Funniest Movie Quotes

[The Lion King]

From Airplane!:

[Show spoiler]Ted: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.

[Show spoiler]Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.

[Show spoiler]Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?
Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?

From Bad Santa:

[Show spoiler]Therman: Do you and Mrs. Santa have kids?
Willie: No. Thank the f-ck Christ.
Therman: What about the elves?
Willie: Well, they stay with Mrs. Santa. I get them on the weekends. Why don't you go run me a bath?
Therman: What about the reindeer?
Willie: Would you please shut up about reindeer?
Therman: What are their names?
Willie: Who?
Therman: The elves.
Willie: Oh, sh-t. I can't remember. I think one of them is Sneezy...there's a Dopey.
Therman: That's the Seven Dwarfs.
Willie: Oh, you're sh-tting me.

From The Naked Gun:

[Show spoiler]Jane: I've heard police work is dangerous.
Frank:

[Show spoiler] It is. That's why I carry a big gun.
Jane: Aren't you afraid it might go off accidentally?
Frank: I used to have that problem.
Jane: What did you do about it?
Frank: I just think about baseball.

[Show spoiler]Frank

[Show spoiler]: It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.
Jane: Goodyear?
Frank: No, the worst.

[Show spoiler]Frank: Just think, next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested.

[Show spoiler]Jane: How about a rain check?
Frank: Well, let's just stick to dinner.

From Top Secret!:

[Show spoiler]Nick: Listen to me Hillary. I'm not the first guy who fell in love with a woman that he met at a restaurant who turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist only to lose her to her childhood lover who she last saw on a deserted island who then turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French underground.
Hillary: I know. It all sounds like some bad movie.
[Long pause. Both look at camera]

From The Long Kiss Goodnight:

[Show spoiler]Charlie: Die screaming, motherf-cker.

[Show spoiler]Charlie: Suck my d-ck, every one of you bastards.

[Psychonaut]

Napoleon Dynamite is also highly quotable.

[MrKenSebben]

Anything from Spinal Tap, Pulp Fiction, American Psycho and the first half of Full Metal Jacket.

Sgt. Hartman - "Texas!? Holy dog s**t! Only steer's and queer's come from Texas, and you don't look much like a steer to me, so I guess that narrows it down."

[ixlegitballinxl]

anchorman!

[doctorD]

No sugar? Damn. Y'all ain't never got two things that match. Either y'all got Kool-aid, no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Daaamn.

Smokey from Friday

More great quotes to come from this movie

[Zaphod]

A lot of good quotes from Half Baked too...

[Mr.Slave]

Most Quotable Movie Of All Time. 300.

THIS IS MADNESS!!!!

[theprophecy247]

Originally Posted by Mr.Slave

Most Quotable Movie Of All Time. 300.

THIS IS MADNESS!!!!

THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAA!!!

[Gallis]

"Say hello to my little friend!"

Do I even need to say the name of the movie?

[Nerdkiller likes BD]

Originally Posted by Gallis

"Say hello to my little friend!"

Do I even need to say the name of the movie?

What is it? Scarwhat? I just don't know (kidding).

[Bageara]

"Why dont you chew the bark of my big fat log"

from Lake Placid,not a comedy or even a very good film, i know, but that bit always makes me laugh.

[DocNovak]

Originally Posted by Gallis

"Say hello to my little friend!"

Do I even need to say the name of the movie?

Good quote, but not very funny IMO and thread is for funniest movie quotes.

Mine would have to be:

Frank (Leslie Nielsen): "Saayyy, nice beaver!"
Jane (Priscilla Presley): "Thanks. I just had it stuffed!" in The Naked Gun

[Colglizity]

Originally Posted by Zaphod

A lot of good quotes from Half Baked too...

Thurgood: "How long do you think you can last in here, Kenny?"
Kenny: "I don't know.... 5.......6:30?"

[SpdDmn2k2]

"In the immortal words of Socrates, who said "...I drank what?" - Chris Knight (Val Kilmer) from Real Genius.

Hey, I thought that it was pretty funny.

[kamenriderrx]

Game over man, game over...




Not really a comedy but I was laughing when this line was said.

[view-it-blu]

Dude form Heathers

"like fu*k me gently with a chain-saw"

[WriteSimply]

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

[Show spoiler]Harry: I mean, it's literally like someone took America by the East Coast and *shook* it, and all the normal girls managed to hang on.
Harmony: OK, everyone who hates Harry raise your hand!
(All the girls in the club raise their hands)
Harry: See that? Obedient little *****es too.
Off-screen party girl: (as she throws a glass) "**** you!"

[Show spoiler]Harry: Still gay?
Perry: Me? No. I'm knee-deep in *****. I just like the name so much, I can't get rid of it.

fuad

[dadkins]

Airplane:
"Joey, do you like movies about Gladiators?"

[King Leonidas]

Wedding Crashers

• Jeremy - "Mr Environmental is also a hunter, its kinda an interesting combination ...
• Bradley - "I hunt quail Jeremy, they are over populated in this region and they are decimating the grubworm population, you have a ****ing problem with that?
• Jeremy - "... not nearly as much as the atire you have on or your general point of view towards everyone, but lets go kill some birds, I'm psyched ...

[tigtat77]

"That's all right, shhh, it's all right, Taggart. Just a man and a horse being hung out there."

"Now come on boys, where's your spirit? I don't hear no singin'. When you were slaves, you sang like birds. Go on. How 'bout "a good ole ****** work song?"

"Excuse me while I whip this out."

"What did you expect? 'Welcome, sonny?' 'Make yourself at home.' 'Marry my daughter.' You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the New West. You know - morons."

"Hello, handsome, is that a ten-gallon hat - or are you just enjoying the show?"

"I've decided to launch an attack that will reduce Rock Ridge to ashes...I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the West. Take this down: I want rustlers, cut-throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nit-wits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bush-whackers, horn-swagglers, horse-thieves, bull-dykes, train-robbers, bank-robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists!"