Having a baby, with my EX - Blu-ray Forum

Orange Green Tea · 05-31-2011, 06:49 PM

I feel bad for the kid. Going to be born into a broken home.

bhampton · 05-31-2011, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orange Green Tea

I feel bad for the kid. Going to be born into a broken home.

It's all relative. I didn't meet my dad till I was 16 and didn't live with my mom till I was 13.

There's worse though, lots worse... Stuff can be as bad as you can imagine.

-Brian

KASR · 06-01-2011, 02:06 PM

Get your sh!t in order man - not to be an insensitive prick, but you need to get the details of custody, child support, etc in writing, so you don't get whacked over the head with a huge back-support bill. Now is not the time to be irrational with your ex, since she's the one that will have to deal with the sleep-deprivation AND having passed a watermelon through her sensitive parts...so there might be some animosity coming your way...and it's not all completely unjustified. Keep your head about you - check your emotions at the door and appreciate the fact that new life, a part of you, has entered the world and act accordingly. The prospect of school is waaaay out there, so don't even worry about that crap right now. I can't stress is enough, get your "legal" sh!t together...if you aren't going to stay with the mom, you need to be realistic about what to expect from your obligations to the child.

And of course, good luck, bro. The great adventure begins.

Blu-Benny · 06-01-2011, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KASR

Get your sh!t in order man - not to be an insensitive prick, but you need to get the details of custody, child support, etc in writing, so you don't get whacked over the head with a huge back-support bill. Now is not the time to be irrational with your ex, since she's the one that will have to deal with the sleep-deprivation AND having passed a watermelon through her sensitive parts...so there might be some animosity coming your way...and it's not all completely unjustified. Keep your head about you - check your emotions at the door and appreciate the fact that new life, a part of you, has entered the world and act accordingly. The prospect of school is waaaay out there, so don't even worry about that crap right now. I can't stress is enough, get your "legal" sh!t together...if you aren't going to stay with the mom, you need to be realistic about what to expect from your obligations to the child.

And of course, good luck, bro. The great adventure begins.

this is probably the best answer yet!!

totally agree w/u on the legal end of it.....then the guy can @ least see his kid!!

KASR · 06-01-2011, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blu-Benny

this is probably the best answer yet!!

totally agree w/u on the legal end of it.....then the guy can @ least see his kid!!

Trust me on these points man...I have (5) kids....and 2 ex's.

CoMaToast · 06-01-2011, 03:21 PM

Thanks everyone. There's alot more to the story. I have come to realize the chick is a little crazy. A little bi polar and a compulsive liar. When we had sex she said she was on the nuvoring. ( or whatever it's called ) then about a week later I got the " I'm late" speech. I said. Ha, right pretty tough when your on bc and I didn't. ...... Inside of her. Then the ho tells me she "forgot" she took it out for a doctors appt or some bs. Sorry. But this is not a one time thing. And I could never trust this chick again.

I agree it's not fair for the kid but she should know this as the money hungry gold digging ho I should've known she was ( she has 3 other kids already )

I know I f'd up by even dating her with that many kids in the first place as I have none and don't really want any , but to lie about being on birth control is sick. And I really think there should be a law again dirtbags like her lying to get a paycheck for the next 18 yrs. Now I see how men go crazy and get f'd over by women and child support

Blu-Benny · 06-01-2011, 03:40 PM

u should get this shirt and live by these words!!

CoMaToast · 06-01-2011, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KASR

Get your sh!t in order man - not to be an insensitive prick, but you need to get the details of custody, child support, etc in writing, so you don't get whacked over the head with a huge back-support bill. Now is not the time to be irrational with your ex, since she's the one that will have to deal with the sleep-deprivation AND having passed a watermelon through her sensitive parts...so there might be some animosity coming your way...and it's not all completely unjustified. Keep your head about you - check your emotions at the door and appreciate the fact that new life, a part of you, has entered the world and act accordingly. The prospect of school is waaaay out there, so don't even worry about that crap right now. I can't stress is enough, get your "legal" sh!t together...if you aren't going to stay with the mom, you need to be realistic about what to expect from your obligations to the child.

And of course, good luck, bro. The great adventure begins.

Honestly if I was having a kid with someone who wasn't a ho bag compulsive liar that had a trash lifestyle ( the truth comes out in time ) I wouldn't care. But under these circumstances my kid is gonna grow up to be a redneck hill Billy living with her

Not knowing anything about this. What do you mean by " back support" ? And what needs to be done now? Paternity test I'm assuming is the first thing? Trust me. She's already goig after money. When she said she "forgot" she took out the birth control , she actually got pissed at me getting pissed at her for lying about it. Some o the last words we spoke was her saying I hope work is going good because child support is expensive.

