The "What's on your mind?" thread

[ArnieCunningham]

Got all happy today. Was listening to a 1950's radio station today and Thurston Harris Little Bitty Pretty One came one. I was like YAY!! <3 <3 <3

[Eternal Dreamer]

There's been a lot on my mind, today, unfortunately. It's been a challenging day and I just want to clear my mind and feel at peace.

First, I have to take care of something involving my parents. There was a clerical error involving their healthcare situation, and so I'm going to have to camp out Monday at the proper office to try and get it fixed. If it doesn't get fixed, it basically means that they won't be able to get the medication and healthcare that they need. It'll especially be difficult for my mother, who is soon due for a procedure that she needs that finally had gotten approved.

Then, I received a notice from work. Again, someone made a mistake (seems like I interact with so many people that like to make mistakes) and if it doesn't get fixed, it could affect my job. Depending on how big this other person's screw-up is, I could either get a cut in pay or end up losing my job. I really can't afford either, and it would pretty much ruin my life completely. I know this might not make much sense, but I really can't go into much detail publicly due to the nature of my job.

As if that wasn't bad enough, I went somewhere and just froze up. I saw someone who, if not them, is the spitting image of a loathsome, disgusting, horrible person from my past. This person doesn't even deserve to be called a human being, as they've done horrible things to me and other people, and have even done things to others that they should be in prison for but justice wasn't able to be served. I felt so sick to my stomach that I had to head for the bathroom to vomit, and end up just leaving the place altogether. I'm also ashamed to admit that, if I were able to confirm that this was the person I thought it was... I briefly considered stomping a mudhole in them.

It's just been a day full of anger, sadness, and disappointment. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight, at all.

[ArnieCunningham]

Love this free app that i got toms of oldies. so many awesome stations!!

[Dalekbuster523Bluray]

Originally Posted by Eternal Dreamer

There's been a lot on my mind, today, unfortunately. It's been a challenging day and I just want to clear my mind and feel at peace.

First, I have to take care of something involving my parents. There was a clerical error involving their healthcare situation, and so I'm going to have to camp out Monday at the proper office to try and get it fixed. If it doesn't get fixed, it basically means that they won't be able to get the medication and healthcare that they need. It'll especially be difficult for my mother, who is soon due for a procedure that she needs that finally had gotten approved.

Then, I received a notice from work. Again, someone made a mistake (seems like I interact with so many people that like to make mistakes) and if it doesn't get fixed, it could affect my job. Depending on how big this other person's screw-up is, I could either get a cut in pay or end up losing my job. I really can't afford either, and it would pretty much ruin my life completely. I know this might not make much sense, but I really can't go into much detail publicly due to the nature of my job.

As if that wasn't bad enough, I went somewhere and just froze up. I saw someone who, if not them, is the spitting image of a loathsome, disgusting, horrible person from my past. This person doesn't even deserve to be called a human being, as they've done horrible things to me and other people, and have even done things to others that they should be in prison for but justice wasn't able to be served. I felt so sick to my stomach that I had to head for the bathroom to vomit, and end up just leaving the place altogether. I'm also ashamed to admit that, if I were able to confirm that this was the person I thought it was... I briefly considered stomping a mudhole in them.

It's just been a day full of anger, sadness, and disappointment. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight, at all.

I always find this helps me if I'm feeling down:

morecambe & wise Positive Thinking - YouTube

[Scarriere]

Originally Posted by Eternal Dreamer

[Show spoiler]There's been a lot on my mind, today, unfortunately. It's been a challenging day and I just want to clear my mind and feel at peace.

First, I have to take care of something involving my parents. There was a clerical error involving their healthcare situation, and so I'm going to have to camp out Monday at the proper office to try and get it fixed. If it doesn't get fixed, it basically means that they won't be able to get the medication and healthcare that they need. It'll especially be difficult for my mother, who is soon due for a procedure that she needs that finally had gotten approved.

Then, I received a notice from work. Again, someone made a mistake (seems like I interact with so many people that like to make mistakes) and if it doesn't get fixed, it could affect my job. Depending on how big this other person's screw-up is, I could either get a cut in pay or end up losing my job. I really can't afford either, and it would pretty much ruin my life completely. I know this might not make much sense, but I really can't go into much detail publicly due to the nature of my job.

