9/15:
Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (1982) *First time viewing*
A mediocre Psycho-style thriller but added sleaze and filled with high levels of camp. Unhinged and over-the-top performances from Susan Tyrrell and Bo Svenson make it worthwhile to watch. Not a bad film but I wasn't impressed by it.
Night Screams (1987) *First time viewing*
While the Vinegar Syndrome 4K transfer was terrific, it's a boring and uninteresting slasher flick. The inserts in this movie was more entertaining than the movie itself.
Last edited by CelluloidPal; 09-15-2024 at 07:22 PM.
Just picked something that I could watch from netflix while on vacation. Not great but entertaining. Not scary and quite the annoying cast (for the most part) but clever enough to keep me hooked till the end. I might have to check the sequel too just because.
MONSTERFEST 2024
Blue = blu-ray, * = first viewing
September Warm-upThe list so far:
[Show spoiler]
TV EPISODES
ROUTE 66: LIZARD'S LEG & OWLET'S WING (1962) 1/2 This Halloween episode itself isn't great, but it guest stars Boris Karloff, Lon Chaney Jr, and Peter Lorre. Chaney appears as the Hunchback (his dad's old role), the Mummy, and the Wolf Man. Karloff dons his Frankenstein monster make-up one last time. The story is nothing, but it's worth it to see these guys in something close to the make-ups that made them famous. Nostalgic fun. Cool blu-ray, with vintage horror commercials, a clip of Vampira, an episode of Suspense with Bela Lugosi, and two episodes of the Karlff show, The Veil. TWILIGHT ZONE: JESS-BELLE (1962) One of the best of the 1 hour episodes - a tale of witchcraft and a Were-cat. Great script by Earl Hamner, with a strong folk-tale favor. Really good.
MOVIES
THE SPELL (1977) 1/2 1970's TV movies appeal mainly to those of us that grew up with them. They have limitations on budget, FX, and gore, but to this former 70s kid they're cheesy fun. This one gets dismissed as a Carrie knock-off (though it was actually written before Carrie) but other than a few surface similarities they're not that much alike. The subject is witchcraft, not telekinesis, and the final revelation is far from Carrie's storyline. Over-all rather good for what it is. Well-acted with some effective moments and a fun surprise ending. WARNING: the Scream-Factory blu-ray only contains the extended version. Unfortunately, the additional scenes were obviously not part of the original movie. They add nothing, they're spliced crudely into the film, and the tagged on ending spoils the very satisfying original conclusion, and lowers my rating by 1/2 skull. I wish the added footage wasn't there, or was a bonus to the original film. *HORRORS OF THE BLACK MUSEUM (1959) 1/2 First time viewing this early slasher/gore flick. Not exactly good, but very entertaining! Michael Gough hams it up nicely, and if there are no surprises, there are plenty of smiles at this once-shocking film. Best remembered for those horrible loaded binoculars! LATE NIGHT WITH THE DEVIL[/B] (streaming) (2023) 1/2 Really clever, and very well-done! The recreation of the 70s TV show is totally convincing. It loses me a bit at the ending when the faux-documentary approach is suddenly abandoned. It turns quite dark and, IMO, a bit less fun. Still there's much to like here, and I loved it until the ending. *AFRAID (2024) (Theatrical) 1/2 This is getting absolutely TERRIBLE reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, but my wife and I really enjoyed it. It's a bit silly in parts, but always engrossing, and very well-acted with convincing family relationships. It has a wonderful sense of paranoia, and it doesn't over-stay its welcome. Instead of endless climaxes, it comes to a swift, satisfying, and unsettling conclusion ...and stops. Bravo! Obviously I'm alone on this one, but I found it far more enjoyable than most theatrical horrors I have seen this year. I'm sure I'll add it to the collection when it comes