Indy V Plot "Cracked"

[DetroitSportsFan]

Originally Posted by JamesKurtovich

What's better, Phantom Menace or Crystal Skull?

Just wonderin'.

The real question is....

Jar-Jar or Shia?

[Reeper1976]

Ugh.

Would you like to know how Indy V should go? I've got the perfect script to follow up the disaster that was Indy IV:

We open in a frozen tundra. We see three men walking in a blizzard towards a large cave. Danny Elfman music playing triumphantly in the background.

The men make it inside the cave. We don't see their faces, as they are wearing thick hooded coats. After a few moments of spelunking, the men come to a wide open room, filled with gold and treasure.

In the center of the room is a golden idol, similar to the one in the first movie. One man steps forward and removes his hood. It's Indy. He walks slowly up to it and rubs his mouth, ala first movie, and debates about taking it.

Suddenly, one of the other men walks up and takes of his hood. It's George Lucas. He hands Indy a Jar-Jar statue and says 'Use this. It'll work. Trust me.'

Just then, the third guy in the back of the room takes off his hood; it's Steven Speilberg. He says 'Hey!' Indy and the nerd turn around. 'This is for ruining my movie, you son of a *****!' and plugs Lucas in his belly with a .45.

Indy tries to grab his whip and hit the gun away, but since he's 150, he's too slow. Indy takes a shot to the head, one in the nuggets, and loses a pinky.

Speilberg smiles and puts the gun away. As he turns to leave, ShortRound shows up, kicks him in the junk, steals the idol, and runs out to his jet airplane, just outside the cave, filled with supermodels.

As it takes off, we hear the faint sound of 'Tear The Roof Off The Sucka' by Parliament Funkadelic. Roll credits. Run time: 20 minutes. And it shall be the best apology the industry can offer.

Thank you.

[Drew664]

Originally Posted by Reeper1976

Ugh.

Would you like to know how Indy V should go? I've got the perfect script to follow up the disaster that was Indy IV:

We open in a frozen tundra. We see three men walking in a blizzard towards a large cave. Danny Elfman music playing triumphantly in the background.

The men make it inside the cave. We don't see their faces, as they are wearing thick hooded coats. After a few moments of spelunking, the men come to a wide open room, filled with gold and treasure.

In the center of the room is a golden idol, similar to the one in the first movie. One man steps forward and removes his hood. It's Indy. He walks slowly up to it and rubs his mouth, ala first movie, and debates about taking it.

Suddenly, one of the other men walks up and takes of his hood. It's George Lucas. He hands Indy a Jar-Jar statue and says 'Use this. It'll work. Trust me.'

Just then, the third guy in the back of the room takes off his hood; it's Steven Speilberg. He says 'Hey!' Indy and the nerd turn around. 'This is for ruining my movie, you son of a *****!' and plugs Lucas in his belly with a .45.

Indy tries to grab his whip and hit the gun away, but since he's 150, he's too slow. Indy takes a shot to the head, one in the nuggets, and loses a pinky.

Speilberg smiles and puts the gun away. As he turns to leave, ShortRound shows up, kicks him in the junk, steals the idol, and runs out to his jet airplane, just outside the cave, filled with supermodels.

As it takes off, we hear the faint sound of 'Tear The Roof Off The Sucka' by Parliament Funkadelic. Roll credits. Run time: 20 minutes. And it shall be the best apology the industry can offer.

Thank you.

I LOVE this!

Indy IV was bad. George Lucas ruined it (watch the special features and tell me he didn't influence the whole thing with his unwillingness to REMOVE ALIENS). Shia as a punk kid didn't quite work that well for me either.

However Indy V goes, I'm going to pay to see it but George needs to chill out and let others make some decisions.

[PH3AR]

lets just hope at the end of this one, the treasure isnt knowledge!

[jadedeath]

Originally Posted by PH3AR

lets just hope at the end of this one, the treasure isnt knowledge!

But in Indy 4... the treasure WAS knowledge.

The knowledge that Spielberg and Lucas were washed up hacks that ran out of talent after their first 4 movies.

Logan

[Beast]

Originally Posted by Reeper1976

Ugh.

Would you like to know how Indy V should go? I've got the perfect script to follow up the disaster that was Indy IV:

We open in a frozen tundra. We see three men walking in a blizzard towards a large cave. Danny Elfman music playing triumphantly in the background.

The men make it inside the cave. We don't see their faces, as they are wearing thick hooded coats. After a few moments of spelunking, the men come to a wide open room, filled with gold and treasure.

In the center of the room is a golden idol, similar to the one in the first movie. One man steps forward and removes his hood. It's Indy. He walks slowly up to it and rubs his mouth, ala first movie, and debates about taking it.

Suddenly, one of the other men walks up and takes of his hood. It's George Lucas. He hands Indy a Jar-Jar statue and says 'Use this. It'll work. Trust me.'

