Funnest tropic thunder quotes?

[GLaDOS]

Originally Posted by Petra_Kalbrain

Without quoting the entire script , here are a few of my favourites...

"I'm a rooster illusion."

"Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, Rain Man, looked retarded, acted retarded, not retarded. Counted toothpicks, cheated cards. Autistic, sho'. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, Forrest Gump. Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain't retarded. Peter Sellers, Being There. Infantile, yes. Retarded, no. You went full retard, man. Never go full retard. You don't buy that? Ask Sean Penn, 2001, I Am Sam. Remember? Went full retard, went home empty handed."

"I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe, and swwwwaaallow the gravy."

"I'm a lead farmer motherf***er!"

"Now I want you to take a step back... and literally F**K your own face!"

"And who here is the key grip? You? You! Hit that director in the face, really f***ing hard! "

"Mother nature just pissed her pant suit!!!"

"Pump your breaks, kid, that man's a national treasure." (referring to Crocodile Dundee)

"I know what dude I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude! You're the dude that don't know what dude he is."

"I don't read the script. The script reads me."

"I need to bite its hide... and wear its stomach like a unitard."

"You know back before the war broke out I was a saucier in San Antone. I bet I could collar up some of them greens, yeah, some crawfish out the paddy, yo'! Ha! I'm makin' some crabapples for dessert now, yo! Hell yeah, ha!"

"Same thing happened to me when I played Neil Armstrong in Moonshot. They found me in an alley in Burbank trying to re-enter the earth's atmosphere in an old refrigerator box."

"Man, I don't drop character 'till I done the DVD commentary."

"You more shredded than a Julienne salad, man."

"Cockburn, from now on my fist is going to be so far up your sh*thole that every time you have a thought, it's gonna have to tiptoe past my wedding ring."

"Let's move! We only have 16 hours before they wake up!"

[chemokidd]

You never go full retard!

[GLaDOS]

Who left the fridge open?

[CYMBOL]

I had tears in my eyes any time Cruise was on screen. I could not believe that was him - just awesome!

[tilapiah6]

spank that ass Les!

[adrianoupike]

A nutless monkey could do your job. Now, go get drunk and take credit at all the parties

[uziel5000]

Well Cruise certainly nailed his role in this movie...

More than a quote, I keep remembering an image: Tom Cruise(of course!) standing in front of Speedman's agent, offering him money and a jet, dancing while holding his arm in front of him and singing:

"Big D**k Playa'!!!"

[PH3AR]

Originally Posted by uziel5000

Well Cruise certainly nailed his role in this movie...

More than a quote, I keep remembering an image: Tom Cruise(of course!) standing in front of Speedman's agent, offering him money and a jet, dancing while holding his arm in front of him and singing:

"Big D**k Playa'!!!"

Cruise was extremely funny in this movie!

[GLaDOS]

Tugg Speedman: There were times while I was playing Jack where I felt...
Tugg Speedman: ...retarded. Like, really retarded.
Kirk Lazarus: Damn!
Tugg Speedman: In a weird way I had to sort of just free myself up to believe that is was ok to be stupid or dumb.
Kirk Lazarus: To be a moron.
Tugg Speedman: Yeah!
Kirk Lazarus: To be moronical.
Tugg Speedman: Exactly, to be a moron.
Kirk Lazarus: An imbecile.
Tugg Speedman: Yeah!
Kirk Lazarus: Like the dumbest mother f*cker that ever lived.
Tugg Speedman: When I was playing the character.

Alpa Chino: No, I always wanted to. I guess I just never had the courage to ask. It's complicated.
Kirk Lazarus: Nah! It's simple as pie man, you plant your feet on the ground, you look her square in the eyes you say "Hey! baby, you and me's goin' on a date, that's in the story"... What's her name?
Alpa Chino: ...Lance
Kirk Lazarus: You say 'Listen here, Lance'... Lance? What the f*ck did I just hear? Lance?
Kevin Sandusky: Did you just say Lance?
Alpa Chino: No! No, I didn't say Lance. I said Nance.
Kevin Sandusky: It sounded a lot like Lance.
Alpa Chino: Dammit, I'm Alpa Chino! 'I Love Tha P***y', aight? Lay yo ass back down and look at the stars.
Kirk Lazarus: When you wrote 'I Love Tha P***y', was you thinking about danglin your dice on Lance's forehead?