out. *MOON OF THE WOLF (Streaming) 1972 Another of those 70s TV horrors, this time set in the Louisiana bayou and starring David Janssen as a southern sheriff. We had never seen it before, but despite a cool setting, decent story and good acting, it was just too tame. There's more investigation footage than werewolf action, and when the climax did come, it was undercut by weak werewolf make-up. It was fun for our September warm-up, but I doubt we'd watch it again. *THE PSYCHIC (1977) 1/2 First time viewing, and a pretty good film. It's one of those Italian productions where everyone is ridiculously overdressed and badly dubbed. The plot gets a bit murky in spots, but over-all this is quite enjoyable. Very suspenseful as different parts of our heroine's vision come to pass. Well worth watching! THE MUMMY (1932) One of the Founding Fathers of Fear. Moves a bit slower than some, but it's so well shot and edited. Basically an Egyptian-themed re-write of Dracula, with Van Sloan and Manners back in their Van Helsing/Harker roles, the Nubian servant for Renfield, Zita Johann in the Mina role and under the control of the monster. and an amulet replacing the cross. Probably not quite as strong as Frankenstein, but wonderful and still deserving of 5 skulls. DEAD CALM (1988) An impossibly young Nicole Kidman stuck at sea with bonkers Billy Zane, while Sam Neill fights to escape a watery would-be grave. Really quite a good thriller (after a completely unnecessary opening with the death of a child.) Good performances all around. The final moments lapse into been-there-done-that killer clichés, but it's so much fun getting there that it doesn't matter. A minor classic. DEMENTIA 13 (Director's Cut) (1963) I doubt anyone would call this a great film, but Francis Ford Coppola's directorial debut is certainly interesting. This print removes the silly "Dementia 13 test" prologue, and an additional murder added by another director at Roger Corman's insistence to pad the running time. While the story is a bit muddled, it's plain to see the potential of young Coppola. Some great shots and cool scenes. A fun, worthwhile curio. Wonderful print too! *SPEAK NO EVIL (2022) (On Shudder) I hated this film. We watched it in preparation for the remake opening this week, but now I doubt I'll even see it. The premise is fine (though the bombastic score screams "HORROR MOVIE!" before anything sinister even happens.) The behavior of our protagonists gets dumber as it goes, however the film doesn't really derail until the scenes at the end. At that point I was done with it. Why was this made? Not for the poorly developed characters. Not for the plot, which becomes nonsense half-way through when our heroes begin doing thing that NO ONE would ever do. Not for the back-story - there isn't one! No explanation at all for these people and what they do. That just leaves the pointless - and utterly tasteless - cruelty at the end. If watching suffering is all there is, count me out. This isn't entertainment. BAD RONALD (1974) 1/2 This is another of those fun, fondly remembered 70s TV movies, and one of the better ones! Ronald is an outcast kid who lives alone with his sick mother. He gets in trouble with the law, so mom helps hide him in a secret room in the house. Unfortunately mom dies, and Ronald is still hiding in the walls when a new family moves in. Hilarity ensues. If you grew up with these TV films and understand their limitations, make it 4 skulls - it's quite good for what it is. If you're too young to have been there, or have no patience for vintage cheese, you should probably just move along. A really fun film, and a remarkably good looking blu-ray! SOMETIMES THEY COME BACK (1991) This was a 1991 CBS TV movie, and despite a few cheesy elements (the campy "undead" makeup, occasionally cringy dialogue) it's a favorite of mine. It's an engrossing story, mostly well-acted, and ends on a surprisingly bitter-sweet note. I really enjoyed it!