As if that wasn't bad enough, I went somewhere and just froze up. I saw someone who, if not them, is the spitting image of a loathsome, disgusting, horrible person from my past. This person doesn't even deserve to be called a human being, as they've done horrible things to me and other people, and have even done things to others that they should be in prison for but justice wasn't able to be served. I felt so sick to my stomach that I had to head for the bathroom to vomit, and end up just leaving the place altogether. I'm also ashamed to admit that, if I were able to confirm that this was the person I thought it was... I briefly considered stomping a mudhole in them.

It's just been a day full of anger, sadness, and disappointment. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight, at all.

That's real tough Eternal Dreamer and I feel bad for you.
That sure is a lot of shitty stuff in a short time.

Keep plugging away at the clerical error and hopefully it can be resolved.

Stay strong and try not to be overwhelmed.
I wish you the best.

[Eternal Dreamer]

Originally Posted by Scarriere

That's real tough Eternal Dreamer and I feel bad for you.
That sure is a lot of shitty stuff in a short time.

Keep plugging away at the clerical error and hopefully it can be resolved.

Stay strong and try not to be overwhelmed.
I wish you the best.

Thank you for the kind wishes. Much appreciated.

I'll definitely keep plugging at both errors. There is way too much at stake, and honestly, it's something that should be fixed quickly if I can just get them to see the errors.

If I can get both of those things resolved, anything else for the time being is a piece of cake. I will indeed do my best to stay strong and calm during this rough time. If I'm a mess, I'm no good in these situations.

[Batman1980]

Hope everything works out for you, Eternal Dreamer.

Thinking about how much my skin itches lately so this back scratcher is a major lifesaver at times.

[Abby is Q]

Originally Posted by Eternal Dreamer

Thank you for the kind wishes. Much appreciated.

I'll definitely keep plugging at both errors. There is way too much at stake, and honestly, it's something that should be fixed quickly if I can just get them to see the errors.

If I can get both of those things resolved, anything else for the time being is a piece of cake. I will indeed do my best to stay strong and calm during this rough time. If I'm a mess, I'm no good in these situations.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm happy to keep you company in the loathsome pit of despair that I've been in lately as well. Just try to remain optimistic, as difficult as it may be at times. Life is a roller coaster and you may be on a descent now, but you'll be climbing back up soon enough.

[feeling22]

I hope UPS drops off my blu-ray and laptop bag before I head to work.

[JenSilvas79]

I found a lump in my breast and now have to go and get an ultrasound
My husband just got diagnosed with diabetes
My section leader at work(not my main boss) is a huge b***h to me and I'm sick and tired of her attitude and snide remarks. Makes me not even want to go to work.
I'm tired of girls at work acting like they're back in High School, forming cliques and talking about everyone behind their backs
I need to

[Groot]

Originally Posted by JenSilvas79

I found a lump in my breast and now have to go and get an ultrasound
My husband just got diagnosed with diabetes
My section leader at work(not my main boss) is a huge b***h to me and I'm sick and tired of her attitude and snide remarks. Makes me not even want to go to work.
I'm tired of girls at work acting like they're back in High School, forming cliques and talking about everyone behind their backs
I need to

Good Heavens, that's a lot in a short time. I hope & pray that nothing serious comes of the lump in your breast. Just keep fighting through everything and if you can keep a positive attitude you'll not get overwhelmed. Good Luck!

[Abby is Q]

Originally Posted by JenSilvas79

I found a lump in my breast and now have to go and get an ultrasound
My husband just got diagnosed with diabetes
My section leader at work(not my main boss) is a huge b***h to me and I'm sick and tired of her attitude and snide remarks. Makes me not even want to go to work.
I'm tired of girls at work acting like they're back in High School, forming cliques and talking about everyone behind their backs
I need to

Wow. I'm so sorry to hear all that. The first two are the worst and scary, but at this point they are manageable. Just remain proactive and optimistic. I wish you the best.

[Batman1980]

Originally Posted by Abby is Q

Wow. I'm so sorry to hear all that. The first two are the worst and scary, but at this point they are manageable. Just remain proactive and optimistic. I wish you the best.

The worst part about diabetes is it IS manageable but if you don't manage it it spirals out of control. I live pretty much treatment free because I manage it with diet and exercise. Just thinking about work and all the drugs I've been rubbing on my warts and my skin. Hope it works out, the skin slicing was a dead end that cost me about $500.

