Quote:
Originally Posted by iam1bearcat
NSE! NSE! NSE! NSE! 
sure it wasn't a shoulder of time? how about an elbow of time?  |
I was going to bring that up, but the amounts of time he's called me out, it seemed unfair
Quote:
Originally Posted by KilloWertz
No, he doesn't. Neither do you in this case either.
You do know that he probably wouldn't like those either, right?  |
I always make sense, and he would love both of those films
But here is a film Diesel enjoyed...me, not so much
Green Lantern
Wow, this was a bad one!
I'm actually kinda offended this got a wide release in theatres worldwide
It's patronising, it's really dumb, it's very corporate (first scene involving Hal Jordan saving someone, he imagines up a Hot Wheels track
), it's cliched, it's cheesy in an awful way. The only way I could really do service reviewing it is by going scene by scene.
First off, we start in 1993 (although you would be mistaken for it being the goddamn early 60's
as we see Hal Jordan skipping school to see his dad test fly a new jet, we are all introduced to characters not too subtly, and it's only made sickening obvious by the fact he's sent up to an office to meet 5 different character (All of which address everyone by name) and then sent back down again.
His dad dies in a jet accident which leaves young Hal scared for life...nope, not really, he becomes a Jet Pilot himself, a loose canon one as well. However, after a risky maneuver at a test flight, his engine stalls as we see it flash back to about 5 MINUTES PREVIOUSLY to his Dad's death
Because you know, the general public have the memory of Goldfish apparently.
After this, Hal gets fired/quits and basically shrugs it off (Because you know, in this world, snazzy apartments pay for themselves) as he goes to his nephews Birthday party, who is very worried that he may have died in the test flight, however Hal comforts him in a very good scene that was very heartwarming...good thing we never see any of these characters again
However, an green entity zaps Hal and teleports him to a dying alien, who gives Hal his ring telling him the ring chose him. Hal buried the strange being and calls up his friend to pick him up (Luckily the ring found the most fearless human in the nearest 10 Miles tops), his friend sees to army helicopters come his way to investigate the alien crash site, as he tells Hal that they will find it mysterious that the alien is buried. A plot point surely to come up soon...NOPE, apparently the army isn't to bothered about a man finding out about Aliens, apparently they also can't see speeding cars in the dark with it's lights on as well.
Anyway we find out that Hal has been chosen to become a part of a privileged alien race called the green lanterns. And from then on the whole film becomes very dense...
It's very overly crammed with not a lot of space to properly set up ideas. If you miss the idea that Hector was in the opening scene of the film, then you will complete be confused as to how Hector Hammond is connected the Hal Jordan, and how they will know each other. Which, if you are a casual film watcher and don't know you're comics, this will go completely over your head in first viewing.
Same for Blake Lively, she is a poorly set up romantic interest, she's brought up, she doesn't like Hal, next scene we see here, she's dancing and drinking with him, half way through the film we see they have a history in romance that is only briefly explained, and then at the end of the film they are making out.
When ever trouble is going down, Hal Jordan ends up turning up with no explanation, and the moment the film really cemented itself as a piece of shit is a scene about hour and a half in where Hector Hammond starts killing scientists, and then Hal Jordan turns up. Keeping in mind that this is a secret base that we have no idea where it is, he magically knows where abouts it is.
This happens again later on in the film
Most the action scenes in here are pretty pointless and hollow to be honest, in every single on of them they have little context as to what happens, in a bar brawl, we are told that these three guys told Reynolds to watch his back because it's his fault they were laid off work, really, when did this happen? And plus he kills one of these guys, he physically kills him with a brick wall
And a scene involving a helicopter and the, sure to be, infamous hot wheels scene, is started with a bust water pipe busting, what are the actual chances of that happening
Another thing that really made this unwatchable is how bad Peter Sarsgaard is hamming it up, like I know how bad it is to be acting as a giant human testicle in a film this big, but he's just not fun to watch, he's more Loony Toons than a dangerous man. It's sounds a bit daft but he's unpleasant to be around, I know he's the villain, but it's more like a homeless guy asking for money for some crack or marijuana over an actual threat.
As for good things, well for the train wreak go around him, Ryan Reynolds is very good, it's questionable how big of a comic book fan he is for signing up for this, but he is putting his all in the performance.
And I really like the scenes on the green corp planet, it's very well done, it's a tad cliched at times, but it's the only time there is an actual heart and soul in the film, they really brought that place to life, even the special effects (which is horrendously bad at time) are at it's best on that planet. The character designs are fantastic, the script is loosened up and is a lot of fun and it's the only time where action scenes are well done and make sense, even though there is no physical danger in them.
Bad thing is, these only make up about 10 minutes of the entire film
I also like the feel of the film for the first few mins of it, it's a bit silly, it's not taking itself too seriously but it's got it's story to tell and it's going to do it with dignity. It was very feel good, although this only lasts about 10 mins
I can physically tell where Green Lantern went wrong, it was the moment some producer at Warner saw Iron Man and said, "that's popular, lets make an Iron Man film with one of our characters". It's a complete failure of a film, it's a mess, a very big mess, it's not fun, it's not enjoyable, and the biggest problem, it could of been a really great film if it followed it's opening 10 mins
2/10
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