Funniest Movie Quotes

[The Lion King]

From Airplane!:

[Show spoiler]Ted: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.

[Show spoiler]Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.

[Show spoiler]Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?
Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?

From Bad Santa:

[Show spoiler]Therman: Do you and Mrs. Santa have kids?
Willie: No. Thank the f-ck Christ.
Therman: What about the elves?
Willie: Well, they stay with Mrs. Santa. I get them on the weekends. Why don't you go run me a bath?
Therman: What about the reindeer?
Willie: Would you please shut up about reindeer?
Therman: What are their names?
Willie: Who?
Therman: The elves.
Willie: Oh, sh-t. I can't remember. I think one of them is Sneezy...there's a Dopey.
Therman: That's the Seven Dwarfs.
Willie: Oh, you're sh-tting me.

From The Naked Gun:

[Show spoiler]Jane: I've heard police work is dangerous.
Frank:

[Show spoiler] It is. That's why I carry a big gun.
Jane: Aren't you afraid it might go off accidentally?
Frank: I used to have that problem.
Jane: What did you do about it?
Frank: I just think about baseball.

[Show spoiler]Frank

[Show spoiler]: It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.
Jane: Goodyear?
Frank: No, the worst.

[Show spoiler]Frank: Just think, next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested.

[Show spoiler]Jane: How about a rain check?
Frank: Well, let's just stick to dinner.

From Top Secret!:

[Show spoiler]Nick: Listen to me Hillary. I'm not the first guy who fell in love with a woman that he met at a restaurant who turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist only to lose her to her childhood lover who she last saw on a deserted island who then turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French underground.
Hillary: I know. It all sounds like some bad movie.
[Long pause. Both look at camera]

From The Long Kiss Goodnight:

[Show spoiler]Charlie: Die screaming, motherf-cker.

[Show spoiler]Charlie: Suck my d-ck, every one of you bastards.