The "What's on your mind?" thread

[Groot]

Originally Posted by Batman1980

I'm temperamental myself and I also suck at not overreacting to things but that's who I am and since I'm nearly 36, I doubt that's ever going to change. Why I try to avoid interacting with most people and it annoys me when people I don't like try to socialize with me or interact with me.

I'll be 31 in a month and a half and I can't just always have the attitude of saying whatever pops into my head without a filter. Not that I am one to shy from arguments or debates, but I have to hold my tongue and not let things bother me like they have in the last few years. It's been on my mind more as my own mother wishes I was more chill and doesn't like to see me get so angry that I just fly off the handle at someone. I never did that before and I've let so much anger build up that I am working towards letting it go. I've been doing that a lot over the last two years and that's when the anxiety/panic attacks and thoughts of wanting to die stopped. I'm more closer to who I want to be now but I do admit I need ideas of others to find that last missing piece to be the best me I can be.

[Abby is Q]

Originally Posted by Groot

Nope. No interest in paying someone to talk to me nor be pushed on drugs. I got over OCD, Anxiety and Suicidal thoughts on my own and I'll get over whats left of my issues on my own. I know I can't always be positive, but being less shoot first ask questions later needs to leave my mindset.

I don't know if you've had experiences with a psychologists, but they are not drug pushers. My old psychologists never even suggested drugs unless I went into her office talking about anxiety breakdowns and suicidal thoughts constantly. Psychologists look at behavioral issues as opposed to psychiatrist who look at more medical issues (chemical imbalances and such). Basically, if you have insurance, you'd probably pay less to go to seek help than to buy books and other guides that may mislead you.

[WhySoBlu?]

Originally Posted by Batman1980

Unofficially since I'm not allowed to dispense medical advice of any kind, I think you should consider having a psychoanalysis done by a licensed psychiatrist.

That's sound advice for quite a few of the people who post regularly in the General Chat area. I mean, you wouldn't work on a bad tooth yourself, would you? You wouldn't attempt to give yourself stitches or to set a broken bone yourself, would you? But people think they can pick up a book or two from Barnes and Noble (often written by people with absolutely no credentials of note) and cure themselves of life-long mental issues.

And while the idea of being prescribed drugs by a doctor can be scary, some of the people around here behave like they're clinically depressed, so considering the alternatives, maybe an anti-depressant wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. When you're discussing suicidal thoughts - whether past or current - that's a pretty good indication that professional help is warranted.

[Abby is Q]

Originally Posted by WhySoBlu?

That's sound advice for quite a few of the people who post regularly in the General Chat area. I mean, you wouldn't work on a bad tooth yourself, would you? You wouldn't attempt to give yourself stitches or to set a broken bone yourself, would you? But people think they can pick up a book or two from Barnes and Noble (often written by people with absolutely no credentials of note) and cure themselves of life-long mental issues.

And while the idea of being prescribed drugs by a doctor can be scary, some of the people around here behave like they're clinically depressed, so considering the alternatives, maybe an anti-depressant wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. When you're discussing suicidal thoughts - whether past or current - that's a pretty good indication that professional help is warranted.

Bold just needs to be said once again. The ignorance of mental health in this country is a huge issue in this country.

[Groot]

Originally Posted by WhySoBlu?

That's sound advice for quite a few of the people who post regularly in the General Chat area. I mean, you wouldn't work on a bad tooth yourself, would you? You wouldn't attempt to give yourself stitches or to set a broken bone yourself, would you? But people think they can pick up a book or two from Barnes and Noble (often written by people with absolutely no credentials of note) and cure themselves of life-long mental issues.

And while the idea of being prescribed drugs by a doctor can be scary, some of the people around here behave like they're clinically depressed, so considering the alternatives, maybe an anti-depressant wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. When you're discussing suicidal thoughts - whether past or current - that's a pretty good indication that professional help is warranted.

I consider the fact I've curtailed problems like OCD and Anxiety without the aid of a doctor or psychologist is perfectly acceptable for me. Someone mentioned behaviour therapy and some books, I find things to be an interesting read and looked them up. I didn't post in here for peoples opinion, especially given my first post is more about finding a center, which would be more a religious topic I'm not discussing.

[Blu-Benny]

worrying about the little man......he's getting down on himself after not doing so well at his wrestling tournament this past weekend.

there are a couple other comments he's made and things i've heard recently that have me worried a little bit too.