Only complaint: why is this in the 2:35 aspect ratio? It was filmed and shown at 4:3. An earlier blu-ray offered 2 versions - in 4:3 and 2:35 (or possibly 1:78, which would probably look good.) At 2:35 it's way too tight, with lots of heads cut off at the top and the chin. Annoying! *BURIED ALIVE (1990) 1/2 My wife and I have been on a vintage TV movie kick this month, and this was a fun new discovery! Frank Darabont directed it - it was his very first film - for the USA Network. Tim Matheson gets bumped off (almost!) by his cheating wife, and wakes up to find himself ...wait for it ... Buried Alive. I assumed the movie would be a survival flick about his attempt to escape, but no. He was out fairly quickly and the films heads in a completely unexpected direction. It's becomes a campy, comic book-style story that would have fit in well in Creepshow. The second half may not be very realistic, but it's a lot of fun. Great final scene! A really enjoyable blind buy. Good blu-ray from Kino. TRILOGY OF TERROR (1975) 1/2 This landmark TV horror movie gave school kids the screaming meemies for weeks after it aired. No one who saw it then has every forgotten it. It's made up of three stories, all starring Karen Black, who is quite good throughout. The first story, about date rape(!) is tame, but pretty good with a nice twist at the end. 3.5 skulls. The second, a tale of 2 sisters, is obvious and forgettable and would score a 2 at best. However, it's the final story - about a "Zuni fetish doll" - that this film is remembered for. It starts quietly, but once it gets going it's frantically paced and relentless in it's tale of survival between a woman and the action figure from Hell. Unlike anything ever produced for TV up until that time, and still very effective. A solid 5 skulls. That story alone made this film a must-see. *TRILOGY OF TERROR 2 (1996) I had never seen this sequel before, and never even knew it existed until recently. Producer Dan Curtis (Dark Shadows) is back with 3 more stories, this time all featuring Lysette Anthony ...who proves that she is no Karen Black by ranging from poor to just adequate in her three starring roles.
For me, the first story - a tale of infidelity and grave robbery - is the best. The climax features some very nasty inhabitants of the graveyard, and if they're not exactly realistic looking, they work, and had me squirming in my seat. 4 skulls. The second story, of resurrection from the grave, has the poorest acting of the three and would get a 3 at best. The third was perhaps the biggest disappointment. It's a direct sequel to the original Zuni Fetish Doll story, but it offers nothing new. After an adequate set-up it's basically a remake and even copies the original's suitcase scene note for note. Maybe 3 skulls. A fun film, but other than the first gruesome tale, it's no threat to the original. *SPEAK NO EVIL (2024) 1/2 My wife and I watched the original Danish version a few days ago, and hated it. While the premise was great, the ending was so dark, ugly and pointless that it completely wiped out the fun of the film. After reading that this version ended differently, we gave it a chance. Very different animal! Where the original is more "serious" and dark, this is a popcorn thriller. Unfortunately, like many modern popcorn flicks, it didn't know when to stop and had a silly, over-baked climax, but it was still a good time at the movies. It might not be "art" (though McAvoy is excellent) but it's fun. Many will prefer the more brutal original, but we came out of this one smiling instead of depressed. Mission accomplished.
Last night, we survived an ANT ATTACK!!
*ANTS (aka IT HAPPENED AT LAKEWOOD MANOR) (1977) 1/2 This is one of those films they always had at Blockbuster (the cover was a close-up of Suzanne Somers' cleavage, covered with ants, remember?) Finally saw it, as part of our Ant Attack double feature. Typical 70s TV eco-horror, and a lot of fun. A quaint lakeside hotel does some reconstruction and unleashes a colony of mutant, poison-injecting ants on the guests. (They're gonna hate their Yelp reviews.) Campy fun, with a lot of effects that were never meant to be seen in high-def. Still, a lot of scenes made me squirm. How did Myrna Loy end up in this, along with all those familiar 70s TV actors? Suzanne Somers is an eyeful! Surprisingly for a Kino release, the picture quality was a bit disappointing - clean, and in a choice of two aspect ratios, but waaay too bright looking.
THEM! (1953) All-time 50s Sci-Fi classic. Humorously, the film takes great pains to present all the opening unexplained deaths as a mystery ...despite the movie poster and trailer featuring tons of giant ants carrying screaming people away! Look fast for young Leonard Nimoy in an early role. A terrific, suspenseful film, really well-written and acted, with wonderful footage of mid-50s Los Angeles. Easily the best of the "big bug" movies.
Last edited by charlieray1; 09-16-2024 at 12:30 AM.
Ikenie Man - Yu Nakamoto directed two short slashers in 2019; this one, and another called Harawata Man. Both have pretty similar premises about a film club directing a horror movie and running into actual murderers. They're both pretty fun, maybe a bit too referential at times, but still a good time. And the combined running time is about the length of a regular slasher. Ikenie Man is available with subtitles on Tubi, Harawata Man isn't currently streaming anywhere that I could find.
