Fantastic Four (2015)

[spectre08]

Originally Posted by Doctor Jack

See my post prior to the one you quoted and you will know why I sai what I said.

ok, but I still don't see the benefit. They can just as easily pull a Spiderman and skip the origin story entirely.

[Oateyboat]

Fantastic Four, or Fantfourstic as Fox as fond of advertising the movie as, is the fourth attempt at a film based on the comic series of the same name, following the unreleased 1994 film, the 2005 reboot and its 2007 sequel. All three have been deemed incredible failures by fans almost universally. But now we're truly in the golden era of superhero movies. Marvel have just made a fantastic Ant-Man movie, of all properties, just a month ago. So perhaps now with the lessons learnt from previous installments and all the successful superhero films to draw from, Fox can finally re-engineer their property into a success? You'd think so...

Warning: This review contains a fair amount of spoilers, but nothing much beyond what the trailers spoiled themselves.

[Show spoiler]
Fantastic Four follows a young Reed Richards as he works with best pal Ben Grimm to create a teleportation device. Despite his fifth grade teacher inexplicably telling him that a career in science isn't a real career, for some reason, Reed begins to slowly perfect his device over the next seven years. He takes the device to a school science fair (as in the ones where baking soda volcanoes and potato clocks reign supreme... he actually takes his teleportation device to a school fair) and tries to impress everyone, only for his same fifth grade teacher who for some reason is still grading him seven years later to once again dismiss science as magic when the device clearly works. But luckily, one of the world's greatest scientists has decided to visit this school fair just in case amongst the baking soda volcanoes and potato clocks there is a young man working on teleportation technology, and by some incredible coincidence that only the Gods themselves could have manufactured, he goes to the only one in the world where there is a teleportation device. This is approximately the first ten minutes of the film, and the narrative doesn't stop relying lazily on major plot holes, coincidences and lapses of logic for the rest of the film. I'm being serious.

Reed Richards is then taken to continue working on the device with the scientist, who just so happens to be the father of Sue and Johnny Storm. The three of them work together with Victor Von Doom to perfect the device so they can teleport to a new dimension. Ben isn't present during this portion of this movie. For whatever reason. When they create the device, Reed, Johnny and Victor decide to explore the new dimension, inviting Ben just because, and have a horrifying accident that seemingly leaves Victor in the other dimension dead and transforms the other three. And Susan. She didn't go on the trip she was just kinda there when they get back. The film then gets a little interesting as there's a really cool focus on body horror. There's a horrific shot of what looks like Johnny burning to death, and Ben appears to be crushed by boulders. It was a really unique look at how powers could affect an individual, and it was what director Josh Trank seemed most interested in covering when he mentioned it in every interview. But then three minutes later, the body horror stops, the film flashes forward a year, and that's the end of that. Three minutes. I'm pretty sure this was Trank's entire vision for the film, and it's in a single blink-and-you'll-miss-it scene. Without spoiling the second half, nothing interesting happens with the Fantastic Four for a while, Victor suddenly emerges from the alternate dimension with disfigured skin and a cape and they battle. The end. It literally happens as fast as that. I didn't even realize we were in the third act for quite some time, because it happens so abruptly.

This film really feels like several genres just smashed together and forced into this horrifying Frankenstein monster of a film. It doesn't flow at all. As mentioned before, things will just happen for no apparent reason. Victor Von Doom seems to be really pally with the other three while they're working on the device, but then he'll suddenly turn and say something like "Maybe Earth deserves to die because nobody is worth saving here". To which Sue replies, and I'm ****ing quoting the movie here, "Check out Doctor Doom here" in a sarcastic jokey way. I'm a huge fan of the comics, so it felt even worse when this film was just spitting in my eye and pissing on this franchise. The introduction of Victor Von Doom, possibly the greatest villain in all of Marvel Comics, was him sitting greasy in darkness playing games on triple monitors. He looked more like the World of Warcraft guy from South Park than the leader of Latveria. And then after he his accident and ends up in this void dimension, he somehow returns wearing a cape (God only knows where he found that) and looking like someone took a shit on him then rolled him around in green neons. I thought he looks bad in the shot from the trailer, but he looks even worse in the actual movie! His eyes glow green and look really close to each other, and he's not wearing a mask, yet his mouth doesn't move and he can talk perfectly well. And he suddenly just begins to turn evil, claiming this empty dimension as his true home (I really need to stress there is nothing ****ing there other than rocks) and that Earth needs to be destroyed so he can live by himself on Rockville. He makes 2005 Doom look like Heath Ledger's Joker

