The "What's on your mind?" thread

[Dubstar]

I'm losing the guy I'm dating: his father died (he wasn't that close with him, but still). He recently lost his job and he's trying to find new employment - that's been a new struggle. He's an introvert and he's withdrawing and slowly stopping communication with me ... I don't know what or how to deal with this ??

[Batman1980]

You could try consulting with a LMFT for advice, I don't know how to deal with an introvert who's pulling away due to moderate/severe personal issues. I also don't know enough about you or him to say whether or not this situation is salvageable.

[Dubstar]

Originally Posted by Batman1980

You could try consulting with a LMFT for advice, I don't know how to deal with an introvert who's pulling away due to moderate/severe personal issues. I also don't know enough about you or him to say whether or not this situation is salvageable.

honestly, I do feel like I 'do' need to step away from this relationship, it's becoming too 'one way' and not to my advantage; it's not that I'm trying to be selfish, but ... at this point, I think we should just be friends, any and all attempts for it to be a relationship in any other regards (or unrealistic goals) is and HAS gone out the window.

[Dubstar]

what's funny and fortunate is that the other 'second' guy I've also been seeing on the side, is finally stepping up to the plate and taking a more proactive interest and communication with me ~ out with the old, in with the new ...

[fighthefutureofhd]

At least you have options. I can't even get a first date. And then when I do, it's all I get. But no one will give me the time of day. I don't have anyone except for the artists I listen to and some of them aren't even living anymore. Sorry to hear that your having problems though. It sucks. Why do we need people in our lives to make us feel more whole and not feel so wasted, as we do when we are alone? Dude, you need anything you know how to reach me.

[Dubstar]

Originally Posted by fighthefutureofhd

At least you have options. I can't even get a first date. And then when I do, it's all I get. But no one will give me the time of day. I don't have anyone except for the artists I listen to and some of them aren't even living anymore. Sorry to hear that your having problems though. It sucks. Why do we need people in our lives to make us feel more whole and not feel so wasted, as we do when we are alone? Dude, you need anything you know how to reach me.

the one guy gives me such grief - I give, give, give so much of myself to him and try to engage him in trying to get to know him more, but he just doesn't reciprocate - he makes these statements to do other things, but they NEVER happen - he's all talk, but no action to do anything outside of f***ing - he makes me feel like a wh0re (when I want a lot more out of our relationship, which essentially has left me feeling like a ship without a rudder) - there are other flaws about him that I won't divulge, but honestly, I'm kinda glad he's drifting, I don't want to deal with his problems. He's causing this divide and, well, I'm not resisting. He came into my life at a very low point of my life, he swept me off my feet, but with how his life is going, which is going south and not letting me into his world - it's really cruel on my end, how he's played with my emotions. I'm a very caring, nice guy, he has NO idea, how much I'd do for him, but he's resisting and just wanting to sever it - if that's the case, so be it, my patience has left the building, I've given him so many chances and my time ... I'm done ... I'm done.

[fighthefutureofhd]

I'm glad you have a sunny outlook on this whole thing. And I love, LOVE your Lemonheads reference. Great choice of reference too. It really does apply.

[The_Donster]

Man, I love going back and reading everyone’s post since I was last here. Manscaping, coronavirus and the crazy things Civiclx posts. Thank y’all for making me laugh. Best I can come up with is, what am I going to do today and tomorrow on my day off For those who have seen, should I watch Doctor Strange in the theater or give my bladder a break and wait a few weeks to see it on Disney+?

[stvn1974]

Great. I am manic as hell right now. Anyone need me to build them a house because I could probably do it by myself right now. Hopefully it doesn't last too long and I don't crash too bad after it ends.

[Batman1980]

Originally Posted by The_Donster

Man, I love going back and reading everyone’s post since I was last here. Manscaping, coronavirus and the crazy things Civiclx posts. Thank y’all for making me laugh. Best I can come up with is, what am I going to do today and tomorrow on my day off For those who have seen, should I watch Doctor Strange in the theater or give my bladder a break and wait a few weeks to see it on Disney+?

If you enjoyed the first one, watch it in theatres. If not, wait for Disney Plus.

Ran for the first time today since last Thursday, hopefully I recovered enough from coronavirus that it'll be fine.

[stvn1974]

I hear the music from the ice cream truck driving around the neighborhood. Must resist, must resist.

[Batman1980]

Originally Posted by stvn1974

I hear the music from the ice cream truck driving around the neighborhood. Must resist, must resist.

[civiclx]

Originally Posted by The_Donster

Man, I love going back and reading everyone’s post since I was last here. Manscaping, coronavirus and the crazy things Civiclx posts. Thank y’all for making me laugh. Best I can come up with is, what am I going to do today and tomorrow on my day off For those who have seen, should I watch Doctor Strange in the theater or give my bladder a break and wait a few weeks to see it on Disney+?

