Explain A Film Plot Badly

[dgoswald]

A bit of fun that I noticed popped up on my Pinterest account which I use to plan my dream wedding and re-pin hilarious Tumblr posts.

In a couple of sentences, summarise the plot of a film, but do so in a way that misses the point entirely. Avoid spoilers for films that hinge on a huge reveal if possible... please?

For example, The Dark Knight would be: Billionaire devotes life and fortune to cosplay, and beating up the mentally ill.

For Star Wars: Deadbeat dad tries to get son to take over the family business.

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I'll start off with the Harry Potter films: Elderly headmaster uses orphaned boy as bait to lure serial killer into the open.

Superman: Illegal and undocumented alien arrives in America as a child, and begins to throw his weight around once he comes of age.

[DanTheMan]

Transformers franchise: Ooooooh, shiny robots! Cool!

E.T.: Alien touches down on Earth, needs a phone call, gets denied a phone call, is lucky to get out of there at all.

Fight Club: Man joins this club, you see......

Joy: It's not a mop movie.

Birdman: Aging star possesses witchcraft abilities that allow him to fly and telepathically move objects.

[Jennifer Lawrence Fan]

Originally Posted by DanTheMan

Joy: It's not a mop movie.

But it isn't.

[erixon20]

Jaws:A$$hole fish is mean to people and eats some of them.

[Rich65]

Night of The Living Dead: People return from the dead and try out a new diet.

[dgoswald]

Ghostbusters (1984): Four men desecrate and imprison the souls of the dead for financial gain.

Rear Window: Middle-aged Peeping Tom spies on neighbours.

[oildude]

Ghostbusters (2016): Sony and four women desecrate and imprison the memories of the living for financial gain.

[charlieray1]

A classic bad description:

The Wizard Of Oz -- a young girl travels to a distant land, kills the first person she encounters, teams up with three strangers to kill again.

[dallywhitty]

Grease: a young woman radically changes her looks and personality to impress the man she desires.

Grease 2: a young man radically changes his looks and personality to impress the woman he desires.

[lesco]

Forrest Gump Local idiot meets everybody.

[ThatOneGuy]

Drive: A professional driver falls in love with a woman and gets wrapped up in her problems.

Fight Club: You don't talk about Fight Club.

[skorba71]

Jurassic Park - Some dummy thought it would be a good idea to repopulate the world with dinosaurs, but didn't really plan it out well . . .

[Al_The_Strange]

Crying Freeman: Some lady watches a dude kill somebody, and falls in love with him instantly.

Frances Ha: Some slacker chick wants to be French.

John Wick: A dude avenges his puppy and kills most of the Russian mafia.

Secret Life of Walter Mitty: A loser travels halfway around the world to find Sean Penn.

[Rodney-2187]

Originally Posted by Al_The_Strange

Only God Forgives: A totally psychotic police detective cuts up a whole bunch of bad guys with a sword and gets away with it somehow.

That is the exact opposite of the movie.

[Al_The_Strange]

Originally Posted by rodneyfaile

That is the exact opposite of the movie.

Alas, despite my best attempts to ascertain the thematic symbolism and psychological subtext of the film, it seems that its actual plot remains mysteriously elusive to me. I apologize for my ignorance.

[Al_The_Strange]

Children of Men: A dude and a pregnant woman running to catch their boat in time.

The Italian Job (2003): A bunch of thieves out-thieve each other for gold.

Funny Games: A couple of distinguished gentlemen run into trouble trying to borrow eggs from their neighbors.

Gravity: A woman falls to Earth.

[Show spoiler]And lives in the end.

Sicario: An FBI agent is lucky enough to participate in a perfectly-legal CIA joint task mission, but has a problem with it for some reason.

[wonkavision]

Originally Posted by Al_The_Strange

Funny Games: A couple of distinguished gentlemen run into trouble trying to borrow eggs from their neighbors.

That is so funny. I really did lol.

[Al_The_Strange]

Originally Posted by wonkavision

That is so funny. I really did lol.

Hope it wasn't too much life imitating art.

[ThatOneGuy]

Enemy: Guy thinks he has a twin and starts stalking him, also there are spiders!

Dredd: The same film as The Raid but this one has a badass gun and Dredd is the LAW!

[zorbonaut]

Psycho:

A woman goes on a fun vacation with some extra spending money and meets a friendly man who runs a small hotel. His mother surprises her as they meet for the first time but their surprise encounter doesn't go as planned.