The Movie Review and Discussion Thread

[Al_The_Strange]

Originally Posted by jvince

Genre: Horror / Romance / Thriller
Synopsis: A platoon of eagles attack the residence of a small town.
Running Time: 90 minutes

Director: James Nguyen
Writer: James Nguyen
Stars: Alan Bagh, Whitney Moore

[Show spoiler]
Say goodbye to your brain cells, 'cause you ain't getting them back after this.

"Birdemic" is the latest "romantic thriller" from the (self-proclaimed) "Master of Romantic Thrillers" James Nguyen, but an appropriate title would be "Master of Incompetence" because this is a 90-minute crash course on how not to make a movie. Shoddy acting, asinine plot, nonsensical script, perplexing camera angles, bipolar editing, shitty sound, even shittier effects... The list goes on and on. This is the epitome of bad. If you thought "Plan 9" or "Manos" was the worst movie ever made, this one will make you rethink that; this one's in a whole different league. In fact, it's the kind of movie that would force Ed Wood out of retirement just to one-up it.

The movie comes off as a socially awkward software salesman's fantasy of meeting a hot Victoria's Secret model in the midst of an attack of angry eagles caused by global warming (I'm serious, that's the actual plot). Alan Bagh, who plays the salesman Rod, is quite possibly the worst actor ever in the history of film. This guy wouldn't pass for a porno, nor a movie from the year 3011 with a cast of cyborg actors. He's that horrible. Apart from being a salesman and a full-on geek, I'm pretty sure his character Rod is also somewhat retarded. The way he walks, talks, acts, decides and even cooks all point strongly towards that notion. In fact, everyone else in this film is so inept apart from one, and that is the adorable Whitney Moore, who at least shows some charisma and actual acting chops as the model Nathalie. Surrounded by such a cast, it almost feels as if she's the only one who isn't in on the joke. But alas, there is no joke. Nguyen is actually dead serious, as his "Birdemic" turns out to be his own means of preaching about global warming. Countless long expositions delivered in a stilted manner abound. Hell, the characters even go on a double date to see "An Inconvenient Truth." All this needed was a cameo by Al Gore and Nguyen would've probably shit his pants in delight.

The sound editing is so bad I couldn't even call it amateurish, because an amateur could have done a much better job than this. It constantly goes in and out for the entire duration, even cutting out words in the process more often than a Dharma Initiative video. The film editing is also equally as bad with no sense of time whatsoever, constantly jumping to whatever quirky out-of-place shot Nguyen pleases. As a result, the movie comes off jarring, unpredictable, and even surreal. An overlong montage of quiet and peaceful scenery is suddenly followed by GIF eagles making like kamikaze dive-bombs blowing up into pixelated flames. A tree hugger's speech about nature is comically interrupted by a mountain lion. There is absolutely nothing that can prepare you for what happens next. The movie is just random sequence after random sequence pieced together. Just sit back and go with the ride, because what a joyful, mind-melting ride it is.

All of this amounts to something wonderfully bad. This movie is so unintentionally funny, it just might be one of the most hilarious movies you've seen in years. The crappy script is made of gold, with loads of memorable quotes thrown at you that your brain and lungs won't be able to keep up. The eagles are a hoot as well, what with their hatred towards cars, thieves, and even girls taking a shit in the grass. I imagine this would be the perfect movie for a drinking game, just beware of the increased chance of alcohol poisoning.

"Birdemic" despite all its flaws, is essential viewing for many reasons. One, this would serve as a perfect compilation of filmmaking don'ts for aspiring directors and writers. Two, this is one of the best unintentional comedies ever made. And three, watching this will certainly make you feel good knowing there's no way in hell you can possibly do worse.

Rating: 1/2 star out of 5 (4/5 for unintentional hilarity and entertainment)

Sounds like Dr Uwe Boll has a new contender for "worst filmmaker ever!"

[jvince]

Originally Posted by Al_The_Strange

Sounds like Dr Uwe Boll has a new contender for "worst filmmaker ever!"

