50 Ways To Leave Your Format

[radagast]

Song to the tune of "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"
With apologies to Paul Simon:

"The problem is all inside your head", she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your format

She said it's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your format
Fifty ways to leave your format

You just sell it on Ebay, Ray
Give it to your dad, Brad
Take to the recycle, Michael
Just get yourself free
Take it back to the store, Lenore
You don't need to discuss much
Trade it in at Circuit City, Lee
And get yourself free

Ooo slip out the back, Jack
Hide it under your bed, Fred
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop it in the trash, Nash
And get yourself free

She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways

She said why don't we both just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning you'll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to leave your format
Fifty ways to leave your format

Trade it in for Blu-ray, Faye
Give it to your dad, Brad
Take to the recycle, Michael
Just get yourself free
Take it back to the store, Lenore
You don't need to discuss much
Trade it in at Circuit City, Lee
And get yourself free

Slip out the back, Jack
Hide it under your bed, Fred
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop it in the trash, Nash
And get yourself free