The Dating Advice Thread

[civiclx]

Originally Posted by Monterey Jack

I don't have any real friends, period...after high school ended, I pretty much stopped all social interactions aside from family engagements.

And while I have a sister and two brothers, how embarrassing would it be to ask their advice on how to START dating at my age? They all have wives/husbands and kids and social circles, and here I am, the one dud in my family. When my mother passed away 2 1/2 years ago, I felt especially gutted, as she left this world never once getting to know definitively I had found love or happiness outside of my family.

You know, I've worried about that same thing myself! It makes me feel really bad that my mom will probably never have grandchildren. I'm her only child

I don't think that your family would judge you but I certainly don't know them so I can't say for sure. I'm not quite as old as you but I'm close to your age. You have me by 5 years. I told another member here this. I'm not going to mention his name but I'll tell you that he's 37, lives at home and is a virgin. He probably feels the same as you sometimes and I told him that he needs to just get out there and start trying. The reason I even mention this other person while talking to you is because I feel like I want to suggest the same thing to you but being that you are in your 40's...and the thing about him is that he thinks about girls and seems pretty eager to meet girls so I tell him this. I'm not sure if I would offer you the exact same advice.

I might not take my advice because I am too insecure but you need to just get out there. I don't mean you should start going to clubs or down to the bar but if you see a pretty woman and you have a chance to strike up a conversation, go for it.

[BizCat]

Hey Civ, got any dating advice for me?

[civiclx]

Originally Posted by BizCat

Hey Civ, got any dating advice for me?

Yeah go to church and pray to God that He will help you become the loving husband and father you're meant to be!! You philthy philanderer you

[BizCat]

Originally Posted by civiclx

Yeah go to church and pray to God that He will help you become the loving husband and father you're meant to be!! You philthy philanderer you

[Blu-Benny]

Originally Posted by Monterey Jack

How about if you're forty-three and have never been on a date in your life?

You need to get onto a dating site and start talking to people.

Originally Posted by Monterey Jack

Social anxiety issues, possible Aspergers and a crappy, low-paying job. Plus, I'm not much to look at and have no car.

They don’t have $500 cars where you live?? My buddy drove a beater VW Jetta for 3 years…..that thing lasted 3 very hard Wisconsin winters. His cousin and my best friend bought it from him and drove it for another 2 years!!!

As for “not much to look at”……trust me, that has nothing to do with it. believe it or not, there are people out there that care about people, not how they look.

Originally Posted by Monterey Jack

I only leave my apartment to go to work or the movies/shopping. And work is no help...all of the women are either teenagers, or sixty years old. When you don't own a car, it's pretty much impossible to have a social life, especially when you live in a small town with few options for public transportation. And I doubt "have no car, need rides everywhere" will be that enticing for a potential mate. That's one idea in The 40 Year Old Virgin I found absolutely ridiculous...that Trish would have had the slightest interest in Andy when he let her know that he rode a bicycle instead of driving a car (and I don't even know how to ride a bike ). Name ONE woman who would put up with that for a grown man.

I have nothing to offer a potential girlfriend. No car, no money, no good looks or charisma.

Trust me, not all women are money grubbing wh*res or shallow enough to not want to be with a guy just b/c he doesn’t have a car.

My buddy didn’t have a car when he met his now wife, and she is smoking hot.

And you need to have a little more pride in yourself man. If you don’t have a car, or a crappy job or no charisma….do something about it!! no one can change it for you but you. there are other jobs out there, not just yours. I took the leap earlier this year and left a very good paying job b/c I was unhappy where I was. I was making $20+ an hour and was working from home. I took a paycut and had to come back into an office….but guess what, I’m a hell of a lot happier now than I was at the beginning of the year!!

Originally Posted by Monterey Jack

I don't have any real friends, period...after high school ended, I pretty much stopped all social interactions aside from family engagements.

And while I have a sister and two brothers, how embarrassing would it be to ask their advice on how to START dating at my age? They all have wives/husbands and kids and social circles, and here I am, the one dud in my family. When my mother passed away 2 1/2 years ago, I felt especially gutted, as she left this world never once getting to know definitively I had found love or happiness outside of my family.

Why’d you stop hanging out w/friends from high school?? 2 of my best friends now were my friends in high school all the way back to grade school. If you were friends, why would you stop talking to/hanging out w/them??

Here’s the thing man…..there have been several threads like this one over the years where you post the same thing over and over every time. you make yourself out to be this big pity party yet you never do anything to make things better for yourself. It’s a crappy thing to call you out on and I know I’m just some random guy on the internet…..but if you don’t take action yourself and do something about it, your station in life will never change.

I know people making little more than minimum wage and they own a car. If you have a crappy job, look for another one. Apply to places, go to interviews. The more you go, the more experience you’ll get. You’ll have to talk to people…..guess what, that’ll only help when it comes to dating.

