The Movie Review and Discussion Thread

[Abdrewes]

Based on the Boom! Studios comic book of the same name, 2 Guns is a buddy cop movie that merely aims for passable. Fair one-liners, lean action set pieces and strong chemistry between the two leads elevate what is otherwise a by-the-numbers affair.

Though the true identities of the duo are not revealed, the opening diner scene plays out like a checklist of buddy cop character clichés. Mark Wahlberg’s Marcus Stigman is the young hot shot, while Denzel Washington’s Bobby Trench is the reserved veteran. One is white, while the other is black. It has the makings for a straight-ahead genre rehash, and the following two hours do not fail to live up to that.

Their immediate goal is to squeeze $43.125 million out of a bank next to the diner with “the best donuts in three counties.” The saying goes that robbing a bank adjacent to said diner is a bad omen and what ensues proves to be the truth and then some. Trench learns that Stigman is actually a Navy SEAL whom has been ordered by his commanding officer (played by James Marsden) to deliver him the money. It is then revealed that Trench has been working for the DEA all along. Following this rocky start, the two must team up in the investigation of the true motives behind their benefactor’s wishes. With the drug cartel and various corrupt government agencies dead set on acquiring the loot, up is down. Fish become sharks and allegiances are shifted every five minutes in this twisty ride.

Factored in the plot is Paula Patton as Bobby’s former flame and fellow DEA operative. From the emotional backbone of Tony Scott’s criminally underrated Déjà vu to the seductress lynchpin of the IMF team’s master-plan in Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, she can be a terrific on-screen presence. So it comes as a crushing disappointment to see her reduced to a plot device and the source of gratuitous nudity here. She deserves better, and so do all the minor characters.

Edward James Olmos (forever immortalized as Detective Gaff from Blade Runner) and Bill Paxton, the two leading antagonist forces, seem to have taken classes at the John Malkovich “school of hammy villain acting.” However, I have a sneaky suspicion that they did not see the semester through as none of their grandstanding anticsmatch the heedless abandon of Con Air’s Cyrus ‘The Virus.” Still, both the film and its “baddies” do not hold a candle to their 1980’s and 90’s counterparts.

The team of Mark Wahlberg and Denzel Washington are a far cry from Lethal Weapon’s Mel Gibson and Danny Glover, but they don’t a half bad job either. They have a winning rapport. Their assured delivery elevates even the most shopworn banter that probably doesn’t have the crackle of the one-liners Quentin Tarantino removed while punching up Crimson Tide’s script. Writer Blake Masters has done his damnedest to replace Troy Duffy as Tarantino’s number one altar boy as he lifts dialogue wholesale from the renouned director’s films, most notably the waitress tipping lines from Reservoir Dogs. That would have rendered any other film a giant miss, but somehow 2 Guns stays afloat.

The film’s faults would amount to a laundry list, but what saves it from being a complete draggy, lurching ride is exactly what director Baltasar Kormákur’s English language debut film, Contraband, didn’t have: a self referential vibe and clean, workmanlike storytelling. It’s chief missteps wereits straight-faced self-seriousness and very sloppily handled timelines—it was hard to give a care about the characters when I didn’t believe the two main narrative strands could intersect in such a contrived way.

2 Guns, though every bit as genre devout as that effort, is much more palatable with the infusion of a comically warped Southwest backdrop and two pretty solid turns by its leads. It’s not much, but it should make a fair rental on home video in a few months.

2.5/4

[legendarymatt92]

Originally Posted by Abdrewes

That was a lovely read, Matt. And I couldn't agree more

(My prediction was correct!)

Thanks, man; it's nowhere near as fluid or good as your dissections, but I just wanted to get some concrete thoughts down somewhere.

And yeah, it was: it fell exactly in the 90% category, but was just short of a complete 10. What do you score it?

[legendarymatt92]

"I've come back from worse than this."

The Good Points: Ashley Tisdale's performance is surprisingly not that bad...I think that's it. Oh no, wait, there was that one funny thing when...nope, I'm thinking of a different film.

The Bad Points: Everything else. Talk about lazy, ludicrous, juvenile, out-of-touch, incredibly boring and mind-numbing humour, this takes the crown as one of the worst "comedies" ever released, right alongside Movie 43. Everything's either stupid, inane or just plain offensive, and there are almost no laughs for the entirety of its run-time.


Utilising stale, old jokes (what, hitting a baby on the head is still funny?) and terrible parodies of much more successful films, Scary MoVie is an attempted cash-in on something that was once funny but has just grown immature and tedious. The only satisfaction you'll get out of this is when it ends and you realise you're free.

0.6/10

[I gave it a 0.6 because A) it's infinitely better than Movie 43 could ever hope to be (let's face it, almost everything is) and B) because, like the aforementioned film, it's a miracle they managed to get more than one person to meet on consecutive days to shoot without anyone pointing out how downright shit it was.]