The Wolfman - Never got around to seeing this for whatever reason. Good movie and surprisingly gory - I watched the longer version, so I'm not sure if the theatrical version was as gruesome. I still say The Wolf Man is the best werewolf movie, but this is certainly one of the better ones.
The Corruption of Chris Miller - Finally got around to watching this after owning it for... since however long it was that Vinegar Syndrome released it. I've put off watching it mainly because it's two hours long, and I find movies like this can drag a bit at that length. And I think it's the case here. It's a good, well made film but it does drag a bit around the middle and I think cutting about 15 minutes would've really helped to tighten this thing up a lot.
The Museum Project - Short Australian found footage movie available to watch on YouTube (legally). It's set in a railroad museum, which is a pretty interesting setting. It's overall a pretty unremarkable movie - it hits all the usual found footage beats, but it's not a bad way to kill 45 minutes.
Funny Man - This is a stunningly weird and quite terrible horror comedy from 1994 with Christopher Lee in a small role. The "funny man" is some sort of demonic jester dude, and God bless Tim James, he's giving it his all here as The Funny Man, but he's just not funny. There's a long scene in a strip club where The Funny Man is all of the characters, including the stripper, which is one of the all-time worst scenes I've seen in anything.
There are a few fun gore gags, like a bit where girl has her brain shot out through the front of her face and her brain goes flying across the room with the eyeballs and glasses attached. But mostly, I kinda hated this.
Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person - This is pretty much a coming of age comedy/drama story, but there are vampires and enough of a horror element to be a good Halloween time watch. I would be recommend this for fans of something like A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night, Comrade Drakulich or maybe Liza, The Fox Fairy (though way less whimsical than that).
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice
First time viewing. I enjoyed this overall. The first 2 acts were really solid that gradually kept building with some nice surprises. The third act kind of wrapped up too fast though IMO. I also wish Monica Belluci's character had more to do.
I watched myself remove the disc from its case. I watched myself insert the disc into the player. I watched myself hit the play button on my remote control. I watched the movie begin and for the first time in my life I came to the realization that - yes Virginia, I might be a masochist. I often wondered why New Line Cinema purchased the rights to the "Friday the 13th" franchise if they had no intention of using Jason Voorhees properly. First they tried to turn him into a black magic boogeyman and now they're trying to turn him into a technologically rebuilt terror of the future. It's seriously embarrassing at this point. I'm actually a fan of both "Hellraiser: Bloodline" and "Leprechaun 4: In Space," so I have nothing against taking an established horror icon out of their element and into the blackness of the cosmos. But if you're going to do that, you should at least make an effort - and in my eyes the people responsible for this film simply do not make any effort at all.
Right from the start it feels like it has the production values of a direct-to-video grade Z schlock fest. The sets feel thrown together and the various aspects of the story are a jumble of disjointed clichés at best. Most of the cast are trying way too hard to fit into their surroundings and come off like bargain basement impersonations of actors. I hate to admit that I've viewed this film four times, and each time I watch it I can barely remember any of the faces I've seen four hours later. The same can be said for the kills which - with the exception of a frozen face smash - don't leave a lasting impression in the slightest. The pacing is insufferable (honestly "Jason Goes to Hell" didn't feel half as long as this steaming pile), the score is so indistinguishable it might as well not even exist, and most of the effects are atrocious to an unimaginable degree. I wish there was something nice I could say about this film. I really do.
½
Here it is - the horror franchise crossover film that every eighties fan had been waiting for . . . but was it worth the wait? I've heard mixed reviews from people over the years but for my money, it most certainly was. Sure there are some uneven spots that drag a little and a few laughable effects (like the hallucinogenic Freddy caterpillar and the "got your nose" segment) that wrench you out of the film a bit; still, this unquestionably ranks with the best installments of either franchise. Right from the opening minutes of the film, it's clear "Freddy vs. Jason" isn't going to shy away from nudity or bloodshed and is going to do its darndest to make us feel like we're back in the aforementioned decade. They even bring back Westin Hills Psychiatric Hospital and the dream suppressant Hypnocil from "A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors" to make the viewer feel like this could pick up somewhere in 1988 or 1989.