Pure class, huh?

Another_Dude · 06-01-2011, 04:10 PM

This just might have an effect on your sexual standards going forward. Good luck.

,deeii · 06-01-2011, 04:13 PM

Wow.

I feel really sorry for you man...

CoMaToast · 06-01-2011, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ,deeii

Wow.

I feel really sorry for you man...

Thanks man. I always am a guy to take responsibilities foe my actions. But when I feel like I got tricked into giving her a paycheck for the next 18 yrs every month , I'm not gonna be the nice guy about things as I usually would

CoMaToast · 06-01-2011, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Another_Dude

This just might have an effect on your sexual standards going forward. Good luck.

Haha. Yea man, goes to show Looks aren't everything , always wrap it up, and meet her family before you stick it in her to make sure their not a bunch of welfare hillbillies

DetroitSportsFan · 06-01-2011, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoMaToast

Not knowing anything about this. What do you mean by " back support" ? And what needs to be done now? Paternity test I'm assuming is the first thing? Trust me. She's already goig after money.

Back support means that meter starts running the moment the child is born. If you don't pay regularly, the bill keeps climbing and eventually when the bill gets high enough, you will have a warrant put out for your arrest. Here in Michigan, nonpayment of child support is a felony.

Yes, get a paternity test ASAP after the child is born.

DetroitSportsFan · 06-01-2011, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orange Green Tea

lol that doesn't work. to think so leads to issues like this.

Sure it does. My wife and I have been together almost 9 years, never used birth control (except in the very beginning) and she has been pregnant twice. Both pregnancies were 100% planned. All it takes is some willpower and a disciplined penis.

As for the OP's situation, I always believed that you never have unprotected sex unless you're 100% sure you will be with her in the long term.

linkgx1 · 06-01-2011, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DetroitSportsFan

Sure it does. My wife and I have been together almost 9 years, never used birth control (except in the very beginning) and she has been pregnant twice. Both pregnancies were 100% planned. All it takes is some willpower and a disciplined penis.

As for the OP's situation, I always believed that you never have unprotected sex unless you're 100% sure you will be with her in the long term.

Did you use like, a whip or belt or something?

Blu-Benny · 06-01-2011, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DetroitSportsFan

Sure it does. My wife and I have been together almost 9 years, never used birth control (except in the very beginning) and she has been pregnant twice. Both pregnancies were 100% planned. All it takes is some willpower and a disciplined penis.

As for the OP's situation, I always believed that you never have unprotected sex unless you're 100% sure you will be with her in the long term.

i gotta agree. we've had 2 planned pregnancies w/success, 3 actually if u count the miscarriage my wife had when we were trying for a 3rd.

we always used a condom and just to be extra precautious, i'd never do anything inside her just incase the condom broke.....which happend more times than i cared for.

CoMaToast · 06-01-2011, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DetroitSportsFan

Back support means that meter starts running the moment the child is born. If you don't pay regularly, the bill keeps climbing and eventually when the bill gets high enough, you will have a warrant put out for your arrest. Here in Michigan, nonpayment of child support is a felony.

Yes, get a paternity test ASAP after the child is born.

Honestly I thought child support DID start when the child was born/taken home and after a court case determining the amount she will get. I doubt ahe will have a written agreement that it will start and end at any certain point

1blufan · 06-01-2011, 05:38 PM

Look at the positive man, you've got a little one that's coming along no matter what. You can't change anything from the past, so don't dwell on all the bullsh*t she's pulled, start preparing for the future. No court will give 100% custody to one parent over the other unless certain circumstances come out during a court hearing.
This is kind of like a divorce case, each state has different rules, pertaining to child support and such.
Be the best dad you can and love your child, your ex has nothing to do with you becoming a fantastic dad.
Like other posters have stated it sounds like she's coming at you a little bit so your best bet is to get all this stuff worked out in a court system if you two can't come to a legitimate term. Be the bigger person and try not to fight with her, if she wants to fight and argue with you, just tell her when she wants to talk reasonably we will talk, if not you both will be going around in circles until the baby comes along. Don't get into crap with her family, this is yours and hers child, and nobody else's. Unless you think it might not be yours, but you have to watch out with this, it will piss her off if you come at her with I don't even know if the childs mine.
The most important thing is Congrats, there's nothing like becoming a father and playing a role in developing your kid.
By the way, I've been with my girlfriend for over 10 years, we've hit some hard times over the years and she then floored me with I'm pregnant. The whole time I though she was on birth control. She never told me she was no longer taking it. After the initial shock I became very excited for having a child. I'm 38 and my little girl is almost 4 months old and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Even with all the crap that happened I figured what was the point of holding onto this frustration and anger for not being informed she was no longer on birth control.
Keep your head up !!! You'll be just fine. It's just overwhelming at first.