[Abdrewes]

Originally Posted by legendarymatt92

Thanks, man; it's nowhere near as fluid or good as your dissections, but I just wanted to get some concrete thoughts down somewhere.

And yeah, it was: it fell exactly in the 90% category, but was just short of a complete 10. What do you score it?

3.5/4.

I think your prose is much more lean and efficient than mine. Sometimes I feel my writing can be a bit herky jerky and not clear enough on plot mechanics.

[Foggy]

I don't care how bad Scary Movie 5 is, Keith Lemon is worse. (Movie 43 may challenge that though)

[legendarymatt92]

Originally Posted by Foggy

I don't care how bad Scary Movie 5 is, Keith Lemon is worse. (Movie 43 may challenge that though)

It may well be, but at least you kind of know what to expect from a Lemon project; mediocre, immature jokes fuelled by juvenile situations. Scary MoVie is made worse by parodying in an abysmal fashion, something it didn't have to do.

To be fair, I'd give none of them the time of day. Forget they've ever been made and live life to the fullest, Fogster

[Foggy]

Originally Posted by legendarymatt92

It may well be, but at least you kind of know what to expect from a Lemon project; mediocre, immature jokes fuelled by juvenile situations. Scary MoVie is made worse by parodying in an abysmal fashion, something it didn't have to do.

To be fair, I'd give none of them the time of day. Forget they've ever been made and live life to the fullest, Fogster

Why, did the other Scary Movies not do parodies?

[legendarymatt92]

Originally Posted by Foggy

Why, did the other Scary Movies not do parodies?

They put a bit of effort in, at least. Even the fourth has some entertaining moments, and that was mainly turgid. It's as though the screenwriters knocked up the script in half an hour using a "guide to relevant jokes" book from a decade ago.

[Al_The_Strange]

Originally Posted by jvince

Deep Blue Sea (1999)
dir. Renny Harlin

The Good: Highly entertaining. Stupid fun. Never gets old (no matter how many times they show it on TV). Impressive animatronics. The opening scene. Saffron Burrows. The helicopter sequence. The kitchen scene. Sam Jackson getting eaten by a shark. The ladder scene. Saffron Burrows stripping for no reason. The climax. "You wait your whole life for a single moment and then suddenly it's tomorrow." "He's pissing into the wind! How brilliant can he be?" "Fat butt... you got a big fat butt!" "Eat me, *******." "You ate my bird." "You stupid *****!" "They got a pill for what's wrong with you?" "We're going to pull together and we're gonna find a way to get outta here! First, we're gonna seal off this..." "I spent four years at CalTech, and that's the best physics explanation I've ever heard." "We will start with the perfect omelette which is made with two eggs, not three. Amateurs often add milk for density; this is a mistake." "Yeah, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. For thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. Because I carry a big stick and I'm the meanest mother****er in the valley! Two sharks down, Lord! One demon fish to go! Can I get an Amen?" "That's the smartest thing you've said all day." "Come to mama." "Bring me some sushi." "Take me back to the ghetto." "Amen." 'Deepest Bluest' by LL Cool J.

The Bad: Pretty much everything.

The Bottom Line: Sorry Sharknado, but this is still the second best shark movie ever made (although that's not exactly high praise). Deep Blue Sea is ludicrous and dumb as ****, and I love it. Hollywood doesn't make good bad movies like it used to anymore.

Originally Posted by SquidPuppet

I don't understand.

Well, I thought it was rather odd to see people hanging off of the walls by their heads, for even though I find the aesthetics of that brief trailer appealing, I was thoroughly weirded out. But if I'm the only one, then I'll just shut up and eventually get around to seasons 2 and 3 of American Horror Story.

[legendarymatt92]

Originally Posted by Al_The_Strange

Well, I thought it was rather odd to see people hanging off of the walls by their heads, for even though I find the aesthetics of that brief trailer appealing, I was thoroughly weirded out. But if I'm the only one, then I'll just shut up and eventually get around to seasons 2 and 3 of American Horror Story.

I thought the point was to be weirded out and think it was odd?

[Al_The_Strange]

Originally Posted by legendarymatt92

I thought the point was to be weirded out and think it was odd?

Yep, and I thought I was weirded out, so it too weird to be weirded out?

[legendarymatt92]

Originally Posted by Al_The_Strange

Yep, and I thought I was weirded out, so it too weird to be weirded out?

Do you recommend the series? I've never watched any of them.

[Al_The_Strange]

Originally Posted by legendarymatt92

Do you recommend the series? I've never watched any of them.

I thought season one was pretty good. Definitely some intense, messed-up drama and some decently creepy scenes.

