MGM offers "Something for the Pirates"

[Darth Lavender]

MGM offers "Something for the Pirates"

FAKENEWS EXCLUSIVE!

"MGM, in a move that has surprised speculators, is bringing 2 classic horror movies to Blu-Ray in a remarkable new "Pirates Only" edition.
Where the traditional DVD market has aimed its releases predominantly at paying customers (encouraging support for the studios and artists) MGM is offering "Carrie" and "The Amityville Horror" exclusively to the morally bankrupt.
Fake Guy, speaking for the studio, explained the move thus; "We want to give the pirates a little exclusive. So, to get around the legal hurdles, these disks are technically going to be 'for sale' in stores but we're discouraging the legitimate buyers by removing all the extras and pushing the price up to about 3 times that of a DVD"
Opponents of the move, have argued that it might not be entirely successful; Another Fake Guy at Fox argued "We've been trying that for years. But the thing you have to realise, is that these people are idiots. Hell, we even sold some copies of Commando at the full $40 RRP... and then the fools went and bought a DVD, too, to get the extras "

One of my naive (and fake) colleagues in the (fake) newsroom asked why the studios would be interested in this approach. I put the question to Fake Guy;
"We'll, here's the thing about paying customers. Look, I mean, they're kind of like a cheap hooker, you know? I love screwing them, but in the end that's all they are. You make 'em swallow, and you leave. You certainly don't respect a cheap hooker and, frankly, if I saw one dying in a ditch I'd laugh and maybe sell him a dvd.
"But I like the pirates. We joke together sometimes," he started to giggle, "We put these non-fastforwardable 'anti-piracy' ads on the legally purchased Blu-Rays. It's hilarious. We laugh, the pirates laugh, and the consumer... well f--- the consumer. It's still freakin' hilarious"

This has been a fake-news report.


So, who here is buying "Carrie" & "The Amityville Horror" anyway? I want a show of hands to laugh at.