Oh, but this one's so bad it's good. Boll's movies are just flat-out bad.

[CZAR]

Originally Posted by volcomsocal

Let Me In - 2010

[Show spoiler]First off, I'm not a horror fan, or a vampire movie fan. Second off, I know this is a remake of a Swedish film, and no, I haven't seen Let The Right One In.

I was blown away by Kick-Ass and Chloe's performance in that movie, so when I heard that she was in this new movie, I thought I'd give it a try.

The beginning was sorta creepy, and honestly, it was a little slow. But I knew it would speed up somewhat with the storyline so I just hung in there. I really enjoyed the 2 main character's performances. I also enjoyed the fact that there was a story beyond the whole "vampire" aspect of it. And that "non-vampire" part of the story was really nice. The movie as a whole was real dark and slow paced, but I really liked it. This movie, as much as I liked it, has no replay value to me.

PQ - 2.5/5

AQ - 4/5

4/5

Please tell me this wasnt a bluray u watched? If so I strongly disagree about the PQ. Got Em!!

Originally Posted by AKORIS

I enjoyed that film very much-- glad to have it on blu-ray

Right on kid. Great film. Got Em!!

[jhiggy23]

Originally Posted by jvince

I'm not a fan of the movie, but Bale was undeniably great. That was method acting at its finest. Take out Bale and I doubt it would be a good movie. He carried the whole thing and stole the spotlight from Wahlberg. I also disagree with you regarding who the better supporting actress was. Adams really didn't do anything special in her role. She just played it adequately.

Agree on all points. Bale was undeniably fantastic--his other roles don't approach how well he did here. Adams didn't do anything special and really shouldn't have even been nominated (Julianne Moore in The Kids Are All Right should've been)--Leo was far better.

[Steve46]

Coco Before Chanel

Directed by Anne Fontaine
Starring Audrey Tautou, Benoît Poelvoorde and Alessandro Nivola
110 minutes
French language with optional English subtitles

This is a film about individuality more than anything. There are elements of romance and some observations on how people use each other, but it's really about how a young woman chooses to be who she wants to be rather than who she's expected to be.

The film opens in a music hall setting with Coco (Tautou) singing a duet with her sister. Wealthy men use the place as a hunting ground for mistresses or prostitutes. Coco befriends Etienne Balsan, who is much older than her, but offers her the chance to spend time with a higher social class. She mixes with his upper class friends and is at first ridiculed and described as a boy because of the clothes she wears. She doesn't buy into the trend of wearing traditional dresses, corsets, giant hats or clothes designed to show off her body. She chooses an almost masculine style that's very plain by comparison.

She eventually gains a kind of acceptance and befriends an actress (Emmanuelle Devos) who takes her advice about what to wear.

Coco is not content to spend her days subservient to the idle rich and wants to work. This is frowned upon by her snooty acquaintances, but she's determined to pursue her own course.

The film shows how friendships can develop in unlikely situations and includes a romance between Coco and Boy (Nivola), who is genuinely touched by her.

I guess that all sounds a bit girly, doesn't it? Well, like Coco, I follow my own path and like what I like.

The highlight of the film is the performance of Audrey Tautou. I've been enchanted by her in a number of films such as Amelie, A Very Long Engagement, He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, The DaVinci Code and Dirty Pretty Things. She was the perfect choice for the part because she's somewhat similar to Coco in that she follows her own path. Not what most people consider attractive, but incredibly beautiful. Her face is capable of showing so much emotion. She can transition from pure joy to sorrow. If she had chosen to work in English-speaking roles, she would probably be a huge star with multiple awards. Again, she was the perfect choice for the role.

The Blu-ray is in the native French and offers the choice to see the film with or without subtitles. The presentation is decent and really comes alive in the shots of the French countryside.

I wouldn't recommend this film to everyone. It's not for those who need thrills or action in every scene. It moves slowly and is quite thought provoking. I found it fascinating and a surprisingly plausible account of Coco's early life.