Unfortunately, that's where the eighties feelings end as the filmmakers couldn't help themselves by putting in flashbacks to "Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmares" (meh) and utilizing a new millennium shifting monochromatic color scheme (blecch). It's also filled with the kind of early 2000s teen dialogue that tries to emulate "Scream" and invariably falls flat at every turn. Another drawback is having three marginally strong leads (Monica Keena, Kelly Rowland and Katharine Isabelle) surrounded by a cast of supporting characters that could have been changed with any of one hundred other actors from the same time period and no one would have noticed the difference. The only modernization I truly appreciate is Graeme Revell's score which sounds appropriately eerie when necessary and uses the familiar themes from each franchise only in the most sparing of ways.
On the plus side, Robert Englund is obviously having a ball returning to the Freddy Krueger character. He slashes his way through every scene with gusto and chews through dialogue meaty enough to choke a two thousand-pound yak. I do think there's too much emphasis on Jason Voorhees' eyes which weakens the character a bit, but his contributions to the violent outbursts are so fun to watch that it's a small complaint in the aggregate. There are a couple of genuinely creepy moments in this film as well - like Lori's first dream and the whispering of the comatose patients in D-wing at Westin Hills - and the battles between Freddy and Jason are every bit as thrilling as one could hope they'd be. In the end, this was likely the best attempt at a crossover film we were going to receive and I appreciate its efforts. Tell me though: does anyone else feel that the guy who tries to burn Jason in the cornfield kind of looks and sounds like the guy who played Franklin in the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" movie?
½
When you watch a lot of horror films growing up, even in the first few years, you begin to see definite patterns forming; trace elements that get reused, certain plot points that keep popping up time and time again. The horror genre can feel like a familiar friend after awhile, which I think is part of its lasting appeal. But every once in a while, you run across a film that completely surprises you and turns everything you know about horror on its head. The first time this occurred for me was when I witnessed "Phantasm." The initial allure was watching a film that featured a young boy who was remotely close to my age - only about five years older than me at the time I saw it - as there were so few horror films I had run across at that point with protagonists I could really connect with on that level. This was also the first film I ever saw that made me fall in love with an automobile: never before had I wanted anything so bad as I wanted that Plymouth Barracuda. I still want that car.
Young Mike is a great reason to watch the film as actor A. Michael Baldwin was such a natural in front of the camera, but I wound up loving the unobtrusiveness of all three leads. They're a part of their world but they never seem like they should be the focal point. Things happen to them the way they would happen to any old average person on the street and I liked them even more for that. Reggie Bannister particularly feels like the wrong place, wrong time John McClane-style character and it's easy to look back on this first film and understand why he would ultimately become the centerpiece of the franchise. Angus Scrimm is probably the last actor to be truly scary in a horror series without having to rely either solely on his voice (like Chucky or Ghostface) or be buried under a ton of make-up (like Freddy Krueger or Pinhead). Some might point to Anthony Hopkins' incarnation of Hannibal Lecter as another example, but while I found Lecter to be a disturbed individual I didn't wind up fearing him the way I feared the Tall Man. Scrimm is an old school specialist at delivering terror like a doubly debauched Christopher Lee breathing life into the undead Dracula - only Scrimm serves a more otherworldly purpose.
It's that otherworldly purpose that starts setting things askew yet no matter how weird the film gets, writer/director Don Coscarelli always seems to force the film to adhere to its own set of rules. To this day, I'm amazed at how plausible the set-up actually feels. Everything really seemed to gel in this film from the wonderful and unique set piece of the Morningside mausoleum to the strange mystic grandmother to the malicious Jawa clones to the unsettling tuning fork gateway to another dimension. The deadly hum of that interdimensional transporter still sets my teeth on edge to this day. Granted the practical effect of the "finger fly" is a little phony, however, that's just part of the fascination with late seventies/early eighties horror. There are some films I grow tired of after awhile and there are some that will never grow old for me. "Phantasm" is definitely one that has never grown old. I enjoyed watching this every bit as much tonight as I did the first time I saw it way back in the innocent summer days of 1987. I'm sure I'll still enjoy it every bit as much in another thirty-plus years - if I haven't crossed through my own interdimensional transporter by then.