[WhySoBlu?]

Originally Posted by Groot

I consider the fact I've curtailed problems like OCD and Anxiety without the aid of a doctor or psychologist is perfectly acceptable for me.

I know next to nothing about you, and my comments weren't directed solely towards you. That said, it's rarely a good idea to self-diagnose when it comes to medical conditions, and it's even less advisable to attempt to treat said conditions if you're not qualified to do so, especially when you could be attempting to treat the wrong thing. Generally speaking, of course.

Originally Posted by Groot

Someone mentioned behaviour therapy and some books, I find things to be an interesting read and looked them up. I didn't post in here for peoples opinion, especially given my first post is more about finding a center, which would be more a religious topic I'm not discussing.

That's the thing about internet forums - if you post, you just might get some responses. If you just want a soapbox, perhaps a blog, twitter account, or facebook page would be more appropriate.

And really, let's just call it what it is - bringing up the fact that you're having/have had suicidal thoughts is about as close to a textbook example of a cry for help as you can get.

[Groot]

Originally Posted by WhySoBlu?

I know next to nothing about you, and my comments weren't directed solely towards you. That said, it's rarely a good idea to self-diagnose when it comes to medical conditions, and it's even less advisable to attempt to treat said conditions if you're not qualified to do so, especially when you could be attempting to treat the wrong thing. Generally speaking, of course.

That's the thing about internet forums - if you post, you just might get some responses. If you just want a soapbox, perhaps a blog, twitter account, or facebook page would be more appropriate.

And really, let's just call it what it is - bringing up the fact that you're having/have had suicidal thoughts is about as close to a textbook example of a cry for help as you can get.

Someone decided to tell me to seek mental health treatment simply because I posted about "zen" books and I stated I've done just fine on my own dealing with getting over my issues and making peace with them, using the most extreme example of the past. If I was crying out for help I certainly wouldn't be doing it in a place where adults get bent out of shape over off topic posts.

[Midnight Rambler]

OK, I better jump back in here since I recommended cognitive behavioral therapy. I did not make that recommendation lightly, it was based on my own past experience with an excellent psychiatrist of considerable experience (50+ years) and somewhat international renown (he was a highly-awarded/regarded Dr. in Hungary before he came to the States. To throw in a movie connection, since this is Blu-ray.com - he spoke and sounded just like Bela Lugosi ).

Anyways, many years ago when I got started in my professional career, I had to get used to dealing with the intense daily pressures (delivering product and manufacturing programs on-time, daily production and quotas, ensuring peoples' safety, and esp. the wrath of plant managers, corporate VP's, even the CEO at times). I thought I was "dealing" with it OK until I started to have tremendous anxiety which eventually led to panic attacks of such magnitude and frequency that they were affecting me physically as well as emotionally.

I knew I needed some help, but I was NOT interested in using pharmaceuticals to alleviate the problem, and esp. not long-term. So I began a search for a psychiatrist who was interested in, and offered, alternate approaches. Which eventually led me to my Hungarian Dr. After just two fairly brief sessions he was very convinced that the solution to my problem was CBT. After giving me a brief outline of the therapy, I began the process. This is by no means a short-term commitment or process, and it takes work on one's part to be effective. Additionally, we did occasionally meet to review my CBT "journal", although truth be told, once I got the hang of it, that wasn't necessary and I fully believe one can do it on their own. One caveat - as noted by others, if someone has a life-threatening condition, going solo is not advised.

CBT worked wonders for me. It's been 25+ years since I've experienced any abnormal anxiety, and never any more panic attacks. In fact, I now have a pretty big reputation for being "Mr. Cool", the go-to guy when a "crisis" arises. For example, I got a call from an assembly plant a couple weeks ago for a "no build" condition, just about the worst thing that can happen at a high-volume manufacturing operation. Everybody there was running around like chickens with their heads cut off, panic was everywhere. I basically had to take control of the whole plant, and I calmly laid out what we were going to do, how we were going to do it, and how long it was going to take. I didn't even break a sweat. People, incl. the plant mgr., looked at me like HTF do you do that ? I just chuckled to myself and said a quick thanks to my good ol' Dr., now in the Heavens above, for turning me on to CBT.

