Funniest Movie Quotes

[Ron_Burgundy]

Brian Fantana: I'll give this little cookie an hour before we're doing the no-pants dance. Time to musk up.

Ron Burgundy: Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight.

Brian : No, she gets a special cologne...It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries...Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.

Ron Burgundy: It's quite pungent.

Brian : Oh yeah.

Ron Burgundy: It's a formidable scent...It stings the nostrils. In a good way.

Brian : Yep.

Ron Burgundy: Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.

Brian : They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time.

Ron Burgundy: That doesn't make sense.

Brian : Well...Let's go see if we can make this little kitty purr.

[blu-backer]

"Willie Mays Hayes, run like Mays, hit like Hayes."
"You may run like Mays, but you hit like $hit."

[Riff Magnum]

This is another movie where pretty much every line from every charachter becomes quotable after the 5th or 6th viewing, but anything by Walter Soapcheck (sp? John Goodmans charachter) is pure gold.

"You wanna toe? I can get you a toe, with nail polish?
"Shomer f**king Shabas."
"I'm perfectly calm dude."
"This is what happens when you f*ck a stranger in the *ss."
"Mark it zero!"

[Blu-ray Fanatic]

I'll buy that for a dollar!!!

[Blu-ray Fanatic]

I'm just a eating, drinking, fu**ing Santa Clause!

Prove It.

[Blu-ray Fanatic]

I'm on my fu**ing lunch break!!!!!

[MPDIEHL]

If you can dodge a wrench then you can dodge a ball....

‘It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.’

I would rather entertain and hope that people learned something than educate people and hope they were entertained.
Walt Disney

[Goose]

From Tombstone;

Doc Holliday to Johnny Ringo: "I'm your Huckleberry"

From True Grit:

Lucky Ned Pepper to Rooster Cogburn: "That's pretty big talk for a one eyed fat man"

From Kindergarten Cop;

"I'm a cop you idiot"


I guess you had to be there.

[moose4130]

"Pyle, you look like 150 pounds of chewed bubble gum!"

Doc: "Marty, you're just not thinking fourth dimensionally!"
Marty: "Yeah, I've got a real problem with that."

Inigo: "Who are you?"
Pirate: "No one of consequence."
Inigo: "Please, I must know."
Pirate: "Get used to disappointment."

[Pseudoblu]

ok probably not the funniest movie ever.. but I just saw "Strange Wilderness" and it had some pretty funny lines..

Peter Gaulke: [reading napkin] Bears are large and brown. Alright, come on. Not all bears are large. How about baby bears, huh? Bears derive their name from a football team in Chicago. No. It's the other way around. Jesus Christ Fred, come on. It is estimated that bears kill over two million salmon a year. Attacks by salmon on bears are much more rare. Right, that's got to be true, right? Alright, let's go with that one.


Peter Gaulke: Bears are a proud people, although they're not people per-say. They're animals. Bears derive their name from a football team in Chicago. Bears have been known to attack man, although the fact is that fewer people have been killed by bears than in all of World World I and World War II combined. Brown bears bloves fishing. Brown... Brown bears bloves... God, why am I having so much trouble saying brown...
Fred Wolf: Maybe it's the two b's in brown bears. Try something different.
Peter Gaulke: I got it. I'm ready. Okay. Red bears love fish.

[Ashamed Pegasus]

"Could you please step on the same foot at the same time... My tits are falling off!..."

"This never would have happened if your father was alive..."
"He's dead?..."
"Yes..."
"And my mother?..."
"She died of pneumonia while... oh, you were away..."
"My brothers?..."
"There were all killed by the plague..."
"My dog, Pogo?..."
"Run over by a carriage..."
"My goldfish, Goldie?..."
"Eaten by the cat..."
"My cat?..."
"Choked on the goldfish... Oh, it's good to be home, ain't it Master Robin?..."

[rubberghost]

[Pauliesr]

Paperboy - "10 newspapers at .20 each. That's $2...plus tip"

Lane - "Sorry Johnny, I ain't got a dime"

Paperboy - "Didn't ask for a dime"

Lane - "See, my grandma dropped acid and hijacked a busload of penguins so it's kind of a family emergency so if you could stop back later that'd be great. Thanks, bye"

(I must apologize to anyone who's knows the exact wording as I know I'm close but not 100%)

AND there are many, many classic lines from Midnight Run. One of my all time favorites

[Blu-ray Fanatic]

M-O-O-N, that spells ______

[Lak3rLee]

Originally Posted by Colglizity

Thurgood: "How long do you think you can last in here, Kenny?"
Kenny: "I don't know.... 5.......6:30?"

Man I couldn't stop laughing when he said that. It was so funny.

Watching Half Baked, baked will make you cry.

[Mr. Joshua]

Here's a few goodies for you....


Billy Madison:

http://koti.mbnet.fi/badbee/wavs/idiotic.wav

Ferris Bueller's Day Off:

http://www.kolumbus.fi/jon.haglund/wav/fb_noschool.wav

Full Metal Jacket:

http://www.saunalahti.fi/frog1/wavs/ugly.wav
http://www.kolumbus.fi/jon.haglund/wav/fmj_vomit.wav

Good Morning Vietnam:

http://koti.mbnet.fi/badbee/wavs/gmvietnam.wav

Jackie Brown:

http://koti.mbnet.fi/badbee/wavs/ak47.wav

Snakes On A Plane:

http://jonhs.com/moviesounds/wavs/soap_enough.wav

The Long Kiss Goodnight:

http://koti.mbnet.fi/badbee/wavs/assume.wav

[Pap]

Ask me about my wiener!

[Mr.Slave]

Originally Posted by theprophecy247

THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAA!!!

SPARTANS !!!!! TONIGHT!!! WE DINE!!!! IN HELL!!!!

[Marquoz]

Are you telling me that 100 men against him is a no win situation? (Paraphrase from Rambo)

You made one mistake?
Mistake? What's that?
Rambo.
(Paraphrase from Rambo 2)

Every time I hear those, it gets the blood pumping and I laugh and go, yep, he's gonna destroy something!

[BigLuvJason]

"wellll you may run like Mays but you hit like shit"
Major League