Can we have this talk?

[JayTL]

Can we have an open discussion? About moderators, with moderators. I'm not looking to start an argument, nor am I trying to call out any moderators (1. I don't know who I would even call out, and 2. Yes, I got banned for that before). I'm a fairly opinionated person. I also like to have discussions. I don't need to agree with anyone to have a conversation, in fact I actually love a debate. Which is why I hate what happened to me a couple months ago in the SW prequel thread. Not the petty arguments I was banned for. I get that. But the personal attacks. Because I'm not a fan of a series, I was insulted, threatened, etc. I am very opinionated. I will also defend myself from personal attacks. I get called a child, when the other party acts a certain way, I will call out that action. If someone gets offended that I call them a baby while acting like a baby, well that's on them. I understand why I was banned. But then the reason given to me is

If you’re going to report people, your own behavior better be above reproach. You’re doing as much trolling and name-calling as anyone in the SW prequel thread.
Date the ban will be lifted: 09-05-2021, 06:00 PM

Thought that was weird, because I don't report posts anymore. I haven't since I was banned for…reporting too many posts. I figured reporting was a method of notifying the mods of "hey, I thought is post is breaking the rules, wanna check on that?". So I'm assuming the reasoning was because they guy I was arguing with got banned and we got the same "reasoning" message.

But herin lies the problem: I won't have that discussion with that mod. For 2 months I couldn't. Did I deserve the ban? Probably. Did I want more clarification? Yes. Did I do anything about it but wait out the two months? I became more active on other forums (mainly reddit and twitter) because this was my main site to talk movies. From what I'm seeing, things aren't getting better. People getting banned and then half a page of users are wondering why. Posts get deleted and people wonder why, so they repost. Then get banned.

The mods don't owe any explanation. The admins don't owe an explanation. But why not try to smooth things over and make a post that says "Hey I deleted some posts, because of XYZ…cut the crap". Or a PM to a user "JayTL, cut the crap". The fact that there's no real way to engage the mods besides reporting a post (which would get you banned if the wrong mod sees it), or posting in a thread asking why the mods haven’t done anything yet (also can get you banned.)

And now the point of this post: What I think the site can do better, and what I will do to be better:
I think this site needs more transparency, or maybe even "ambassadors", users who but have more visibility but less power (can't ban, but can delete posts...someone who can keep the peace) than a mod. I don't have any issues with any specific mods. I have no idea if any specific mods have issues with me. I've gotten some passive aggressive "ban comments". It'd be nice to see who sent it, and I would love the ability to respond. But I can see that being abused/give the mods some unnecessary abuse. I'm a grown up and I can have a grown-up conversation with the mods regarding my behavior and improving the forum. Anyone can see when I edit my posts. I can offer an explanation. Why not have the mods do so too?

So things I will do to be better: I can have a temper…But I'm also super respectful to other people's opinions. I will never judge or downplay an opinion. I will feel free to post my own opinions with that same respect. If I get any personal attacks, or posts responding to me in a negative way, I will not respond to that. I will not report the post, I will just put the user on ignore and move on. That goes for posts like the one quoted underneath. I can have conversations about movies I like, dislike, looking forward to, and movies I'm not looking forward to (although with that last example I might not have much to say).
I like this site to have conversations. It's big enough to have varied opinions and good conversations, but it's small enough to get to know users (as opposed to something like Twitter or reddit where you just kind of say your peace and maybe someone will respond)

Wow, I really touched a nerve there didn't I? You do a wonderful impression of being a whole lot younger than you claim to be, you know. Well done, you.

And I'd be the first to affirm that Star Wars is aimed at a younger audience. Just not as young as you.

(for what it's worth, that post is still up after all this time. No effort to advance any movie discussion, just insults)

I hope this thread can stay up. But I also hope for a lot of things. Please don't take this as a post of my thinking I can run this site better or telling the Mods how to moderate. I'm just hoping to create a discussion and maybe both the users and moderators can learn something, and maybe come to some mutual understanding.