Just then, the third guy in the back of the room takes off his hood; it's Steven Speilberg. He says 'Hey!' Indy and the nerd turn around. 'This is for ruining my movie, you son of a *****!' and plugs Lucas in his belly with a .45.

Indy tries to grab his whip and hit the gun away, but since he's 150, he's too slow. Indy takes a shot to the head, one in the nuggets, and loses a pinky.

Speilberg smiles and puts the gun away. As he turns to leave, ShortRound shows up, kicks him in the junk, steals the idol, and runs out to his jet airplane, just outside the cave, filled with supermodels.

As it takes off, we hear the faint sound of 'Tear The Roof Off The Sucka' by Parliament Funkadelic. Roll credits. Run time: 20 minutes. And it shall be the best apology the industry can offer.

Thank you.

Don't quit your day job.

[Beast]

Originally Posted by jadedeath

But in Indy 4... the treasure WAS knowledge.

The knowledge that Spielberg and Lucas were washed up hacks that ran out of talent after their first 4 movies.

Logan

Considering it was as good as the original, I disagree.

[PH3AR]

Originally Posted by jadedeath

But in Indy 4... the treasure WAS knowledge.

The knowledge that Spielberg and Lucas were washed up hacks that ran out of talent after their first 4 movies.

Logan

[zahinn]

Originally Posted by Wolverine1980

Indy 4 ruined my childhood and now I can never enjoy the trilogy again! Just got the same feeling from Indiana Jones 4 that I did from Star Trek 2009 that's all. Solid movies but nothing like their predecessors.

LIES 1!!!!!!111!!

Because you told me you never watched a single Star Trek film before.

[BStecke]

Originally Posted by Beast

Considering it was as good as the original, I disagree.

You've actually seen Raiders of the Lost Ark, right? Considered by many to be one of the best American movies ever? I think you'd be very hard pressed to find anyone who would say KOTCS could even jokingly be given the praise Raiders has received.

[PH3AR]

Originally Posted by BStecke

You've actually seen Raiders of the Lost Ark, right? Considered by many to be one of the best American movies ever? I think you'd be very hard pressed to find anyone who would say KOTCS could even jokingly be given the praise Raiders has received.

[Beast]

Originally Posted by BStecke

You've actually seen Raiders of the Lost Ark, right? Considered by many to be one of the best American movies ever? I think you'd be very hard pressed to find anyone who would say KOTCS could even jokingly be given the praise Raiders has received.

It can. And it does.

[BStecke]

Originally Posted by Beast

It can. And it does.

I wish I could feel the same way, but I think I genuinely hate KOTCS. I rewatch it every now and then to see if I can get the same enjoyment out of it that I get from any of the originals, but every time I watch it I hate it a little bit more as the dialog and action is just that much worse. After 25 years Raiders is still my favorite movie. KOTCS just feels completely hokey and sloppy, and they totally threw away any regard they had for the line that the originals walk between fantasy and reality.

[Beast]

Originally Posted by BStecke

I wish I could feel the same way, but I think I genuinely hate KOTCS. I rewatch it every now and then to see if I can get the same enjoyment out of it that I get from any of the originals, but every time I watch it I hate it a little bit more as the dialog and action is just that much worse. After 25 years Raiders is still my favorite movie. KOTCS just feels completely hokey and sloppy, and they totally threw away any regard they had for the line that the originals walk between fantasy and reality.

The originals are hokey as hell as well.

[BStecke]

Originally Posted by Beast

The originals are hokey as hell as well.

Not really. Humor and hokey are two totally different things. The humor in KOTCS is forced so badly that it is hokey. The originals are much more subtle.

[jadedeath]

I think I have it figured out guys.

I now know why Beast likes KOTCS so much.

Beast:

Do you {in fact} speak Havitos?

Logan

[EricJ]

Originally Posted by cajmoyper

I'm not all that certain what "cracked" means

In this case, it means different things:
To the columnist (who made it up), it means "Cracked out of security".
To the reader, it means "Oh, yeah, I'm sensin' 'cracked', all right... "

[mjbethancourt]

Originally Posted by jadedeath

You watched Indy 4... and the style of motorcycle is what you had a problem with..........

Logan

'Crystal Skulll' haters just seem to have a serious problem with wrapping their brain around the fact that some of us could let go and have fun with it, probably because we didn't go into it already having the script written in our heads and come out angry because it turned out different. Like most others, I go to the movies to be entertained, not to get pissed off. It sold a ton of tickets, and a lot of home videos. Haters are the minority... a loud, outspoken minority.

[BTobin]

they'll just over use the effects again and ruin it...the Labeouf kid did most of the damage but the effects didn't help...Lucas' scripts are starting to rely too heavily on CG and less on the acting...better were the days when he got his buddies to direct and write his films while he just came up with the Stories...I'm talking Willow, Star Wars 4-6, those were the days...I mean I still like the new star wars and I got Indy 4 because it was cheap and it was a three for 20 bucks deal, but they really can't compare...but a 5th one really is pushing it

[STARSCREAM]

Can't wait!