#10* Flesh For Frankenstein (1973) [Blu-ray] #9 * Friday The 13th (2009) [Blu-ray] #8 * Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday (1993) [Blu-ray] #7 * A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night (2014) [Blu-ray] #6 * Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (2024) [Theatrical] #5 * Ghost Dad (1990) [HD Stream] #4 * The Cat And The Canary (1939) [Blu-ray] #3 * Joshua (2007) [Blu-ray] #2 * Kongo (1932) [DVD] #1 * The Legend Of The 7 Golden Vampires (1974) [Blu-ray]
* = First Time Viewing * = Previously Viewed = Favorite
MONSTERFEST 2024
Blue = blu-ray, * = first viewing
September Warm-upThe list so far:
[Show spoiler]
TV EPISODES
ROUTE 66: LIZARD'S LEG & OWLET'S WING (1962) 1/2 This Halloween episode itself isn't great, but it guest stars Boris Karloff, Lon Chaney Jr, and Peter Lorre. Chaney appears as the Hunchback (his dad's old role), the Mummy, and the Wolf Man. Karloff dons his Frankenstein monster make-up one last time. The story is nothing, but it's worth it to see these guys in something close to the make-ups that made them famous. Nostalgic fun. Cool blu-ray, with vintage horror commercials, a clip of Vampira, an episode of Suspense with Bela Lugosi, and two episodes of the Karlff show, The Veil. TWILIGHT ZONE: JESS-BELLE (1962) One of the best of the 1 hour episodes - a tale of witchcraft and a Were-cat. Great script by Earl Hamner, with a strong folk-tale favor. Really good.
MOVIES
THE SPELL (1977) 1/2 1970's TV movies appeal mainly to those of us that grew up with them. They have limitations on budget, FX, and gore, but to this former 70s kid they're cheesy fun. This one gets dismissed as a Carrie knock-off (though it was actually written before Carrie) but other than a few surface similarities they're not that much alike. The subject is witchcraft, not telekinesis, and the final revelation is far from Carrie's storyline. Over-all rather good for what it is. Well-acted with some effective moments and a fun surprise ending. WARNING: the Scream-Factory blu-ray only contains the extended version. Unfortunately, the additional scenes were obviously not part of the original movie. They add nothing, they're spliced crudely into the film, and the tagged on ending spoils the very satisfying original conclusion, and lowers my rating by 1/2 skull. I wish the added footage wasn't there, or was a bonus to the original film. *HORRORS OF THE BLACK MUSEUM (1959) 1/2 First time viewing this early slasher/gore flick. Not exactly good, but very entertaining! Michael Gough hams it up nicely, and if there are no surprises, there are plenty of smiles at this once-shocking film. Best remembered for those horrible loaded binoculars! LATE NIGHT WITH THE DEVIL[/B] (streaming) (2023) 1/2 Really clever, and very well-done! The recreation of the 70s TV show is totally convincing. It loses me a bit at the ending when the faux-documentary approach is suddenly abandoned. It turns quite dark and, IMO, a bit less fun. Still there's much to like here, and I loved it until the ending. *AFRAID (2024) (Theatrical) 1/2 This is getting absolutely TERRIBLE reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, but my wife and I really enjoyed it. It's a bit silly in parts, but always engrossing, and very well-acted with convincing family relationships. It has a wonderful sense of paranoia, and it doesn't over-stay its welcome. Instead of endless climaxes, it comes to a swift, satisfying, and unsettling conclusion ...and stops. Bravo! Obviously I'm alone on this one, but I found it far more enjoyable than most theatrical horrors I have seen this year. I'm sure I'll add it to the collection when it comes out. *MOON OF THE WOLF (Streaming) 1972 Another of those 70s TV horrors, this time set in the Louisiana bayou and starring David Janssen as a southern sheriff. We had never seen it before, but despite a cool setting, decent story and good acting, it was just too tame. There's more investigation footage than werewolf action, and when the climax did come, it was undercut by weak werewolf make-up. It was fun for our September warm-up, but I doubt we'd watch it again. *THE PSYCHIC (1977) 1/2 First time viewing, and a pretty good film. It's one of those Italian productions where everyone is ridiculously overdressed and badly dubbed. The plot gets a bit murky in spots, but over-all this is quite enjoyable. Very suspenseful as different parts of our heroine's vision come to pass. Well worth watching! THE MUMMY (1932) One of the Founding Fathers of Fear. Moves a bit slower than some, but it's so well shot and edited. Basically an Egyptian-themed re-write of Dracula, with Van Sloan and Manners back in their Van Helsing/Harker roles, the Nubian servant for Renfield, Zita Johann in the Mina role and under the control of the monster. and an amulet replacing the cross. Probably not quite as strong as Frankenstein, but wonderful