Heeeey, there's nothing crazy about liking Counting Crows! I'm pretty sure you missed my random roadside blowjob post because it got deleted. I even had it spoiled lol

Nice to see you around. Still liking the Texas life well enough?

[Hitman Horton]

Originally Posted by fighthefutureofhd

At least you have options. I can't even get a first date. And then when I do, it's all I get. But no one will give me the time of day. I don't have anyone except for the artists I listen to and some of them aren't even living anymore. Sorry to hear that your having problems though. It sucks. Why do we need people in our lives to make us feel more whole and not feel so wasted, as we do when we are alone? Dude, you need anything you know how to reach me.

I have to disagree with some od this. I love the people in my life but, I was a whole person before them and I'd still be one if they left.

[Member-222782]

Originally Posted by Dubstar

I'm losing the guy I'm dating: his father died (he wasn't that close with him, but still). He recently lost his job and he's trying to find new employment - that's been a new struggle. He's an introvert and he's withdrawing and slowly stopping communication with me ... I don't know what or how to deal with this ??

The USPS is hiring, and so are many Transit Authorities. In fact, companies everywhere are looking for workers. Shouldn't be too hard to find a job these days. If they're looking for stability and good benefits, go for a gov't job. Many don't even require college degrees - just a civil exam.

[fighthefutureofhd]

Originally Posted by Hitman Horton

I have to disagree with some od this. I love the people in my life but, I was a whole person before them and I'd still be one if they left.

I can see that, but we are creatures designed to be with people. And as whole as we may be on our own, we still need people in our lives to complete that puzzle. Otherwise, we would eventually go nuts. loneliness and isolation can affect us all. Just to varying degrees.

Originally Posted by Blu Lemmy

So an introvert you have been dating is closing off following what sounds like quite a difficult time, and you've been seeing someone else anyways.....

Not cool in my opinion

He didn't say whether or not they were exclusive. And if they weren't exclusive, then I don't see any harm in it. We often go on multiple dates with various people at the same time. Besides, from my experience, this can be common in male-to-male interactions and that community. Not saying that it happens with everyone, but it does seem to happen more often in that community than in a community with male-to-female interactions. And don't take what I am saying to mean that I agree with it. I don't really. But it's kind of hard to judge when I know I've done things that aren't exactly kosher either. We are all flawed individuals and that is sort of what makes humans so unique and interesting. At least one aspect anyway.

[Dubstar]

Originally Posted by Cinema84

The USPS is hiring, and so are many Transit Authorities. In fact, companies everywhere are looking for workers. Shouldn't be too hard to find a job these days. If they're looking for stability and good benefits, go for a gov't job. Many don't even require college degrees - just a civil exam.

I personally found the USPS application daunting and obnoxious, it was one of those online questionaires/test thingamigs, apparently I failed at it ... eff 'em if they are making it THAT hard and cumbersome to get a job from them.

I'm thinking I'll go the gov't job route.

I know beggars can't be choosers, but I really REALLY don't want a job in retail or at a restaurant, those hours and pay SUCKS big time.

my guy's problem was that his prior job was a specific IT job, so maybe it's out there, but he's hitting some road blocks. The main problem is that he doesn't interview very well, he talks a mile a minute and knows he needs to dial it down a considerable amount - he's smart as a whip, it's his manic personality that scares off a lot of potential employers.

[Blu Lemmy]

Originally Posted by fighthefutureofhd

I can see that, but we are creatures designed to be with people. And as whole as we may be on our own, we still need people in our lives to complete that puzzle. Otherwise, we would eventually go nuts. loneliness and isolation can affect us all. Just to varying degrees.




He didn't say whether or not they were exclusive. And if they weren't exclusive, then I don't see any harm in it. We often go on multiple dates with various people at the same time. Besides, from my experience, this can be common in male-to-male interactions and that community. Not saying that it happens with everyone, but it does seem to happen more often in that community than in a community with male-to-female interactions. And don't take what I am saying to mean that I agree with it. I don't really. But it's kind of hard to judge when I know I've done things that aren't exactly kosher either. We are all flawed individuals and that is sort of what makes humans so unique and interesting. At least one aspect anyway.

True, generally in the UK if you are dating someone that means it's exclusive. 'Seeing people' is the non exclusive.

I'll retract my statement and shouldn't have judged

[Tsukiyomi]

I don't care anymore. I'll be happy when my parents die off and if I follow that's fine. I'd rather jump off a bridge than do this anymore. Theres only one thing I want someone to kill me that would be the greatest gift of all.

[fighthefutureofhd]

I am really sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do? Just let me know and I will gladly do what I can.