05-31-2011, 06:49 PM	#1
Orange Green Tea Banned Member since:Apr 2011	I feel bad for the kid. Going to be born into a broken home.

06-01-2011, 02:06 PM	#3
KASR Expert Member Member since:Dec 2009 Location:Pornographic Movie Set Home Theater Gallery:36 Blu-ray collection:65	Get your sh!t in order man - not to be an insensitive prick, but you need to get the details of custody, child support, etc in writing, so you don't get whacked over the head with a huge back-support bill. Now is not the time to be irrational with your ex, since she's the one that will have to deal with the sleep-deprivation AND having passed a watermelon through her sensitive parts...so there might be some animosity coming your way...and it's not all completely unjustified. Keep your head about you - check your emotions at the door and appreciate the fact that new life, a part of you, has entered the world and act accordingly. The prospect of school is waaaay out there, so don't even worry about that crap right now. I can't stress is enough, get your "legal" sh!t together...if you aren't going to stay with the mom, you need to be realistic about what to expect from your obligations to the child. And of course, good luck, bro. The great adventure begins.

06-01-2011, 03:21 PM	#6
CoMaToast Banned Member since:Jan 2010 Location:Minnesota Home Theater Gallery:27 Blu-ray collection:126	Thanks everyone. There's alot more to the story. I have come to realize the chick is a little crazy. A little bi polar and a compulsive liar. When we had sex she said she was on the nuvoring. ( or whatever it's called ) then about a week later I got the " I'm late" speech. I said. Ha, right pretty tough when your on bc and I didn't. ...... Inside of her. Then the ho tells me she "forgot" she took it out for a doctors appt or some bs. Sorry. But this is not a one time thing. And I could never trust this chick again. I agree it's not fair for the kid but she should know this as the money hungry gold digging ho I should've known she was ( she has 3 other kids already ) I know I f'd up by even dating her with that many kids in the first place as I have none and don't really want any , but to lie about being on birth control is sick. And I really think there should be a law again dirtbags like her lying to get a paycheck for the next 18 yrs. Now I see how men go crazy and get f'd over by women and child support

06-01-2011, 03:40 PM	#7
Blu-Benny Michael Bay's #1 Fan Top contributor Member since:Aug 2008 Location:Wisconsin Home Theater Gallery:39 Blu-ray collection:552 DVD collection:108 Trading Score:138	u should get this shirt and live by these words!!

06-01-2011, 04:10 PM	#9
Another_Dude Blu-ray Guru Member since:Dec 2008 Blu-ray collection:191 Blu-ray reviews:8	This just might have an effect on your sexual standards going forward. Good luck.

06-01-2011, 04:13 PM	#10
,deeii Blu-ray Baron Top contributor Member since:Aug 2009 Location:Netherlands SteelBooks™: 208 Home Theater Gallery:4 4K collection:68 Blu-ray collection:680 Trading Score:14	Wow. I feel really sorry for you man...

06-01-2011, 05:38 PM	#18
1blufan Blu-ray Ninja Member since:Mar 2009 Location:The Road to Nowhere. Blu-ray collection:305 Blu-ray reviews:3 Trading Score:200	Look at the positive man, you've got a little one that's coming along no matter what. You can't change anything from the past, so don't dwell on all the bullsh*t she's pulled, start preparing for the future. No court will give 100% custody to one parent over the other unless certain circumstances come out during a court hearing. This is kind of like a divorce case, each state has different rules, pertaining to child support and such. Be the best dad you can and love your child, your ex has nothing to do with you becoming a fantastic dad. Like other posters have stated it sounds like she's coming at you a little bit so your best bet is to get all this stuff worked out in a court system if you two can't come to a legitimate term. Be the bigger person and try not to fight with her, if she wants to fight and argue with you, just tell her when she wants to talk reasonably we will talk, if not you both will be going around in circles until the baby comes along. Don't get into crap with her family, this is yours and hers child, and nobody else's. Unless you think it might not be yours, but you have to watch out with this, it will piss her off if you come at her with I don't even know if the childs mine. The most important thing is Congrats, there's nothing like becoming a father and playing a role in developing your kid. By the way, I've been with my girlfriend for over 10 years, we've hit some hard times over the years and she then floored me with I'm pregnant. The whole time I though she was on birth control. She never told me she was no longer taking it. After the initial shock I became very excited for having a child. I'm 38 and my little girl is almost 4 months old and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Even with all the crap that happened I figured what was the point of holding onto this frustration and anger for not being informed she was no longer on birth control. Keep your head up !!! You'll be just fine. It's just overwhelming at first.

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