Your Worst Date!

[BStecke]

Ouch. Talk about knocking down some confidence.

This isn't a date, but I thought it was funny (and my wife got a kick out of it too).

So my wife went to Japan last summer. While she was gone, I took the week off of work to just hang out and do whatever. So one night I decide to go to the mall and grab a burger at Five Guys. So I'm sitting in the food court enjoying my meal when a pretty attractive woman with a kid, maybe 5 or 6, sits down at the table across from me. As I've gotten older I've found myself finding older women attractive (even though she couldn't have been over 29), so I gave her a once (maybe twice or thrice ) over and went on with my meal. I noticed she kept kind of looking over, which got me feeling pretty good. I'd never cheat on my wife, but it's nice to know I haven't gone to shit.

So, her and the kid finish up and they get up to leave. They both pass my table, then she stops, turns to me, looks me straight in the eyes, smiles, and says, "Can I ask you a question?" I was kinda like, "Sweet, I must be lookin' good today" (while I'm eating a double cheeseburger and fries ) so I say yes, and she says:


"Do you know if you're going to heaven?"

She was one of those bible thumpers that just randomly accosts people!!! She gave me this whole speech and yada yada, says a prayer for me (oh, and the kid was her little brother . . . that was really the only information I digested) and moves on her way. I sat there and finished up my burger and fries, laughing at the high opinion I had formed of myself for those few seconds.

I told my wife the story and she laughed so hard she couldn't breath.