As far as dating, like someone else said, get onto a website, make a profile, and talk to people. Believe it or not, there are people out there just as awkward and nervous about dating/talking to people as you are. But again, you’ll never meet those people if you don’t do something about it.

please know, I'm not picking on you or trying to make you feel bad. you can't expect people to feel sorry for you when aren't willing to do something about it for yourself.

someone may set you up on a date or introduce you to someone.....but it's up to you to get to know that person and build a relationship. it takes work, it takes time, it takes patience. if you aren't willing to do that work, you have no one to blame but yourself for your unhappiness.

[Blu-Benny]

Originally Posted by Batman1980

All girls want to be taken care of to some extent so if you're dirt poor, good luck!

that's utter crap.

I took a new job earlier this year and took a paycut.....and my wife was ecstatic that she was the "bread winner" finally.

she knows it's short lived....i'll be overtaking her again within the next year or so.

[Batman1980]

Originally Posted by Blu-Benny

that's utter crap.

I took a new job earlier this year and took a paycut.....and my wife was ecstatic that she was the "bread winner" finally.

she knows it's short lived....i'll be overtaking her again within the next year or so.

LOL you're still not dirt poor and LOL good job on letting your wife be the breadwinner.

[KillaCam]

You have to be confident. Go up and initiate a conversation with a female and if she's not into you who cares, there are plenty of women out there.

[Blu-Benny]

Originally Posted by Batman1980

LOL you're still not dirt poor and LOL good job on letting your wife be the breadwinner.

again, being "dirt poor" is a choice. if someone is "dirt poor," there are plenty of ways to remedy that.

and to be perfectly honest, I never understood why a guy gets uncomfortable when a woman makes more than him. seems like something stupid to let bother you. the way I look at it, if she's making more than me, it's less I have to work.

Originally Posted by KillaCam

You have to be confident. Go up and initiate a conversation with a female and if she's not into you who cares, there are plenty of women out there.

^^^^ this.....so much this!!

[Erzengel]

Originally Posted by Blu-Benny

Here’s the thing man…..there have been several threads like this one over the years where you post the same thing over and over every time. you make yourself out to be this big pity party yet you never do anything to make things better for yourself. It’s a crappy thing to call you out on and I know I’m just some random guy on the internet…..but if you don’t take action yourself and do something about it, your station in life will never change.

I know people making little more than minimum wage and they own a car. If you have a crappy job, look for another one. Apply to places, go to interviews. The more you go, the more experience you’ll get. You’ll have to talk to people…..guess what, that’ll only help when it comes to dating.

As far as dating, like someone else said, get onto a website, make a profile, and talk to people. Believe it or not, there are people out there just as awkward and nervous about dating/talking to people as you are. But again, you’ll never meet those people if you don’t do something about it.

please know, I'm not picking on you or trying to make you feel bad. you can't expect people to feel sorry for you when aren't willing to do something about it for yourself.

someone may set you up on a date or introduce you to someone.....but it's up to you to get to know that person and build a relationship. it takes work, it takes time, it takes patience. if you aren't willing to do that work, you have no one to blame but yourself for your unhappiness.

Pretty much this.

There are things that we all want and are important to us but most of them don't happen with us sitting on our hands waiting for things to fall on our laps.

[Blu-Benny]

Originally Posted by Erzengel

Pretty much this.

There are things that we all want and are important to us but most of them don't happen with us sitting on our hands waiting for things to fall on our laps.

it's a matter of deciding when enough it enough and finally doing something about it.

[MaCruz]

Dating... one of the best times of your life.

[Scarriere]

Sometimes I wish that I did more of it. Just sometimes.

[Scarface32]

Monterey Jack offer to pay for gas. I don’t drive either and I found that if you offer to pay for gas, girls are more likely to be ok with driving you places.

[imsounoriginal]

If you can make a girl laugh, that's like half the battle. And if you need help loosening up, just have a drink or two. They don't call it "liquid courage" for nothing Hell, just grab a buddy and go to a bar and just talk to people. Doesn't even have to be girls or for dates or anything, just have a conversation with a total stranger and build up your confidence. Work on small talk, etc. People at bars are literally the easiest people in the world to talk to, especially if you're there to watch a game.

[Monterey Jack]

Originally Posted by imsounoriginal

If you can make a girl laugh, that's like half the battle. And if you need help loosening up, just have a drink or two. They don't call it "liquid courage" for nothing

I hate the taste of alcohol.

People at bars are literally the easiest people in the world to talk to, especially if you're there to watch a game.

I hate watching sports.

[imsounoriginal]

Drink Mike's Hard Lemonade or those Corona Lime things. Won't taste any alc, just sugar lol.

[civiclx]

Originally Posted by Monterey Jack

I hate the taste of alcohol.



I hate watching sports.

Probably not the best way to reply MJ lol. I do t drink either and the only time I've gone to bars/pubs is while I was in Ireland but you can go and not drink alcohol.

[Scarface32]

Originally Posted by Monterey Jack

I hate watching sports.

Fake it. Just cheer for the same team everyone else is cheering for.

[Blu-Benny]

Originally Posted by Monterey Jack

I hate the taste of alcohol.

I hate watching sports.

then you need to find something you do like and try to meet people that way.

you said you like going to movies.....list that on a dating profile online.....go to a movie w/someone, then go for a walk in the park or out to dinner and talk about the movie afterwards.