[legendarymatt92]

Originally Posted by Al_The_Strange

I thought season one was pretty good. Definitely some intense, messed-up drama and some decently creepy scenes.

The real brilliance appears to be more and more in TV, these days. I'll have to check 'em out then.

[Al_The_Strange]

Originally Posted by legendarymatt92

The real brilliance appears to be more and more in TV, these days. I'll have to check 'em out then.

Either that, or video games.

I do have a lot of TV I should catch up on. Currently going through season 3 of Star Trek: The Next Generation; it's a thing of beauty on Blu-Ray. Picked up season 4 as well. After that, I need to catch up on Breaking Bad, Games of Thrones, and more anime (never got around to watching my copies of Xam'd, Basilisk, or Appleseed XIII).

Might have to watch Lost again too, since I never did watch season 6.

[legendarymatt92]

Originally Posted by Al_The_Strange

Either that, or video games.

I do have a lot of TV I should catch up on. Currently going through season 3 of Star Trek: The Next Generation; it's a thing of beauty on Blu-Ray. Picked up season 4 as well. After that, I need to catch up on Breaking Bad, Games of Thrones, and more anime (never got around to watching my copies of Xam'd, Basilisk, or Appleseed XIII).

Might have to watch Lost again too, since I never did watch season 6.

That's a lot of catching up to do! I hear The Last of Us is magnificent, too.

[Al_The_Strange]

Originally Posted by legendarymatt92

That's a lot of catching up to do! I hear The Last of Us is magnificent, too.

The Last of Us is indeed great. Probably the one game that could have made me cry; the character development, story, and tone are that effective.

Bioshock Infinite is probably my favorite this year though; the settings and themes are interesting as they are, but that twist ending put it in a whole new level of brilliance.

[Foggy]

Originally Posted by Al_The_Strange

The Last of Us is indeed great. Probably the one game that could have made me cry; the character development, story, and tone are that effective.

Bioshock Infinite is probably my favorite this year though; the settings and themes are interesting as they are, but that twist ending put it in a whole new level of brilliance.

Glad I'm not alone on this one.

The Last of Us is magnificent, but it's all very much been there done that, it expertly made and has a real kicker ending, but the exploration and extrovert layered storytelling in Bioshock: Infinite is just pure bliss to me. You have no idea what direction the story is going in, the gameplay is just insane along with the level design that can change completely in a whim. And plus you can summon birds to peck geezers to death.

[KilloWertz]

Originally Posted by legendarymatt92

"He's not dangerous. He loves her, Neck."

Set within Nichol's treasured Arkansas delta, amidst confrontation between houseboat citizens and the River Agency that controls the area, Mud serves as an intensely unique but fascinatingly familiar coming-of-age drama about two adventurous boys and their chance meeting with the mysterious titular character.

The most impressive element, for me, was the vaguely described situations and ambiguous atmosphere; you hear the stories from a multitude of people, yet Nichols instils a lingering doubt that everything may be much more complex and sinister than the young boys are led to believe. Their teenage bravado, coupled with a sense of self-righteousness for helping someone as desperate and downtrodden as Mud, crafts some incredible, memorable moments in one of the best displays of evolving maturity since Rob Reiner's masterpiece Stand By Me. Even the "adult" arguments, be it from Ellis' parents, Neckbone's uncle (played fantastically uncouth by Michael Shannon) or Mud's pursuers, are given elegant simplicity; for two-thirds of the film, it's almost as though the world around them is as whimsical as the boys believe it to be, and it provides some of the best characterisation and identification this year.

Visually, the film is beautiful, even when it's ugly; the Arkansas landscape, this backward, beaten place, is framed perfectly, and almost every shot is worthy of being a photograph on its own merits. The camera, almost like the third member of their group, follows the boys everywhere, twisting through trees and under trailers, tracking their every movement with wonder. There's hardly ever a moment when beauty and stillness isn't imbued in the very fabric of the film, and the dialogue benefits from never coming across as sanctimonious or false when it easily could have been in less competent directorial hands.

It does have some minimal flaws; it may be much too sincere and saccharine for some people, and its

[Show spoiler]firefight

feels like a major departure from the slow-building, suspenseful narrative that had come before, but it's hard to focus too much on these moments when the film does everything else so well.

Despite these extremely minute problems, Mud is both heartfelt and emotionally engaging in perfect balance. It proves why Nichols is fast becoming one of the most important, and acclaimed, directors around, and I look forward to his future works. If you haven't seen this, do yourself a favour and watch it as soon as possible -- you won't regret it.

9/10

I blind bought this on Tuesday. Really looking forward to watching my copy when I get the chance.

The $10 price tag this can be had for at Best Buy right now could very well end up being an absolute steal.

[Abdrewes]

Sharknado review coming soon!