to break it off when there could be a minute chance that she DOES like me. Guys, what do yall think I should do?

curse · 03-01-2010, 07:46 AM

Come forth and tell her how you feel. As you said your wasting time so the games need to stop. In her eyes though, yeah your in the friend zone for sure. But i wouldn't let this go on any further, just lay it out and see how the domino's fall.

Lord_Stewie · 03-01-2010, 08:51 AM

why don't you just tell her how you feel. worse case scenario this relationship would be over. Just tell her.

I had a similar situation with my current girlfriend as well. She was dating and I came forward to her about it. at first her response was weird about it, and I felt like I even lost her as a friend. But things have a way of working out.

Jwilly019 · 03-01-2010, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lord_Stewie

why don't you just tell her how you feel. worse case scenario this relationship would be over. Just tell her.

I had a similar situation with my current girlfriend as well. She was dating and I came forward to her about it. at first her response was weird about it, and I felt like I even lost her as a friend. But things have a way of working out.

I've had an experience similar to Stewie's. She was dating someone else, long-term too, but broke it off because of feelings she had for me. I guess I'm a home wrecker.

Anyway, I'd just tell her how you feel. You said it yourself, you don't want to waste your time, so what do you have to lose?
Justin

Moefiz · 03-01-2010, 12:34 PM

I agree with everyone else, just tell her ow you feel, try to do it in person if you can that way you can see the reaction on her face when you tell her.The worst that can happen is that you will loose her as a friend but its a gamble you should take..

Q? · 03-01-2010, 12:48 PM

Yeah tell her flat out, rather that than just being friends which you obviously can't keep doing.

Either way it's a win-win situation, though the possibility of loosing her isn't so much of a "win", but it is a good step of getting out of it and move on.

good luck dude.

P@t_Mtl · 03-01-2010, 12:52 PM

I agree with everyone else, tell her how you feel.

mikejet · 03-01-2010, 12:59 PM

This remind me of a famous IRC quote:

Quote:

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

Rantlers · 03-01-2010, 01:02 PM

I disagree, telling her how you feel will only scare her away and ruin your friendship. It's obvious you're in the friend zone, best thing to do is date other girls and make sure she knows it. It's still a long shot, best of luck.

MaCruz · 03-01-2010, 01:06 PM

She has a BF yet she still calls you day and night? I don't know. Tough call for sure. Seems to me you're next in line if the other relationship doesn't work out.

Q? · 03-01-2010, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rantlers

I disagree, telling her how you feel will only scare her away and ruin your friendship. It's obvious you're in the friend zone, best thing to do is date other girls and make sure she knows it. It's still a long shot, best of luck.

It's obvious that he spends A LOT OF ENERGY on her, this could be a good ultimatum and just move on if it doesn't work out.

Steve · 03-01-2010, 01:40 PM

You can't keep going like you are. It's apparently driving you nuts, and at some point something will be said or done that's going to cause problems. The relationship in its current form is doomed to failure. I say lay all your cards on the table and see what happens. If she's into you then great. If she's not, that's too bad, but at least you'll know.

Teabaggins · 03-01-2010, 01:41 PM

she wasn't into you because you don't have any balllzzzz, sorry.

example: We've been on a couple of dates, have talked on the phone extensively during this timeframe, but I've never kissed or done anything intimate with her up to this point.

women as much as they don't like to admit it, like to be dominated a bit and are attracted to/ aroused by aggressive/jerkwad-ish men.

it's a part of their genetic make up, they feel attractive when a guy grabs them by the back of the neck, I suggest you try it once in a while.

she keeps calling you because she knows you are a "sure thing" if things don't work out with this other guy who may be a bit out of her league.

you are Plan "B"(at best), possibly even lower.

Steve · 03-01-2010, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Teabaggins

she wasn't into you because you don't have any balllzzzz, sorry.

example: We've been on a couple of dates, have talked on the phone extensively during this timeframe, but I've never kissed or done anything intimate with her up to this point.

women as much as they don't like to admit it, like to be dominated a bit and are attracted to/ aroused by aggressive/jerkwad-ish men.

it's a part of their genetic make up, they feel attractive when a guy grabs them by the back of the neck, I suggest you try it once in a while.

she keeps calling you because she knows you are a "sure thing" if things don't work out with this other guy who may be a bit out of her league.

you are Plan "B"(at best), possibly even lower.