In closing, I will again note that Groot is already doing some of the steps of CBT, he just needs to take it to the next step - which is identifying the cause/trigger of a feeling or reaction, and that is the big key. As such, I think he may be able to do CBT on his own, once he gets a good overview of the process from reading text(s) on the topic. Of course, if he is not able to fully grasp the concept, or he has already ID'd his triggers and they are extreme, then by all means consult a psychiatrist.

End of sermon. Sorry it was so long ...

[Groot]

Midnight - I appreciate the time you took to share your experiences and why you recommended what you did.

I am fully aware of what my prior problem was and that's how I got over quite a bit nearly three years ago on my own after I finally recognized my own actions and worked daily to make a positive change. In April of this year it's been three years since I've had any anxiety/panic attacks and I have stopped nearly all OCD based actions that used to plague me on a daily basis. A bit before all this I had stopped being negative towards myself self worth wise, which at the time was leading to suicidal thoughts. Not on a daily basis, but they had occurred.

In the last few months, after nearly losing my mother, I've found that the only thing I had yet to tackle is my fear and what anger I had let build up over a period of time. I've found I've made a lot of positive steps and wish to refocus energy elsewhere and use the same energy to me more successful in business and life in general. Now some of it I've managed well on my own but I still felt I am missing that bit of peace to let go of the bulk of my animosity. That's why I sought out some Eckhart Tolle books as living in the now vs the past and moving forward in a spiritual sense seemed to be a good start in maybe getting my mind on that full path.

I am in no way shape or form seeking reinforcement from anyone here nor "crying" out about anything else given my original comments were made with positive infliction. I don't consider the issue now serious as I've become a lot more chilled out and found new outlets to let off energy and found new hobbies that don't let daily and other stresses take over my thinking the way I used to.

Never was my intention, and I know it wasn't Midnight's, to some how breach into psycho-therapy analysis.

[Abby is Q]

Originally Posted by Groot

Midnight - I appreciate the time you took to share your experiences and why you recommended what you did.

I am fully aware of what my prior problem was and that's how I got over quite a bit nearly three years ago on my own after I finally recognized my own actions and worked daily to make a positive change. In April of this year it's been three years since I've had any anxiety/panic attacks and I have stopped nearly all OCD based actions that used to plague me on a daily basis. A bit before all this I had stopped being negative towards myself self worth wise, which at the time was leading to suicidal thoughts. Not on a daily basis, but they had occurred.

In the last few months, after nearly losing my mother, I've found that the only thing I had yet to tackle is my fear and what anger I had let build up over a period of time. I've found I've made a lot of positive steps and wish to refocus energy elsewhere and use the same energy to me more successful in business and life in general. Now some of it I've managed well on my own but I still felt I am missing that bit of peace to let go of the bulk of my animosity. That's why I sought out some Eckhart Tolle books as living in the now vs the past and moving forward in a spiritual sense seemed to be a good start in maybe getting my mind on that full path.

I am in no way shape or form seeking reinforcement from anyone here nor "crying" out about anything else given my original comments were made with positive infliction. I don't consider the issue now serious as I've become a lot more chilled out and found new outlets to let off energy and found new hobbies that don't let daily and other stresses take over my thinking the way I used to.

Never was my intention, and I know it wasn't Midnight's, to some how breach into psycho-therapy analysis.

It's not a psychotherapy analysis. You said you were looking into self help books and someone suggested professional help. I think it's a fine suggestion that was never meant to insult you, and I suggested a psychologist based on my own experiences because I thought it would be a better money saving investment than buying self-help books and guides at B&N.

Also, I've kind of taken a bit of offense at some of the language used that really furthers the ignorance of mental health. Terms like "drug pusher" and "got over myself" really feed into that ignorance that not only isn't healthy for the individual saying it, but may also make someone who actually needs help avoid talking to others. Maybe it's just my experience, but suicidal depression isn't something I "got over" like the flu. It's something I've learned to cope with and it's constant work.

[Groot]

Originally Posted by Abby is Q

Also, I've kind of taken a bit of offense at some of the language used that really furthers the ignorance of mental health. Terms like "drug pusher" and "got over myself" really feed into that ignorance that not only isn't healthy for the individual saying it, but may also make someone who actually needs help avoid talking to others. Maybe it's just my experience, but suicidal depression isn't something I "got over" like the flu. It's something I've learned to cope with and it's constant work.

My opinions on mental health professionals aren't an implication on you. I personally find a lot of it unhelpful and a waste of money. I took some of it in college and didn't continue with it after being around it. It's my view of it.