Overall 4/5 (PQ 3.5/5)

[SquidPuppet]

Originally Posted by Pondosinatra

The 2004 one has tons of pointless sex?????

I liked both films, but the Cronenberg one is my favourite!

Originally Posted by Darth Anakin

I didn't notice a copious amount of sex in the film either!

Originally Posted by iam1bearcat

while i agree it sucked, i think you've lost some marbles Squiddy. 2004 version of Crash has "tons of pointless sex"? are you sure you're referring to the Oscar "award winning" (insert laughter here ) film about racism in Los Angeles that was more racist and insulting than the racism it was trying to convey?

i don't remember sex in that pile of trash

Originally Posted by iam1bearcat

lol make that three of us

Yeah. So? You guys are always perfect I guess?

LMAO at myself. I even looked up the dates so that I wouldnt mislead Diesel, and then I transposed them.

Yeah, yeah, I get the cone of shame.

[Marcus Wright]

Originally Posted by Steve46

Coco Before Chanel

Directed by Anne Fontaine
Starring Audrey Tautou, Benoît Poelvoorde and Alessandro Nivola
110 minutes
French language with optional English subtitles

[Show spoiler]This is a film about individuality more than anything. There are elements of romance and some observations on how people use each other, but it's really about how a young woman chooses to be who she wants to be rather than who she's expected to be.

The film opens in a music hall setting with Coco (Tautou) singing a duet with her sister. Wealthy men use the place as a hunting ground for mistresses or prostitutes. Coco befriends Etienne Balsan, who is much older than her, but offers her the chance to spend time with a higher social class. She mixes with his upper class friends and is at first ridiculed and described as a boy because of the clothes she wears. She doesn't buy into the trend of wearing traditional dresses, corsets, giant hats or clothes designed to show off her body. She chooses an almost masculine style that's very plain by comparison.

She eventually gains a kind of acceptance and befriends an actress (Emmanuelle Devos) who takes her advice about what to wear.

Coco is not content to spend her days subservient to the idle rich and wants to work. This is frowned upon by her snooty acquaintances, but she's determined to pursue her own course.

The film shows how friendships can develop in unlikely situations and includes a romance between Coco and Boy (Nivola), who is genuinely touched by her.

I guess that all sounds a bit girly, doesn't it? Well, like Coco, I follow my own path and like what I like.

The highlight of the film is the performance of Audrey Tautou. I've been enchanted by her in a number of films such as Amelie, A Very Long Engagement, He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, The DaVinci Code and Dirty Pretty Things. She was the perfect choice for the part because she's somewhat similar to Coco in that she follows her own path. Not what most people consider attractive, but incredibly beautiful. Her face is capable of showing so much emotion. She can transition from pure joy to sorrow. If she had chosen to work in English-speaking roles, she would probably be a huge star with multiple awards. Again, she was the perfect choice for the role.

The Blu-ray is in the native French and offers the choice to see the film with or without subtitles. The presentation is decent and really comes alive in the shots of the French countryside.

I wouldn't recommend this film to everyone. It's not for those who need thrills or action in every scene. It moves slowly and is quite thought provoking. I found it fascinating and a surprisingly plausible account of Coco's early life.

Overall 4/5 (PQ 3.5/5)

I love French movies and can bet that have seen more than most of you guys here, but this movie was plain horrible.
Nothing remarkable and boring to death.

[SquidPuppet]

Originally Posted by iam1bearcat

while i agree it sucked, i think you've lost some marbles Squiddy. 2004 version of Crash has "tons of pointless sex"? are you sure you're referring to the Oscar "award winning" (insert laughter here ) film about racism in Los Angeles that was more racist and insulting than the racism it was trying to convey?

i don't remember sex in that pile of trash

Now that I have my "versions" straight, I gotta say I really enjoyed the 2004 one. More racist that the racism? Didnt strike me that way.