OMG I'm sitting at my computer trying to stop laughing.

Beta Man · 03-01-2010, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MCT

I think I'm fixed firmly in the friend zone and there's no escaping it.

Marry her...... that will get you out of the "Friend" zone really quick!

seriously though.... I probably wouldn't say anything either...... but the minute she's not in a relationship, you gotta get more aggressive with "game"

MaCruz · 03-01-2010, 01:50 PM

MCT,

Just like others stated. Just lay it all down, and tell her how you feel. The worst thing you can receive back is a "NO".

DetroitSportsFan · 03-01-2010, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Teabaggins

she wasn't into you because you don't have any balllzzzz, sorry.

example: We've been on a couple of dates, have talked on the phone extensively during this timeframe, but I've never kissed or done anything intimate with her up to this point.

women as much as they don't like to admit it, like to be dominated a bit and are attracted to/ aroused by aggressive/jerkwad-ish men.

it's a part of their genetic make up, they feel attractive when a guy grabs them by the back of the neck, I suggest you try it once in a while.

she keeps calling you because she knows you are a "sure thing" if things don't work out with this other guy who may be a bit out of her league.

you are Plan "B"(at best), possibly even lower.

Agreed.

OP, tell her how you feel, and if she doesn't feel the same way, stop wasting your time.

And yes, it appears that you're in the friend zone.

jw · 03-01-2010, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Seems to me you're next in line if the other relationship doesn't work out.

Like a barbershop, Next!!

reminds me of the blu-ray I got in the mail the other day

Teabaggins · 03-01-2010, 02:45 PM

Just Friends is highly underrated. the first 1 hour is hilarious but it loses much steam near the end. Chris Klein is awesome in it as well.

I've seen it many many times, the wife loves it too.

Jwilly019 · 03-01-2010, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikejet

This remind me of a famous IRC quote:

That's a hilarious quote, I'll be saving that one.

Justin

03-01-2010, 07:29 AM	#1
MCT Blu-ray Ninja Member since:Nov 2008 Blu-ray collection:499 Blu-ray reviews: 8 Trading Score:1	Am I in the Friend Zone? I feel so lame making a thread about something like this, but here goes. Known this woman for about a year and a half now. We've been on a couple of dates, have talked on the phone extensively during this timeframe, but I've never kissed or done anything intimate with her up to this point. We used to work together for about half the time, so thats why it took me awhile to even go on a date with her (didn't want to complicate things too much). Well a few months ago, I asked her to accompany me to NYC for a wedding I'm going to, and she said that she'd like to but she just got into a relationship, and didn't think he'd like that. So she's been with this guy for about 5 months now, and yet, she calls me day and nite. We talk more than I'd like to admit, honestly. So today I got bold and out of the blue asked her if she'd like to come over and watch a movie with me. Again, she said that she couldn't do that because she has a boyfriend, which I respected. Bottom line is, I'm very attracted to this woman, but she will not do anything with me as long as she is with this guy, yet she calls me relentlessly, in fact I think I talk to her more than she does to her man. I kept thinking maybe it's because she's interested and wants to see if I really like her, but then I realized how selfish and inconsiderate of her that would be, so its more likely that she sees me as confession booth. I think I'm fixed firmly in the friend zone and there's no escaping it. This is starting to piss me off because I would hate to just distance myself from her, but if we're going to be nothing more than plutonic friends, I don't want to waste my time, yet on the same token, I don't want to break it off when there could be a minute chance that she DOES like me. Guys, what do yall think I should do?

03-01-2010, 12:48 PM	#6
Q? Blu-ray Ninja Member since:Dec 2008 Location:Nuuk, Greenland Blu-ray collection:168	Yeah tell her flat out, rather that than just being friends which you obviously can't keep doing. Either way it's a win-win situation, though the possibility of loosing her isn't so much of a "win", but it is a good step of getting out of it and move on. good luck dude. Last edited by Q?; 03-01-2010 at 01:01 PM.