There really is nothing redeeming about this film. I know all the main actors have been fantastic in other properties, but this choppy script gives them no time to flesh out characters at all. In fact, the Four barely get to interact after the accident that gives them powers. Even the effects looked horrible in a lot of shots. Reed's stretchy arms look like something from an early 2000's video game. The Thing actually looked cool in about 50% of the shots he appeared in, but in 2015 that's not nearly good enough for a huge blockbuster like this. Human Torch actually looked worse than 2005's attempt a lot of the time. Doom looked utterly laughable in the few scenes he actually appeared in. This is both due to poor effects and awful design. I was aware of the extensive reshoots before going in, but if you weren't before you will be after seeing it. Sue Storm's hair literally changes colour every other scene where you can tell they've shoved in some new redone scene. The same could be applied to the tone, as it will swing from a gritty re-imagining to an attempt at light hearted humour.

If I had to take a guess at what went wrong with this film, I'd say Josh Trank came on with his original vision and the studio liked it. But as the fans reacted negatively to certain leaked news from the set, such as Doom's name being Victor Domashev (there's literally a scene where they clarify his name is now Von Doom), the studio panicked and begin re shooting and re working the film and twisting it into this complete worthless garbage they released in cinemas today. The end result is a film with no flow, no coherent narrative, no vision and a complete insult to its entire target demographic. The one interesting thing that Fantastic Four provides is that we now get to sit back and enjoy watching Fox scramble to figure out what to do with this completely ****ing doomed reboot now, because there's no chance this is going to make a profit for them. I literally haven't heard a good thing about this film from anyone for good reason, and even going in with those extremely low expectations, it still managed to disappoint me. Do not see this film. Not in the cinema. Not on DVD. Not on rental. Not even on Netflix. It will consume 100 minutes of your time that you will never get back and only leave you bitterly angry, confused, sad and empty. Marvel have managed to convince the general audience in recent years that Rocket Raccoon and Ant-Man are cool superheroes you should be excited for. Fox have managed to convince me, a huge Fantastic Four fan, that this is a completely ****ing worthless franchise that should be left in the hazy memory of cinema only to ever come up in conversations about the worst superhero movies to take its rightful place amongst the likes of Batman and Robin, Catwoman and Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance. Somebody asked me if this film is terrible, and I can honestly say it is not. It completely trancends terrible. It earns a special place amongst the ranks of failed dogshit that goes beyond just a terrible movie. Fantastic Four pisses on everything I love about the comic books, it spits in my eye as a fan of film (it doesn't even follow a coherent three act structure) and it completely emotionally bankrupted my love of the Fantastic Four.

[Blu-Benny]

Originally Posted by spectre08

the thought is nice, but you do realize that if Marvel gets it then it's guaranteed to sit on a shelf for at least a decade before turning into anything right? It could be 15 or 20 years before Marvel gets around to using these characters.

Maybe a villain makes an appearance in somebody else's movie at some point.

IDK.....put them in an avengers movie or another marvel property to introduce them and they could do whatever the hell they wanted to after that.

Originally Posted by Darth Anakin

Marvel is too safe to make a proper FF movie. Deadpool is going to be amazing in spite of them

Deadpool I going to be amazing b/c it's a movie for the fans made by fans of the character.

Originally Posted by crazyBLUE

I am curious as to what Benny thinks as well....

Benny won't be spending a dime on this movie.

it doesn't look like it resembles the comic in any way and Miles Teller is a huge turnoff for me.

[Doctor Jack]

Originally Posted by spectre08

ok, but I still don't see the benefit. They can just as easily pull a Spiderman and skip the origin story entirely.

The benefit is introducing new actors in it. No need for origins. I mean I know it will never happen but as a fan of te first two I would love for it to happen. Just be a simple way of bringing them in without their own movie like they are giving Spiderman.

[spectre08]

Originally Posted by Doctor Jack

The benefit is introducing new actors in it. No need for origins. I mean I know it will never happen but as a fan of te first two I would love for it to happen. Just be a simple way of bringing them in without their own movie like they are giving Spiderman.

you really think that Ioaanaa graffuffudd is MCU caliber?

[dallywhitty]

I'm reading about the film's troubled production and it is fascinating. It wouldn't happen because it's rare we get a really honest making-of unless it's a catalogue title and enough time has passed, but wouldn't a thorough, in-depth documentary about the film on the DVD/Blu-ray be amazing? I'd buy it for that alone.

[Mandalorian]

Originally Posted by dallywhitty

I'm reading about the film's troubled production and it is fascinating. It wouldn't happen because it's rare we get a really honest making-of unless it's a catalogue title and enough time has passed, but wouldn't a thorough, in-depth documentary about the film on the DVD/Blu-ray be amazing? I'd buy it for that alone.