[Eternal Dreamer]

Originally Posted by Abby is Q

If it makes you feel any better, I'm happy to keep you company in the loathsome pit of despair that I've been in lately as well. Just try to remain optimistic, as difficult as it may be at times. Life is a roller coaster and you may be on a descent now, but you'll be climbing back up soon enough.

Thank you, Abby. As much as I do appreciate good company, I definitely wouldn't want anyone else to wallow in the dark crap that I often find myself in. By the way, I hope you get to feeling a bit better and I hope things improve for you. Hang in there. Also, best of luck with your writing. The world can always use another good author and good reading material.

Originally Posted by JenSilvas79

I found a lump in my breast and now have to go and get an ultrasound
My husband just got diagnosed with diabetes
My section leader at work(not my main boss) is a huge b***h to me and I'm sick and tired of her attitude and snide remarks. Makes me not even want to go to work.
I'm tired of girls at work acting like they're back in High School, forming cliques and talking about everyone behind their backs
I need to

I'm so sorry that you're going through such an incredibly difficult time. I hope that the lump is found to be nothing; there's a good chance that will be the case. And if something needs to be done about it, just remember we live in a time where medicine does incredible things.

That's also something to remember about the second thing you mentioned: diabetes isn't the death sentence / life of misery diagnosis it once was. Type 1 or 2, there are medications and things that can be done so that your husband can live a normal, happy, healthy life. Many in my family are diabetic and things are okay with what modern medicine and a bit of work in lifestyle changes can do. Even my grandmother lived to be nearly 90 and she was diabetic since her teenage years.

As for the other stuff, I'm really sorry to hear that, too. People can be really shitty sometimes, and the world can suck. That's the harsh truth. All we can do is soldier on and just cherish the truly good people that we meet and have in our lives.

Hang in there, alright?

[Abby is Q]

Originally Posted by Batman1980

The worst part about diabetes is it IS manageable but if you don't manage it it spirals out of control. I live pretty much treatment free because I manage it with diet and exercise. Just thinking about work and all the drugs I've been rubbing on my warts and my skin. Hope it works out, the skin slicing was a dead end that cost me about $500.

Yeah, diabetes is scary. My best friend has it and I've had to drive her to the hospital, shaking and incoherent. My mom also works in dialysis and it's just scary how far it can spiral if you don't take care of yourself. I don't want to talk too much about the horrors because it is manageable and that needs to be remembered.

[Eternal Dreamer]

The past few days have been a nightmare. Given my life and what I've been through, that's saying something. One bit of bad luck after another. Hopefully there's some relief in sight. Anyway...

I've just been incredibly stressed out but trying to keep as calm as possible. Finally was able to hold down food today. A combination of being too busy trying to take care of other people's mistakes and being sick was to blame for not being able to eat. Monday, I went to the proper office to deal with my parents' healthcare situation. I had all the paperwork that was needed and all the information they could possibly want.

Them: Whoops! Looks like a computer glitch shot out this letter saying that your parents' healthcare benefits were canceled. Everything was fine with them, actually. We don't need to see any of the papers or information you brought.

Me: Good! Glad to hear it's a mistake. So, everything's good and their healthcare won't be affected?

Them: Well, the computer still did kick them out of the system and as it is now, March 1 will see things terminated. I'm going to stamp this as "Review and Fix Immediately," though, and HOPEFULLY it'll be taken care of before the 1st so there's no lapse.

HOPEFULLY it'll be fixed in time. Ugh!

As for the mistake involving my job situation. Went in and talked to payroll and the other proper department.

Them: Oh, yeah, it's a mistake, alright. Well, hopefully it'll get fixed before the next pay period. That's going to be a tight squeeze due to the short month of February, though. But anyway, just keep working and hopefully all will go well. We'll call you if things fall through, so you'll know that you won't have a job, or your pay will be cut, or you won't be paid until we can fix this.

I'm not holding my breath if my job is in limbo for even a day or two. It takes a freakin' miracle to get payroll to get me paid for any time missed due to computer errors (which have happened in the past). The left right knows not what the right hand does, there are too many people in the kitchen and they screw up the soup, you name it. It's just... ugh!

