Who wants Conan the Barbarian on blu?

[Lucy Diamond]

Let's think for a second about Thulsa Doom's quest for self destruction.

One day he decides to lead a raiding party on a quest for steel.

In doing so, he meets a young boy named Conan and asks himself a question:
"How...by SET HOW can I truly pi$$ this boy off."

So he:
1. burns his village
2. kills most of his friends.
3. Kills his pets!!!
4. Murders his dad.
5. Beheads his mom...WHILE he's holding her hand.
6. Most likely raped the barnyard animals
7. Takes his father's sword!!! (you would think that would be enough...no...we are not finished.)
8. Straps him and some of the neighborhood kids to a grinding wheel and makes him walk around in a circle for YEARS.
9. Sells him off to a pitfighting group where he is forced to engage in brutal combat and unspeakable acts of desperate passion....with men and then bread like cattle to women.

The years go on and Conan is now pretty pi$$ed and gets his woman involved with the revenge but she is calming him down a little bit.

10. Conan messes up a raid and gets NAILED to a tree and fed on by vultures!!! (are you f'n kidding me)

Just when we reach the pinnacle of pi$$ed-off-ed-ness:
11. Thulsa Doom Kills Conan's woman.

Conan is now beyond pi$$ed.

Now THAT was character development!!!