No where did I say I just magically woke up and like a common cold it was gone, but unlike some people using what I knew and doing my own research and finding what worked for me I got over the bulk of my issues by retraining my thoughts. I'm sorry you weren't able to do that but it doesn't negate that in three years I haven't had a single incident of anxiety and panic attacks nor self hatred issues like I once did. It went on for almost seven years before I got it to go away completely and I do try to keep a positive mindset, at best I can, to keep it from reoccurring. Clearly it's still "constant work" or I wouldn't be thinking about the other side of things I wish to work on.

I had no intention to offend you, but at the same time simply posting about Eckhart Tolle books doesn't really mean I needed people making broad spectrum recommendations when you have zero clue about what my underlining issue was and how long ago it was. People are free to post and I'm free to post back views one may not like but if asked my view or it is directed towards me you will get my perception of it even if it is unpleasant.

[ArmyOfDarknessAW]

I can't for the life of me understand Kanye West and the love for him. I don't listen to his music so i can't speak for if its good or not, but i do see how much of an A hole he is and it would make it pretty hard to listen to his music knowing that. His ego is huge and he talks down to other genres. When he called himself the greatest living rock star on the planet it made me just shake my head in disgust. His music is not rock and has nothing in common with rock. That is pretty much just putting down an entire genre he has zero to do with.

Maybe i am alone and i guess i am based on his popularity, but the person behind the music matters to me to. I used to like the band Lost Prophets until the lead singer went to prison for being a pedophile. Now the music just isn't the same and i have no interest to listen to it. Not that Kanye is a pedophile, but just how much of an A hole he is i can't stand anything about him. He comes across as the a smug arrogant egotistical pos almost every time he opens his mouth.


This just happened to be on my mind after reading the Twitter "war" between and and Wiz Kal....screw it you know who i mean. No clue how to spell the guys name.

[Midnight Rambler]

Originally Posted by ArmyOfDarknessAW

I can't for the life of me understand Kanye West and the love for him. I don't listen to his music so i can't speak for if its good or not, but i do see how much of an A hole he is and it would make it pretty hard to listen to his music knowing that. His ego is huge and he talks down to other genres. When he called himself the greatest living rock star on the planet it made me just shake my head in disgust. His music is not rock and has nothing in common with rock. That is pretty much just putting down an entire genre he has zero to do with.

+1,000,000

The last straw for me was when, upon Bowie's death, he claimed to have been hugely influenced by David. Then there was a big rumor he was going to do a Bowie tribute album, re-doing songs and even rapping over David's music. Many were so outraged that an online petition was started to prevent him from doing so. Thankfully it was just a rumor. But the guy is so full of himself that he probably thinks the sign with "K. West" on the cover of The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars refers to him.

[WhySoBlu?]

Originally Posted by Groot

If I was crying out for help I certainly wouldn't be doing it in a place where adults get bent out of shape over off topic posts.

Yet you clearly love talking about yourself (I mean let's be honest here - it's obviously your favorite topic of discussion) and have no problem volunteering personal details, regardless of the topic being discussed.

And since you're bringing that up again, on what planet is pages and pages of mindless personal chit-chat between two or three people - in a movie thread, not in the General Chat area, mind you - considered merely a few "off topic posts?" The same one where a request to move the conversation to an appropriate thread is considered "angry anti-humanism comments?"

If you want to keep bringing this up, I'll be happy to post the entire PM conversation you started with me and we can allow everyone else to see exactly what was said for themselves.

Regardless, I hope you get the treatment you need. It's one thing to walk around clinically depressed and suicidal when it's just you, but when you have children, it's downright irresponsible.

[Abby is Q]

Originally Posted by Groot

My opinions on mental health professionals aren't an implication on you. I personally find a lot of it unhelpful and a waste of money. I took some of it in college and didn't continue with it after being around it. It's my view of it.

No where did I say I just magically woke up and like a common cold it was gone, but unlike some people using what I knew and doing my own research and finding what worked for me I got over the bulk of my issues by retraining my thoughts. I'm sorry you weren't able to do that but it doesn't negate that in three years I haven't had a single incident of anxiety and panic attacks nor self hatred issues like I once did. It went on for almost seven years before I got it to go away completely and I do try to keep a positive mindset, at best I can, to keep it from reoccurring. Clearly it's still "constant work" or I wouldn't be thinking about the other side of things I wish to work on.