and still deserving of 5 skulls. DEAD CALM (1988) An impossibly young Nicole Kidman stuck at sea with bonkers Billy Zane, while Sam Neill fights to escape a watery would-be grave. Really quite a good thriller (after a completely unnecessary opening with the death of a child.) Good performances all around. The final moments lapse into been-there-done-that killer clichés, but it's so much fun getting there that it doesn't matter. A minor classic. DEMENTIA 13 (Director's Cut) (1963) I doubt anyone would call this a great film, but Francis Ford Coppola's directorial debut is certainly interesting. This print removes the silly "Dementia 13 test" prologue, and an additional murder added by another director at Roger Corman's insistence to pad the running time. While the story is a bit muddled, it's plain to see the potential of young Coppola. Some great shots and cool scenes. A fun, worthwhile curio. Wonderful print too! *SPEAK NO EVIL (2022) (On Shudder) I hated this film. We watched it in preparation for the remake opening this week, but now I doubt I'll even see it. The premise is fine (though the bombastic score screams "HORROR MOVIE!" before anything sinister even happens.) The behavior of our protagonists gets dumber as it goes, however the film doesn't really derail until the scenes at the end. At that point I was done with it. Why was this made? Not for the poorly developed characters. Not for the plot, which becomes nonsense half-way through when our heroes begin doing thing that NO ONE would ever do. Not for the back-story - there isn't one! No explanation at all for these people and what they do. That just leaves the pointless - and utterly tasteless - cruelty at the end. If watching suffering is all there is, count me out. This isn't entertainment. BAD RONALD (1974) 1/2 This is another of those fun, fondly remembered 70s TV movies, and one of the better ones! Ronald is an outcast kid who lives alone with his sick mother. He gets in trouble with the law, so mom helps hide him in a secret room in the house. Unfortunately mom dies, and Ronald is still hiding in the walls when a new family moves in. Hilarity ensues. If you grew up with these TV films and understand their limitations, make it 4 skulls - it's quite good for what it is. If you're too young to have been there, or have no patience for vintage cheese, you should probably just move along. A really fun film, and a remarkably good looking blu-ray! SOMETIMES THEY COME BACK (1991) This was a 1991 CBS TV movie, and despite a few cheesy elements (the campy "undead" makeup, occasionally cringy dialogue) it's a favorite of mine. It's an engrossing story, mostly well-acted, and ends on a surprisingly bitter-sweet note. I really enjoyed it!
Only complaint: why is this in the 2:35 aspect ratio? It was filmed and shown at 4:3. An earlier blu-ray offered 2 versions - in 4:3 and 2:35 (or possibly 1:78, which would probably look good.) At 2:35 it's way too tight, with lots of heads cut off at the top and the chin. Annoying! *BURIED ALIVE (1990) 1/2 My wife and I have been on a vintage TV movie kick this month, and this was a fun new discovery! Frank Darabont directed it - it was his very first film - for the USA Network. Tim Matheson gets bumped off (almost!) by his cheating wife, and wakes up to find himself ...wait for it ... Buried Alive. I assumed the movie would be a survival flick about his attempt to escape, but no. He was out fairly quickly and the films heads in a completely unexpected direction. It's becomes a campy, comic book-style story that would have fit in well in Creepshow. The second half may not be very realistic, but it's a lot of fun. Great final scene! A really enjoyable blind buy. Good blu-ray from Kino. TRILOGY OF TERROR (1975) 1/2 This landmark TV horror movie gave school kids the screaming meemies for weeks after it aired. No one who saw it then has every forgotten it. It's made up of three stories, all starring Karen Black, who is quite good throughout. The first story, about date rape(!) is tame, but pretty good with a nice twist at the end. 3.5 skulls. The second, a tale of 2 sisters, is obvious and forgettable and would score a 2 at best. However, it's the final story - about a "Zuni fetish doll" - that this film is remembered for. It starts quietly, but once it gets going it's frantically paced and relentless in it's tale of survival between a woman and the action figure from Hell. Unlike anything ever produced for TV up until that time, and still very effective. A solid 5 skulls. That story alone made this film a must-see. *TRILOGY OF TERROR 2 (1996) I had never seen this sequel before, and never even knew it existed until recently. Producer Dan Curtis (Dark Shadows) is back with 3 more stories, this time all featuring Lysette Anthony ...who proves that she is no Karen Black by ranging from poor to just adequate in her three starring roles.
