Chuck Norris Facts - Blu-ray Forum

Jeremy1983 · 01-13-2009, 11:43 PM

List your favorite Chuck Norris facts. Here's mine:

"Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried."

joegs300 · 01-14-2009, 12:48 AM

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

JasonR · 01-14-2009, 12:53 AM

Quote:

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

Quote:

Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page1.html

Sussudio · 01-14-2009, 01:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JasonR

there's a chuck norris animated gif??? wow. now i've seen everything.

edit: how did these chuck norris jokes even get started in the first place

crackinhedz · 01-14-2009, 01:03 AM

"A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there."

JasonR · 01-14-2009, 01:22 AM

Quote:

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

.

Clark Kent · 01-14-2009, 01:43 AM

The Chuck Norris jokes continue to amuse long after I have heard most of them...

he may be reading this so these are really tributes to his awesomeness.

Sussudio · 01-14-2009, 01:58 AM

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

xtop · 01-14-2009, 01:58 AM

i've always preferred jack bauer to chuck norris. but both are good for a laugh

KamiAmaya · 01-14-2009, 02:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoYouBlu

edit: how did these chuck norris jokes even get started in the first place

I think it started on Conan O'Brien, could be wrong though...

Hey guys, go to google, type in "Find Chuck Norris" then hit I'm Feeling Lucky

JasonR · 01-14-2009, 02:17 AM

^^^That is hilarious!

Tratious · 01-14-2009, 02:47 AM

http://nochucknorris.com

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stands outside and dares it to grow.

Chuck Norris has 2 speeds...Walk and Kill.

When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.

Sussudio · 01-14-2009, 02:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KamiAmaya

Hey guys, go to google, type in "Find Chuck Norris" then hit I'm Feeling Lucky

lol that ruled

beefytwinkie · 01-14-2009, 03:01 AM

This one is my favorite:

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Sussudio · 01-14-2009, 03:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beefytwinkie

This one is my favorite:

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

ZackL · 01-14-2009, 03:26 AM

I always found these funny.

Siri · 01-14-2009, 04:02 AM

-Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

-James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

FIDDYPOP · 01-14-2009, 04:20 AM

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
These are only funny because he is such a lameass.

blubullet · 01-14-2009, 04:39 AM

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.

wormraper · 01-14-2009, 04:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FIDDYPOP

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
These are only funny because he is such a lameass.

lol, he makes HORRIBLE movies, but my God he is an amazing Martial artist.

01-14-2009, 04:02 AM	#17
Siri Blu-ray Guru Member since:Aug 2007 Location:New Jersey Home Theater Gallery:34 Blu-ray collection:357 Blu-ray reviews:3 Trading Score:5	-Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. -James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Last edited by Siri; 01-14-2009 at 04:04 AM.

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01-14-2009, 12:48 AM	#2
joegs300 Special Member Member since:Dec 2008 Location:West Los Angeles, CA Home Theater Gallery:19 Trading Score:45	Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

01-14-2009, 01:03 AM	#5
crackinhedz Super Moderator Member since:Feb 2007 Home Theater Gallery:10 Blu-ray reviews:8 Trading Score:19	"A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there."

01-14-2009, 01:43 AM	#7
Clark Kent Blu-ray Prince Top contributor Member since:Oct 2007 Location:Metropolis Blu-ray reviews:2 Trading Score:184	The Chuck Norris jokes continue to amuse long after I have heard most of them... he may be reading this so these are really tributes to his awesomeness.

01-14-2009, 01:58 AM	#8
Sussudio Blu-ray Champion Member since:Sep 2008 Blu-ray collection:1 Blu-ray reviews:1 Trading Score:11	Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

01-14-2009, 01:58 AM	#9
xtop Blu-ray Count Member since:Oct 2007 Blu-ray collection:- DVD collection:- Digital collection:- Trading Score:3	i've always preferred jack bauer to chuck norris. but both are good for a laugh

01-14-2009, 02:17 AM	#11
JasonR Super Moderator Top contributor Member since:Nov 2007 Trading Score:12	^^^That is hilarious!

01-14-2009, 02:47 AM	#12
Tratious Member Member since:Aug 2007 Blu-ray collection:-	http://nochucknorris.com Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stands outside and dares it to grow. Chuck Norris has 2 speeds...Walk and Kill. When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.

01-14-2009, 03:01 AM	#14
beefytwinkie Blu-ray Guru Member since:Oct 2008 4K collection:13 Blu-ray collection:459 Trading Score:6	This one is my favorite: Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

01-14-2009, 03:26 AM	#16
ZackL Senior Member Member since:Mar 2008 Location:Ontario, Canada	I always found these funny.

01-14-2009, 04:20 AM	#18
FIDDYPOP Expert Member Member since:Jan 2008 Location:Chi-Town Home Theater Gallery:8 Blu-ray collection:444 Blu-ray reviews:1	For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one. These are only funny because he is such a lameass.

01-14-2009, 04:39 AM	#19
blubullet Active Member Member since:Nov 2007 Location:USA 4K collection:- Blu-ray collection:- DVD collection:- MA collection:- Digital collection:- iTunes collection:- Prime collection:-	Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.

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