I had no intention to offend you, but at the same time simply posting about Eckhart Tolle books doesn't really mean I needed people making broad spectrum recommendations when you have zero clue about what my underlining issue was and how long ago it was. People are free to post and I'm free to post back views one may not like but if asked my view or it is directed towards me you will get my perception of it even if it is unpleasant.

Of course you'll only get broad spectrum recommendations if your choice of words is pretty broad. Nobody knows or is asking about your issues, but rather making recommendations based on the details you have provided. You can't say you didn't ask for opinions because you're posting openly on a public forum.

And I'm not offended because any of this affects me personally. It offends me because I have talked to people on this forum who have talked about suicidal thoughts and it bothers me to think someone would get the wrong impression based on your statements. Because 1) you're wrong and 2) it's irresponsible.

[Will.]

[Eternal Dreamer]

How about the subject gets dropped completely and we all just move onto something else? We all have our opinions on stuff, and I think everyone's stated what they believe in. I just don't want to see anyone getting bent out of shape. It's not worth it.

To paraphrase Tom Selleck in Mr. Baseball:

"This is a community, and communities are supposed to be fun."

[Abby is Q]

Originally Posted by Eternal Dreamer

How about the subject gets dropped completely and we all just move onto something else? We all have our opinions on stuff, and I think everyone's stated what they believe in. I just don't want to see anyone getting bent out of shape. It's not worth it.

To paraphrase Tom Selleck in Mr. Baseball:

"This is a community, and communities are supposed to be fun."

I want to, trust me, but it's something I'm passionate about. Suicidal feelings are not something to be so easily dismissed or ignored. None of this is meant to be judgment or criticism on anyone, but rather to not keep treating something so serious like it's a non issue. The idea of being recommended therapy wouldn't have come across as offensive if our culture didn't treat therapy like it's something to be looked down upon or a sign of weakness.

[Eternal Dreamer]

Originally Posted by Abby is Q

I want to, trust me, but it's something I'm passionate about. Suicidal feelings are not something to be so easily dismissed or ignored. None of this is meant to be judgment or criticism on anyone, but rather to not keep treating something so serious like it's a non issue. The idea of being recommended therapy wouldn't have come across as offensive if our culture didn't treat therapy like it's something to be looked down upon or a sign of weakness.

I understand. I'm also very passionate about healthcare, too, and especially agree with your last statement. There's this negative social stigma regarding mental and emotional issues, and it's disgusting. Not to get political at all, but something really needs to be done in the United States so that everyone can get the physical and mental healthcare that they need. It's the stigma, costs, and other factors that prevent a lot of people from improving their health.

That being said, a few other things factor into this: by posting in this thread or any other, one isn't automatically looking to draw attention, as strange as that may sound. I know I certainly don't. I just find this thread interesting to see little slices of other people's lives, whether it's profound or something most would see as mundane. I know that I post in many threads and offer an opinion on something, and many times, there's no interaction. Others probably just read my post and move on, as they do with many others' posts. No problem. Occasionally, there's interaction, and that's good, too.

In this case, Groot didn't cry for help or ask for help or suggestions. Also, Groot has done very well in dealing with personal issues without the help of others, so it's really a non-issue.

And hell, I've had one completely F-ed up life. As Winston said in Ghostbusters, "I've seen shit that will turn you white!" I've been through things no human being should ever be subjected to. My life's been a horror movie, physically and emotionally, to put it lightly and not go into detail. I've talked to a few people in private about this.

All I know is that if I wanted help, I would ask for it. And of course, this probably wouldn't be the best place to ask. I would think that if Groot needed help, Groot would've asked, either here in public or through confiding in a trusted friend.

Anyway, what also should be said is what was also brought up: there's no shame in seeking professional help for anything... physical, mental, whatever. Also, what works for some people may not work well for others, and ultimately, what a person feels is best for them is best for them. Whether it's research, trial and error, or just what one feels is best for them, that's all there is to it. I lost a close family friend a few years back to cancer. She went through so many different avenues of treatment, and ultimately decided, "Enough. I've had more time than they told me I would, and I want to live out the last months of my life without chemo and medicines, and enjoy it to the fullest." And she did. That was her choice. That's what worked for her.

Anyway, I believe we should move on before anyone gets hurt or anything bad unfolds.