For me, the first story - a tale of infidelity and grave robbery - is the best. The climax features some very nasty inhabitants of the graveyard, and if they're not exactly realistic looking, they work, and had me squirming in my seat. 4 skulls. The second story, of resurrection from the grave, has the poorest acting of the three and would get a 3 at best. The third was perhaps the biggest disappointment. It's a direct sequel to the original Zuni Fetish Doll story, but it offers nothing new. After an adequate set-up it's basically a remake and even copies the original's suitcase scene note for note. Maybe 3 skulls. A fun film, but other than the first gruesome tale, it's no threat to the original. *SPEAK NO EVIL (2024) 1/2 My wife and I watched the original Danish version a few days ago, and hated it. While the premise was great, the ending was so dark, ugly and pointless that it completely wiped out the fun of the film. After reading that this version ended differently, we gave it a chance. Very different animal! Where the original is more "serious" and dark, this is a popcorn thriller. Unfortunately, like many modern popcorn flicks, it didn't know when to stop and had a silly, over-baked climax, but it was still a good time at the movies. It might not be "art" (though McAvoy is excellent) but it's fun. Many will prefer the more brutal original, but we came out of this one smiling instead of depressed. Mission accomplished. *ANTS (aka IT HAPPENED AT LAKEWOOD MANOR) (1977) 1/2 This is one of those films they always had at Blockbuster (the cover was a close-up of Suzanne Somers' cleavage, covered with ants, remember?) Finally saw it, as part of our Ant Attack double feature. Typical 70s TV eco-horror, and a lot of fun. A quaint lakeside hotel does some reconstruction and unleashes a colony of mutant, poison-injecting ants on the guests. (They're gonna hate their Yelp reviews.) Campy fun, with a lot of effects that were never meant to be seen in high-def. Still, a lot of scenes made me squirm. How did Myrna Loy end up in this, along with all those familiar 70s TV actors? Suzanne Somers is an eyeful! Surprisingly for a Kino release, the picture quality was a bit disappointing - clean, and in a choice of two aspect ratios, but waaay too bright looking. THEM! (1953) All-time 50s Sci-Fi classic. Humorously, the film takes great pains to present all the opening unexplained deaths as a mystery ...despite the movie poster and trailer featuring tons of giant ants carrying screaming people away! Look fast for young Leonard Nimoy in an early role. A terrific, suspenseful film, really well-written and acted, with wonderful footage of mid-50s Los Angeles. Easily the best of the "big bug" movies.
*FEAR NO EVIL (1969) This movie was a real surprise! It's early for a TV movie - in fact it was the very first ever NBC "Movie Of The Week". Unlike many TV films from the era, it's not cheesey in the slightest. In fact, it's remarkably serious, and quite good. It's definitely a slow-burn film (and maybe a little talky) but the atmosphere is excellent, the acting is quite good and story is intelligent. It's also subtle - we had to rewatch the ending before we picked up an important detail that expalins the action in the climax. Great performance from Carol O'Conner in a small but important role. This was a blind buy, but it's definitely a film I am looking forward to watching again.
I have a friggin' headache. I was just trying to explain the different timelines in the Halloween franchise to my mom. Explaining nuclear fission and fusion to my cat would probably be easier.
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