child crazyness

[Blu-Dog]

Originally Posted by dtowntke

ok so i have a 1 and a half rear old son love him to death words can't express how much i love him. it seems though he is very attracted to our entertainment center how do i keep him out my center has two sliding doors, i looked at target and wal mart for door lock stopper things but they dont seem like they would work, anyone have any suggestions , the doors are wood with glass in them. we looked at child saftey locks and they wont work any other suggestions?

This worked for me; may not work for you.

I have two boys. From the time they were infants, they did pretty much everything with me.

We investigated everything. Tools in the garage, when I was repairing or making something; whatever Mom was cooking for dinner (she wouldn't let us touch anything, it was "hot", whatever that was; I didn't take any chances near that stove, since Mom said, and that's Gospel in our house); and even hooking up the stereo. We'd go to the mall, the hardware store, the supermarket, everywhere, and we would ask questions.

We found out what that thing was the guy used to put prices on cans. We asked how the drawer opened up when they pushed the cash register button. We just wanted to know everything.

I would enlist their aid when I was doing something. Since I had one or the other of them in my arms, pretty much the first words they learned were, "hold this". I'd sometimes start to hand them something; then "remember", hey, that's "too heavy", or "too hot", or "too sharp". Sometimes I would "cut" myself, or "burn" myself, and then curse myself for being stupid, and give the little guys a look; can you believe Dad was dumb enough to do that? So we learned caution.

And I had to always be honest. "Hey, take this medicine tastes great! Watch, here, I'll show you," and I'd taste it and make a horrible face, yell "gack", then we'd go to Mom with, "Hey, what is this crap," and she'd make us take it anyway, the Doctor Said. So we did. No yelling about it, that's just the way it was.

I'm a computer guy, and a stereo nut, so they were with me when we built a PC, or wired up the speakers, or whatever. They watched as I muttered under my breath, "this is tricky," or "I gotta be careful, don't want to bust this," or "if I stick my hand in there, I'll get a shock", and they watched me do this. I didn't tell them anything; I just told myself. Then I would laboriously go through the initialization of something, following the steps exactly, talking out loud to myself. It was Important.

They just observed.

They could load up a VCR tape, turn on the TV, stereo, and their movie, at the age of two. They youngest could do it before he could talk; he spend a lot of time watching his brother. There were no mysteries to explore. I just crossed my fingers. I never lost a thing.

By the age of five, they were building PC's. It's not hard; they just understood the process, and the steps. Nothing was forbidden - it just needed to be handled correctly, and if you didn't know how to handle it, you went and asked, and somebody told you. If it was dangerous, or risky, they explained why a baby couldn't do it, and that was fine.

They got spankings, sometimes, not often. It was invariably for being cruel to each other, or inconsiderate to someone. Never for handling anything - there is no reason for that. Safety was self-defense, they understood that.

The funny thing is, everyone I ever met during that time took our questions absolutely seriously. A grown man, holding a small baby still not able to walk, would ask what the guy in the jewelry shop was doing with that little torch; and the guy would explain, in detail, slowly - talking to me, and taking extreme delight in the deep interest this toddler took in every word.

So they never had fear of technology, or sharing responsibility for stuff with their Mom and Dad. No mysteries.

They drove all the family cars. My wife and I shopped for two years for a black C5 Corvette convertible, finally bought one, drove it home, and the youngest - who had gotten his license six months before - was standing in the driveway. We got out, handed him the keys, and told him to go show it to his friends. It had 17 miles on it. To this day, it still doesn't have a scratch on it. People thought I was crazy, but I'm not.

The oldest is West Point Class of 2005. The youngest, West Point Class of 2006. Captain and First Lieutenant, respectively. I trust them with my life, and yours. I've been able to do that for a long, long time.

So my advice: Get the little guy, do some exploring of your delicate stuff. He loves you, and will see how protective of it you are. Get him to help you protect it, remove all mysteries from this gear. Show him the remote. Learn with him. He's a bright kid, or he wouldn't be fooling around with it; share it with him.

It worked for me, maybe it will work for you.

[jovherye]

Originally Posted by Riff Magnum

Spankings have their time and place, but i strongly urge any parent to avoid it at all costs. If your child is rubbing play dough all over your plasma, simply removing him from the environment and sternly telling him "NO" might not always work, but the child will know they did something wrong even though you didn't inflict physical pain upon them. You might have to repeat this twenty times before a spanking becomes necessary, but i don't think spanking should be a parents first response, or second for that matter. Your child is not a dog or a slave. Sometimes i think we forget that they are people. Little people. Little people without all the hangups of "adults."

Agreed! They are little people and I could go on and on, but this is not a child psych forum.

[aramis109]

Originally Posted by Blu-Dog

This worked for me; may not work for you.

*snip*

It worked for me, maybe it will work for you.

This is a really good post. I don't do this nearly enough with my 4 year old. She knows how to load my PS3 and turn on the components and watch a movie (thanks to macros) but she's not allowed to touch the movies (she scratched a blu-ray already). I think I need to go back and remove some of the mystery of it, and it won't be something she desires to play with, but be something she understands. She's already pretty good with a mouse and a keyboard thanks to this kind of idea.

Thanks for the post.