Funnest Movie Quotes?

[blu-mike]

From Tropic Thunder


"First, take a big step back... and literally, F**K YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of pan-pacific bulls**t power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia Jack is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down in a Godly f***ing firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the f***ing United Nations and get a f***ng binding resolution to keep me from f***ng destroying you. I'm talking about a scorched earth, mother***er! I will massacre you! I WILL F**K YOU UP!"

[Rob J in WNY]

"Wakie, wakie. Eggs 'n bacie."

Kill Bill, Vol. 2

[nightwolf2369]

"You just got killed by a Daewoo Lanos mother****er!"

[Rob J in WNY]

"Yeah, my dad bought himself a bunch of new toys. Big screen TV, CD players, VCR with four heads."

Edward Scissorhands

[Diesel]

the entire rush hour series (yes, even 3)

but if i have to narrow it down more, this is one of my favorite parts:

Carter: You don't know nothing about no War.
Lee: Everybody knows War.
[singing]
Lee: War! Huh! Yeah! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing, sing it again, you all!
Carter: It ain't 'you all', it's "y'all"!
Lee: Yaw.
Carter: Y'all!
Lee: Yaw!
Carter: Man you sound like a Karate movie, y'all!
Lee: Yoll.

as well as:

"This aint a cigarette, this ciga-weed!" - Carter

[Blu-ray Fanatic]

John Ritter:" How's your performance?"

Billy Bob Thornton:Staring at some good a**: " Performance??? You mean performance like sexual??? Are you saying there's something wrong with my gear??? Yeah my **** stick!

[sinister184]

Mr. Surya: Mr Delaney, can you work for me tomorrow?
Delaney: Tomorrow's Thanksgiving
Mr. Surya: Then you must come in the next day, i tell you.. Its Black Friday
Delaney: Black Friday?
Mr. Surya: Its the biggest mall shopping day of the year, and since the mall is just up the street, i would like to you come out and work
Delaney: On Black Friday...
Mr. Surya: Oh yes...
Delaney: Aight, You want me to work on moody Monday too?
Mr. Surya: Im sorry?
Delaney: How about Nigg@ Tuesday?
Mr. Surya: Nigg@ Tuesday? is this a new holiday?

[koontz1973]

Humphrey: So, just listen. Now, did I or did I not... do... vaginal... juices?
Pupils: Mmm. Mmm. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Humphrey: Name two ways of getting them flowing, Watson.
Watson: R - rubbing the clitoris, sir?
Humphrey: What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hmm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy.
Wymer: Suck the nipple, sir?
Humphrey: Good. Good. Well done, Wymer.
Pupil: Uh, stroking the thighs, sir.
Humphrey: Yes. Yes, I suppose so. Hmm?
Pupil: Oh, sir. Biting the neck.
Humphrey: Yes. Good. Nibbling the earlobe, uhh, kneading the buttocks, and so on and so forth. So, we have all these possibilities before we stampede towards the clitoris, Watson.
Watson: Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.

Monty Python The meaning of life.

[Elzeisa]

"in the end the universe unfolds as it should; plus i have a really large p*nis. that keeps me happy" - harold and kumar

"katie holmes is a nice, respectable, wholesome girl... and i'm gonna see her boobs" - harold and kumar

"im the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude" - tropic thunder

[Travis]

Dr. Ray Stantz, "Listen. Do you smell something?"

[Suntory_Times]

Some Serenity for good measure (though it relies heavily on how it is said, rather then just what is said).
Dr. Simon Tam: [to River] If there's any fighting, drop to the floor or run away.
[pause; regarding the rest of the crew]
Dr. Simon Tam: It's okay to leave them to die.

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [on the ship's intercom] This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then - explode.

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket...

[GLaDOS]

"I 'am serious...and don't call me Shirley!" - "Airplane!"

"Oh, my God! She's gone from 'suck to 'blow'!!!" - "Spaceballs"

"I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?" - "Meet The Parents"

"I'm your worst f**king nightmare: a n***er with a badge!" - "Reggie Hammond"

[Static]

"Many of you are wondering what's wrong with my pants, well they started running short on material right before they got to the knees, so dont give me any sh**." - Admiral Benson - Hot Shots

[mtbkr]

not necessarily a "quote" but its by far the funniest

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8pAaT4unZc

[Ski31]

Hey! Where are the white women at?!
Bart from Blazing Saddles

[PH3AR]

I die everytime i see this part in Superbad...

Fogell: Yo guys! Sup?
Seth: Fogell, where have you been, man? You almost gave me a goddamn heart attack. Let me see it. Did you p**** out or what?
Fogell: No noooo, man. I got it; it is flawless. Check it!
Evan: [examining the fake ID] Hawaii. All right, that's good. That's hard to trace, I guess. Wait... you changed your name to... McLovin?
Fogell: Yeah.
Evan: McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?
Fogell: Naw, they let you pick any name you want when you get down there.
Seth: And you landed on McLovin...
Fogell: Yeah. It was between that or Muhammed.
Seth: Why the F*** would it be between THAT or Muhammed? Why don't you just pick a common name like a normal person?
Fogell: Muhammed is the most commonly used name on Earth. Read a f***ing book for once.
Evan: Fogell, have you actually ever met anyone named Muhammed?
Fogell: Have YOU actually ever met anyone named McLovin?
Seth: No, that's why you picked a dumb f***ing name!
Fogell: F*** you.
Seth: Gimme that. All right, you look like a future pedophile in this picture, number 1. Number 2: it doesn't even have a first name, it just says "McLovin"!
Evan: What? One name? ONE NAME? Who are you? Seal?
Seth: Fogell, this ID says that you're 25 years old. Why wouldn't you just put 21, man?
Fogell: Seth, Seth, Seth. Listen up, ass-face: every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with fake IDs, and every single one says they're 21. Pssh, how many 21 year olds do you think there are in this town? It's called f***ing strategy, all right?
Evan: Stay calm, okay? Let's not lose our heads. It's... it's a fine ID; it'll... it's gonna work. It's passable, okay? This isn't terrible. I mean, it's up to you, Fogell. This guy is either gonna think 'Here's another kid with a fake ID' or 'Here's McLovin, a 25 year-old Hawaiian organ donor'. Okay? So what's it gonna be?
Fogell: [grinning] ... I am McLovin!
Seth: No you're not. No one's McLovin. McLovin's never existed because that's a made up dumb F***ING FAIRY TALE NAME, YOU F***!

[Mike53421]

Anchorman. All of it.

[mikejet]

"Look at the baby"

"Suck on these little Chinese nuts!"

"You kidnapped him saying he was your lucky charm!"

"We're the three best friends in the world!"

"He was a bartender!"

"My wolf pack of which there was one now had two!"

"I'm a doctor" "No you're a dentist"

Most quotable movie of this year so far.

[tbizzle]

Originally Posted by mikejet

"Look at the baby"

"Suck on these little Chinese nuts!"

"You kidnapped him saying he was your lucky charm!"

"We're the three best friends in the world!"

"He was a bartender!"

"My wolf pack of which there was one now had two!"

"I'm a doctor" "No you're a dentist"

Most quotable movie of this year so far.

that one was f**kin hilarious!

[silversnake]

anything from superbad or dumb and dumber. Most of the stuff from pineapple express as well.