I also had to take my mother to an appointment with a specialist. She's had an issue that's bothered her for quite some time, and she finally got a referral to the specialist she needed to see (well, one of several... there are lots of things my parents need done, but this is one of the more important ones). It involved some growths. One was on her breast and it changed color over time. They're removing it Thursday and hopefully it'll be nothing.

The other is on her back and has been causing her pain over time (it hadn't for the longest time, so her primary doctor didn't fuss with it and said she didn't need anything done as it was probably nothing). The pain had gotten so bad to where she demanded the doc refer her to someone. Well, it also will be removed on Thursday, because she needs a few days of antibiotics in her because it's got a bad infection (hence the pain, along with another reason... it's been growing and is close to latching onto her spine). Needless to say, I'm worried sick because it's my mother and I love her dearly and hate seeing her in pain. Plus, it's a minor bit of surgery, and surgery always carries risks.

As if Monday wasn't shitty enough, came home to a notice from the USPS saying that we missed a certified letter from the IRS. That's never good. Wanting to be rid of any of life's garbage, I managed to catch the mail carrier and retrieve it. The IRS is saying that my parents defaulted on an installment agreement for some old taxes I'd been paying off for them for quite some time. That's a load of crap, of course, as I pay it on time each month. In fact, last month, the statement was arriving dangerously close to the deadline... and since the payment address often changes, I always wait to see what PO Box and city to send it to each month, and also to make sure the payments are being applied properly. So, I went to the local IRS office and paid in person. Still had the parking receipt, the payment receipt given to me, check images from the bank showing it was cashed and payment posted well before the deadline, you name it.

Ended up waiting nearly 3 hours at the IRS office, already feeling like crap from a long day of work and all the other headaches, no food or sleep, etc.

Them: Wow, that's crazy! A few others have come in today with the same problem. It's a computer error. So sorry about that. Don't worry. We're not going to do any liens or such, and the agreement is still valid. Here's some payment coupons and envelopes addressed directly to this local branch so that you don't have to worry about statements being late and payment problems. Everything will be fine. Just keep making payments.

When I finally did get home, I had more things to deal with. Still had to take care of everyone, and everything around the house. With all these problems life has been piling up, things have been heated with my family and just about anything gets on their nerves (what else is new, sadly?). So, I had to deal with a bunch of abuse and headaches from them.

I was about to force myself to eat something, even though I didn't feel like it and have dealt with migraines this whole time (nothing new, either, sadly). I just felt so damn sick and like my head was going to explode. And it felt like something did pop or explode in my head. Much of my head felt numb, which was a nice change from the migraine, and so I just decided to lie in bed and hopefully catch a bit of sleep. Even though this has happened in the past, it still did cross my mind that maybe this was something that needed to be checked out, given my neurological illnesses and other health problems. At this point in life, though, I'm pretty much, "If I don't wake up, whatever. I did the best I could." Like Rocky says in Creed, "If something's broken inside, I'm not going to fix it. Why bother?" Sorry. I know I must sound like a downer sometimes. But as everyone's favorite wall-crawler says, "If you only knew."

I'm hoping things will work out. So far, I'm able to at least keep down food, and I'm doing my best to keep everyone as calm as possible. Hopefully my mother's minor surgical procedure goes well, and hopefully the next week or so will see things get fixed and back to smoother sailing.

I'm honestly thinking I'm immortal at this point. So many things and people have tried to kill me, and they haven't been able to yet. I still soldier on each day and haven't given up. I've only a few people in my life and I do my best to make sure they are loved and taken care of.

I just want a bit of relief, though. I guess I'll get that when life is over. Seems like that sometimes.

[feeling22]

I can't wait to have 5 days off from work next week!!! 3 days requested paid time off + regular 2 days off!!!

[Astro Zombie]

I'm getting easily annoyed recently. People on here, people in general. I don't like when this happens.

[Jett Rink]

Originally Posted by Astro Zombie

I'm getting easily annoyed recently. People on here, people in general. I don't like when this happens.

You are too young for that to happen. Wait until you are 30 and it is a lot more severe.

[Groot]

Originally Posted by Astro Zombie

I'm getting easily annoyed recently. People on here, people in general. I don't like when this happens.

It happens, especially when you are around the same people day in and day out. Maybe it's time for a break? We've all done it.