Indy V Plot "Cracked"

[Reeper1976]

Ugh.

Would you like to know how Indy V should go? I've got the perfect script to follow up the disaster that was Indy IV:

We open in a frozen tundra. We see three men walking in a blizzard towards a large cave. Danny Elfman music playing triumphantly in the background.

The men make it inside the cave. We don't see their faces, as they are wearing thick hooded coats. After a few moments of spelunking, the men come to a wide open room, filled with gold and treasure.

In the center of the room is a golden idol, similar to the one in the first movie. One man steps forward and removes his hood. It's Indy. He walks slowly up to it and rubs his mouth, ala first movie, and debates about taking it.

Suddenly, one of the other men walks up and takes of his hood. It's George Lucas. He hands Indy a Jar-Jar statue and says 'Use this. It'll work. Trust me.'

Just then, the third guy in the back of the room takes off his hood; it's Steven Speilberg. He says 'Hey!' Indy and the nerd turn around. 'This is for ruining my movie, you son of a *****!' and plugs Lucas in his belly with a .45.

Indy tries to grab his whip and hit the gun away, but since he's 150, he's too slow. Indy takes a shot to the head, one in the nuggets, and loses a pinky.

Speilberg smiles and puts the gun away. As he turns to leave, ShortRound shows up, kicks him in the junk, steals the idol, and runs out to his jet airplane, just outside the cave, filled with supermodels.

As it takes off, we hear the faint sound of 'Tear The Roof Off The Sucka' by Parliament Funkadelic. Roll credits. Run time: 20 minutes. And it shall be the best apology the industry can offer.

Thank you.