UFAlien's One Missed Call (2008) Review

[UFAlien]

I think it's only fair to give some background information: I love Godzilla movies, and I was looking at a site for the company that makes them. I noticed a horror film called You've Got A Call and looked up a summary. I decided that it sounded like a lame ripoff of Final Destination and moved on. The alternate title, and the one on the boxart, was One Missed Call. One day I was at Blockbuster and bored. Walking through the horror section, what did I see but that very movie... I figured "what the hell" and rented it. I fell in love and have since purchased all three Japanese films, including the import-only (until next month) Part 3. So, of course, I was there opening weekend for this remake.

Now, the ACTUAL REVIEW:

This movie has gotten a REALLY bad rap. A 0% on RottenTomatoes, a DVD/HD-DVD/Blu-ray release with absolutely no special features, a delayed release, a stint in the imdb Bottom 100... none of these seem like good signs. Even my local news reviewer gave the movie one star (Though, to be fair, I've never trusted him).

I myself don't understand this. As far as Asian remakes, even horror films in general go, I found the film to be squarely average. There's no question that this version doesn't live up to the original, or the best of Asian remakes such as Dark Water. Still, it beats out a lot of true dreck as well... films like Pulse and especially Shutter.

The film is typically stylish and well-directed by frenchman Eric Valette. Moving cameras, interesting angles, and moody lighting are the order of the day and work quite well. The sound design is also good, with suitably creepy (if slightly cliched) music, although I still wish they hadn't changed the ringtone...

The scares are varied a bit, but restrained by the family-friendly PG-13 rating. Gone are the elevator shaft and "pretzel person" deaths from the original, along with some of the "grosser" scares in the hospital. Replacing them are a dry impalement, a rather cool beneath-skin choking, and, ridiculously, the infamous "CGI Demon Baby Holding a Cell Phone".

That one scene in particular is a big reminder of what is wrong with many horror movies, especially PG-13 horror films: the horror, however diluted, typical, or laughable it is, is shoved directly in your face. I'm not sure who thought this scene was going to be scary, but it may have at least been less scene-breaking had it been simply a quick flash from afar.

Surprisingly, this film suffers from that flaw less than many others... there are moments where it falls victim (the aforementioned scene comes to mind, as well as the zombie man on the bus, Ellie crossing the street, Miss Moutheyes in the church and Marie's burning appearances outside the school and behind the train) , but there are also many scenes where we receive briefer or further glimpses of creepy material, such as Marie in the parking lot and the church, Miss Moutheyes' appearance in the window, or the quick, moving glances of Ellie on the street, in the hospital, or in front of Beth's window. There is also a handful of scenes that fall straight between, not particularly effective or offensive.

Compare this to Pulse, where all the crappy CGI is shown in close-up and for long periods of time, removing any possible scare factor besides a few quick jumps.

One Missed Call is actually more focused on general creepiness, with apparitions and themes designed to disturb you or make your skin crawl. Of course, a good jump or two is also thrown in, along with a few mostly flat attempts at suspense.

Probably my biggest gripe with One Missed Call is the ending: totally changed from the original, this is probably the film's single best example of in-your-face ridiculousness, even beyond the "CGI Demon Baby Holding a Cell Phone". The front of the building explodes, wind blows, the ghost's head shakes... and the film closes on two absolutely terrible CGI effects. I won't give away the ending, but it is at once a deus-ex machina and a cliffhanger, and is far from the nuanced brilliance of the original's.

Still, this is a rare example of a remake that revises the original's story to mostly good effect (at least until that ending). There is an explanation for the abandonment of the hospital, the timetable for events is reduced to be more sensible, the string of calls is simplified and easier to trace... this may sound rude, but those critics who call THIS version of the film "impossible to follow" reduce my faith in the human race a bit. I can understand people who haven't seen and understood the original having some amount of problems piecing it together, but I'm frankly baffled by the sheer number of reviewers who seem to not have the slightest idea of anything that happened.

Add in some good makeup work and you have what, in my opinion, is a totally unremarkable yet solid entry in the horror genre. And yes, I own this one too.

3/5
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