“
Octo*****.”
Yes, that is the name of the film.
No, it’s not porno. Or any kind of tentacle-themed hentai. It’s the next greatest Bond movie. Weird, isn’t it?
This time around, Bond journeys all across India and Germany, chasing and being chased for pretty much the entire movie. Throw in some shootouts, and we got ourselves another fine Bond film. On the first viewing, I felt this one dragged a lot between the action scenes. These days, I find it more interesting with each new viewing. For all viewings though, I do love these action scenes; they seem more intense and suspenseful than in most other Bond flicks. It seems like every time Bond is on the run, he’s running against the clock, dodging and charging through obstacles everywhere. And I mean everywhere! It all comes out of the wordwork; he goes through a jungle, the snakes and tigers are after him, in addition to the bad guys. He speeds a car across Germany, the Polizei and a whole bunch of whiny idiots get in his way. All of this cumulates in a very suspenseful scene where Bond, dressed as a clown, struggles to defuse a ticking nuke, while warding off a whole gang of people trying to bring him down.
The movie is worth putting up with for these gripping scenes.
To be fair, the story’s not bad either. Much like “The Living Daylights,” this film builds on a short story, so they tacked on a whole bunch of elements that are loosely connected and probably don’t hold much water. It’s something involving Faberge eggs, which in turns leads to a bunch of stuff in India, which in turn leads to a diabolical plot for a Russian dude to blow up the nuke in Western Germany…so he can take over the world!
The latter part really entices me; it’s a pretty cool and clever plot. The rest of it doesn’t make much sense to me; it’s particularly confusing trying to figure out if the title character is really good, evil, neutral, or even if it really matters. What is the connection there? Ah, who cares?
To be warned that, as another fine Roger Moore film, it does have ample amounts of campy comedy and absurdity. I think this film is a little less silly than “Moonraker” or “The Spy Who Loved Me,” but not quite as serious as “FYEO” or “A View to a Kill.” That means…it’s on the same level as “Live and Let Die.”
Cinematically, it’s not bad. Photography and editing are pretty good. Acting is not bad; Roger Moore is the man, Maud Adams is hot and appealing as the title character, Steven Berkoff is not bad as the main villain (not terribly distinctive though), and Kabir Bedi is awesome as the Indian henchman dude. Production value is high; the locales in India are gorgeous and the stuff in Germany looks very genuine (on a previous viewing, my dad recognized the actual Checkpoint Charlie in one scene). Most sets, props, and costumes are brilliant. I don’t really care for this movie’s theme song, but the score sounds decent.
4/5 (entertainment: 4/5, story: 3.5/5, film: 4/5)
Recommendation:
As a rental.
All countries
Argentina
Austria
Belgium
Brazil
Bulgaria
Chile
China
Colombia
Cyprus
Czech Republic
Estonia
Denmark
Finland
Greece
Hong Kong
Hungary
Iceland
Indonesia
Ireland
Israel
India
Latvia
Lithuania
Malaysia
New Zealand
Norway
Philippines
Poland
Portugal
Romania
Russia
Singapore
South Africa
South Korea
Sweden
Switzerland
Taiwan
Thailand
Turkey
Ukraine
United Arab Emirates
while i agree it sucked, i think you've lost some marbles Squiddy. 2004 version of Crash has "tons of pointless sex"? are you sure you're referring to the Oscar "award winning" (insert laughter here 
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