[SquidPuppet]

Originally Posted by P@t_Mtl

Never seen the 2004 movie but for the 1996 movie, it was starring James Spader so then right away you know it will be full of weird without meaning strange sex.

Thank god someone had him on relax pills during the filming of Stargate, not sure I would have enjoy the movie if him and Kurt Russell ....well you get the idea

[Steve46]

Originally Posted by Marcus Wright

I love French movies and can bet that have seen more than most of you guys here, but this movie was plain horrible.
Nothing remarkable and boring to death.

Sorry to hear that.

What are your favorite French films?

[SquidPuppet]

Originally Posted by Pondosinatra

The only decent performances he's given was in American Psycho and The Mechanic (which was awesome)...(no I haven't seen Fighter)

You have not seen enough of his work then, IMO.

[SquidPuppet]

Originally Posted by jvince

Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2008)
.

Rating: 1/2 star out of 5 (4/5 for unintentional hilarity and entertainment)

What prompted you to even give that a shot?

[Diesel]

Of Mice and Men

I'll be brief:


We had to watch this back in high school and I haven't seen it since.

I remember really enjoying it then, and I really enjoyed it today

I'm sure the story is pretty well known from the book, so no need to cover that.

The part

[Show spoiler]where Candy decides to let them shoot his dog is very for me, as I'm a big lover of dogs. It's more sad than when it comes back around in the form of George deciding to kill Lennie

Gary Sinise is very good as George and John John Malkovich is perfect as Lennie.


A very good movie from a great book


Rating - 4.25/5

[jvince]

Originally Posted by SquidPuppet

What prompted you to even give that a shot?

lol... It looked truly awful so I had to check it out. If this was a MST3K episode, it would be a classic. It's that bad (or good).

[tbizzle]

Originally Posted by Darth Anakin

Fighter - 4/5
Christian Bale's performance was solid but not great I thought, also think Melissa Leo's performance was secondary to Amy Adams and the wrong supporting actress won the Oscar. Better than Rocky? Not sure yet but it was definitely a good movie and I recommend it to all.

I'm with the other guys... I thought Bale was absolutely fantastic and that Leo gave a far better performance than Adams. Plus, Adams hardly had any screentime... I'm not sure why she was nominated

[SquidPuppet]

Originally Posted by jvince

lol... It looked truly awful so I had to check it out. If this was a MST3K episode, it would be a classic. It's that bad (or good).

My cousin is like that. He has a massive collection of bad horror films. He watches them with his teenage son as comedies. He actually doesnt care for "good"/real horror films.

[SquidPuppet]

Originally Posted by tbizzle

I'm with the other guys... I thought Bale was absolutely fantastic and that Leo gave a far better performance than Adams. Plus, Adams hardly had any screentime... I'm not sure why she was nominated

Me three. Or four, or whatever.

Did you notice that Adams' accent would appear in some scenes and disappear in others? And some times it was subtle, and sometimes stronger? Not very polished IMO.

[jvince]

Originally Posted by SquidPuppet

My cousin is like that. He has a massive collection of bad horror films. He watches them with his teenage son as comedies. He actually doesnt care for "good"/real horror films.

I love good horror movies as well (sucks though since there really isn't much decent horror films nowadays). For me, a movie has to be really good or really bad. Average movies just annoy me with their plainness.

[Marcus Wright]

Originally Posted by Steve46

Sorry to hear that.

What are your favorite French films?

Mostly classic comedies and everything that has Piere Rishar and Lui Do Funes in particular in it. (sorry for spelling their names wrong).

Also, there are a couple of recent comedies that where really good too. the movie genre that French people exceed most at is comedies for sure.

[iam1bearcat]

Originally Posted by SquidPuppet

My cousin is like that. He has a massive collection of bad horror films. He watches them with his teenage son as comedies. He actually doesnt care for "good"/real horror films.

man... he's probably spent thousands on that collection! there's only like, 25 good / great horror films out there, so he has plenty to choose from!