03-01-2010, 01:41 PM	#13
Teabaggins Blu-ray Samurai Member since:Aug 2008	she wasn't into you because you don't have any balllzzzz, sorry. example: We've been on a couple of dates, have talked on the phone extensively during this timeframe, but I've never kissed or done anything intimate with her up to this point. women as much as they don't like to admit it, like to be dominated a bit and are attracted to/ aroused by aggressive/jerkwad-ish men. it's a part of their genetic make up, they feel attractive when a guy grabs them by the back of the neck, I suggest you try it once in a while. she keeps calling you because she knows you are a "sure thing" if things don't work out with this other guy who may be a bit out of her league. you are Plan "B"(at best), possibly even lower. Last edited by jw; 03-01-2010 at 02:33 PM.

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03-01-2010, 07:46 AM	#2
curse Active Member Member since:Jul 2008 Blu-ray collection:147 Blu-ray reviews:15	Come forth and tell her how you feel. As you said your wasting time so the games need to stop. In her eyes though, yeah your in the friend zone for sure. But i wouldn't let this go on any further, just lay it out and see how the domino's fall.

03-01-2010, 08:51 AM	#3
Lord_Stewie Blu-ray Baron Member since:May 2007 Blu-ray collection:396 Blu-ray reviews:1 Trading Score:1	why don't you just tell her how you feel. worse case scenario this relationship would be over. Just tell her. I had a similar situation with my current girlfriend as well. She was dating and I came forward to her about it. at first her response was weird about it, and I felt like I even lost her as a friend. But things have a way of working out.

03-01-2010, 12:34 PM	#5
Moefiz Blu-ray Knight Member since:Jul 2007 Blu-ray collection:288 DVD collection:20 Blu-ray reviews: 15 Trading Score:70	I agree with everyone else, just tell her ow you feel, try to do it in person if you can that way you can see the reaction on her face when you tell her.The worst that can happen is that you will loose her as a friend but its a gamble you should take..

03-01-2010, 12:52 PM	#7
P@t_Mtl Blu-ray Duke Member since:Sep 2008 Location:Montreal Home Theater Gallery:4 Blu-ray collection:452 DVD collection:513 Trading Score:3	I agree with everyone else, tell her how you feel.

03-01-2010, 01:02 PM	#9
Rantlers Special Member Top contributor Member since:Feb 2008 Location:USA 4K collection:1 Blu-ray collection:114 Trading Score:86	I disagree, telling her how you feel will only scare her away and ruin your friendship. It's obvious you're in the friend zone, best thing to do is date other girls and make sure she knows it. It's still a long shot, best of luck.

03-01-2010, 01:06 PM	#10
MaCruz Community Gaming Moderator Top ranked HT gallery Top contributor Member since:Mar 2009 Location:Jacksonville, FL Home Theater Gallery:160 4K collection:104 Blu-ray collection:958 DVD collection:18 MA collection:394 Digital collection:570 iTunes collection:527 Prime collection:192 Blu-ray reviews: 23 Trading Score:139	She has a BF yet she still calls you day and night? I don't know. Tough call for sure. Seems to me you're next in line if the other relationship doesn't work out.

03-01-2010, 01:40 PM	#12
Steve Blu-ray Knight Top ranked HT gallery Top contributor Member since:May 2008 Location:Anna, TX 4K collection:128 Blu-ray collection:416 Trading Score:41	You can't keep going like you are. It's apparently driving you nuts, and at some point something will be said or done that's going to cause problems. The relationship in its current form is doomed to failure. I say lay all your cards on the table and see what happens. If she's into you then great. If she's not, that's too bad, but at least you'll know.

03-01-2010, 01:50 PM	#16
MaCruz Community Gaming Moderator Top ranked HT gallery Top contributor Member since:Mar 2009 Location:Jacksonville, FL Home Theater Gallery:160 4K collection:104 Blu-ray collection:958 DVD collection:18 MA collection:394 Digital collection:570 iTunes collection:527 Prime collection:192 Blu-ray reviews: 23 Trading Score:139	MCT, Just like others stated. Just lay it all down, and tell her how you feel. The worst thing you can receive back is a "NO".

03-01-2010, 02:45 PM	#19
Teabaggins Blu-ray Samurai Member since:Aug 2008	Just Friends is highly underrated. the first 1 hour is hilarious but it loses much steam near the end. Chris Klein is awesome in it as well. I've seen it many many times, the wife loves it too.

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