V/H/S Viral

[Holmes]

Wow. The first V/H/S film is uneven, but contains moments of genuine genre inspiration, and I found the second to be an improvement and a truly satisfying example of an anthology or portmanteau film. The third (and final?) entry in the V/H/S saga, however, is a disaster beyond description. So many negative adjectives are apt here. Boring. Flat. Idiotic. Incoherent. Uninspired.

There are three short films and, as always, a type of wrap-around storyline returned to throughout. The framing-device scenes defy description for me because I have no clue what went on despite watching the film without distraction around an hour ago. There is an O. J. Simpson-style police chase on the news, and people are racing to film it for YouTube, and there is an ultra-vague sense of insipid social commentary ("Modern society is voyeuristic and tech-fixated!"), and a group of Mexican caricatures stab each other at a barbeque, and I have no clue. The trio of self-contained stories are also awful. At least the first two begin with interesting conceits. In one, a ne'er-do-well becomes an overnight sensation as a stage musician, but secretly pays a sinister price for his triumph. In another, a scientist opens a portal to a parallel universe and meets another version of himself who may or may not be benevolent. Both ultimately fall flat due to a toxic combination of soap-opera-caliber acting, bargain-bin computer-generated imagery, juvenile humor, and rushed storytelling.

The third story, however, is easily worse. A humdinger of ineptitude, it concerns a group of skaters who travel into Mexico and run afoul of a cult. I felt searing pangs of shame simply watching this segment, knowing I spent actual money to rent it on demand. More time is devoted to the crude teenagers' trashy, lingo-heavy banter than actual horror, and when the actual set piece begins, it undermined by confusing staging and a tragic absence of conviction. Avoid and flush V/H/S: Viral.

F