Yup, I said something about this a while back (and likened it to the Alien 3 BTS doc). Like you said, though, I don't see this happening for a long time.

[DJMcNiff]

Here's four quotes from a Washington Post review:

Director Josh Trank displays none of the lo-fi verve he wowed audiences with in “Chronicle"

What’s most galling, especially for an action film, is that there’s precious little action here. The special effects look cheap, the acting is wooden, and the shouted dialogue consists largely of throwaway action-movie cliches (“Let’s do this”) and B-movie sci-fi jargon (“His bioenergy is off the charts!”).

As villain Victor Von Doom, Toby Kebbell is given what is perhaps the most thankless task, having to utter lines such as this, during the film’s climactic battle in a place called Planet Zero, without cracking up: “When your world is destroyed, and I’m all that is left, then that will be enough.” (It probably helps that his face — disfigured after he, too, is irradiated — makes him look like C-3PO’s evil twin. He has as much expressiveness as a member of the Blue Man Group, after Botox.)

But the most telling line is uttered by Reed, who expresses his dismay upon discovering that soulless bureaucrats have somehow rebuilt his beloved teleportation device while he was away: “You made it ugly,” he kvetches, in a sentiment that will no doubt be shared by those of us who wonder why it’s so darn hard to tell this story.

source

[spectre08]

what are Dr. Doom's motivations? I've always had a problem with his character and carrying about why he was so hell bent on destroying everything.

[trans8010]

But the most telling line is uttered by Reed, who expresses his dismay upon discovering that soulless bureaucrats have somehow rebuilt his beloved teleportation device while he was away: “You made it ugly,” he kvetches, in a sentiment that will no doubt be shared by those of us who wonder why it’s so darn hard to tell this story.]

This line actually summarizes the entire post-production process as well. I'm sure before Fox altered things, Josh felt he made a beautiful film.

Originally Posted by spectre08

what are Dr. Doom's motivations? I've always had a problem with his character and carrying about why he was so hell bent on destroying everything.

Doom is a dictator that wishes for supreme power to govern a populace he believes will destroy itself without his intervention and control. He also believes he's the only one who is able to do so which puts him at odds with the entire MCU, but mainly the FF.

[sandman slim]

Originally Posted by Mandalorian

It was almost a decade before Fox did anything with them again. They could easily be in Phase 4, or whatever the hell, after the Phase 3 plans that run through 2019 play out.

This would actually work perfectly. Just as Thanos has been the "big bad" they're building up to currently, "Galactus is coming" could be the overall arc for Phase Four, with teases of the Silver Surfer and planetary destructions leading up to an FF/Avengers finale. If Fox gives up the rights, I can totally see this happening.

[feeling22]

I just saw a TV spot saying critics love it?

FANTASTIC FOUR TV Spot #29 and #30 (2015) Superhero Movie HD - YouTube

[spectre08]

Originally Posted by feeling22

I just saw a TV spot saying critics love it?

FANTASTIC FOUR TV Spot #29 and #30 (2015) Superhero Movie HD - YouTube

well what are they supposed to say?

they're not going to just throw in the towel before it even opens.

[Chaotic]

I want to hear the tv spot guy read Travers quote on tv.

[trans8010]

I've noticed they've removed the "Fant4stic" label in favor of the traditional "Fantastic Four" one. Like that will stop us from calling it Fant4stic.

[spectre08]

I still prefer Les Quatres Fantastiques

mmmm

[Elandyll]

Originally Posted by Nada

Let's be honest, the MCU as a whole feels like a big budget TV mini-series.

That's your opinion, and you are absolutely entitled to it, even if you are dead wrong

X2 is excellent (I rate it about on par with the best Super Heroes movies out there, which include Spiderman 2, Iron Man, GotG, TDK and TWS), but the rest of the X movies with perhaps FC aside are really ranking from terrible (X3) to not all that great (DoFP).

[pksmith74]

And the critical yo-yo continues. Back down to 9% and level with Catwoman again.

[Tony208]

I would like to see Chris Evans pull double duty as Torch and Cap when Marvel gets the rights back.

He'll do both characters in the same scene, it'll be a riot.

[feeling22]

Originally Posted by pksmith74

And the critical yo-yo continues. Back down to 9% and level with Catwoman again.

Nothing can be THAT bad. Does this film suffer from the same quick editing where you can't tell what's going on at all and can tell that Halle Berry isn't athletic in the slightest so they need to edit 10 different cuts together to see her crack a whip?